Best book on narcissism

21 Best Books on Narcissism & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Published: November 18, 2021 Updated: September 2, 2022

Published: 11/18/2021 Updated: 09/02/2022

Narcissism is characterized by a lack of empathy for others, an inflated sense of self-importance, an intense need for attention or admiration, and a prevailing quest for control. Individuals exhibiting narcissism or diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder often manipulate or exploit the people around them, so much so that cutting ties or removing oneself from the relationship may be the only healthy solution.

The books on this list have advice that can help people navigate their relationship with a narcissist, whether they choose to extricate themselves or remain involved. Many of these solutions involve managing expectations, establishing boundaries, and maintaining a healthy emotional distance.

Our list of top books on narcissism are helpful for anyone who needs guidance in dealing with a narcissist, whether they’re in a romantic, business-based, or familial relationship. Though it is considered uncommon for a high-level narcissist to participate in self-help, there are also resources for anyone who is exhibiting the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and dealing with the consequences of their actions.

For our audience’s convenience, we include links to Amazon so recommended books can be easily purchased. Choosing Therapy may earn a commission from Amazon when purchases are made using the links on this page. Read more about our high editorial standards and advertising policy.

General Books for Dealing With Narcissists

Regardless of where you are interacting with a narcissist, these books may be helpful in learning about NPD, how to deal with a narcissist, and ways to disarm them in any situation.

1. Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

If you have a narcissist in your life—whether they’re an acquaintance, coworker, or loved-one—you know that ignoring them is not a viable option. Typically, you need to communicate or cut them off. So, if you’re determined to keep this person in your life, you need to learn new strategies.

Author Wendy Behary uses her experience as a clinician and a scholar to show readers specific ways to tap into their innate strengths—compassion, empathy, and communication—to relate and converse with someone who lacks those very same traits. You’ll learn more about how they experience the world and how to anticipate or avoid certain behaviors. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to set limits and draw the line on unacceptable behaviors.

2. Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

While there are many types of emotional vampires covered in this book—antisocial, histrionic, narcissists, obsessive-compulsives, and paranoids—clinical psychologist Dr. Al Bernstein excels at showing readers different methods of identifying and distinguishing between them.

Berstein gives you the material you require to cope with narcissists before they drain you of your energy and well-being. Interestingly, he uses real-life examples like news pulled from the latest headlines to help readers deepen their understanding of what narcissists and other emotional vampires look like in action.

3. Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

Clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss expertly shows readers how to handle someone who can’t understand the give-and-take of a healthy relationship. Moving through what she calls the “seven deadly sins of narcissism,” Hotchkiss covers trademark behaviors, including exploitation, magical thinking, envy, and lack of boundaries.

Going beyond description and definition, Hotchkiss describes why, despite all of these “bad” behaviors, some people are drawn to narcissists, and gives advice for breaking these unhealthy, sometimes insidious, bonds.

4. How to Handle a Narcissist: Understanding and Dealing with a Range of Narcissistic Personalities

This determinedly objective guide describes concrete steps you can take to disengage from damaging narcissistic behavior, which doesn’t necessarily require you to cut ties with the person altogether. Author Theresa Jackson covers the span of the narcissistic scale or spectrum, covering things like narcissistic gaslighting, manipulation, and verbal abuse.

Jackson says her ultimate goal in writing How to Handle a Narcissist was to “avoid tapping into the usual stigma and negative rhetoric around narcissists, to provide the reader with greater insight and understanding, without bolstering their anger or pain.”

5. The New Science of Narcissism: Understanding One of the Greatest Psychological Challenges of Our Time—and What You Can Do About It

Narcissism is a bit of a buzzword right now, but if you want to learn more about it, including how to define it, related disorders, and dealing with the narcissists in your life, Dr. Campbell’s book is a good one for you.

Dr. Campbell explores new science behind narcissism and offers understanding in treating and dealing with narcissists, from how society shapes them to identifying narcissists in your own relationships.

Dealing with a narcissist on your own can be very hard. Having a pro on your side can make things easier. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

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Books for Those Dealing With Narcissism in a Relationship

Coping with narcissism in a relationship can be devastating. The following books may be helpful in figuring out the best tools and plans for dealing with a narcissist in this situation.

6. Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover, and Move On

In Narcissistic Lovers, co-authors Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble focus exclusively on individuals with narcissistic personality disorder who don’t wish to change or are incapable of doing so. As such, the goal of this book is to help readers leave the toxic relationship.

Zayn and Dibble write that, “if you find yourself jumping through hoops to please your partner on a daily basis, chances are something is not right.” Drawing on research and interviews with people who have been in similar relationships, they help victims recognize the severity of their situation and offer hope for healing.

7. Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist In Your Life

Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life gives support to anyone in a relationship with a narcissist as well as a plan to free yourself from their high-level narcissistic behavior. Linda Martinez-Lewi writes about regaining peace, balance, and well-being, while combining clinical analysis with the psychological profiles of famous supposed narcissists like Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright, and Ayn Rand.

As a psychologist, Martinez-Lewi understands how draining a high level narcissist can be, and how liberating it can feel to walk away.

8. The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family

This book uses ongoing metaphorical references to The Wizard of OZ, providing readers with memorable tools they can use to identify a narcissist and heal from the effects of their specific destructive behaviors. Just like the Wizard, many narcissists are people in power, including elected officials, but sometimes they’re much closer to home.

Regardless of the nature of your relationship with a narcissist—spouse, co-worker, friend, or parent —you need to protect yourself from manipulation, exploitation, and deceit. Author Eleanor Payson writes without judgement on a difficult topic, serving up self-help without resentment.

9. The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Are you in a relationship with a covert narcissist? Debbie Mirza’s book explores this particularly challenging situation, providing a checklist of behaviors you should look out for if you’re feeling unsure. It also defines the difference between an overt and covert narcissist and the techniques they use to exert control over people in their sphere of influence.

There is also a chapter on healing, and how to proceed if you choose to break free from your current relationship, recognizing that you still have emotional work to do even once they’re gone.

10. Why Can’t I Just Leave: A Guide to Waking Up and Walking Out of a Pathological Love Relationship

Do you struggle with leaving your narcissistic partner despite the abuse they’ve put you through, convince yourself you’re insane, or feel like your partner has lied so much you don’t really know who they are?

Leaving emotionally abusive relationships is difficult. The abuse can impair thought processes and convince those in these relationships that they are trapped with no way out. This guide is that wake-up call, with practical advice on how to leave the relationship.

Books for Recovering From a Narcissist

The mental, emotional, and even physical abuse a person may be subjected to when in a relationship with a narcissist is extreme. The results of this trauma is often referred to at narcissistic abuse syndrome. Recovering from the cycle of narcissistic abuse can be hard work, but the books below are a good place to start.

11. The Narcissism Recovery Workbook: Skills for Healing from Emotional Abuse

You’ve recognized the emotional abuse of a narcissist for what it was and removed yourself from the situation. Now what? How do you heal from the abuse you suffered?

If this sounds like you, consider this recovery workbook. Understand and identify what you went through and overcome feelings of shame associated with your abuse, as well as find healing through written prompts, exercises, and more.

12. The Narcissism Recovery Journal: Prompts and Practices for Healing from Emotional Abuse

This book can serve as a standalone experience or as a companion to the workbook of the same name. Work through difficult emotions, find empowering statements, and follow along to compassionate journal prompts designed to help you find healing after leaving a relationship with a narcissist.

13. Traumatic Narcissism and Recovery: Leaving the Prison of Shame and Fear

Author and psychoanalyst Daniel Shaw continues his dive into narcissistic relationships and how they impact and inform trauma. He outlines the specific ways narcissistic abusers affect their victims and how those victims can find healing and freedom from the oppressive shame they often feel.

This book is written for both therapists treating victims of narcissism and for survivors themselves.

Books for Those With Narcissistic Parents

If you grew up with narcissistic parents, you may still be dealing with the baggage of what you experienced. Healing from the emotional trauma of having a narcissistic parent is not easy, but here are some books that may be a good starting point.

14. Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self

This book by Elan Golomb is more rooted in memoir than self-help, and while some readers find certain sections to be dated, its ultimate purpose—to make people feel less alone—is completed. She draws on a dark but relatable belief shared by many children of narcissistic parents—that they do not have the right to exist.

