How can i trust my boyfriend again
10 Ways to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship
Trust is an essential component of a strong relationship, but it doesn’t happen quickly. And once it’s broken, it’s hard to rebuild.
When you think about circumstances that could lead you to lose trust in your partner, infidelity may come to mind right away. But cheating isn’t the only way to break trust in a relationship.
Other possibilities include:
- a pattern of going back on your word or breaking promises
- not being there for your partner in a time of need
- withholding, or keeping something back
- lying or manipulation
- a pattern of not sharing feelings openly
Before going over how to rebuild trust, it’s important to understand what trust is, exactly.
To start, it might be helpful to think of trust as a choice that someone has to make. You can’t make someone trust you. You might not choose to trust someone until they show that they’re worthy of it.
Signs of trust in a relationship
Trust can mean different things to different people. In a romantic relationship, trust might mean:
- You feel committed to the relationship and to your partner.
- You feel safe with your partner and know they’ll respect physical and emotional boundaries.
- You know your partner listens when you communicate your needs and feelings.
- You don’t feel the need to hide things from your partner.
- You and your partner respect each other.
- You can be vulnerable together.
- You support each other.
It’s also important to understand what trust isn’t.
In a relationship, for example, trust doesn’t necessarily mean you tell your partner every single thing that crosses your mind. It’s totally normal to have personal thoughts you keep to yourself.
Trust also doesn’t mean giving each other access to:
- bank accounts (unless it’s a shared one)
- personal computers
- cell phones
- social media accounts
You may not mind sharing this information, especially in case of an emergency.
But the presence of trust in a relationship generally means you don’t need to check up on your partner. You have faith in them and feel able to talk about any concerns you might have.
Having someone break your trust can leave you feeling hurt, shocked, and even physically sick. It might prompt you to consider your relationship — and your partner — in a different way.
If you want to attempt to rebuild trust, here are some good starting points.
Consider the reason behind the lie or betrayal
When you’ve been lied to, you might not care much about the reasons behind it.
But people do sometimes lie when they simply don’t know what else to do. This doesn’t make their choice right, but it can help to consider how you might have reacted in their position.
Sure, your partner may have betrayed you to protect themselves, but they may have had a different motive. Were they trying to protect you from bad news? Make the best of a bad money situation? Help a family member?
Maybe the betrayal of trust resulted from a miscommunication or misunderstanding.
Whatever happened, it’s important to make it clear that what they did wasn’t OK. But knowing the reasons behind their actions may help you decide whether you’re able to begin rebuilding the trust you once shared.
Communicate, communicate, communicate
It might be painful or uncomfortable, but one of the biggest aspects of rebuilding trust after betrayal is talking to you partner about the situation.
Set aside some time to clearly tell them:
- how you feel about the situation
- why the betrayal of trust hurt you
- what you need from them to start rebuilding trust
Give them a chance to talk, but pay attention to their sincerity. Do they apologize and seem truly regretful? Or are they defensive and unwilling to own up to their betrayal?
You may feel emotional or upset during this conversation. These feelings are completely valid. If you feel yourself getting too upset to continue communicating in a productive way, take a break and come back to the topic later.
Talking about what happened is just the beginning. It’s perfectly fine, and entirely normal, if you can’t work through everything in just a night or two.
Practice forgiveness
If you want to repair a relationship after a betrayal, forgiveness is key. Not only will you need to forgive your partner, but you also may need to forgive yourself.
Blaming yourself in some way for what happened can keep you stuck in self-doubt. That can hurt the chances of your relationship’s recovery.
Depending on the betrayal, it might be hard to forgive your partner and move forward. But try to remember that forgiving your partner isn’t saying that what they did was OK.
Rather, you’re empowering yourself to come to terms with what happened and leave it in the past. You’re also giving your partner a chance to learn and grow from their mistakes.
Avoid dwelling on the past
Once you’ve fully discussed the betrayal, it’s generally best to put the issue to bed.
This means you don’t want to bring it up in future arguments.
You’ll also want to go easy on constantly checking in on your partner to make sure they aren’t lying to you again.
This isn’t always easy, especially at first. You might have a hard time letting go of the betrayal and find it difficult to start trusting your partner, especially if you’re worried about another betrayal.
