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Are introverts lazy


Introverted or lazy? - Crownview Medical Group

April L’Heureux, LMFT
Marriage and Family Therapist

April is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT, with over 20 years experience in her field. She is honored to now be a part of Crownview Medical Group, with 2 locations; Carlsbad Village and Coronado Island. April is available at the Carlsbad location for in-person visits, but can also work with you via Telemedicine.

April earned her BA in Psychology from Antioch College, and MA in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in marriage, family therapy from Phillips Graduate Institute. She uses Integrative Wellness Therapy, CBT, DBT, and more to treat her patients. April believes that wellness is achieved by a combination of emotional, environmental, mental, physical, spiritual and social health. For example, trauma is an unpleasant or disturbing experience that makes you feel upset, and/or anxious. That is how she addresses such trauma, with the use of several powerful modalities.

April has also expanded on her personal and professional skill set through the study of Music, Movement and Opera at the University of North Texas, which led to performing with the Riverside Opera, Los Angeles Master Chorale, and Danny Daniels Dance America in Santa Monica, CA. These experiences, as well as being a classically trained Cellist, have helped her develop the ability to tap into a client’s creativity, foster healing from within, and appreciate the importance of the arts in promoting healing during therapeutic interventions.

Kelvin Poon, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner

Kelvin Poon is a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, board-certified by American Nurses Credentialing Center and licensed in California. He is a passionate healthcare professional with 7 years of inpatient psychiatric nursing experience and is committed to providing excellent, compassionate, holistic, culturally competent and patient-and-family centered care.

Kelvin earned his Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing from California State University San Marcos in 2014. He worked as a Registered Nurses for 2 years at Aurora Behavioral Healthcare San Diego Hospital and 5 years at Scripps Mercy Hospital’s Behavioral Health Unit before earning his Master of Science degree in Nursing from California State University San Marcos with focus as a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner in 2021.

Kelvin was born and raised in Hong Kong and speaks English and Cantonese. Growing up in Hong Kong, he directly observed the stigmatization of mental illness and the effects of this in his culture, which has motivated his career goal of becoming a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. His philosophy is to work hard to reduce the stigma associated with mental illness by promoting awareness and education within the community. Dedicated to being a strong advocate for his clients, Kelvin brings a strong sense of compassion to his practice.

Kimberly Umansky, FNP-C
Family Nurse Practitioner

Kimberly Umansky is a Family Nurse Practitioner, board certified by the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners certification board and is qualified to practice in both primary care and psychiatry and to diagnose, treat, and prescribe medication for children, adolescents, and adults. Some of her practice specialties include (but are not limited to) ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Insomnia. Kim’s style of practice includes traditional treatment (prescribing up-to-date psychiatric medications) combined with natural treatments including nutrition, lifestyle modification, exercise, and stress management. She believes the mind-body connection is the core foundation to any treatment, health, and wellness.

Kim began her nursing career in 1995, and over the course of twenty seven years of medical practice, she has had the privilege to work in a variety of different practice areas, including gynecology, dermatology, internal medicine, pediatrics, post-anesthesia care, and hospital based nursing before earning her Masters in Nursing with a focus as a Family Nurse Practitioner in 2017. Kim received her Associate of Science and Associate Degree of Nursing from Ohlone College. She went on to receive her Bachelor’s degree from University of Phoenix and then her Master’s Degree with Distinction from Chamberlain College of Nursing with a focus as a Family Nurse Practitioner. Kim currently works in both internal medicine and psychiatry. It was during her time working in internal medicine that she realized that many of her patients were struggling with their mental health. Realizing that psychiatry was her passion, she wanted to help others by providing tools to manage their mental health concerns. Kim has always enjoyed helping people and finds her work very rewarding.

Jillian DeLorme, PhD
Psychologist

Dr. Jill DeLorme is a licensed psychologist who completed her training at the California School of Professional Psychology in San Diego. She provides neuropsychological testing to individuals and families who have concerns about developmental disorders. She also provides testing for people who have concerns about their learning, memory, and other cognitive abilities. Neuropsychological testing can help clarify a person’s diagnosis, or diagnoses, to better inform treatment interventions. Dr. DeLorme respects the Autism community and strives to be a neurodivergent affirmative provider who offers evaluation to help people better understand themselves and their interactions with the world. She also help individuals who are seeking interventions get connected with appropriate referrals. Dr. DeLorme, when available, also provides short term therapy using DBT interventions.