Though the personal narrative is by the far the strongest element, Golomb also blends a series of case studies in an effort to expose the mysteries of narcissistic personality disorder. Specifically, she dives into topics such as relationship “reruns,” childhood stress, and how to heal the traumatized self.

15. Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

As the title implies, this book looks at the unique relationship between daughters and their narcissistic mothers. Historically, some women have struggled to validate their needs before the needs of others, and this tendency is often made worse if they were brought up by a narcissist.

Author Karyl McBride, a licensed marriage and family therapist, assists readers in their battle to reclaim their lives. Readers may be suffering from feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and fear that leave them unable to form healthy relationships, but McBride’s work shows them how to recognize their trauma, construct a plan to break old patterns, and take back control.

16. Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up’s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

Author Nina W. Brown lays out concise definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help readers understand the extent of their parents’ issues. It delves into different types of destructive behaviors, and how to recognize the effect they had on you and your ability to form relationships as an adult.

Brown suggests the creation of realistic strategies and a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and maintaining a relationship with narcissistic parents. It helps you moderate the damaging impact of your uniquely challenging upbringing.

17. The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment

This innovative book suggests that being raised by a narcissist is actually the emotional equivalent to be raised by an alcoholic. It presents a new therapeutic model for treating adults who suffered at the hands of emotional abusive or neglectful parents.

Authors Stephanie Donaldson and Robert Pressman outline a handful of clinical examples to illustrate the best path forward for individuals who never learned how to recognize or meet their own needs. Although it was originally written for psychologists, readers use words like “accessible” and “germaine” to describe its contents.

18. Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

In this engaging read by psychologist Jonice Webb, readers learn more about what it means to have been raised by narcissistic parents. She writes that if your parents displayed certain kinds of tendencies, then you’re at risk of either developing the same behaviors they modeled or enabling that kind of behavior in your own relationships. Remember though, you are not alone in this struggle.

The world is full of people who have experienced and are still dealing with the effects of emotional neglect in their childhood—people who feel like something is missing. Running on Empty gives clear steps on how to heal from the trauma of your past.

Help For Narcissistic Abuse

Individual Therapy – Get personalized help with recovering from narcissistic abuse from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp offers online sessions by video or text. Try BetterHelp

Support Groups – You are not alone in dealing with a narcissist. Sesh offers over 100 different support groups per month, with at least once a week focused on narcissism. First Month Free

Books On Narcissism – See our handpicked selection of Narcissism Books List

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Books for Those Dealing With a Narcissist in the Workplace

It is important to recognize the key characteristics of a narcissist in the workplace, and these books outline what to watch for, as well as give you a plan for with how to deal with narcissistic boss, colleague, or business associate.

19. Working with the Self-Absorbed: How to Handle Narcissistic Personalities on the Job

Due, in part, to their charisma and charm, many narcissists become business and political leaders. It’s easy to be fooled into complacency at first, but ultimately, they may try to take advantage of you and become extremely difficult to work with. If you’re stuck, you need to establish boundaries as well as a “separate-but-equal” work environment.

Working with the Self-Absorbed covers the “how,” but the “when” is entirely up to you.

20. Narcissism at Work: Personality Disorders of Corporate Leaders

Not only does this book help readers recognize the characteristics of a narcissist in business, management, and politics, it also offers a run-down on specific coping skills. This is a resource for individual employees, human resource managers, organizational leaders, and psychologists.

Author Marie-Line Germain pays close attention to how variables like personal productivity, well-being, and motivation can factor into how toxic work relationships play out and impact the organization as a whole.

Books for Those Dealing With Narcissism Themselves

If you recognize narcissistic tendencies within yourself, this book may be a helpful tool for learning more about how to cope with narcissism in various scenarios. With dedication and support from a good therapist, narcissists can change, stop their narcissistic traits, and repair their relationships.

21. Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited

This book is written from the perspective of a self-proclaimed narcissist, Sam Vaknin. It’s an interesting, behind-the-scenes look at the so-called “making of a narcissist” that could resonate both with narcissists and the people under their influence.

Vaknin covers a variety of topics and settings where a narcissist might try to exert their manipulative power, including the Church, politics, and the community at large. Whether you know a narcissist or are one, this book aims to teach coping methods that will ultimately protect you and the people around you.

