Am i ready to move in with my boyfriend
Moving In Together - 14 Signs You’re Ready To Live With A Partner
So you think it's time to shack up with your S.O. Congrats! Whether it’s your first go at the cohabiting thing or you’ve done it before, no one has to tell you moving in together a pretty big deal. And not just because you’re going to have figure out how to split your closet space.
"For most people, the decision to cohabit isn’t based out of convenience," says Maryanne Comaroto, PhD, a relationship expert and dating coach in the San Francisco Bay area. "There’s an ingrained idea that they’re moving toward a greater commitment, including marriage.”
Many couples see moving in together as a "test drive" in order to avoid divorce down the road. But research on whether that works is mixed: One study found that divorce risk declines after cohabiting; a 2018 review determined that couples who lived together before marriage had a lower divorce rate in their first year as newlyweds but we're more likely to call it quits after five years.
That said, statistics shouldn’t drive your decision. To make the best one, there are a few honest convos you should be having with your partner—and yourself—to decode your compatibility and goals.
If these 14 signs apply to you, you’re ready to take the plunge—if, ya know, you want to deal with that whole closet-sharing thing.
1. You know that you're exclusive.
Surprise! This isn’t a given just because you’ve decided to shack up. Ideally, you've had this "what are we?" chat well before the sexy lease talk (ha) came up, but uncomfortable talks can easily get missed when a relationship is grooving along smoothly.
“Be clear about whether you are exclusive and what you’re calling yourselves—and what that means,” says Comaroto.
When it comes to moving in, people often make “logical excuses for an emotional decision,” says Krystal White, PhD, a psychologist specializing in love and leadership, author of The Letter Code: Deciphering Why You Love the Way You Love, and founder of the Executive Shaman podcast.
About that sleep thing...
- The 8 Best Sleep Positions For Couples
Meaning: You tell yourself it’s because you two are always sleeping over each other's place anyway or your lease is about to be up—the decision only makes sense! But instead, focus on the emotional motivations you want to move in with your partner.
(Like: "I want to come home to them after work every night," or "I want to make sure we can get through daily stresses together.")
3. You’ve had the “future” talk.
While many couples see living together as a step toward tying the knot, not everyone does, and it doesn’t help to make assumptions about what they’re thinking.
“You and your person don’t need to be on the same page about what cohabiting might lead to, but you do need to know what page the other is on—and be okay with it,” says White.
Moving in together? Don't forget birth control...(trust):
4. You’re not hoping the move will change your partner.
It’s obvious that cohabiting is a pretty big step. This calls for a gut-check: Are you hoping that by living together he’ll finally be a better communicator? Or she’ll now be motivated to figure out her career?
If your rationale has more to do with what you want from them than what you want for your bond, it may be a sign that you’re not ready, says Comaroto.
5. You’ve already had a blow-up fight.
Fighting is a natural and normal part of being one half of a couple.
Having some, uh, disagreements under the rug before moving in is a good thing: You need to have an understanding of each other’s stress responses and coping strategies, says Comaroto, so you can resolve issues as they come up.
She has a cute name for this: “rupture and repair.” If you know how you two rupture (argue) and repair (reconcile)—and are happy with your problem-solving skills as a duo—you’re good to go.
6. You know your space needs.
This isn’t about stuff, but rather the space you need physically, says White. People typically fall into one of three categories, she says:
- You need your own work and play space
- You don’t need your space (you’re happy to share)
- You like to change up your space (as in, you can share it but need to be able to change it without having to ask permission)
Knowing your and their needs and how/if they could work together is so important before throwing down that security deposit.
7. You know your “uppers” and “downers.”
You’ve identified three things that give you energy (having dinner made for you, getting up together for a Saturday morning run) and three things that steal your energy (coming home to find an unexpected guest), your partner has done the same, and you’ve shared this info with each other.
It’s a nice—not to mention, easy!—exercise White recommends to couples so that they can meet each other’s needs (which may sound like mere wants).
8. You’re cool with a loss of independence.
There are a ton of perks to living with the right person, but you will be giving something up. Namely: a bit of freedom.
Speaking of independence...
- Are You In A Codependent Relationship?
“Cohabiting often means giving up some form of moving through the world independently,” says Comaroto.
Your partner will be pretty in tune with your comings and goings.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but you should know if that’s going to bug you…and if it does, maybe reconsider whether you're truly ready.