Nancy Stepanek, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Nurse Practitioner

Nancy Stepanek is board certified as a nurse practitioner in both mental health for all ages and adult health. She obtained her Bachelor of Science in Nursing at St. Luke’s College in Kansas City, Missouri. She earned her MSN as an adult nurse practitioner with a palliative care specialty from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee in 2008. She was working in Internal Medicine when she realized that many of her patients were struggling with their mental health. Therefore, she went back to school for a Post Master’s Certificate as a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner across the Lifespan at the University of Missouri-Kansas City in 2018.

Nancy started hospice work in nursing school as a home health aide, over the years she has been a hospice nurse, hospice team leader and hospice nurse practitioner. Nancy has worked in general medicine, oncology, geriatrics, and internal medicine over the years. She has always held on to the principles she developed in hospice – patient care, compassion, teamwork, and a patient’s right to fully understand their care and have input into deciding their care.
As a recent San Diego resident, Nancy and her husband enjoy walking around all the beautiful places in Southern California and trying all the wonderful restaurants.

Tim Sartori, MSN, FNP-C
Nurse Practitioner

Tim Sartori is a Family Nurse Practitioner, board-certified by the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners and licensed in California. His philosophy of care includes providing up-to-date evidence-based treatments with a patient-centered focus allowing him to collaborate with patients and their families to create personalized treatment plans.

Tim earned his first degree in Business Administration from University of the Pacific in 2008 before receiving his Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing from Azusa Pacific University in 2017. He worked as a Registered Nurse for 3 years at Sharp Memorial Hospital before earning his Master of Science in Nursing from Azusa Pacific University with focus as a Family Nurse Practitioner in 2020.

Tim’s experiences working in a variety of different fields from business to healthcare as an EMT and a registered nurse gives him a unique perspective on mental health issues. His goal is to provide patients with personalized education and tools to navigate their mental health concerns and enrich their own lives.

Christina Lam, PMHNP-BC
Nurse Practitioner

Christina Lam is dedicated Nurse Practitioner with years of nursing experience. Her background is in psychiatry, emergency, and critical care. She is a skilled communicator who is professional, personal, and very adaptable. She is self-motivated with energy, initiative, and focus. She has a keen insight into the needs and views of others. She is able to listen and identify issues or problem areas and form innovative solutions.

Christina graduated from University of San Diego in 2010, obtaining her Family Nurse Practitioner’s certification in 2011, and most recently became certified in 2019 as a Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. She specializes in Children, Adult, Family and Geriatric Psychiatry.

Dede Echitey, PMHNP-BC
Nurse Practitioner

Dede Echitey is a Family Nurse Practitioner, board-certified by the American Academy Nurse Credentialing Center, and licensed by the states of Virginia and California to provide family-centered healthcare to patients of all ages. Her scope of practice encompasses health promotion, disease prevention, diagnosis and management of common and complex health care problems beginning in childhood and continuing throughout the aging process.

Dede earned an Associate of Science degree in Nursing from Del Mar Community College. She continued her education, earning a Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing from the Kaiser University. She then completed a Master of Science degree in Nursing, with a focus in Family medicine, from Walden University. Most recently in 2020, Dede became certified as a Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner.

Dede began her career in nursing in 2010 and has been a family nurse practitioner since 2015. Her previous experience includes work in Inpatient Psychiatric Hospital, rural health and urgent clinics as well at the US Immigration Detention Center. She is qualified to diagnose and treat a wide array of conditions across the entire lifespan.

Rachael Hueftle, NP
Nurse Practitioner

Bio: Rachael Hueftle is a board-certified nurse practitioner with over 10 years of experience. She graduated from University of Nevada, Reno, in 2008 with her Master’s Degree. Having a background in Critical Care, Orthopedics, Pain Management and Psychiatry she is a wealth of information. She is very passionate about her profession and truly cares about the well-being of her patients. She will listen to your concerns, discuss treatment options and communicate with you all of her thoughts and recommendations for your own self-improvement and awareness. She is here to support and guide you. She will welcome you with a smile and treat you with respect, compassion and empathy.

Brieana Turner, MA, LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Brieana specializes in psychotherapy, trauma-informed care, and providing psychoeducation on healthy coping skills and teaching various life skills. She has an extensive background in working with teens and adults with severe emotional, mental and behavioral issues. She prides her work in establishing a safe environment, working one-on-one to promote healing of individual struggles, family relationships, alcohol and drug dependencies, and restoring healthy lifestyles. Her passion is seeing children, families and couples create strong, nurturing bonds that enable the healing process for all.

Brieana has an impressive resume including stints with various adult rehabilitation programs catering to co-occurring disorders, residential treatment programs for troubled youth as well as experience in local partial hospitalization programs. She holds a BA in Child and Adolescent Development: Youth and Family Services from San Francisco State University and a MA in Counseling Psychology: Marriage and Family therapy from National University.