Additional Resources

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Originally Published: October 1, 2020
Original Author: Melissa Boudin
PsyD
Original Reviewer: Trishanna Sookdeo
MD, MPH, FAAFP
Updated: November 18, 2021
Author: No Change
Reviewer: No Change
Primary Changes: Added five new books. New sections reviewed by Dena Westphalen, Pharm.D.

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The Best Books To Help You Understand Narcissism

Lifestyle

by Sarah Aswell

Jan. 12, 2022

Kathrin Ziegler/Getty Images

You probably think this book is about you

The word narcissism gets thrown around a lot — and everyone on earth does a narcissistic thing here and there. But when it comes to narcissistic personality disorder, a real and serious psychological problem, it can affect the daily lives of entire families and even down through the generations. If you have a narcissistic person in your life, or grew up with one, it’s vital that you understand the issue fully as well as its affect on you — from their traits to their motives to their actions. Having a narcissistic parent, partner, or ex can have lasting consequences, but it’s possible to understand and move on.

This is certainly not an exhaustive list of books about narcissism, but these are the ones that helped us most when it came to learning about the subject and better understanding narcissistic people and their impact on others. From straight psychological non-fiction to self-help, these books will educate you and help you act, and help you heal.

We only include products that have been independently selected by Scary Mommy’s editorial team. However, we may receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy T. Behary MSW LCSW

Recommended by therapists, and one of the most popular books about narcissism, we love this book because it’s an extremely practical how-to guide that provides step-by-step instruction on how to deal with the self-obsessed people in your life, whether they live in your home, are related to you, or work with you professionally. We love the advice on how to continue to exist in their world (when you have to) by better understanding how they think and setting limits to protect yourself and your feelings.

$14.58

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.

A good number of people who are looking to learn about narcissism are trying to recover from being raised by one. This book is specifically written for women who were raised by selfish, self-involved, and toxic mothers – many of whom were emotional abusers. This self-help book, written by a family therapist, is designed to help the grown kids of narcissists recognize the harmful internalized messages they carry and take back control of their lives and emotions.

$9.78

Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

In this book, psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss goes over the seven deadly sins of narcissism: Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, and Bad Boundaries. While exploring these seven ideas, she also gives readers the tools to understand how narcissists develop, why we are initially attracted to them, and then how to limit their influence on our lives.

$10.39

The New Science of Narcissism: Understanding One of the Greatest Psychological Challenges of Our Time―and What You Can Do About It by W. Keith Campbell PhD

This book is an in-depth look at narcissism in our time – and we appreciate that it explains that there are reasons that narcissistic traits are increasing in our society and culture today. We also appreciate the book’s view that narcissism is largely a spectrum, and that we all display narcissistic traits and tendencies now and then. Read this book to learn broadly about the issues, as well as how to understand narcissism in yourself and in others.

$11

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor D. Payson LMSW

Written through the lens of Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, this book offers an easy-to-understand framework for understanding narcissism and its effects on others. Throughout the book, the author provides readers with the tools to identify narcissism, protect themselves from it, and heal from the damage that they can cause. We particularly like the use of specific case studies throughout the book that help us see narcissism as it appears in the real world.

$14.95

Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover, and Move On by Cynthia Zayn

This book solely focuses on people who are in a romantic relationship or marriage with a narcissist and how those people can understand their partner, escape the relationship, and heal from what has happened to them. While it’s written by a researcher and educator, the book is non-clinical and easy to read – and much of the studies and science talk is broken up with interviews and real-world case studies.

$17.95

Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Arabi

While many of the above book focus on the narcissist, this book is more centered on the victims of narcissism and the psychology surrounding them. For example: what attracts certain people to narcissists? Why do they have trouble leaving these relationships? How can they rewrite the narrative that narcissists have taught them to believe? This is a book that you will highlight a lot – and a great book for people who feel stuck in any kind of a relationship with a narcissist.

$17.85

Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad-and Surprising Good-About Feeling Special by Dr. Craig Malkin

This book is a little different – it looks at the broader trend of narcissism in our country as well as the positive aspects of loving yourself. Basically: that there are positive narcissistic traits, while too much of a good thing that gets very bad very fast. Much of this book is dedicated to understand what’s healthy about narcissism and what’s not, and taking clear steps toward engendering the good stuff and watching out for the bad stuff.

