How to gain self respect back

Raising low self-esteem - NHS

We all have times when we lack confidence and do not feel good about ourselves.

But when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.

When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs.

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.

What causes low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Our teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves. 

For some reason, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you.

Perhaps you found it difficult to live up to other people's expectations of you, or to your own expectations.

Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a bereavement, can have a negative effect on self-esteem.

Personality can also play a part. Some people are just more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves.

How does low self-esteem affect us?

If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.

In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe.

In the longer term, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.

Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety.

You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping.

How to have healthy self-esteem

To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them.

You may tell yourself you're "too stupid" to apply for a new job, for example, or that "nobody cares" about you.

Start to note these negative thoughts and write them on a piece of paper or in a diary. Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts.

Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs, such as, "I'm really good at cryptic crosswords" or "My sister calls for a chat every week".

Write down other positive things about yourself, such as "I'm thoughtful" or "I'm a great cook" or "I'm someone that others trust".

Also write some good things that other people say about you.

Aim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you're OK.

You might have low confidence now because of what happened when you were growing up, but we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age.

Other ways to improve low self-esteem

Here are some other simple techniques that may help you feel better about yourself.

Recognise what you're good at 

We're all good at something, whether it's cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we're good at, which can help boost your mood.

Build positive relationships

If you find certain people tend to bring you down, try to spend less time with them, or tell them how you feel about their words or actions.

Try to build relationships with people who are positive and who appreciate you.

Be kind to yourself

Being kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical.

Think what you'd say to a friend in a similar situation. We often give far better advice to others than we do to ourselves.

Learn to be assertive

Being assertive is about respecting other people's opinions and needs, and expecting the same from them.

One trick is to look at other people who act assertively and copy what they do.

It's not about pretending you're someone you're not. It's picking up hints and tips from people you admire and letting the real you come out.

Start saying "no"

People with low self-esteem often feel they have to say yes to other people, even when they do not really want to.

The risk is that you become overburdened, resentful, angry and depressed.

For the most part, saying no does not upset relationships. It can be helpful to keep saying no, but in different ways, until they get the message.

Give yourself a challenge

We all feel nervous or afraid to do things at times. But people with healthy self-esteem do not let these feelings stop them trying new things or taking on challenges.

Set yourself a goal, such as joining an exercise class or going to a social occasion. Achieving your goals will help to increase your self-esteem.

Where to find help for low self-esteem

Talking therapies like counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help.

You can refer yourself for talking therapies on the NHS.

If you prefer, you can talk to a GP first and they can refer you.

You could also find a private therapist. Make sure they're registered with a professional body.

Audio: unhelpful thinking

In this audio guide, a doctor helps you to replace negative thoughts with more positive thinking.

Media last reviewed: 2 March 2021
Media review due: 2 March 2024

Visit healthtalk. org to hear young people talking about their experiences of low self-esteem.

Video: talking therapies for stress, anxiety and depression

Animated video explaining self-referral to talking therapies services for stress, anxiety or depression.

Media last reviewed: 14 March 2022
Media review due: 14 March 2025

What It Is, How to Achieve It, and Why It's Important

Self-respect is knowing you are worthy and treating yourself accordingly.

Respecting yourself is the first step toward understanding you deserve love, consideration, and opportunities like everyone else.

“Our level of self-respect acts almost like a blueprint to instruct others how to engage with us,” says Jaime Zuckerman, a licensed clinical psychologist in Philadelphia. “When we develop healthy reciprocal relationships, we find ourselves surrounded by those who respect us, support us, and treat us how we want to be treated.

Self-respect is loving yourself and treating yourself with care. It’s the result of staying true to your values and not being willing to compromise.

The more you engage in behaviors consistent with your beliefs and values, the more you’ll feel fulfilled and confident. This, in turn, will improve your sense of well-being, says Zuckerman.

Respecting yourself also prevents you from comparing yourself and your life with other people. This may be especially important in today’s digital world.

“Self-comparison is rampant on platforms such as Instagram and TikTok,” says Zuckerman. “When we have a low level of self-respect, we tend to engage in more social comparison, which makes us feel worse about ourselves, not good enough, and minimize our achievements.”

At its core, self-respect is a form of self-care.