But when you decide to give the relationship a second chance, you’re also deciding to trust your partner again. Maybe you can’t completely trust them right away, but you’re implying you’ll give trust a chance to regrow.
If you can’t keep thinking about what happened or have misgivings about your partner’s future honesty or faithfulness, couples counseling can help. But these signs could also indicate you may not be ready to work on the relationship.
You messed up. Maybe you lied and hurt your partner or withheld information you thought would hurt them.
No matter your reasons, you know you caused them pain, and you feel terrible.
You may feel like you’d do anything to show them they can trust you again.
First, it’s important to understand that the broken trust may be beyond repair. But if you both wont to work on repairing the relationship, there are a few helpful steps you can take.
Consider why you did it
Before you embark on the process of rebuilding trust, you’ll first want to check in with yourself to understand why you did it.
Is it possible that you wanted to end the relationship but didn’t know how to? Or were there specific needs that weren’t being met by your partner? Or was it just a dumb mistake?
Understanding the motives behind your behavior can be difficult, but it’s a crucial part of rebuilding trust.
Apologize sincerely
If you lied, cheated, or otherwise damaged your partner’s faith in you, a genuine apology is a good way to start making amends. It’s important to acknowledge you made a mistake.
Just remember that your apology isn’t the time to justify your actions or explain the situation.
If some factors did influence your actions, you can always share these with your partner after apologizing and owning your part in the situation.
Be specific
When you apologize, be specific to show you know what you did was wrong. Use “I” statements. Avoid putting blame on your partner.
For example, instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you,” try:
“I’m sorry I lied to you about where I was going. I know I should’ve told you the truth, and I regret causing you pain. I want you to know I’ll never do it again.”
Make sure to follow up by telling them how you intend to avoid making the same mistake again. If you aren’t sure what they need from you to work on the relationship, you can ask. Just make sure you’re ready and willing to actively listen to their answer.
Give your partner time
Even if you’re ready to apologize, talk about what happened, and begin working through things, your partner may not feel ready yet. It can take time to come to terms with a betrayal or broken trust.
People process things in different ways, too. Your partner might want to talk right away. But they also might need days or weeks before they can address the issue with you.
It’s important to avoid pressuring them to have a discussion before they’re ready. Apologize and let your partner know you’re ready when they are. If you’re struggling in the meantime, consider talking to a counselor who can offer unbiased and supportive guidance.
Let their needs guide you
Your partner may need space and time before they can discuss what happened. And often, this might involve physical space.
This might be difficult to face, but respecting your partner’s boundaries and needs can go a long way toward showing them they can depend on you again.
Your partner may want more transparency and communication from you in the future. This is common after a betrayal of trust. You may even willingly share your phone and computer with your partner to prove your honesty.
But if you’ve made some progress in repairing your relationship and your partner continues to monitor your activities and communications with others, talking to a couples counselor can help.
Commit to clear communication
In the immediate aftermath of broken trust, you’ll want to honestly answer your partner’s questions and commit to being completely open with them in the future.
To do this, you have to make sure you’re clear on the level of communication they need.
Let’s say you broke their trust by withholding some information you didn’t think was really important, and you didn’t understand why they felt so betrayed. This can indicate there’s a deeper issue with communication in your relationship.
If you want to repair your relationship and avoid hurting your partner again in the future, you need to reach a mutual understanding of what good communication looks like.
Miscommunications or misunderstandings can sometimes cause as much pain as intentional dishonesty.
What about the details of an affair?
Relationship counselors often recommend against providing specific details about a sexual encounter with someone else. If you’ve cheated, your partner may have a lot of questions about what exactly happened.
And you might want to answer them in an effort to be transparent.
But talking about the details of an encounter can cause further pain that isn’t very productive. If your partner wants details, consider asking them to wait until you can see a therapist together.
The therapist can help you navigate the healthiest way to address these questions. In the meantime, you can still honestly answer their questions without giving explicit details.
Being in a relationship with broken trust can be extremely uncomfortable. Both sides might be eager to get the whole rebuilding process over with as fast as possible. But realistically, this takes time.
How much time, exactly? It depends on a lot of factors, particularly the event that broke the trust.