Brieana enjoys spending time with her family including her husband, young daughter and two German Shepherds. She likes all things San Diego and cares about the well-being of the people in her community.

Apneet Mann, FNP-C
Nurse Practitioner

Bio coming soon.

Rodney Sidransky, M.D.
Psychiatrist

Dr. Rodney Sidransky earned his M.D. at UMDNJ-NJMS-Rutgers and did his Emergency Medicine Residency at Martin Luther King Jr. – Drew Medical Center in Compton, California. He then returned to Newark, NJ to do a Psychiatry residency. He has practiced adult and adolescent psychiatry with an emphasis in Addiction Medicine most recently at Pemarro Recovery Center in Ramona, CA. He also speaks fluent Spanish.

Joanne Talbot Miller, M.A., LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Joanne Talbot Miller is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a background in crisis intervention. Joanne began her career as an MFT working in an emergency shelter program for survivors of domestic violence and human trafficking with substance abuse and severe mental health issues. Joanne has provided individual and group therapy within residential and outpatient transitional housing programs. She has facilitated groups on domestic violence education, safety planning, anger management, communication, substance abuse, prevention, and independent living. She has worked on a crisis hotline for students providing suicide assessments, suicide prevention and support to transitional age youth. Joanne provided crisis counseling and helped students connect with services such as drug and alcohol treatment, emergency housing, and mental health treatment.
Joanne’s career has a strong behavioral background working with children and adolescents with developmental, emotional, and behavior problems. Working with the whole family Joanne taught strategies to improve behavior, family functioning, and alleviate daily stress in the home.

Joanne brings an integrative approach to therapy that brings together the affective, behavioral, cognitive, and physiological levels of functioning. This approach helps individuals gain insight into themselves, and reduces unhealthy, dysfunctional defense mechanisms and patterns of behavior.

Joanne graduated from the University of Luton in England and continued her education earning her Master’s Degree in Marriage, Family, and Child Therapy from the University of Phoenix.

Brianna Meacham
Marriage and Family Therapist

Bachelor of Arts, Psychology, Minor, Business Administration
University of Oregon, Eugene, OR, June 2002
Master’s, Marriage and Family Therapy
Alliant International University, San Diego, CA, June 2005

Brianna is a Marriage and Family Therapist, licensed with the Board of Behavioral Sciences, license #48685.

Following graduate school she gathered 3000 hours of experience to sit for the licensing exams and became licensed by the Board of Behavioral Sciences in 2010. In that time she worked as a Service Coordinator at the San Diego Regional Center and as a Program Therapist at the San Diego Center for Children. Additionally, she kept a private practice at First Avenue Counseling Centre. Currently she works as a clinician for Paradise Valley Hospital and see clients at Crown View Medical Group. Brianna is also a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. She has experience with the following:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Psychiatric disorders
  • Severely emotionally disturbed children and teenagers
  • Couples
  • Domestic violence
  • Families
  • Developmentally disabled individuals and their families

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Brianna utilizes many different theoretical models to help clients reach their goals including the following:

  • Imago
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Behavior modification
  • Structural therapy

Tiffany Holm N. P.
Nurse Practitioner

Tiffany Holm earned her Family Nurse Practitioner degree from Yale University and has been in practice over 10 years. She believes the happiness in our lives depends on the quality of our thoughts and mental wellness. One of her greatest joys is listening intently to her patients, then together, discussing individualized lifestyle modifications and evidence-based medication options to reach goals and ultimately, increase the happiness of those entrusted under her care.

J. Heather Fitzpatrick, LCSW
Therapist

As a naval spouse and the mother of an autistic child, J. Heather Fitzpatrick, LCSW knows how difficult it can be to cope with adversity. As an experienced therapist, Heather is well equipped to help guide you towards a happy and fulfilling life.

Heather earned her BA in Psychology from prestigious Clark University in Worcester, MA and went on to obtain a Masters in Clinical Social Work from well known Smith College in Northampton, MA. She has worked in the mental health field since 2001 and was last employed by Fleet and Family Services in Coronado, CA before entering private practice with Crownview Medical Center.

Heather serves children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families using a variety of treatment modalities to help clients address issues such as depression, anxiety, trauma, PTSD, substance abuse, relational problems, parenting concerns, and life adjustments to name a few.

Current Licensing Information: LCS No. 28929, Board of Behavioral Sciences, CA

Agata Nowakowska
Marriage and Family Therapist

gata is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who provides guidance to individuals and families to feel more empowered in managing life’s obstacles, rebuilding important relationships and reaching their highest potential.