9. You know what you need in crisis.
You think you two spend all your time together, but it’s a whole new experience when you really can’t run away to your own place if you need it. So here’s where “emotional space” comes in.
“Think about what you need after a bad day,” says White. Do you need time together? Do you want to cool off alone and then hang out? Do you want to talk it through and get advice from the other person?
You and your partner can have completely different answers, but you should know where you both stand—ideally well before you're sharing a roof.
10.
You know their credit score (or the likes). “If you’re having sex with someone, you should be able to comfortably discuss finances. If not, pause and think about that,” says Comaroto.
Harsh. Well, not really: Money can be a tough topic, but it’s a reasonable request (especially when there's, ya know, a contract on the line).
Ooh, on that note...
- Money Issues You Should Resolve Before Marriage
If your partner balks at your need for transparency or acts like they have something to hide, perhaps consider a more honest roommate (sorry).
11. You’re approaching it like a work project.
Have you two sat down, drawn up a list of responsibilities (cleaning, cooking, dog walking, budgeting), and talked through what to-do’s you’ll each take on?
“Approach it with the mentality of, ‘How are we going to tackle this project together?’” says Comaroto.
If you don't think of things that way, you run the risk of a tit-for-tat scenario, where you’re both tallying up how much more you do than the other person. And it won’t be pretty.
12. You know each other’s boundaries.
Is your partner aware that you will absolutely freak out if he leaves his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor? Do you know that her tipping point is when you don’t refill the water filter in the fridge?
In case you're wondering...
- Here's How To Set Boundaries In Your Relationship
Some of these things you may not learn until you live with someone, but you should have a good idea of what sets them off. (Straight-up ask.)
13. Your gut says this is right.
That deep intuition you have? Yeah, listen to it—even if you don't like what it's saying.
Some couples move in together when one wants to keep a closer eye on the relationship. “They feel like if they are in closer proximity, their partner won’t lie or cheat on them,” says Comaroto. If you sense that from your mate, sit on your decision.
On the flip side, if that little voice tells you that you're ready to move in together with this particular person and it's going to be amazing, by all means, go for it.
14. You’ve tried to talk yourself out of it.
When you want something, it’s all too easy to focus only on the positive in order to justify taking the big leap.
So try this helpful exercise: Identify a negative consequence of cohabiting, says White.
If you come up dry and can't make a solid case for why you shouldn’t move forward, then that may be all the reason you need to find your personal little love shack.
Jessica Migala
Jessica Migala is a health writer specializing in general wellness, fitness, nutrition, and skincare, with work published in Women’s Health, Glamour, Health, Men’s Health, and more. She is based in the Chicago suburbs and is a mom to two little boys and rambunctious rescue pup.
18 Signs You’re Ready to Move In Together
Relationships
Consider this your official checklist to see if you're ready to take the next step and cohabit.
By Meredith Turits
Courtesy of Warner Bros. Television
Tired of putting on a hazmat suit every time you brave the corona commute to your significant other’s house? Well, one solution is to move in with them. Cooking, shopping, and cleaning for two is time-efficient and can save you money, but it can also put serious stress on a relationship—especially during a pandemic when spending time with other friends is harder than ever.
One thing’s certain: You do not want to end up in a situation where you go through all the effort, expense, and risk of finding a place together just to realize it was the wrong thing to do and have to move all over again, or worse, break up. To make sure your relationship is ready for this step, read through our checklist of all the conversations you should have and milestones to hit with your significant other before you reserve the U-Haul.
Copyright © ©Lifetime Television/Courtesy Everett Co / Everett Collection
You’ve agreed on a budget.
Who doesn’t love Zillow stalking, drooling over your dream home? But when it comes time to find new digs—especially with your partner—you have to burst the fantasy bubble. Before you start going to open houses, it’s important to have an honest conversation about your price range, and how much you’re willing to spend on rent (or a mortgage). It’s the only way to manage your partner’s expectations.
©Bravo TV/Courtesy Everett Collection
You’re not doing it just to save money.
Sure, moving in together knocks one rent out of the equation and condenses two sets of utility bills, but the end of your lease doesn’t automatically equal move-in time. Jessica Massa, author of The Gaggle: How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want, warns, “You have to say with 100% confidence that moving in together has nothing to do with your finances.”
Courtesy Everett Collection
You’ve already practiced cohabiting.