Long-standing patterns of infidelity or dishonestly will take longer to resolve. A single lie grounded in a misunderstanding or desire to protect may be easier to address, especially when the partner who lied shows sincere regret and a renewed commitment to communication.
Have patience with yourself. Don’t let your partner rush you. A partner who truly regrets hurting you may be hurting, too, but if they truly care for you and want to fix things, they should also understand it isn’t helpful to rush right back into the way things were.
Rebuilding trust isn’t an easy task. It’s normal to question if it’s even worth it before you decide to commit to working on your relationship.
If your partner makes a mistake or two over the course of a long relationship and owns up to it, working on trust issues may be the right move.
As long as there’s still love and commitment between the two of you, working on trust issues will only make your relationship stronger.
But if you know you’ll never be able to completely trust your partner again, no matter what they do, it’s generally best to make this clear right away so you can both begin to move forward separately.
It’s also worth weighing your options if you’ve discovered years of infidelity, financial dishonesty, manipulation, or other major breaches of trust.
Other red flags that might signal it’s time to throw in the towel include:
- continued deceit or manipulation
- an insincere apology
- behavior that doesn’t match up with their words
Every relationship goes through a rough patch. There’s no shame in reaching out for help.
Couples counseling can be a great resource when dealing with trust issues, particularly those involving infidelity. A counselor can offer an unbiased view of you relationship and help both partners work through underlying issues.
Having tough conversations about betrayal and trust can also bring up painful emotions on both sides. Having a trusted counselor can also help you navigate the difficult feelings as they arise.
It’s possible to rebuild a relationship after a breach of trust. Whether it’s worth it depends on your relationship needs and whether you feel it’s possible to trust your partner again.
If you do decide to try repairing things, be prepared for things to take some time.
If both sides are committed to the process of rebuilding trust, you might find that you both come out stronger than before — both as a couple and on your own.
10 Ways to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship
Trust is an essential component of a strong relationship, but it doesn’t happen quickly. And once it’s broken, it’s hard to rebuild.
When you think about circumstances that could lead you to lose trust in your partner, infidelity may come to mind right away. But cheating isn’t the only way to break trust in a relationship.
Other possibilities include:
- a pattern of going back on your word or breaking promises
- not being there for your partner in a time of need
- withholding, or keeping something back
- lying or manipulation
- a pattern of not sharing feelings openly
Before going over how to rebuild trust, it’s important to understand what trust is, exactly.
To start, it might be helpful to think of trust as a choice that someone has to make.
You can’t make someone trust you. You might not choose to trust someone until they show that they’re worthy of it.
Signs of trust in a relationship
Trust can mean different things to different people. In a romantic relationship, trust might mean:
- You feel committed to the relationship and to your partner.
- You feel safe with your partner and know they’ll respect physical and emotional boundaries.
- You know your partner listens when you communicate your needs and feelings.
- You don’t feel the need to hide things from your partner.
- You and your partner respect each other.
- You can be vulnerable together.
- You support each other.
It’s also important to understand what trust isn’t.
In a relationship, for example, trust doesn’t necessarily mean you tell your partner every single thing that crosses your mind. It’s totally normal to have personal thoughts you keep to yourself.
Trust also doesn’t mean giving each other access to:
- bank accounts (unless it’s a shared one)
- personal computers
- cell phones
- social media accounts
You may not mind sharing this information, especially in case of an emergency.
But the presence of trust in a relationship generally means you don’t need to check up on your partner. You have faith in them and feel able to talk about any concerns you might have.
Having someone break your trust can leave you feeling hurt, shocked, and even physically sick. It might prompt you to consider your relationship — and your partner — in a different way.
If you want to attempt to rebuild trust, here are some good starting points.
Consider the reason behind the lie or betrayal
When you’ve been lied to, you might not care much about the reasons behind it.
But people do sometimes lie when they simply don’t know what else to do. This doesn’t make their choice right, but it can help to consider how you might have reacted in their position.
Sure, your partner may have betrayed you to protect themselves, but they may have had a different motive. Were they trying to protect you from bad news? Make the best of a bad money situation? Help a family member?
Maybe the betrayal of trust resulted from a miscommunication or misunderstanding.