“When someone has self-respect, they have accepted themselves and believe that they are deserving of belonging in the world,” says Divya Robin, a psychotherapist in New York City. “We are wired to want connection and a sense of belonging, so self-belonging and acceptance is incredibly important for psychological health, too.”

If you feel you need to work on caring more about yourself and showing more self-respect, these tips can help you take the first step.

1. Try to revisit your values

If self-respect means acting according to your values, the first step must be to clarify what your values are.

Values are firm beliefs about what’s important or desirable to you in life.

For example:

  • integrity
  • tolerance
  • loyalty
  • generosity
  • cooperation
  • wisdom
  • commitment

To define your core values, Zuckerman recommends asking yourself these two questions:

  • What do you value most in life?
  • Are your daily actions taking you closer or further away from the things you value most?

Once you do this first exercise, consider following up with the following reflections:

  • Who do you admire and why?
  • What are the things you’re not willing to compromise on in life?
  • What would you like to be known as?
  • What are some things you aspire to become as a person that you have not yet worked on?
  • What is important to you in a friendship?
  • What is important to you in a romantic relationship?
  • How do you think people with different views and experiences should be treated?

Try to work on these and similar questions by being honest with yourself. Consider leaving cultural or family expectations behind, so you can identify what matters to you.

2. Consider taking inventory of your relationships

You probably don’t live in isolation, even if you don’t have too many people around you.

Self-respect starts with the people you choose to have in your life and heart.

“Surround yourself with people who empower you to accept and embrace your authentic self,” says Robin.

Consider these questions:

  • Are the people you surround yourself with building you up?
  • Do your significant others support your dreams, opinions, lifestyle, and preferences?
  • Are you being treated by others as you wish to be treated?

“If not, it’s helpful to set boundaries in your relationships. Boundaries are used to let others know what you’re willing to accept and tolerate,” Zuckerman states.

3. Try to focus on activities you enjoy

Self-respect is also about life satisfaction, and that may start by spending time and effort on the things you’re passionate about.

Although this isn’t always possible, try to include a few activities in your routine that make your heart happy.

These activities can be related to your social life, school, or work.

Some of them could include:

  • starting a new hobby or reconnecting with one that used to make you happy
  • setting your professional goals and making 90-day plans that include specific tasks that will help you achieve them
  • reading a new book about personal growth, fiction, or career development
  • starting a blog, vlog, or personal journal
  • dancing, singing, or listening to your favorite beats
  • starting a new exercise routine
  • learning to cook
  • planning an event for the family
  • volunteering your time for a cause you’re passionate about

Doing things you’re good at, says Zuckerman, could also help you increase your sense of well-being.

4. Practicing self-care will help

Respecting yourself means taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically.

Self-care activities can include:

  • relaxation techniques to manage anxiety and stress
  • spending time in nature
  • connecting with your favorite people, even if virtually
  • revising your diet to make it fit your health needs
  • taking pauses to reset, rest, and recharge

5. Identify and nurture your needs

If self-respect is about taking care of yourself, it’s important that you identify what “care” means for you. What are your needs? What would make you feel fulfilled and satisfied?

“Check in with your needs on a daily basis, and instead of shaming yourself for having needs, nurture your needs,” Robin suggests.

It’s natural to feel apprehensive about spending too much time on yourself, especially if your responsibilities include taking care of others. But attending to your needs is essential to your well-being and can even prepare you to take better care of others if that’s a priority for you.

Self-esteem is about how much you love yourself. Self-respect is how you show that love to yourself. Usually, having strong self-esteem will motivate you to respect yourself more.

But self-esteem also tends to depend on your interactions with the world.

“Self-respect is not contingent on success or performance,” says Zuckerman. “It is more of an accepted, unchanging view of ourselves and our worth. Self-esteem, however, is based on our abilities and how well we think we can handle ourselves in a given situation.”

Respect is about value and acceptance, and esteem is about evaluation (of skills and abilities).

Self-respect is understanding and honoring your own needs. It’s knowing your worth and acting accordingly.

If you feel you can work more on your self-respect, consider identifying your values, setting boundaries, and nurturing your needs through self-care.