Are you spending four or five nights a week together (hopefully without too much midweek back-and-forth, to stay pandemic safe)? Good, says Amy Laurent, who wrote 8 Weeks to Everlasting: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting (and Keeping!) the Guy You Want. “You should be getting a sense of what it’s like to be waking up to your partner every day before you move in together.” If you’re thinking about merging your living spaces but haven’t done a trial run yet, Laurent suggests giving it a go, especially if you’re used to spending only a night or two together now.
Fox / courtesy Everett Collection
Your schedules are compatible.
Playing loud music late at night when your romantic roommate needs to be up early in the morning is a relationship killer. And now that many people are working from home, there are so many more aspects of scheduling to think about. If you’re both on Zoom calls all day long, you need to be able to share the room with the good lighting. And loudly doing the laundry or cooking while the other person tries to meditate won’t work. If you are your partner have wildly divergent schedules, or lifestyles, try making a shared calendar. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. It’s your home too.
kupicoo
You regularly talk about your finances.
Money is one of the last great taboos. But when you’re living with someone and sharing the cost of living with them, it’s important to get into the habit of discussing your finances. Try casually working it into your dinner table conversation, or folding the money talk into your regular weightier discussions.
More from Glamour
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You know how you’ll split rent.
Chances are you’re not making the exact same salary as your partner. So how does that impact how you’ll pay rent? While that’s important to figure out, as Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, the author of Breaking Money Silence told The Cut, it doesn’t need to be set in stone—especially considering income or job status changes. “Each couple needs to check in and see what feels right at various points in time,” she says. “A lot of people think that if you decide on a strategy, you have to commit to it for the rest of your relationship. Instead, think of it as, ‘Okay, new job, new situation, we’ve just come out of a tough patch. Let’s try out this arrangement for a few months and see what it feels like.’”
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Caiaimage/Paul Bradbury
You have a plan for sharing expenses.
So you’ve got your rent situation down, but what about utilities? Maybe your partner takes much longer showers, or sleeps with the television on—racking up large water and electric bills.
Or you have totally different tastes in food and what you’d like to stock the fridge with. Before this causes a fight, come up with a game plan for how you’ll divvy up expenses. When you first move in, you might agree to a 50-50 split with plans to check in in three months or to split things proportionally to your income. Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images
You’ve successfully taken a trip together.
Laurent says the intensive time of taking a vacation as a couple is like a mini living-together opportunity. Her test: Have you gone away for a week or two and spent 100% of the time together—and actually enjoyed it? “If you haven’t traveled together, you don’t necessarily know each other’s habits,” she says. Since taking a trip isn’t really in the cards right now, try spending a couple weeks at just one of your places, like a test-run of permanent cohabitation.
Motortion
You can deal with each other’s mess.
Guess what? Living with a messy person won’t make a tidy person messier, and living with a tidy person won’t make a messy person tidier.
You’ll just annoy each other. That is, unless you decide to make compromises and accept each other’s levels of organization and cleanliness. It’s an ongoing, and often annoying, conversation, but it has to happen. And it’s especially important during the pandemic to make sure you have at least compatible safety standards. Do all dirty masks go straight in the hamper, or are you leaving them on the couch? You need a plan.Columbia/courtesy Everett Collection
You share the chores.
As part of the previously mentioned “mess conversation,” how are other housekeeping things getting done? Some people expect their partner to deal with checking and sorting the mail, unloading the dishwasher, doing all the laundry, checking the expiration dates on food. Some people like things done a specific way and get angry when their routines are changed. It doesn’t have to be a perfect 50-50 split on every task, but everyone should be pitching in and should feel their contributions are valued.
That way everything gets done without anyone’s feelings being hurt.
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You know the rules of social media.
Knowing what’s kosher to post online is part of any modern-day relationship, but it’s doubly important once you start living together. Some people may not want their home all over Instagram, whether for safety or privacy reasons. Other people like to tweet every funny thing their partner says, and when you live together, you hear it all. Be clear about your boundaries and respectful of the other person’s choices.
©Sony Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection
You don’t have any financial secrets.
There’s a lot you might not know about your partner. Do they have student loans? Credit card debt? Bad spending habits? While these things might seem personal, when you’re living together and splitting costs, they can affect your financial standing as well—so it’s important to put them out in the open.