She received her Master’s Degree in Counseling from San Diego State University. Throughout her career she has worked in a variety of settings helping culturally diverse individuals, children and families, struggling with emotional, social, developmental and academic issues.

Her primary approach to therapy is collaborative, holistic and strength based, offering a compassionate and healing space where clients feel safe to explore their unique thoughts, beliefs and feelings. She has over 10 years of experience incorporating into her practice CBT, Narrative and Solution Focused Therapy, as well as Expressive Arts and Play Therapy.

Agata treats the following issues:

  • ADD/ADHD
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Addiction
  • ASD, Asperger’s Disorder
  • Self-Identity Development
  • Life Transitions
  • Adjusting to new culture
  • Parenting Issues

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Agata specializes in, and enjoy working with, children and adolescents using Expressive Arts and Play Therapy techniques to which children respond very well and often prefer over traditional therapy. She is a Certified Parenting Coach of Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Joy of Parenting Program. From her personal experience being a mother to a teenage boy and stepmother of two children, she can relate and likes to help parents and step-families struggling with parenting issues.

Maha Moses, PhD
Psychologist

Dr. Moses earned her Master’s Degree in Professional Psychology from the Universitė de Nice Sophia Antipolis, Nice, France. She obtained her doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University California School of Professional Psychology in San Diego, California.

Dr. Moses has over 20 years-experience treating a wide array of psychiatric disorders with adults and adolescents. She has worked with clients who suffer from acute and chronic disorders in a number of settings including psychiatric hospitals, residential treatment centers and community agencies. For the past 10 years, Dr. Moses has provided therapy at a drug and alcohol treatment center, with in-patient and out-patient services, focusing on her clients’ substance abuse and other co-occurring psychiatric disorders such as anxiety spectrum disorders, mood disorders-including depression and PTSD.

In her private practice, Dr. Moses also provides psychological evaluation, pre-surgical psychological clearance, and psychological services to clients within pain management. She has extensive experience in psychological assessments with children and adults in a variety of settings. Her life experiences and years of practice have significantly enhanced her approach to therapy and she is passionate about her practice.

Rebecca McKnight, PsyD
Psychologist

Dr. McKnight earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology at UCLA and received her Doctorate of Psychology in 2009 from Alliant International University California School of Professional Psychology in San Diego, California. She has been licensed since 2010 and has over 10 years of experience in the mental health field at various locations and with different populations.

Some of her work and training experiences include individual therapy, couples therapy, inpatient and partial hospitalization treatment, correctional (prison) psychology, PTSD study for the VA and long-term therapy and psychological evaluations with adolescents and adults.

Most recently she worked with active duty military personnel at the Mental Health Clinic at the Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton from 2012-2014. She has maintained her own private practice since 2009 because she is passionate about therapy and psychological testing.

Dr. McKnight treats adolescents and adults and provides individual and couples therapy as well as psychological evaluations. In her practice, Dr. McKnight focuses on a whole-person approach and incorporates CBT and mindfulness into her practice. Currently, she has dedicated her career to full-time private practice with clients at Crownview Medical Group and Crownview Co-Occurring Institute.

Dr. Mark Melden
Psychiatrist, CEO/President of Crownview Co-Occurring Institute

Dr. Melden earned his Doctorate in Osteopathic Medicine at Philadelphia College Osteopathic Medicine and went to USC Presbyterian Hospital for his residency in Family Medicine. He then completed his Psychiatric residency at the University of California, Irvine and went to UCSD Geropsychiatry pursuing a fellowship. Dr. Melden has over 14 years of experience as a clinician specializing in treating child and adolescent, adult and geriatric clients. He has devoted his life to psychiatry in a variety of different treatment settings including in- patient and out-patient environments. He specializes in the psychiatric evaluation, complementary therapy approaches, and medical management of individuals suffering from mental illness. Currently, he maintains a private practice with Crownview Medical Group in Coronado and Carlsbad, California where he is CEO/President.

Dr. Melden is a dedicated medical professional who provides a spectrum of services from general care to specialized state-of-the-art treatment. He is committed to providing specialized and individualized services with a comprehensive treatment plan for each client he treats. Dr. Melden believes the optimal way to provide excellent care is through continued attention and maintenance.

Anne Cox, M.D.
Psychiatrist

Dr. Cox is a board certified psychiatrist who received her education from the University of Kansas School of Medicine where she received her medical degree in 1986. She completed her residency in Psychiatry also at the University of Kansas School of Medicine where she was Chief Resident. Prior to medical school Dr. Cox taught science to junior and senior high school students.

Her medical career has included serving in a rural setting, in community mental health, in a regional hospital based private practice and elderly residents of nursing homes.