How to gain respect and how to get it back if you have lost it

What are relations within the family, work team and in any social group based on? Surely many of you, answering this question, will remember about respect and will be right. Respect is the foundation of human interaction. It is surprising that someone is valued by others on an instinctive level, without having a special title, title or position, and someone, even as a top manager and possessing impressive regalia, is forced to make a lot of efforts to achieve recognition from acquaintances, relatives or colleagues. nine0003

Respect is a fragile thing: it can be lost just as quickly as it can be gained by once committing a wrong deed or incorrectly expressing one's opinion. But even a difficult situation is fixable, the main thing is to take measures in time, because respect for a person is made up of his thoughts and actions.

How to gain respect and whether it is possible to return it, we will tell in our article.

What is respect and why is it important?

Respect is the highest manifestation of morality, the position of one person in relation to another, recognition of the merits of his personality. nine0003

Here are some strong arguments in favor of the importance of respect:

  1. Helps to define and respect a person's personal boundaries, including one's own.
  2. It is the basis of healthy self-esteem, gives rise to self-esteem, a sense of one's importance.
  3. Provides an opportunity to show such bright qualities as sympathy, care, kindness.
  4. Helps to adequately perceive criticism and dismissive attitude towards oneself. nine0020

Respect cannot be faked, otherwise the falsehood will always be exposed, and its consequences can be very serious. It is also impossible to force respect for someone, because respect arises when a person himself notices the merits of another and recognizes their significance.

Respect can be shown to:

  1. Self: self-respect is an understanding of one's own merits, personal boundaries and independence from others.
  2. Surrounding: it manifests itself at all levels of communication, whether it is interaction with the younger generation, peers or with older ones. Respect for others is manifested in tolerance for age, gender, religious beliefs, etc.
  3. Nature: is an expression of respect for all forms of life, respect for natural resources, awareness of one's responsibility for the state of the environment.
  4. Social norms: here we are talking about politeness in relation to the rules and traditions of society, corporate standards, compliance with internal culture, the ability to keep a distance in interpersonal interaction. nine0020
  5. Patriotic symbols: is a manifestation of respect for the anthem, coat of arms and flag, public holidays and values ​​of one's country [I. Trofimova, 2021].

Respect is a multifaceted concept. Many researchers believe that it is divided into two main types: respect as recognition of human rights, and respect as recognition and evaluation of the achievements of the individual.

The first type is close to caring, for example, we will not make noise if we see that someone else next to us is busy with a very important task that requires maximum concentration. It is also about respecting ethical standards and personal boundaries. The second type is about trust. For example, we can respect a colleague for his merit, i.e. we show confidence in his work and confidence that he performs his work with high quality. nine0003

In society, respect is manifested in the process of communication, in particular, in addressing you, in indicating the rank, titles. Although these norms are universally recognized, they are not always signs of real respect for a person. Respect is not so much about the verbal or physical manifestation of trust, admiration, kindness and care, but about the internal state when a person recognizes the rights and achievements of another person.

Each of us probably at least once in his life faced with the question of how to achieve respect in the team at work or the second half. The answer to this question lies in the golden rule of morality “Treat others as you would like to be treated”, i.e. Before demanding respect from others, start respecting yourself. Self-respect implies awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses, moral principles, values ​​and their protection [Sh. Akhundova, 2012]. And if you want to earn respect from others, you must first of all start with yourself. nine0003

How to learn to respect yourself?

The concept of self-esteem is made up of healthy self-esteem, mental and psychological health, love for one's own Self. Self-respect is formed in the process of life, starting from childhood: if someone constantly tells a child that he is not worthy of respect, most likely he will grow up as an insecure person and will in every possible way prove to everyone around that he deserves recognition and trust. In fact, the belief that respect must be earned is wrong. A person must respect himself unconditionally, on a par with love. nine0003

Dawson McAlister, radio host, speaker, and book author, suggests following these principles that he believes will help you start to feel better about yourself: ratings. It happens that a person in the formation of self-esteem relies on the opinions of other people. This approach is destructive, because it creates a dependence on external evaluations, which blocks the formation of self-esteem. nine0020