“Put all your debt on the table—student loans, credit card debt, personal loans, auto loans, items in collections—everything needs to be discussed,” Pamela Capalad, founder of Brunch & Budget, told Insider. “If you’re getting an apartment together, you’re going to find out what each other’s credit scores are, so no need for unnecessary surprises.”Morsa Images
You’ve already survived a huge fight.
Remember the fight you thought was going to end your relationship? Turns out the fact that you and your partner successfully survived the Big Blowout of 2020 makes you more ready to share a place. Laurent says knowing how to recover from a huge disagreement is essential for a couple to take the next step: “You’re going to need those tools when you move in full-time.”
More from Glamour
©Warner Bros/Courtesy Everett Collection
You’re on the same page about pets.
Will your cat be allowed free rein to scratch up the furniture? Will your partner be rescuing dogs and letting them onto the bed? Who is in charge of picking up poop and paying for vet costs? If one of you is bringing a pet into a shared home, you need to know whose responsibility the animal will be, especially if you think you might get another while you’re together.
And painful as it is to imagine, you should probably have a plan for who gets custody if you break up. Exes have been known to hold animals hostage when things turn nasty, and you don’t want your beloved parakeet subjected to that!
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Odeon Films/courtesy Everett Collection
You don’t ignore your relationship problems.
The time you’re spending together already can be a good barometer for whether you’re ready to share space permanently. Massa says to look at the conflicts you and your partner have: Are the same issues coming up? If they are and no one is working on them, that’s a bad sign. “Once you get in the space, you’re on top of each other, and the problems just explode,” she says. “If you see that both of you are trying to make progress, that’s one thing, but if you’re living together, they’re only going to get a million times worse.”
Caiaimage/Paul Bradbury
You’ve discussed your future.
Laurent says the biggest mistake couples make before moving in together is not talking about what moving in together actually means. “Say, ‘Let’s sit down and discuss why we’re moving in together. What’'s the next step? Why are we now taking the time to move in together?’ That's when both people are communicating this is the next step,” she says.
Courtesy Everett Collection
You don’t feel like you’re rushing into it.
If you feel pressure to move in from anyone (your parents, your friends, your partner—even yourself), you may not be ready. “Anytime there’s a big, uncomfortable question mark, figure out how to take some time and make it work,” says Massa. She suggests finding an alternative, such as waiting a year or compromising by moving closer to each other. “If it’s even a question, just wait.” We’re all extra lonely right now, but you should take this step because it’s right, not because you’re scared about the pandemic.
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You have an exit strategy.
Unfortunately, not all relationships stand the test of the time. But if you break up, that doesn’t mean your finances also have to take a hit. When you move in together, be up-front about what will happen if things don’t work out. Maybe one of you will stay in the house or apartment, or you’ll put money aside in case you need to break the lease. It’s not romantic, but it’s important.
Topicsmoneyrelationshipsmoving in together
Read MoreHELP ME! Should I move to my man in another country or not?
#1
on the other hand, you have friends here, parents, familiar surroundings, and there you will be alone, only him, do you know his friends? live there on vacation for a couple of weeks, appreciate life (or you will get bored)
Malvina
666 plate Malvina plate Malvina Guest That's who drove such nonsense into the heads of women, huh? Well, not otherwise than those men who need dependent wives without education.
I am against the advice and intervention of parents, but in this case they are right. Read the most discussed threads: "I'm 33, and I'm out of sex relationships", "It's easier to win a million than to meet a normal man." hundreds of thousands of women are lonely and suffer from it. You can always have time to get an education, and it’s better to create a family when you are young, such women suffer .. hmm .. I agree, it’s mainly about them, BUT! if there is a choice between study or family, it is better to choose the second. and then, in our age of high technology, you can study remotely, but where is the family here? He didn’t even propose marriage, he proposed, it was the author who refused in the next three years))
#20
#21
Malvinatalamalvinarmal -Malvinago Swinago, who drove into the heads of women like nonsense, and? Well, not otherwise than those men who need dependent wives without education.
I am against the advice and intervention of parents, but in this case they are right. Read the most discussed threads: "I'm 33, and I'm out of sex relationships", "It's easier to win a million than to meet a normal man." hundreds of thousands of women are lonely and suffer from it. You can always have time to get an education, and it’s better to create a family when you are young, such women suffer .. hmm .. I agree, it’s mainly about them, BUT! if there is a choice between study or family, it is better to choose the second. and then, in our age of high technology, you can study remotely, but where is the family here? He didn’t even propose to marry, he proposed, it was the author who refused in the next three years)) he didn’t propose, but began to speak ... :) And he suggested that she apply for a slave visa. :)
#22
Cloud in a skirt
Author, if you want to move, it's better as a wife.