Whatever happened, it’s important to make it clear that what they did wasn’t OK. But knowing the reasons behind their actions may help you decide whether you’re able to begin rebuilding the trust you once shared.
Communicate, communicate, communicate
It might be painful or uncomfortable, but one of the biggest aspects of rebuilding trust after betrayal is talking to you partner about the situation.
Set aside some time to clearly tell them:
- how you feel about the situation
- why the betrayal of trust hurt you
- what you need from them to start rebuilding trust
Give them a chance to talk, but pay attention to their sincerity. Do they apologize and seem truly regretful? Or are they defensive and unwilling to own up to their betrayal?
You may feel emotional or upset during this conversation. These feelings are completely valid. If you feel yourself getting too upset to continue communicating in a productive way, take a break and come back to the topic later.
Talking about what happened is just the beginning. It’s perfectly fine, and entirely normal, if you can’t work through everything in just a night or two.
Practice forgiveness
If you want to repair a relationship after a betrayal, forgiveness is key. Not only will you need to forgive your partner, but you also may need to forgive yourself.
Blaming yourself in some way for what happened can keep you stuck in self-doubt. That can hurt the chances of your relationship’s recovery.
Depending on the betrayal, it might be hard to forgive your partner and move forward. But try to remember that forgiving your partner isn’t saying that what they did was OK.
Rather, you’re empowering yourself to come to terms with what happened and leave it in the past. You’re also giving your partner a chance to learn and grow from their mistakes.
Avoid dwelling on the past
Once you’ve fully discussed the betrayal, it’s generally best to put the issue to bed.
This means you don’t want to bring it up in future arguments.
You’ll also want to go easy on constantly checking in on your partner to make sure they aren’t lying to you again.
This isn’t always easy, especially at first. You might have a hard time letting go of the betrayal and find it difficult to start trusting your partner, especially if you’re worried about another betrayal.
But when you decide to give the relationship a second chance, you’re also deciding to trust your partner again. Maybe you can’t completely trust them right away, but you’re implying you’ll give trust a chance to regrow.
If you can’t keep thinking about what happened or have misgivings about your partner’s future honesty or faithfulness, couples counseling can help. But these signs could also indicate you may not be ready to work on the relationship.
You messed up. Maybe you lied and hurt your partner or withheld information you thought would hurt them.
No matter your reasons, you know you caused them pain, and you feel terrible.
You may feel like you’d do anything to show them they can trust you again.
First, it’s important to understand that the broken trust may be beyond repair. But if you both wont to work on repairing the relationship, there are a few helpful steps you can take.
Consider why you did it
Before you embark on the process of rebuilding trust, you’ll first want to check in with yourself to understand why you did it.
Is it possible that you wanted to end the relationship but didn’t know how to? Or were there specific needs that weren’t being met by your partner? Or was it just a dumb mistake?
Understanding the motives behind your behavior can be difficult, but it’s a crucial part of rebuilding trust.
Apologize sincerely
If you lied, cheated, or otherwise damaged your partner’s faith in you, a genuine apology is a good way to start making amends. It’s important to acknowledge you made a mistake.
Just remember that your apology isn’t the time to justify your actions or explain the situation.
If some factors did influence your actions, you can always share these with your partner after apologizing and owning your part in the situation.
Be specific
When you apologize, be specific to show you know what you did was wrong. Use “I” statements. Avoid putting blame on your partner.
For example, instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you,” try:
“I’m sorry I lied to you about where I was going. I know I should’ve told you the truth, and I regret causing you pain. I want you to know I’ll never do it again.”
Make sure to follow up by telling them how you intend to avoid making the same mistake again. If you aren’t sure what they need from you to work on the relationship, you can ask. Just make sure you’re ready and willing to actively listen to their answer.
Give your partner time
Even if you’re ready to apologize, talk about what happened, and begin working through things, your partner may not feel ready yet. It can take time to come to terms with a betrayal or broken trust.
People process things in different ways, too. Your partner might want to talk right away. But they also might need days or weeks before they can address the issue with you.
It’s important to avoid pressuring them to have a discussion before they’re ready. Apologize and let your partner know you’re ready when they are. If you’re struggling in the meantime, consider talking to a counselor who can offer unbiased and supportive guidance.