  • Don't talk bad about yourself. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but they are not determinants of personality. In moments when something went wrong, many tend to scold themselves out loud and remember their weaknesses, but do not forget that our brain is a system that, like a tape recorder, records our words and thoughts at the subconscious level. Over time, a person begins to believe in what he says and live with the understanding that he is no good for anything. Therefore, refrain from blaming yourself, but rather praise and remember your virtues more often. nine0020
  • Don't follow other people's opinions. These are situations where someone tells you how and what to do in an affirmative way. If a person knows well what he really wants from life, he will not succumb to unsolicited advice. And this is not about arrogance, when personal interests are put above others, but about a firm position and the ability to listen, first of all, to yourself when it comes to personal space.
  • Stick to your moral principles . Self-respect is easy to lose, one has only to commit a bad deed or one that contradicts one's own principles. There is a great saying about this: “If you think better about yourself, then you will act better. The better you act, the better you will think of yourself.”
  • Control your emotions. The manifestation of anger, resentment, anger can harm not only the one who experiences these feelings, but also others. Such emotions can destroy relationships, and this, of course, will affect self-esteem. nine0020
  • Expand your horizons. Self-esteem increases as a person improves his level of knowledge and skills. One who has many hobbies will always arouse the interest of others.
  • Take charge of your life. Each of us has an understanding of how to act correctly, but not everyone follows their ideas about life, avoiding responsibility or shifting it to someone else. Start with small steps: eat healthy, exercise, make it a habit to drink plenty of water throughout the day. Even small efforts that do not require any costs can increase self-esteem [D. Macalister, 2021]. nine0020

    It is impossible to be a happy person, to live in love and harmony and at the same time not respect and appreciate yourself. Of course, in every period of life there are circumstances that can undermine self-confidence and self-respect, but if you want to gain respect from others, you need to be able to be flexible, not succumb to outside influences and constantly find opportunities and reasons that would reinforce the feeling of your importance, needs and values ​​as a person.

    Respect is self-love, but it's not about selfishness, but about showing care, patience for yourself, expressed in what you think about, how you look, feel and what you do. Self-respect undermines doing something you don't love. It happens that a person is forced to go to work that he does not like, due to certain circumstances, it takes away his energy, health, there is an aversion not only to himself, but also to life. If you recognize yourself, then it's time to think about what can really give you pleasure and how you can make money on it. nine0003

    The environment plays a special role in the formation of self-esteem. Are there those in your social circle who are unpleasant to you, who take away your vitality? Try to minimize contact with such people and surround yourself with inspiring individuals who you want to follow.

    What about promises? How often did you give them to yourself and not fulfill them? Has it ever happened that you did not reach the goal, although you had all the opportunities and resources? Try to keep your word to yourself: each new peak reached and a promise kept will help you feel more confident and will be a great reason to start respecting yourself even more. nine0003

    Make it a point not to compare yourself to others, especially those who are doing better than you. Compare yourself to yourself yesterday, note what you have improved. And if someone is an example for you, analyze his qualities that helped him achieve the result, and continue to work on yourself [P. Kolesov, 2016].

    Try not to live in the past: insults, quarrels, unpleasant situations that happened once can haunt you like a shadow for a long time, blocking the light of the present and forcing you to experience negative emotions again, which greatly undermines your sense of self-worth. nine0003

    Amy Alcon, author of Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Courage and Confidence, believes that respect for others depends on the correct transmission of self-confidence, which is to fully accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses, in compassion to yourself and in healthy self-affirmation. A person tends to show sympathy for those to whom he is not indifferent, respectively, empathy and kindness towards himself indicates that he values ​​and loves himself [A. Alkon, 2020]. nine0003

    Self-respect is not an innate, but a formed attitude towards one's own Self. Its absence has certain reasons that need to be identified and worked out either independently or with a psychologist; the main thing, taking a step towards yourself, is to be sure that you will definitely achieve the desired result.

    When it comes to relationships

    Relationships between a man and a woman are a complex system in which mutual respect is indispensable. Sometimes it happens that in a couple one of the partners ceases to realize the value of their soulmate, but this does not mean that in this case the union is doomed to break. In the relationship literature and on the Internet, you can find a lot of advice on how to win back the love and respect of a wife or husband, but all of them are built on the important truth that this is a two-way process, not a one-sided game. nine0003

    First of all, it is important to point out to the partner a concern and make it clear that you can be relied upon. At the same time, it is necessary to mark the boundaries of common sense, not to allow a dismissive attitude and not to take the role of a victim.