You can quickly get permanent residence with all the benefits and protections that this status gives. And go to health at the session yourself. And with a work visa, you, by no means a super-demanded professional, will get nothing: no real prospects for the future in terms of status, no protection in case your relationship "goes off track." Note, I usually think that the stamp in the passport is stupid. But immigration changes the rules of the game, here official marriage is a real step towards permanent legalization.
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#23
Malvina
GuestMalvinaGuest Who drove such nonsense into the heads of women, huh? Well, not otherwise than those men who need dependent wives without education.
I am against the advice and intervention of parents, but in this case they are right. Read the most discussed threads: "I'm 33, and I'm out of sex relationships", "It's easier to win a million than to meet a normal man." hundreds of thousands of women are lonely and suffer from it. You can always get an education in time, and it’s better to create a family when you are young. What topics in FIG?))) What are you, really? Well, since you insist so much, let's also read the topics about how I left the institute, got married without education, and my husband fell out of love, divorced, left alone with a child, and now they won’t hire me anywhere.)) Or another topic about that , how the husband took away the children from the disenfranchised wife of a foreigner. So why set yourself up for negativity? I do not urge the author to sit at home, she can study. especially since the age of the man is very cool - still young, but already serious, with a certain base, experience
#24
Malvina
plate Malvina plate Malvinata relko Malvina Guest That's who drove such nonsense into the heads of women, huh? Well, not otherwise than those men who need dependent wives without education.
I am against the advice and intervention of parents, but in this case they are right. Read the most discussed threads: "I'm 33, and I'm out of sex relationships", "It's easier to win a million than to meet a normal man." hundreds of thousands of women are lonely and suffer from it. You can always have time to get an education, and it’s better to create a family when you are young, such women suffer .. hmm .. I agree, it’s mainly about them, BUT! if there is a choice between study or family, it is better to choose the second. and then, in our age of high technology, you can study remotely, but where is the family here? He didn’t even propose to marry, he proposed, it was the author who refused in the next three years)) he didn’t propose, but began to speak ... :) And he suggested that she apply for a slave visa. :) Well, he started talking. the author immediately chopped off the encroachments. Naturally, he did not continue0005
#25
Guest
MalvinaGuestMalvinaGuest That's who drove such nonsense into the heads of women, huh? Well, not otherwise than those men who need dependent wives without education.
I am against the advice and intervention of parents, but in this case they are right. Read the most discussed threads: "I'm 33, and I'm out of sex relationships", "It's easier to win a million than to meet a normal man." hundreds of thousands of women are lonely and suffer from it. You can always get an education in time, and it’s better to create a family when you are young. What topics in FIG?))) What are you, really? Well, since you insist so much, let's also read the topics about how I left the institute, got married without education, and my husband fell out of love, divorced, left alone with a child, and now they won’t hire me anywhere.)) Or another topic about that , how the husband took away the children from the disenfranchised wife of a foreigner. So why set yourself up for negativity? I do not urge the author to sit at home, she can study. especially since the age of a man is very cool - still young, but already serious, with a certain base, experience, and of course it is better for positive.
And then, at the broken trough, to tear the hair on the head, that there was such a fool)))
#26
Guest
leave to live in a country where you don't even know the language, just because of love alone? Plus, my parents (I live with my parents) will definitely be against it.
PS. I would move. Love is a serious reason for change in life. If she is, of course, love.
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#27
#28
Malvinatalamalvinatalykomal ivinata ivinago crap, huh? Well, not otherwise than those men who need dependent wives without education.