Dr. Cox specializes in the treatment of adult and geriatric psychiatry as well as having several years of experience working with active duty and veteran soldiers and their dependents.

Nathan Kuemmerle, MD
Psychiatrist

Dr. Nathan Kuemmerle graduated from UC Irvine-College of Medicine with General Adult Psychiatry Residency training in Los Angeles. He has trained extensively in UCLA, Cedar-Sinai, VA and L. A. County systems. As an outpatient psychiatrist, Dr. Kuemmerle has worked extensively in California, including Downtown Los Angeles, Northern California, South Central, West L.A., and now Carlsbad.

Dr. Kuemmerle has been in actual private practice for five years and has continued to stay updated in the latest and best medical treatments for all psychiatric diagnoses. Dr. Kuemmerle was born in San Diego, lived locally, and attended Torrey Pines High School in Del Mar, California.

13 Things People Do That Actually Mean 'I'm an Introvert'

Can you tell the difference between an introvert and a rude person? Or the difference between introversion and depression? Can you pick out the introverts in your family or friend group — or do you simply consider certain people to be a little “closed off” or “awkward”?

Although introverts are living in a golden age where more awareness than ever has been brought to temperament, we “quiet ones” are still frequently misunderstood in the workplace, at school, and at home. Few people know what introversion truly means. It’s often confused for something else — like a lack of confidence — and introverts are mislabeled as depressed, rude, or simply weird.

Here are 13 things people do that might actually mean “I’m an introvert.”

1. Arriving late or leaving early

For introverts, socializing is all about dosage, due to the way our brains respond to rewards. Many introverts want to have friends and feel included, too, but they can only be around people for so long. They may arrive late to a social gathering or leave early to prevent burnout and overwhelm.

2. Seeming hot and cold

You might be dealing with an introvert if the person is chatty and outgoing one day, then practically nonexistent the next. Introverts alternate between periods of socializing and periods of alone time.

3. Spending a lot of time alone in their bedroom

Yes, this could also be an indication of depression. Many people who are depressed report struggling to get out of bed and get anything done.

However, this could also be a sign of introversion. For many introverts, our bedrooms are sacred spaces where we shut out the noise of the world. Although everyone is “lazy” sometimes, when introverts are relaxing in their bedroom, it’s probably because they’re trying to lower their stimulation level and recharge their energy.

4. Avoiding socializing

Steering clear of others may indicate social anxiety, especially if the person is experiencing a panic attack or fearful, racing thoughts. But it could also indicate introversion.

Introverts simply don’t have as much “people” energy as extroverts, so they pick their social interactions carefully. Running into someone they haven’t seen in years — and not wanting to suffer through energy-sucking small talk — might send an introvert dashing into the “safety” of a public restroom until the coast is clear.

5. Getting tongue-tied and being unable to explain something

Everyone struggles to put their thoughts into words at times, probably because our brain evolved to think in images, not words. But for introverts, it may be even harder to express what’s going on in their inner world, because introverts may rely more on long-term memory than short-term memory. Extroverts may do the opposite.

6. Craving deep relationships…

…but not knowing how to get there. 

Many introverts long for deep, intimate connections with others. They want to know what’s really going on in someone’s mind and heart — not just the face they’re showing the public. Conversationally, they want to tackle the big questions, share what they know, analyze an important issue, or learn something new.

Problem is, they don’t always know how to make those meaningful conversations happen.

7. Hating being the center of attention

A shy person might hate being the center of attention. But an introvert might hate it, too, for a different reason.

Shyness has to do with fear, but introversion has to do with being more sensitive to certain types of stimulation. Just as a shy person might find it anxiety-provoking to do a group icebreaker or give a speech, an introvert might find it overstimulating — and thus overwhelming.

8. Having plenty to say over text but going quiet in person

You might be dealing with an introvert if someone is articulate, witty, and intimate over text, but quiet, private, and a little awkward in person. Many introverts feel they express themselves better in writing than through spontaneous speech.

9. Zoning out in a very busy place

It may seem rude when someone zones out and doesn’t talk much — especially in a social setting. But don’t automatically conclude this person is rude or self-absorbed. This person might simply be an introvert.

Compared to extroverts, introverts have less tolerance for loud, busy environments (like a restaurant, bar, club, or party). They can easily become overstimulated and overwhelmed — and their mind will check out.

10. Suggesting low-key things to do on the weekend

If someone frequently suggests “boring” things to do on the weekend, like watching a movie at home, ordering takeout, or hanging out just the two of you, this person might be an introvert.