Let their needs guide you
Your partner may need space and time before they can discuss what happened. And often, this might involve physical space.
This might be difficult to face, but respecting your partner’s boundaries and needs can go a long way toward showing them they can depend on you again.
Your partner may want more transparency and communication from you in the future. This is common after a betrayal of trust. You may even willingly share your phone and computer with your partner to prove your honesty.
But if you’ve made some progress in repairing your relationship and your partner continues to monitor your activities and communications with others, talking to a couples counselor can help.
Commit to clear communication
In the immediate aftermath of broken trust, you’ll want to honestly answer your partner’s questions and commit to being completely open with them in the future.
To do this, you have to make sure you’re clear on the level of communication they need.
Let’s say you broke their trust by withholding some information you didn’t think was really important, and you didn’t understand why they felt so betrayed. This can indicate there’s a deeper issue with communication in your relationship.
If you want to repair your relationship and avoid hurting your partner again in the future, you need to reach a mutual understanding of what good communication looks like.
Miscommunications or misunderstandings can sometimes cause as much pain as intentional dishonesty.
What about the details of an affair?
Relationship counselors often recommend against providing specific details about a sexual encounter with someone else. If you’ve cheated, your partner may have a lot of questions about what exactly happened.
And you might want to answer them in an effort to be transparent.
But talking about the details of an encounter can cause further pain that isn’t very productive. If your partner wants details, consider asking them to wait until you can see a therapist together.
The therapist can help you navigate the healthiest way to address these questions. In the meantime, you can still honestly answer their questions without giving explicit details.
Being in a relationship with broken trust can be extremely uncomfortable. Both sides might be eager to get the whole rebuilding process over with as fast as possible. But realistically, this takes time.
How much time, exactly? It depends on a lot of factors, particularly the event that broke the trust.
Long-standing patterns of infidelity or dishonestly will take longer to resolve. A single lie grounded in a misunderstanding or desire to protect may be easier to address, especially when the partner who lied shows sincere regret and a renewed commitment to communication.
Have patience with yourself. Don’t let your partner rush you. A partner who truly regrets hurting you may be hurting, too, but if they truly care for you and want to fix things, they should also understand it isn’t helpful to rush right back into the way things were.
Rebuilding trust isn’t an easy task. It’s normal to question if it’s even worth it before you decide to commit to working on your relationship.
If your partner makes a mistake or two over the course of a long relationship and owns up to it, working on trust issues may be the right move.
As long as there’s still love and commitment between the two of you, working on trust issues will only make your relationship stronger.
But if you know you’ll never be able to completely trust your partner again, no matter what they do, it’s generally best to make this clear right away so you can both begin to move forward separately.
It’s also worth weighing your options if you’ve discovered years of infidelity, financial dishonesty, manipulation, or other major breaches of trust.
Other red flags that might signal it’s time to throw in the towel include:
- continued deceit or manipulation
- an insincere apology
- behavior that doesn’t match up with their words
Every relationship goes through a rough patch. There’s no shame in reaching out for help.
Couples counseling can be a great resource when dealing with trust issues, particularly those involving infidelity. A counselor can offer an unbiased view of you relationship and help both partners work through underlying issues.
Having tough conversations about betrayal and trust can also bring up painful emotions on both sides. Having a trusted counselor can also help you navigate the difficult feelings as they arise.
It’s possible to rebuild a relationship after a breach of trust. Whether it’s worth it depends on your relationship needs and whether you feel it’s possible to trust your partner again.
If you do decide to try repairing things, be prepared for things to take some time.
If both sides are committed to the process of rebuilding trust, you might find that you both come out stronger than before — both as a couple and on your own.
3 simple steps that will teach you to trust men
How to let go of the fear of new relationships and learn to trust men again? Does the return of trust depend on how much he disappointed you and the number of pieces your heart was broken into? Where is the guarantee that he won't do it again?
I'm sure you many women will want to know the answers to these very similar questions.
Do you want to know where they came from in this article? From my mailbox and personal consultations with women who asked for help in solving problems that arose in a relationship. Including help with the return of lost trust:
"How can I learn to trust a man after what he did to me?".
