Add and feeling overwhelmed
Why Everyday Things Can Feel Overwhelming with ADHD
With ADHD, managing even the smallest tasks can feel difficult. Here are some strategies for focusing on getting things done when you feel overwhelmed.
If you’ve been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you might find yourself creating large to-do lists but having a hard time following through on any of those tasks.
Or, you might procrastinate until the last minute on an important work project, only to feel bad the next day because you did not spend the time you wanted perfecting your presentation.
This can create a cycle of stress, shame, and regret, one that may lead folks with ADHD to feel anxious and depressed, according to 2017 research.
Becoming easily overwhelmed and distracted can sometimes be hallmark symptoms of ADHD.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition, people with ADHD might experience symptoms like:
- restlessness
- difficulty focusing
- forgetfulness
- impatience
- impulsiveness
- problems with self-regulation or emotional regulation
Casey Dixon, an educator and coach for professionals with ADHD, explains that life with ADHD can sometimes feel like a symphony playing with no conductor, score, or organization and all of the players trying to take center stage at the same time.
All of your thoughts can be equally loud and distracting, making it difficult to focus on one or two for any period of time.
“People with ADHD get distracted easily,” says Shauna Pollard, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist who has worked with clients in private practice in Maryland, Georgia, and the District of Columbia for more than 20 years.
It can be hard for people to accomplish goals. “You might be prone to procrastination or manage boredom by doing what’s intriguing rather than what’s important,” Pollard adds.
It’s no surprise that people diagnosed with ADHD can often feel burned out and exhausted.
Here are six tasks that can quickly become overwhelming for people with ADHD, according to the experts.
1. Finding things
If you have ADHD, you may have trouble staying organized at home and at the office, says Pollard, who primarily works with high-achieving professionals who live with depression and ADHD.
Being disorganized makes it harder to find things when you need them, like your:
- keys
- wallet
- phone
- important documents
This can cause extra stress and anxiety in your life on a daily basis, Pollard adds.
2. Showing up on time
Managing time effectively and keeping up with schedules and appointments can be challenging when you have ADHD, says Pollard.
There are also negative emotions associated with forgetting meetings or scrambling to get somewhere on time. You might get negative feedback from people in your life about your forgetful behavior and take it personally, adds Pollard.
3. Meeting deadlines
Working toward deadlines often requires self-organization or budgeting your time, effort, and energy. These are things that people with ADHD might have difficulty with, explains J. Russell Ramsay, PhD.
Ramsay is an associate professor of clinical psychology and the director of the Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program at the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of Medicine.
Things can become even more challenging when you have to manage other life affairs, like a household and family, Ramsay adds.
4. Following health routines
It can also be challenging for people with ADHD to stick to health routines, like taking medication regularly or following through with exercise, says Ramsay.
Managing chronic conditions like diabetes can be especially difficult.
“If a consequence is not imminent, adults with ADHD are more prone to put off the necessary action that benefits them in the long-term,” Ramsay says. “It’s the common conundrum of prioritizing the smaller-sooner payoff rather than the larger-later benefit.”
5. Reading a book
If you have ADHD, you might find yourself re-reading paragraph after paragraph because you got lost in thoughts or distractions, explains Sabrina Romanoff, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist with a private practice in New York City.
When you’re not managing ADHD, you can generally become fully absorbed in an activity with no room for distraction.
Romanoff describes this type of focused attention, which often eludes people with ADHD, as a state of flow. “It’s when you’re fully engrossed in the activity and don’t have to actively filter out intrusive stimuli,” she explains.
6. Accomplishing goals
Everyone can have difficulty meeting goals from time to time.
But if you have ADHD, you may have a lot working against you when it comes to focusing on a single goal and organizing your time and energy around it. This can apply to smaller tasks, like organizing your desk, or larger ones, like writing a book.
This is where more negative emotions can develop for some.
“Over time, the real-world consequences of being disorganized, late, and distracted, despite your best efforts, can cause feelings of guilt, shame, and disappointment,” says Pollard.
Dealing with feeling overwhelmed on top of a busy to-do list can be doubly stressful. However, there are ways to cope with feeling overwhelmed when you have ADHD.
ADHD treatment
Managing symptoms of ADHD is possible with the right treatment plan. Some people may find that they feel less overwhelmed when their ADHD is managed effectively.
If you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, consider working with a doctor or therapist to find the best treatment plan.