11. Seeming closed off when meeting someone new

Unfortunately, we often assume the worst about people who are quiet. We may think they’re stuck-up or cold if they don’t bubble over with pleasantries or personal details about their life.

Many introverts simply don’t feel comfortable sharing intimate information about themselves until they know someone well. When it comes to someone new, introverts like to spend time observing and figuring out what makes the other person tick before they let their full personality out.

12. Coming across as blunt or cranky

Yes, this person might actually be mean or high strung. But this person might also be an introvert who’s simply out of “people” energy.

When an introvert is suffering from social burnout (a.k.a. an introvert hangover), it gets harder for them to regulate their tone of voice or even think clearly. Every little thing starts getting on their nerves, and they may even feel physically unwell. An introvert hangover feels like being completely wiped out after running a marathon.

13. Needing more “recovery time” than others

Introverts can go out and have fun too, just like extroverts. But when extroverts are ready to go out again the next day, introverts are in desperate need of some recovery time. They can’t go-go-go all the time.

If someone wants to stay home after a busy day at work or a “fun” night out, you’re probably not dealing with a killjoy — you’re dealing with an introvert.

You might like:

  • 8 Confessions of an Introvert Living in a World Made for Extroverts
  • 25 Illustrations That Perfectly Capture the Joy of Living Alone as an Introvert
  • Yes, You’re Becoming More Introverted With Age — and That’s a Good Thing
  • Why Introverts Absolutely Loathe Talking on the Phone
  • 13 ‘Rules’ for Being Friends With an Introvert

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who is this and how to determine? Introversion test

Society tends to label and label everyone who is different from the generally accepted “golden mean”. If an athlete - then stupid, if a candidate of science - then a "nerd", if an introvert - then a misanthrope (hates people). But is it? Who are introverts? Is it bad to have this type of personality? How to find out your psychotype, introvert or extrovert? What to do if you or your environment are introverts? Before you "go into yourself", read this article. nine0003

What is an introvert?

An introvert is a person immersed in his inner world, distinguished by a greater focus on his own experiences and thoughts. It is more difficult for him than for an extrovert to establish social ties, to establish contacts with the outside world.

But not everything is so simple . Do not confuse introverts with lazy people or misanthropes. After all, laziness is an unwillingness to do something, misanthropy is antisocial behavior, but introversion is a feature of human thinking. Therefore, if someone says - " I'm an introvert ”, we still need to figure out if this is so. Perhaps it is simply more convenient for him to “hide behind” such a word, actually shirking work or responsibility.

Take the test: introvert or extrovert

A true introvert is far from being a lazy person , his efforts are simply aimed at introspection, contemplation of the inner world. Such people very often become philosophers, inventors, scientists, writers, poets, which requires no less work than communication with others. nine0003

Introvert and extrovert.

Pure psychotypes are extremely rare. Most often, an introvert and an extrovert are combined in a person - this is due to heredity, through which the signs of parents are transmitted. At different ages, one or another psychotype is activated, which depends on the conditions of life and its rhythm.

For the first time, the existence of two opposite types of personality was noticed by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung , who developed the concept of analytical psychology. Thanks to his work, people learned who introverts and extroverts are. The personality of the former turned out to be directed “inward”, while the latter, on the contrary, focused on interaction with the outside world. In total, Jung deduced 8 psychotypes of personality. nine0003

Further research has only expanded our knowledge of introverts, highlighting several of their types. Studying psychotypes, the British scientist Hans Eysenck found that introverts are a collective concept, which, in turn, is divided into a number of types. They may be emotionally stable or unstable, corresponding to a phlegmatic or melancholic temperament .

Depending on whether a person is phlegmatic or melancholic, his introversion will manifest itself in different ways. In the first case, he will be detached from the outside world, and in the second, he will be distinguished by excessive vulnerability and worries. nine0003

Pronounced psychotypes are rare. Basically, both types of personality are combined, just in different periods they are not expressed in the same way. Sometimes one of the qualities develops more actively. To determine your personality type, and at the same time your temperament, you can:

Pass a temperament test

Signs of an introvert.

  1. Feels lonely even among people;
  2. Avoids crowds, noisy companies;
  3. Not in a hurry to make new acquaintances; nine0042
  4. If attached to a person, then for a long time;
  5. Knows how to make friends, is distinguished by fidelity;
  6. Prone to introspection, philosophical reflection;
  7. Prefers to listen rather than talk;
  8. Likes to fantasize;
  9. Carefully plans his actions in advance;
  10. Patient, able to control emotions;
  11. Differs in observation, attentive to details;
  12. Holds grudges, unpleasant memories for a long time.
    13. nine0065

    If the test results coincide with most of the listed signs, then it can be argued that the person is an introvert.