I am against the advice and intervention of parents, but in this case they are right. Read the most discussed threads: "I'm 33, and I'm out of sex relationships", "It's easier to win a million than to meet a normal man." hundreds of thousands of women are lonely and suffer from it. You can always have time to get an education, and it’s better to create a family when you are young, such women suffer .. hmm .. I agree, it’s mainly about them, BUT! if there is a choice between study or family, it is better to choose the second.
and then, in our age of high technology, you can study remotely, but where is the family here? He didn’t even propose to marry, he proposed, it was the author who refused in the next three years)) he didn’t propose, but began to speak ... :) And he suggested that she apply for a slave visa. :) Well, he started talking. the author immediately chopped off the encroachments. Naturally, he didn't continue, huh.. such a cutie.. As we are talking about marriage, so he fell silent. And what about regular sex, so let's insist))
#29
Malvina
I understand that he is a man - my dream, I love him, Austria - a country in which I want to live for a very long time, and everything looks like so good.. - so what keeps you then??))))
#30
plate
and he doesn't want to get married?
#31
Malvina
She can study remotely.
Well, not otherwise than those men who need dependent wives without education.
I am against the advice and intervention of parents, but in this case they are right. Read the most discussed threads: "I'm 33, and I'm out of sex relationships", "It's easier to win a million than to meet a normal man." hundreds of thousands of women are lonely and suffer from it. You can always have time to get an education, and it’s better to create a family when you are young, such women suffer .. hmm .. I agree, it’s mainly about them, BUT! if there is a choice between study or family, it is better to choose the second. and then, in our age of high technology, you can study remotely, but where is the family here? He didn’t even propose to marry, he proposed, it was the author who refused in the next three years)) he didn’t propose, but began to speak ... :) And he suggested that she apply for a slave visa. :) Well, he started talking. the author immediately chopped off the encroachments. Naturally, he didn't continue, huh.
. such a cutie.. As we are talking about marriage, so he fell silent. And as for regular sex, so let's insist)) you are somehow negatively disposed. there is a bitter experience when a man deceived, probably ((but this is not the case for everyone! 911 October 2013 And if it starts to push you, then it's not clean. October 11, 2013 11 October 2013 You are not the first, you are not the last.
PS. I would move. Love is a serious reason for change in life. If she is, of course, love.
#36
Malvina
Why is it unclean? Do you deny a man the right to fall in love and lose his head? This often happens to them, believe me, especially if the girl is so young))
Even commenting is ridiculous)
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#37
#38
Guest
))))))))
Even commenting funny)
#39
#40
plate
guest)))))))
even comment on funny) +1
#41
#42
Malvina
plateGuest)))))))))
Even commenting is ridiculous) +1 that is, men have never fallen in love with you? didn't you go crazy?
#43
plate
I'm sitting here with education and work and I'm thinking whether to move to my beloved in Munich.
It’s good for everyone, but my work for the family in Germany doesn’t roll, I’ll have to retrain.
#44
plate
MalvinatatarkoGuest)))))))))
Even commenting is ridiculous) +1 that is, men have never fallen in love with you? Were you crazy about you? Are you also 19 years old?
#45
plate
well, she won't get permanent residence quickly, of course, but it's better than a slave visa. On the other hand, if the boy is determined to try, then he will also quickly send her home in case of something..
#46
Or break up.
Don't you think that a man at the age of 29 is able to live for several months, from meeting to meeting, without sex? 11 October 2013 The old specialty will not go away from you)
#48
plate
Zargana Love is a serious reason for changes in life.
If she is, of course, love.
did you have unfinished studies at a good university?
It's all about priorities. If in doubt, let the Author finish his studies. Hope the long distance relationship doesn't fizzle out.
#49
plate
is gone. I'm not a high school math teacher. I am a field engineer, technologies become obsolete every day, the company spends tens of thousands of dollars on my training alone.
#50
plate
and where is the office. proposal and fiance visa?
Who among you moved to another city for your husband/boyfriend, we need your advice!
#1
#2
#4
It's up to you to decide whether to go to this city or not, whether there is even an opportunity to get a normal job there. And let's say you break up - you'll come back? or stay there?
If everything is serious and you are going to get married, then it is not clear how if there is no money. And if it's not serious, then why such sacrifices..
Which of you will drive for 6 hours on your weekends? do you have any idea what it is?
#5
#6
#6
The guy understands what he is offering you to make life worse for him? in my opinion no. All responsibility is on you, and he immediately indicated that you should not rely on him.
#7
#8
IRA
And then you will look for work for two months, I will not feed you.
it is not allowed to move to such and to the neighboring street.
#9,0005
#10
#12
#13
#14
Even if he agrees to marry, no need to marry do this I think.
Marriage should not be a sacrifice on his part. Then, at every quarrel, he will declare to you that you married him to yourself. There is little to enjoy here. so it's better not to get married.