$12.49

SHOP THE STORY

Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy T. Behary MSW LCSW

$14.58

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.

$9.78

Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

$10. 39

The New Science of Narcissism: Understanding One of the Greatest Psychological Challenges of Our Time―and What You Can Do About It by W. Keith Campbell PhD

$11

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor D. Payson LMSW

$14.95

Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover, and Move On by Cynthia Zayn

$17.95

Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Arabi

$17.85

Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad-and Surprising Good-About Feeling Special by Dr. Craig Malkin

$12.49

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NARSISSS in your life. How to claim your rights and restore personal boundaries

Julie Hall

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Narcissism is deeply destructive to those who are subject to its distortions, manipulations and rages. How to recognize a narcissist? What happens in a narcissistic family? What are the health problems associated with narcissistic abuse? These and many other questions the author is a coach and journalist, as well as directly...

Selfie. Why we are obsessed with ourselves and how it affects us

Will Storr

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Every day we are flooded with selfies and motivational posts from smartphone screens - and we ourselves strive to look perfect in the eyes of others. However, dissatisfaction with oneself, the eternal companion of perfectionism, can drive a person to madness and suicide. How 21st century narcissism has changed our lives ...

Beyond the self. The object relations model in psychoanalytic therapy

Frank Summers

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F. L. Summers presents an empirical and theoretical foundation for the psychoanalytic treatment model for borderline narcissistic and neurotic patients. The model is based on the mechanisms of personality changes, overcoming the patient's weaknesses. The book may be useful to clinical psychologists, ps...

Narcissus in armor. Psychoideology of the “grand self” in politics and power

Aleksandr Rubtsov

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The book is devoted to a fundamentally new topic for us political narcissism. A phenomenon that seems familiar to many and quite marginal, turns into one of the fundamental problems of all our time - an epidemic of narcissism and dynasties of narcissists, the "plague of the 21st century" and the psychological core of the post. .. you, what does a peacock look like? Or not, better not. Have you ever noticed that some people in your environment are preoccupied exclusively with themselves? For sure - yes. The main character of this story, Veronika Solntseva, is a very emotional and narcissistic person, in whose heart, head and life...

Narcissists, psychopaths and other toxins. How to recognize them and cope with the consequences of abuse

Anna Mai

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They are irresistible, but toxic. And they act like a slow poison. At first, such a partner seems like a dream come true and a gift of fate - but soon the fooled victim, caught in a web of manipulation, ceases to understand where the truth is and where the lie is, begins to doubt his own mind. By the way, psychologists...

Pick-up artists-daffodils. Reptilian Brain

Olga Silistin

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The book describes the psychological characteristics of the character of a narcissistic personality, the manipulations and reasons for the success of narcissists in society and with women, reveals the habits and tricks of their behavior, provides examples of world-famous narcissists and their attitude towards women. Narcissists are pick-up artists in their own way...

When I grow up. Allowance for adult girls from dysfunctional families

Ekaterina Sokolova

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“Ekaterina Sokolova’s book – poignant and naked – will make everyone think about many things... It takes years for women to understand, change themselves, live fully... You will get to know all the characters live, see the path of their transformation, and sometimes their fall . You will see the root causes of them not all...

The touch of melting faces. Essays and articles for those who can feel.

Ekaterina Sokolova

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"Clara was the daughter of a drunkard, from childhood she was prone to strong affects; even insignificant causes caused strong affects in her, that she could not control herself; the mood of the spirit in her was dominated by sadness: she considered herself unhappy ... she was an unbalanced nature.Her sex life, like all degenerates. ..

Diagnosis of the Devil

Zhenya Kalinina

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Artistic and psychological novel. The book tells about the life of a young girl, about her plans, dreams, love and what happened to her. Rina faces psychological abuse and experiences traumatic events without noticing how her personality is slowly being destroyed. Indeed, among her close people...

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This section presents the top best books and audiobooks on the topic "Narcissism". Full list of 19popular books and audiobooks on the topic, ratings and reviews from readers. Read books or listen on the site online, download the application for iOS or Android, so as not to part with your favorite books even without the Internet.