    What does it mean to be an introvert?

    Introverts, unlike extroverts, do not depend so much on the opinions of others . They have their own value system. They are able to set a goal and move towards it contrary to the opinions of others. And this is one of the criteria for leadership. Introverts are good at taking responsibility. They are very self sufficient. This type of personality is distinguished by perseverance, they concentrate better and are able to carefully prepare for the upcoming work. nine0003

    Some will immediately say that an introvert is a quiet, modest and shy person who is afraid to stick his nose out of the house, absolutely passive, inclined to obey others. One big minus. But is it really so? Imagine the surprise of those who find out that most of the famous leaders and outrageous artists of are introverts.

    For example, world famous introverts are Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Michael Jordan, Steven Spielberg, Keanu Reeves, Lady Gaga, Johnny Depp and many others. Of the historical figures, it is worth remembering Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln. nine0003

    If someone has already thought about how to become an introvert, you should not rush into a decision, because introverts are not without flaws. First of all, their minuses are connected with unwillingness to build social connections . Introverts can neglect the opinions of others, which sometimes plays a cruel joke with them. In addition, people with the psychotype "introvert" adapt worse to external changes, move up the career ladder more slowly, and it is more difficult for them to find friends. At the same time, introverts themselves are very reliable and good friends. nine0003

    Is it possible to become an introvert?

    Let's say some extrovert decided to "retrain" as an introvert. Is he capable of doing it? And most importantly, does he need it? What is an introvert through the eyes of another personality type? Most likely, for a classic extrovert, he will be closed, unsociable, boring.

    So why change your personality type, even if it were possible? An approximate train of thought of such a person is as follows. Most likely, he fails because of his superficiality and hyperactivity. He asks himself the question, why is this happening? Looking for answers on the Internet. Learn what an introvert and extrovert are. He understands that he belongs to the second psychotype. Gathers information to get to know the introvert personality type better. At some point it starts idealizes the introverted psychotype and tries to rebuild his temperament and personality.

    Is it worth it, and how great are his chances of becoming an introvert ? It is believed that temperament and psychotype are laid before birth. They depend on the anatomical and physiological characteristics of a person. That is, they can be corrected only in connection with fundamental changes in the body. Simple workouts or exercises will not change the type of personality.

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    Development of introversion.

    It is possible to develop the capacity for introversion. Like playing sports with different body types. Both an ectomorph (thin) and a mesomorph (strong man) can pump up, but it will be much more difficult for the first to do this. Also, an extrovert can become more thoughtful, scrupulous and assiduous, but an introvert will do it better.

    It is enough to choose those qualities of introverts that it is desirable to adopt, and then methodically practice in their development. Listen more than speak, analyze your life more often, plan actions, etc. Moreover, an introvert and an extrovert often coexist in one person, so it is realistic to develop the strengths of both psychotypes. It is much more difficult to unite a team in which there are introverts and extroverts. nine0003

    How to communicate with an introvert?

    Introverts, due to a special type of thinking, need to find their own approach. First of all, it should be remembered that an introvert is extremely jealous of his personal space. He is not ready to let everyone in there. Earning the trust of an introvert is a long and thorny path. But the result of such efforts will exceed all expectations, because introverts are faithful and reliable life partners.

    Secondly, it is desirable to choose words, to respect the inner world of an introvert. nine0009 They remember grievances for a long time , and if they are "hurt to the quick", then one "sorry" will not end the matter.

    Thirdly, introverts do not like turmoil and crowds of people, it is pointless to drag them to noisy parties, rallies and mass celebrations. If you are planning a meeting with an introvert, it is better to invite him to nature, to visit or a quiet secluded place, somewhere in a cozy place.

    These are tips for communicating with introverts. But what if you yourself are prone to introversion?

    Is it okay to be an introvert? nine0005

    First of all, an introvert is not a psychological deviation, but a special way of thinking. There is nothing bad in it. If you figure it out like this, then extroverts even more often get into unpleasant situations, due to their superficiality and energy. It is much worse when "language is ahead of thinking." In this calm people clearly win.

    So, if you belong to an introverted personality type, then you should not dramatize. It is better to analyze what exactly prevents you from achieving results and fix just that. If an introvert has developed creativity or logic skills, this is clearly not a disadvantage. The ability to plan is also useful anytime, anywhere. So they don't need to be corrected. But it is desirable to overcome excessive isolation and vulnerability.

    For a change , you can take the initiative in communicating with an interesting person. The first to write or call, invite for a walk. Even if a refusal follows, it’s not scary. It is much worse not to try if this call is actually expected. nine0003

    You should also be more willing to let others into your life. It is simply desirable to be prudent, but offending others with “closed doors” is not an option. After all, the world is full of good people, so it makes no sense to isolate yourself from them.