Treatment plans for ADHD often include:
- therapy
- medication
- self-care and lifestyle changes
“Medication is incredibly helpful in treating the symptoms of ADHD,” says Pollard.
ADHD medications can only be prescribed by doctors. It’s important to follow a doctor’s recommended guidelines with any prescribed medication.
Like all mental health conditions, it may take time and effort to find what works best for your ADHD symptoms.
Focus on your strengths
When you’re feeling overwhelmed by ADHD, Pollard suggests taking an honest look at your strengths and the areas that you are struggling in.
Try finding ways to build systems and strategies to manage your areas of weakness, such as:
- working with a coach or therapist who specializes in ADHD
- reading books on living with ADHD
- listening to podcasts for people with ADHD
A 2019 study on effective time-management skills for college students with ADHD confirms Pollard’s advice. Students who were more self-evaluative, meaning they paused and took a close look at the challenges they were facing, reported some stress relief related to their ADHD challenges.
Reframe unhelpful thoughts
Reframing negative or unhelpful thoughts around difficulties focusing and meeting deadlines may also help.
Students who participated in the 2019 study mentioned earlier reported that talking about their ADHD challenges reduced stress and anxiety related to how friends, family, and teachers may perceive habitual behavior.
Mindfulness
What is generally missing when you have ADHD is focused attention or the ability to channel your attention to a single task without interruption, explains Romanoff.
However, there are ways to build this skill through research-backed mindfulness practices.
You can start by removing distractions from your workspaces and practicing grounding exercises that can help you stay in the present moment, says Romanoff.
“When you find your thoughts racing, list five things you can see, five things you can touch, five things you can hear, and so on throughout your senses.”
Stimulate your senses
“Your senses can help to pull you out of the chaos that has been created in your mind,” Romanoff explains.
Try to make tasks more exciting or sensory, she suggests. “You could work in a more exciting place, try to work in shorter focused stints, and spray your favorite scent or light a candle to create more positive connections.”
It’s easy for simple tasks to make people with ADHD feel overwhelmed. But there are ways to cope with feeling overwhelmed so you can be more productive.
Some strategies experts recommend to help you find more focus and manage day-to-day tasks with less stress include:
- working with a doctor to manage ADHD symptoms with medication
- seeing a therapist or coach specializing in ADHD
- leaning into your strengths with podcasts or books on living with ADHD
- practicing mindfulness
- grounding yourself with your senses and breathwork
Consider reaching out for the help you need and experimenting with strategies that may work for you. If you don’t know where to begin, check out Psych Central’s guide to finding mental health support.
With help, you can quiet the symphony of thoughts in your head and more easily aim your awareness at the things you care about and want to achieve.
How to Manage Feeling Overwhelmed with ADHD: 5 Tips
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Too many appointments, emails, or deadlines? Here’s how you can manage life when your ADHD is making you feel overwhelmed.
People with ADHD tend to experience life more intensely than others. This means that even if you’re hyper-focusing on a certain task or assignment in front of you, you can still have many other thoughts and ideas coursing through your brain.
It can feel like there’s always a lot going on, which may become overwhelming. If you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and feel like almost everything overwhelms you, you’re not alone!
“Individuals with ADHD have weaknesses in sustaining their attention span,” explains Emily W. King, PhD, a Raleigh, North Carolina-based psychologist.
“This means it can be hard to complete a task or manage other executive function skills like making a plan, organizing the plan, starting the plan, sustaining attention to the plan, and shifting to something else when finished with the plan.
”
“And, if something interrupts or distracts them, it can be hard to come back to the plan. So, they leave many things unfinished.” That emotional overwhelm can make you want to shut down, but there are ways to manage those overwhelming feelings so you can still get things done!
In general, King says the best way to combat that overwhelming feeling is to use things like:
- timers
- visuals reminders
- phones
“Many of the mistakes a person with ADHD makes are not intentional,” she explains. “Because their emotions can come on fast, or impulsively, those of us without ADHD need to be understanding when they’re feeling overwhelmed.”
Too many things to do and don’t know where to begin? Take a few minutes to do some deep breathing and calm yourself. Then, make a list of everything you have to do, step by step.
“Do each thing for a set period of time and then take a 5-minute break,” King recommends. “Then, move on to the next task.”
Kids are so busy these days.
Between soccer practice, ballet, doctor’s appointments, and playdates, they have a lot on their plates — which means you have a lot on your plate, too.