#15
I moved to Moscow for my MCH, after a couple of years it turned out that he was not ready for a family. The question arose to return, I missed a lot there. In general, I got a good job here, but for me it was a step to catch on here.
#16
This is a good option. And if he immediately refuses, or I don’t know, or I need to think, he doesn’t need you and he doesn’t care who to hang around with. He does not value you - you can even walk for 5 years, but he does not care.
The main thing is not to be afraid and speak confidently.
If he hums instead of answering, don't go anywhere! And you can already throw - well, as you want.
I personally did this, and 2 more of my friends. One refused, we are 2 married. At first I got agreement, then we figured out the date of the wedding, approximately, then he left and I went to him 3 times, he also visited me, then they applied in his already city, then I moved a week before the wedding and the wedding. They got married a year after the conversation.
He will most likely say a year before the wedding - don't worry, men are all brakes!) Well, at least 3 of my girlfriends and I said 'year'))).
I am writing in great detail, because I have never heard or seen any good advice. (even on the Internet) Thank you friend suggested.
If you talk like that, then as soon as a stone falls from your soul. There will be at least some certainty.
You should always be very strict with them and don't let him get off topic and take advantage of you! A kiss in response to a question doesn't count! ))) good luck! I think everything will work out)
#17
#18
I talked without tears, a girlfriend who advised me - who was married - with tears)
#20
Guest
and which city are you going to? Smaller or larger than yours?
#21
Guest
and how old are you and your boyfriend?
#22
Woman.
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11 November 2013, 11:01 am then completely contained and contains
#24
Guest
If he calls you with him, he must take responsibility for you.
Doesn't he earn a living for a piece of bread? What if you were on maternity leave? So think your life
my husband called me to his place and immediately said - move and calmly look for a job.
but it worked out very well for us, I found it before I moved.
#25
Guest
I would go only on the condition that after a certain time (a year or half a year) I would be his wife.
And so I sailed and in a strange city I threw it does not suit me.
But I doubted him for nothing, at first I made an offer, then I moved, and they got married six months later) 9November 11, 2013
Look for a job on Skype... smart!
did he find a lot of work via skype? I see he has an answer for everything, is he not a virgin by any chance?
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#28
Guest
I would go only if after a certain time (a year or half a year) I would be his wife.
And so I sailed and in a strange city I threw it does not suit me.
#29
#30
#32
+100000!!!!
about Skype interviews: normal practice, no problem.
You can, for greater certainty, "rehearse" with friends in order to be less worried at a real interview. Another thing, what for such a "groom" ??? it’s just a shame for women from time to time it becomes - as you read here, on the forum, all sorts of stories: (((My opinion: you don’t need to look for a job in another city, but a normal man! And it’s hard to move. I moved - not because of a man, I just wanted to change the metropolis to a clean green city.I really like it here, quite suddenly I met my current husband here, gave birth to a son :))) and my husband was not interested in this, but when will I find a job?!!! though not a millionaire at all. By the way, my son is almost 6, so far I haven’t been looking for a job... So what am I doing: anyway, it's really not easy to adapt... Even if everything in life is fine... No, Author, in your conditions, I personally wouldn't even think - I just realized how I wrote all of the above ...
#33
#34
2222
#36
Alenka
I have been following my husband to different cities for 18 years (each one is colder than the other) and I already hate him, I am very sorry that I ruined my life with these endless crossings, I am 37, and as a result, neither friends nor enemies and always 'on suitcases' .
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#40
And she did the right thing. we have been living in love and happiness for 5 years, and recently we bought an apartment in the residential complex Zeleny Bor in an ecologically clean area of Yaroslavl.
We'll be celebrating our housewarming soon! #41
#42
Guest
I have exactly the same situation with the move. I'm 22, he's 27, at first they lived in our city, but it didn't work out for him, but in another place everything worked out. I'm going to go to him for a couple of weeks, we miss him very much. Suddenly he offered to move there for good. I will have to leave my family here, a good job (income of 60 thousand in 22 years of the day in a city of 550,000 is just chic), I will have to leave friends, all my life? He is fine if I do not work in his city, he is ready to provide for me, I am not mercantile, but when you feel such money in your hands, you spend it on yourself, you don’t ask anyone for anything, you don’t borrow, you don’t take loans - you get used to it.
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