    The most important thing is not to get hung up on resentments, because many of them arise almost out of the blue. Sometimes a person offends someone by accident, not wanting it. What's the point of making a tragedy over a trifle? Even the most pronounced introvert is able to forgive . To do this, it is enough for him to switch to something good and just try not to remember unpleasant incidents.

    Thinking about who an introvert is, you can more and more often catch yourself thinking about the success of such a person. But every advantage has its price. In order for an introvert to be able to fully realize his potential, he needs to learn how to communicate with others, to forget the bad. And others should remember that any introvert is a rather vulnerable person, so it is advisable to respect him and his inner world. nine0003

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    Strong, not sissy: how to think about introverts - Ideonomics - Smart about the main thing

    Photo: Kyle Glenn / Unsplash

    Introverts and hypersensitive people are often blamed for self-centeredness, arrogance, laziness and excessive vulnerability. Many introverts take this personally, characterizing themselves negatively. Danish psychotherapist Ilse Sand, author of The Happiness Distance, changes these formulations to be more precise and positive. nine0012

    Outgoing but not sociable

    Some introverts and oversensitive individuals consider themselves unsociable. Of course, this is not so. They just do not see the difference between a sociable person and a lover of big companies. In the first case, you think about comfortable communication for yourself and the environment. In the second, you want to be in the company of people.

    Extroverts are more likely to prefer companies than introverts.

    Both are sociable in their own way. Introverts may not be interested in individuals, and extroverts sometimes forget that the interlocutors also want to say at least something. Two different approaches to basic interaction with people can be clearly traced here. nine0003

    According to Elaine Ayron, highly sensitive people generally like to talk. They often ask themselves, “If everyone did what I did, what would the world look like then?” - and usually come to the conclusion that the world would be much more beautiful. You can be a sociable person, but not like the company.

    Introspection rather than egocentrism

    Sometimes introverts and oversensitive individuals are considered selfish because they think too much about themselves.

    However, in reality they are engaged in self-digging. If someone from their environment feels uncomfortable, they immediately begin to blame themselves for this: “Is it because of me? How can I fix this? nine0003

    If all people were so critical of themselves, our world would avoid many wars and conflicts.

    Low pain threshold , not whining

    Many sensitive people are called sissies and forced to endure all hardships courageously. However, a person with a low pain threshold and a heightened nervous system feels cold or warm more strongly, so he cannot just sit back and pretend that nothing happened.

    Super sensitive not vulnerable

    We are often referred to as "vulnerable". Like someone hurt our feelings. Of course, we are impressionable, but within reason. In general, people are born with different sensitivities, which can change throughout life. However, one cannot go to one extreme or another. Each person is individual in his own way.

    Needing or saving energy rather than lazy

    Hyperactive people sometimes think we are lazy because of our slowness. However, in reality, we are saving energy or even recharging our “batteries”. nine0003

    A pacifist not an emotional impotent

    Some introverts and sensitive people have been advised more than once to let their anger out. However, our lack of conflict, with only rare exceptions, is explained by the fact that we do not know how to recognize our irritation and do not know how to throw it out. We prefer negotiations, adapting to the environment and not wanting to waste precious energy on senseless conflicts.

    Strong not a sissy

    Some people think we are too gentle. Personally, I quite often attribute this to myself. At such moments, I think of silk and butterflies. However, for some people, this concept is associated with weakness. If you agree with them, choose another definition for yourself that would describe you from the best side. For example, we adhere strictly to moral principles, are able to think deeply and outside the box, and have well-developed empathy.

    Reasonable rather than boring

    Sometimes we are called boring because we are often silent. This does not mean at all that we do not have our own opinion or that we have nothing to say. We prefer not to engage in a conversation if the speaker cannot be interrupted. In addition, we think in advance how useful our information will be to the interlocutor, ourselves or others. We don’t like to just chat, so we keep quiet if we doubt that people will like our speech. nine0003

    Lack of energy rather than pride or arrogance

    People consider us arrogant if we avoid associating with them. However, the thing is that we are often either overwhelmed or preoccupied with our own thoughts and plans, so at such moments we try to stay away from everyone.

    With limited energy supplies, we have to prioritize. To enjoy communication, we need to recharge our batteries, take a walk in the fresh air or do art to cheer ourselves up. nine0003

    We take everything seriously , but we don't go too far

    Many introverts and oversensitive individuals have been advised on many occasions to worry less about trifles.

    I myself take everything to heart, and sometimes even literally.

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