On top of that, as a parent, you receive countless emails from school, camp, sports teams, etc. Juggling all of this at once is enough to make you want to hide in the bathroom and never come out.
But, don’t worry. There are ways to manage — and actually make it to — all of your kids’ appointments.
“Rely on technology for setting up reminders,” says King. “And, create a daily ritual of scanning through all of your texts and emails. Make sure you’ve replied to any important texts. Set up filters for your inbox to sort things into folders that you can review daily. This way, you’re going directly to the important emails instead of randomly scanning your inbox.”
Whoever created “Inbox Zero” clearly didn’t have ADHD. If they did, it’d be more like “Inbox Under 1,000.”
“If you’re a parent, you probably struggle with this even if you don’t have ADHD,” says King.
“It can get overwhelming to see so many emails, and folders are a great way to manage this. And don’t forget about the search bar for when you need to that email you read a few weeks ago but can no longer see.”
“Also, to cut back on the clutter, delete emails at milestones like the end of the school year or the end of a commitment,” King adds. “It’s also helpful to create separate work and personal emails as well as a separate email that will attract spam to keep it out of your work and personal inboxes.”
Between the procrastination, disorganization, and the lack of motivation many of us feel around tasks that don’t give us instant gratification, it’s no surprise that the bills pile up until the stack becomes so high that it’s overwhelming: electric, phone, cable, mortgage, credit cards…
King has a simple solution: “Automate everything!”
Sign up for automatic bill pay through your bank or your providers. You’ll feel so much more relaxed when you no longer have the stress of paying bills on time or dealing with late fees.
Take advantage of smart home devices like Amazon Alexa or Google Home, use the notes app on your phone, or hang a blank piece of paper on your fridge.
“As soon as you realize you’re running low on something or you’ve used up the last bit, add it to your list,” King says. “Now you’ve created most of your grocery list!”
To make meal-planning and cooking easier, King recommends setting up a meal schedule, such as Meatless Mondays or Taco Tuesdays, so that there aren’t too many options to choose from. Then, rotate your favorite recipes each week so that weeknight meals are easy and predictable.
You can also subscribe to meal-planning sites like Plan to Eat, where you can download recipes from the web and add them to your weekly menu, which instantly creates a grocery list, saving you the stress of having to write down each ingredient you’ll need.
“Remember that your child’s brain is still developing, and they may take longer to develop the skills that other children have at certain ages,” King says.
“Children with ADHD tend to develop social and emotional regulation skills slightly later than their neurotypical peers, so just because they are a certain grade or age doesn’t mean that they can do a certain skill.”
If you’re noticing that your child is feeling overwhelmed, King says the first thing you should do is listen to their point of view.
“When a child is overwhelmed, always connect and be supportive,” she recommends. “Once everyone is calm, then problem solve why something didn’t work and what kind of strategy the child needs for the next time they are faced with that situation.”
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the day-to-day responsibilities of life, there are numerous tricks and tips that can help you take control and better manage each task.
But first, it’s important to determine if you’re feeling overwhelmed or overloaded. The former is based on emotions, while the latter means you’re not quite sure about what to do first, second, or third.
While both require simplifying what you can and creating things like checklists and reminders, an ADHD coach or therapist can help you learn how to prioritize your tasks so you’re no longer overloaded and have a better idea as to where to begin your to-do list.
You can check out these Psych Central articles for some guidance and tips:
- Tips on How to Focus with ADHD
- 9 Tips for Creating a Routine for Adults with ADHD
- Tips for Living with ADHD
- The 12 Best Apps for ADHD of 2021
- ADHD Resources: Support Groups, Books, Apps, and More
Once you know the proper steps to take, you’ll feel less overwhelmed. Using the right tips and tricks can make your day-to-day life easier!
What to do to stop feeling overwhelmed
August 10, 2016 Productivity
Do you feel that your strength is at the limit, and the work has not been going well for a long time? Find out why this happens and what to do to correct the situation and enjoy life again.
You have a lot of things to do, but critically little time to complete them. Too many people want you to pay attention to them, but you can't because you're always in a hurry somewhere. You don’t understand how you can do everything on time, and even so that there is time for your personal life.
Common situation?
At the dawn of the digital age, we firmly believed that gadgets would make our lives easier and less stressful in many ways. It seems like we've never been so wrong.