    Experts in the field of psychology and philosophy are sure that you can return the love and respect of your soulmate as follows:

    1. Recognize that you cannot control the feelings and emotions of another person. The first thing you can do is change your own behavior. Don't blame your partner for losing respect for you. But here it is important to observe the fine line of what is permitted: if you are acting within the interests of your couple and are trying in every possible way to improve relations, and in return you receive insults, you should think about breaking the connection. nine0020
    2. Admit your mistakes and weaknesses. Even the one who always does the right thing is not immune from failure. If you've made a mistake, don't blame someone else or look for excuses, instead sincerely ask for forgiveness.
    3. Convince your partner that you are trustworthy. Show responsibility, keep promises and agreements, and be honest and frank if you understand that you will not be able to keep your word.
    4. Be open about your feelings. Most of the problems in relationships arise from the fact that there is no proper communication between partners. It is important to talk about your thoughts and emotions, because a person may not understand for himself that his behavior was considered disrespectful. Use the “I” statement (“I feel that…”) in the conversation to make it clear that you are aware of your emotions. Do not use accusatory phrases and generalizations (“You don’t pay attention to me anymore!” Etc.)
    5. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. nine0016 Instead of a generalized phrase "I'm fine" to the question "How are you?" answer in detail, speak frankly about the current state of affairs. This will help to strengthen the bond between the couple.
    6. Respect boundaries. If your significant other does something that you consider disrespectful to you (for example, reads the correspondence on the phone), tell her about it. Outline the consequences that may come if your boundaries are violated again, and be sure to keep your promise if there is a reason, otherwise the partner will not take your words seriously. nine0020

    Strong relationships are the result of the work of two parties. If one of the couple has undermined his authority in the eyes of the other, and at the same time the partner does not seek to meet halfway, understand the situation and improve relations, then all the efforts of the “guilty” will be in vain.

    It happens that, despite the desire to restore respect for his soulmate, the partner takes the position “Let him show me why I need to respect him.” This can only aggravate the situation, because someone who is in an unpleasant situation also needs help and support. nine0003

    If the question of how to regain respect in a relationship is relevant for you, we recommend that you consider the following options suggested by experts:

    1. Make a conscious decision to return your relationship to your significant other. Remember that although your feelings may depend on the behavior and words of your partner, but these are your feelings, which means that you can control them. Criticize not a person, but a specific act, for example, instead of “He is so inattentive to me!” say, "It makes me sad when he forgets things that are important to me." nine0020
    2. Use compassion meditation. This is an exercise that will help you understand your partner's feelings and become more empathetic even towards yourself. In moments of disappointment in a chosen one or chosen one, take a few minutes for yourself, focus on your inner feelings and just breathe.
    3. Write what you respect your soul mate for. If you paid attention to a person and wanted to create a couple with him, then there were reasons for this. Remember what you appreciate him or her for, write down these criteria, and from time to time remind yourself of them by rereading the list. nine0020
    4. Learn to hear and listen. This skill helps form healthy relationships. In a conversation with a partner, try to fully focus on what he says, and not on your emotions and reactions to what was said. Don't interrupt, and if you don't understand something, ask for clarification. This will show that you are interested in the conversation.
    5. Acknowledge your feelings. Even if your partner's reaction is incomprehensible to you, and you do not agree with his opinion, show that he has the right to express his feelings and emotions. Avoid phrases that show you are dismissive of his emotions, such as "You're exaggerating! There is no reason to be angry!” etc. nine0020
    6. Put yourself in the place of your significant other . Empathy helps you understand your partner. Before jumping to conclusions, think about what the person is currently experiencing, try to understand why he behaved in this way.
    7. Be mindful of personal boundaries. It is important to show by example the right attitude towards personal space. Instead of getting defensive when you feel uncomfortable about breaking personal boundaries, be open about what you don't like. If you do not understand where the boundaries of your partner are, you should also talk frankly about this [Wagner, M. Lorenz, 2020]. nine0020

    There is no universal answer to the question of how to restore the respect of a girl for a guy, a wife for her husband, or, conversely, a man for a woman. It all depends on what caused the decrease in the credit of trust to the partner. In addition, there are certain criteria that distinguish the concept of respect in relation to the weaker and stronger sex.