“My ex-boyfriend cheated with my best friend, how can I trust men after that?”.
“I met a man through the Internet, he LIED to me and tried to force me to send him money.
How can I trust guys again after this?
“I thought my boyfriend wanted the same happy future together that I do. But instead of proposing to me, he broke up with me. I devoted my best years to him and got nothing in return.”
I'm sure there are many such complaints.
Many women with hearts in need of healing their wounds are stuck somewhere between the assumption that "all men are bastards" and the increasingly fading hope of meeting a prince on their thorny path of life.
If you've ever felt anything like this, keep reading this article and find out how just 3 easy steps will teach you to trust men again, no matter how badly your heart was hurt in the past.
Step 1. Stop confusing trust in a man with the hope of meeting the "handsome prince"
Let's start with a simple question.
What is "trust" ?
How are you? There's an answer? Does it fit in 10 words or less? Or did your heart begin to beat frantically, and your brain just got confused by the snippets of phrases that come to mind? I asked this question to many women and almost all of them found it difficult to say what 9 means to them.
0002 "trust" to a man. Why?
Because (this may sound a little cruel) from a male point of view most women cannot learn to "trust" men because they simply don't know the meaning of the word.
Let's take a look at the definition of this word from the glossary of terms:
Trust (verb): to rely on something or someone or to have confidence in someone or something.
As a man, I can say that for me "trust" someone means to be sure that he or she will ...
- do what he says;
- act in accordance with one's nature;
- my cover in conflict or matters of the heart;
- try to cause me trouble as little as possible and respect my decisions.
"Trust" does not mean (and cannot mean) that a man must meet your expectations , which he (in fact!) does not even suspect. Yes, there are different experiences of relationships, different situations from the past, which made it quite difficult for you to learn to trust men again.
Especially if you were in a relationship that ended in the betrayal of your husband or loved one. But consider that he may not represent all men in general.
And here is the first truth for you : many women think that they “will never be able to trust a man again”, they will not be able to find a man worthy of her trust , because they are looking for the “handsome prince” that they dreamed about when they were little girls. But who said that a man can only be trusted if he could become the prince of your childhood fantasies?
Do you really expect a man to treat you like a Goddess, not look at other women, shower you with gifts, be the perfect lover, tell you his deepest secrets, slay dragons for you, want what you want want him to want to, even if he really doesn't want to? ( The last words made my brain melt, even though I keep hearing about these common female desires). If so, it will be difficult for you to find and trust a man who matches the above.
Step 2. Forgive yourself for letting a man destroy your trust
The reason many women have trust issues with men is not that "all men are assholes" or anything like that … The reason is shame. Didn't your face just turn red? Mine blushed. Why? Because shame is a terrible emotion and a very powerful word.
Let's look at why women are afraid to trust a man. There are reasons for this:
- Fear that if you give a man the power to hurt you (and to love someone is to give it), you will be hurt and devastated again. Your subconscious says: “The last time I trusted a man, he hurt me. If I don't trust men anymore, they won't be able to hurt me anymore!" .
- Shame that comes from realizing that you were foolish to trust a guy who broke your trust (or simply failed to live up to your expectations).
That's why you frantically start searching for information in a search engine, checking credit history, criminal history and compatibility by signs of the zodiac for every man you like a little.
That's why You are trying to find reasons to refuse any relationship even when they have not yet begun. Because your subconscious doesn't want to feel "wrong" again .
And from the point of view of your subconscious "distrust a man" actually guarantees that you will never again feel ashamed in front of yourself for feeling your own stupidity if you trust the wrong guy again.
That's why You need to forgive yourself right now .
Articles will help you understand yourself even better:
- How not to be left alone
- Types of women by character
- Alcoholic husband
I'll give you a hint: I suppose that they believed because they wanted to be loved.
A being loved means giving another person the power to hurt you .
If a man has hurt you in the past, do not think that you can no longer trust any male human being. It only means that in that particular case you took a risk, and that risk could not reward you with the eternal love that you dreamed of.
Listen to me: to love a man is not to be "stupid" no matter how much he might betray you or hurt you. There is nothing shameful in the fact that you succumbed to ordinary human desires.