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1.

"Narcissism and Personality Transformation" Nathan Schwartz-Salant

Narcissism in the usual sense is an excessive love for oneself, behind which a person does not see the feelings, desires, needs of the people around him. In fact, narcissism is a personality disorder, and what others take for narcissism, self-absorption is only the outward manifestation of a powerful mental defense - from heartache, self-doubt, fragile identity. Nathan Schwartz-Salant, a teaching analyst at the New York Association for Analytical Psychology and one of the most famous Jungian researchers on personality psychopathology, describes the theories of narcissism from the point of view of classical and Jungian psychoanalysis and methods of working with people suffering from narcissistic disorders. (Klass, 2007)

2. "Psychoanalytic Diagnosis" Nancy McWilliams

A basic textbook on psychoanalytic personality diagnosis, in which only one, but very informative, chapter is devoted to describing the narcissistic type. The American psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams shows the most characteristic features of narcissists, the similarities and differences of this personality type from others (hysterical, depressive, schizoid ...), the prevailing emotions and affects, drives and defenses, the most typical relationships with other people; how a person perceives himself, how others see him ... Nancy McWilliams is sure that without knowing these features, it is difficult to understand another person, and for a professional to choose the right direction in counseling. (Klass, 2006)

3. “Infernal web. How to survive in a world of narcissism Sandy Hotchkiss

Demonstrating a sense of their own superiority, narcissists, like no one else, are dependent on the opinions of others, they eagerly catch approval and admiration, they are destroyed by any, even insignificant, criticism. They envy those who know how to enjoy life, but they themselves are not able anywhere and never to establish themselves in a sense of their own significance. American psychoanalyst Sandy Hotchkis talks in detail about the deepest problems of people with narcissistic disorder. She analyzes not only the signs, but also the origins of narcissism, describes behavioral strategies that can be applied in relationships with narcissistic children, lovers and colleagues. Her practical advice will be useful to many. (Klass, 2010)

4. "The Drama of the Gifted Child" by Alice Miller

A bestseller by Swiss psychoanalyst and the world's leading specialist in child abuse, Alice Miller, is dedicated to narcissistic mothers and their influence on children. Having a traumatic experience and suffering from basic shame, such mothers unconsciously use children to maintain "narcissistic balance" and raise self-esteem. They see their child not as he is, but as they need him to be. They use his abilities and talents not for the sake of his development, but for the sake of satisfying their need for social recognition. The narcissistic child quickly realizes that in order to earn the love of his mother, he must do what she likes. The fulfillment of the role imposed on him provides the child with the “love” of the mother and a certain security. Even as adults, such children continue to live in subordination to parental needs and are not able to develop an independent idea of themselves. (Academic project, 2015)

5. “Beware of the daffodil! How to deal with these narcissistic types” Joseph Burgo

Some narcissists are just self-centered and deaf to the feelings of others, while others are really dangerous, they create chaos in our lives, take revenge, humiliate and devalue their loved ones, deliberately causing pain. But to treat them with mockery and contempt means to answer them in kind, and to empathize is sometimes beyond our strength. “All you can do is understand them,” concludes Joseph Burgo, an American psychotherapist with 30 years of experience. He reveals the mechanism of narcissistic trauma and describes how narcissists protect themselves from unconscious shame. The author gives so many vivid life examples that in the end you will definitely learn how to identify real narcissists among your acquaintances and learn how to communicate with them. And also - you will understand that we have much more in common than differences. And being aware of your own narcissistic traits is just as important as noticing them in others. (Alpina Publisher, 2016, coming out in October)

6. Psychology of the narcissistic personality. The Inner Child and Self-Esteem Katrin Asper

Summarizing various psychoanalytic theories on the psychology of narcissism, as well as her own clinical experience, the Swiss Jungian analyst Katrin Asper concludes that the cause of narcissistic personality disorders is a violation of the relationship between mother and infant. If a mother is unable to capture and meet the true physiological and emotional needs of her child, he experiences this as rejection and feels abandoned. To avoid these unbearable feelings, he is forced to adapt to the expectations of his mother, giving up some important parts of his personality. And as an adult, most likely, he will feel inner discord, emptiness, “self-alienation” and not understand their cause.

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