    A man, in order to achieve or regain respect for himself from his beloved, must show strong-willed qualities of character, namely, be emotionally restrained and be able to control the situation; generosity, determination, the ability to admit one's own mistakes and the rightness of other people, fortitude, responsiveness, the ability to give good advice to your soulmate, and not criticize her over trifles. nine0003

    These qualities and abilities are the basis of a respectful attitude towards a man, but surely the fair sex would add their own criteria to this list, because everyone has their own vision of who a real man is. According to psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, a real man is one who observes equality in relationships, and does not avoid responsibility, referring to the fact that his main mission is material support. Men worthy of respect, sensibly assess their strength and promise only what they can realistically fulfill [M. Labkovsky, 2022]. nine0003

    According to psychologists, women are able to turn their chosen ones into real knights if they show self-respect, speak openly about their feelings, avoid rude attitude from other people, demonstrate their independence and allow themselves and their significant other to devote time to themselves, defend their point of view, self-development and at the same time do not forget that men also love praise and care [A. Kuzmina, M. Golubev, 2021].

    About respect in the team

    Respect for colleagues and, in particular, superiors, does not come by itself. It is made up of effort and results. Moreover, the respectful attitude of the manager is what job seekers, once in the labor market, and employees of the company are most often looking for.

    According to Michael Watkins, chairman of Genesis Advisers, respect for a top manager comes in several stages, each of which requires an employee to adhere to the right tactics of behavior. Watkins recommends the following:

    1. Be clear about your responsibilities. It is important here to show that you are a professional in your field. Ask your manager what you need to learn and how to do it quickly. Your goal is to clearly understand your role and get on the same wavelength as your superior.
    2. Adapt. Stick to the type of communication that your manager prefers. These may be daily face-to-face meetings, or less frequently and in a different format. Find out in what form he is used to receiving information, whether it is important for him to go into details or whether he is a supporter of generalized phrases, etc. nine0020
    3. Show empathy. Respect is built on the realization that a person can be trusted. This principle also applies to business relationships. Determine how you can earn his trust, learn how to prioritize, and study the company's internal policies.
    4. Build relationships within the team. Ask your colleagues more often how you can be useful. Find out through employees how best to build relationships with superiors. nine0020
    5. Dissent . The relationship between a leader and a subordinate is a partnership in which it is impossible to do without conflicts. Say openly (but in private) that you do not like something, do not be afraid to admit that some task was beyond your strength.
    6. Collect feedback. Not all managers are inclined to recognize the achievements of an employee, but this does not mean that the employee should remain in the dark about what he needs to change in his activities and what he does well. Ask the manager directly about this [R. Knight, 2022]. nine0020

    Respect within the team is built not only on the internal, but also on the external component. Remember that the first impression is formed once and for all, and if you have to meet colleagues, you should take care of how you will look.

    To win the vocation, authority and trust of colleagues, whether you are an ordinary employee or a leader, psychologists recommend the following:

    1. Remember the names of employees and call them by name. nine0020
    2. Consider the little things: find out information about hobbies, marital status, etc. This will help to maintain a conversation and establish personal contact.
    3. Be polite: greet colleagues in the morning, don't forget to wish them a good meal or a great day.
    4. Rejoice in the success of others: envy is manifested by those who have not succeeded in anything. A strong and self-confident person will praise a colleague for excellent work and openly express his admiration.
    5. Accept criticism adequately: mistakes are growth areas. If you were pointed to them, then you have room to grow, and that's great! nine0020

    According to psychologists, the ability to ask for help also deserves respect. This quality is multifaceted: this is how a person shows that he is able to admit his weakness in something, appreciates time, because prefers to seek advice from a more experienced colleague, and not waste time looking for a way out of the situation on his own.

    There is an opinion that the classic idea of ​​gaining respect does not work in a women's team. Here you need to follow a special tactic. In particular, men should not support gossip, they need to build warm relationships with female leaders, by example of which the rest of the team will understand that they can be trusted. Women should avoid boasting, pay more attention to their professional skills and, if possible, not share the details of their personal lives. nine0003

    If for some reason you have lost trust in the team and do not know how to regain respect for yourself, then we have a few more tips for you :

    1. Talk openly about the problem with employees: show that you are concerned about this issue and offer several options for resolving the situation.
    2. Do not ignore the negative situation: if you leave what happened without attention, there is a high risk of gossip spreading.
    3. nine0019 Separate the true from the false: ill-wishers can take advantage of the situation and embellish what happened not in your favor.
    4. Keep a positive attitude even in the most difficult situation.