And again we return to the question "How to learn to trust a man?" .You need to forgive yourself!
Go to the bathroom, stand in front of the mirror, look into your eyes and say to yourself: “I know that you are ashamed and hurt, you are angry about what happened because of this man, but you did everything with the best of intentions and I I forgive you" .
After that you will really feel better. And you might want to cry. Cry. Don't hold back.
Step 3. Eliminate "victim words" from your vocabulary
What are "victim words" ?
“Victim's words” are those words that take away your vitality and make you feel humiliated, insulted, offended. For example, let's burn on "favorite" for everyone: Deception.
I can't even count how many times in my life I've heard this phrase: "How can I learn to trust a man again after what he did to me?"
And here are the cruel but honest truths for you:
- No one can make you a victim but you.
- No one can make you happy except you.
- No one can make you feel anything but you.
By making yourself a victim, you give the man who disappointed or betrayed your trust all power over you. But if you stop using "victim words" , then take your fate into your own hands.
That's all you need
Let's summarize what needs to be done to solve the problem called "How to learn to trust men again" :
- understand what trust is
- forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be deceived (offended)
- stop perceiving yourself as a victim
Thank you for your attention and patience.
I hope that I did not waste a lot of time writing this material and now you are at least three steps closer to understanding how to trust a man.
After all, this is one of the most important conditions for a truly harmonious relationship.
Looking forward to the comments under this text!
With love,
Yaroslav Samoilov
The most interesting articles by Yaroslav Samoilov:
Psychology of relations with a married man
How to interest a man?
How to attract a man if you have a child?
How to win a man in 90 days?
How to survive the betrayal of her husband?
16 invaluable examples of how to compliment a man
How to behave on a first date?
How to motivate your man? Male point of view
19 nice sms to your beloved man
Proper support for a man is a real skill for a woman
How to get a man back? Turn-based strategy
How to politely refuse a man?
Why do men leave?
5 insights on how to attract and choose the “right” man
Unforgivable sins of men on a first date
3 simple steps that will teach you to trust men
5 golden truths, how to understand a man
How to tell a man that he is wrong?
How to meet a guy?
How to survive a divorce from your husband? 8 questions that will prompt the correct answer
9 signs that a partner can be trusted
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Man among people Man and woman
Trust in a couple is not only the certainty that your partner will not cheat on you.
It is also important whether he respects your agreements regarding money, the distribution of household chores, watching adult films, drinking alcohol and other substances...
A trusted partner doesn't try to control who you hang out with and what you do in your free time
1. He asks you about what's going on with you and tells you about himself
A trustworthy partner doesn't wait that you will learn to read his mind and share with you what is on his mind, even if it is not easy for him to talk about his feelings. And he makes every effort to stay up to date with what is happening to you.
2. He gives you his phone without any problems
For example, so that you check the route while he is driving.
He has absolutely nothing to hide. And the fact that you will see who writes to him and about what is not a problem for him.
3. He gives you the freedom to be yourself
A trusted partner who doesn't try to control who you hang out with and what you do in your free time. With him, you can calmly and without embarrassment share what worries you, knowing that you will be listened to without judgment, consoled and supported. Such a person does not criticize or ridicule. He loves and accepts you for being you.
4. He is careful with you and your self-esteem and tries to maintain
carefully and tactfully assure you that there is nothing to worry about, that you are beautiful.
And if such a partner upsets you or somehow lets you down, he repents and sincerely asks for forgiveness
5. He touches you
And not only during sex. Your intimacy is maintained on all levels, including the body.
6. People around him trust him
Friends, buddies, colleagues, parents - it seems that all of them, without delay, share their secrets with such a person, knowing that he will not blurt them out. Which means you can do the same.
7. He does not run away from responsibility
Such a partner does not perceive you as a "nanny" who will tell you in time that it is time to wrap up with work or drinking alcohol. He takes responsibility for his actions - and for mistakes too. And if such a partner upsets you or somehow brings you down, he repents and sincerely asks for forgiveness.
8. He asks questions, but does not arrange interrogations
He wants to know what you think and feel. Because he cares, not because he suspects you of something and does not trust you.
9. He is there when you need him
...Whatever happens to you. And you, most likely, strive to do the same for him.