    It happens that the team is divided into two warring groups and this is a fine line when one wrong action can lose ground under one's feet. The best option that will help maintain and even increase the respect of colleagues is to take a neutral position [Commercial Director, 2020]. nine0003


    Respect is not a trick of nature, it is not born with it, but acquired in the process of life. Before looking for a magic pill that will help you gain respect in a business or personal relationship, you need to assess how much a person respects himself, loves and appreciates. Whenever we want to achieve something, we must start by working on ourselves, not on the outside world.

    Respect is brought up from childhood, the rules of decency and ethical standards are based on it. Respect for elders, human labor, and nature seems to be built into our DNA for most of us, although there are exceptions when you have to remind people what is good and what is bad, and show by example how to treat the benefits of humanity and the older generation. nine0003

    Respect for a specific person is another story. This is where daily work on yourself is important. Anyone who observes moral principles, keeps his word, takes a responsible approach to business, knows how to stand up for himself and his loved ones, constantly improves himself in his personal and professional sphere, and will always have respect from others.

    The skill of effective communication and the ability to find a common language with anyone and at any time also increases the value of a person in the eyes of others, especially when it comes to business interaction. Take a look at our online Best Communication Techniques program: in a few months of training, you will learn how to interact better with people, be flexible in your behavior, find an approach to each person, resolve conflicts and much more. nine0003

    Good luck and please answer one question on the topic:

    Key words:1Communication, 1Relationships

    How to learn to respect yourself | PSYCHOLOGIES

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    Know Yourself

    Agree: if we do not love and do not appreciate ourselves, then, willy-nilly, we begin to blame others for the pain we experience, and as a result we are overcome by anger, frustration and depression.

    But what does it mean to respect yourself? I love the definition that young Kathy gave: “It means accepting yourself for who you are and forgiving yourself for the mistakes you have made. It's not easy to come to this. But if you can eventually walk up to the mirror, look at yourself, smile and say, "I'm a good person!" “It’s such a wonderful feeling!” nine0003

    She's right: healthy self-esteem is based on the ability to see yourself in a positive way. Here are seven principles to help you feel better about yourself.

    1. Your self-image should not depend on other people's assessments

    Many of us form our self-image based on what others say. This leads to the development of real dependence - a person cannot feel normal without approving assessments.

    Such people seem to be saying, “Please love me, and then I can love myself. Accept me, and then I can accept myself." They will always lack self-respect, as they cannot free themselves from the influence of other people. nine0003

    2. Don't talk bad about yourself

    Your mistakes and weaknesses do not define you as a person. The more you say to yourself: "I'm a loser, no one loves me, I hate myself!" - the more you believe these words. Conversely, the more often you say: “I deserve love and respect,” the more you begin to feel worthy of this person.

    Try to think more often about your strengths, about what you can give to others.

    3. Don't let others tell you what to do and be

    It's not about the arrogant "my interests above all", but about not letting others tell you how to think and what to do. To do this, you need to know yourself well: your strengths and weaknesses, emotions and aspirations.

    Do not adapt to the desires and demands of others, do not try to change just to please someone. This behavior has nothing to do with self-respect.

    4. Be true to your moral principles

    Many do not respect themselves because they once committed unseemly acts and compromised moral principles. There is a good saying about this: “If you start thinking better about yourself, then you will act better. And the better you act, the better you will think of yourself.” And this is true. nine0003

    The converse is also true. Think badly about yourself - and behave accordingly.

    5. Learn to control your emotions

    Self-respect implies that we can control our emotions so as not to harm ourselves and others. If you uncontrollably show anger or resentment, then you put yourself in an awkward position, and possibly destroy relationships with others, and this inevitably reduces your self-esteem.

    6. Expand your horizons

    Look around: many people live in their little world, believing that no one needs their thoughts and knowledge. They consider themselves narrow-minded and prefer to keep quiet. How you think you are is how you act. This rule always works. nine0003

    Try to diversify your interests, learn new things. By deepening your knowledge of the world, you develop your thinking abilities and become an interesting conversationalist for a variety of people.

    Life is full of possibilities - explore them!

    7. Take Responsibility for Your Life

    Each of us has our own idea of ​​what is right for us, but we do not always follow it. Start small: stop overeating, switch to healthy food, drink more water. I guarantee that even these small efforts will definitely increase your self-esteem. nine0003

    About the Author

    Dawson McAllister is a radio host, motivational speaker, and author. He maintains the blog The Hope Line.

    Learn more