We have started working much harder than before and we can't stop even if we really want to: smartphones, Skype, instant messengers and e-mail have become an integral part of modern life. Yes, and colleagues from different time zones who want to be in touch around the clock. We are stuck at work. It is not at all surprising that with such a frantic pace of life, we often feel unwell.
Reasons why people feel overwhelmed
Sometimes it can be quite difficult to understand what exactly caused your depression. It seems like it all came crashing down at once. But think about this: fatigue is just a feeling that will pass sooner or later, you just need to identify what caused it and eliminate the cause.
Here is a short list of the most common causes of depression.
- Someone is constantly taking advantage of you, and you don't know how to handle the situation and get rid of unpleasant obligations.
- You are very much afraid that you will get into a compromising situation and will not be able to get out of it with dignity.
- You are too responsible and are afraid to admit to yourself that you are no longer able to deal with the accumulated problems on your own.
- You do not understand what you are asked to do, but you are afraid to confess, and this weighs on you.
What to do if everything went wrong
When it seems to you that everything in the world is infinitely sad and hopelessly bad, it is quite natural that you begin to feel the same way. Being depressed and tired from time to time is absolutely normal, but if this condition has become your constant companion, then you need to take appropriate measures.
- Understand the real reason for your bad condition. What really upsets you? Or who?
- Think about what you can change.
Look at the problem realistically, honestly evaluate whether the situation can be turned around for the better, and do whatever is necessary to do so. - Make a plan. Draft a to-do list of several items that will help solve the problem. Commit changes as you go. Feel free to ask for help.
It also happens that you are simply unable to influence the current situation. Then you just need to accept it. Yes, it is not easy, but it makes a valuable contribution to the treasury of your life experience.
Done with the general advice. Let's move on to specific actions that you need to perform daily in order to feel much better.
1. Delegate
Do only what you are really good at. Sometimes people take on extra tasks just because they're easy enough, done quickly, and don't require a lot of effort. Sometimes - because of distrust of other people or because they believe that no one else is able to cope with them. Sometimes it's just out of habit.
All these tasks can easily be delegated to someone else so that you no longer feel like a loaded donkey. Ask yourself: Am I really the only person who can do this? In most cases, the answer will be no.
2. Question
Too often we do things just because we have to, or because we always did them. But are they really necessary? It is quite possible that we regularly spend a lot of time on absolutely useless activities. To stop wasting precious minutes, ask yourself two questions: Do I really have to complete this task? Will anything change if I don't do it? If both answers are negative, feel free to cross this item off your to-do list.
3. Take breaks
Find time to take a break. No matter how busy your schedule is, it is quite possible to allocate at least 15 minutes in it. This time will be enough for your brain to take a break and start working much more efficiently.
Imagine that these 15 minutes are the kind of mini-vacation you miss so much.
Close your eyes for a couple of minutes and allow yourself to relax a little. And then, as if from the outside, try to look at the problem that worries you. We assure you, a solution will definitely be found.
4. Ask for help
When we feel overwhelmed and overwhelmed, we need support more than ever. For her, we turn to friends, family and even colleagues. Complaining about life within reasonable limits is perfectly acceptable, but know the measure: if you start constantly telling everyone about how difficult it is for you, you will achieve exactly the opposite effect. You don't need a reputation as a whiner, do you?
It is often helpful to look at a situation through the eyes of another person.
Tell someone about your concerns and ask for advice. Ask how your interlocutor would act in a similar situation and what actions he would take. Sometimes a fresh look helps to find rather unexpected ways out of a critical situation. And in general, maybe you are winding yourself up in vain and the problem is not as terrible as it seems?
5.
Learn to refuse Assess your abilities adequately: if you cannot cope with a large amount of work on your own, do not burden yourself with things just because it is inconvenient for you to refuse. Set reasonable boundaries and learn how to finally say the word "no". Every time before agreeing to something, think twice whether you can really cope with the obligations entrusted to you.
Don't know how to politely refuse? Be diplomatic. If your requester is a boss or an important client, try saying things like, “This is going to be pretty difficult given our current priorities. Let's try to find other ways to solve the problem?
6. Think about the people closest to you
If you can't cope with the growing tension, think about your closest people and how they would support you if they suddenly happened to be nearby. Instead of worrying about what a new colleague or some unfamiliar person will think of you, it’s better to remember those whose opinion you really value.
This will give you the strength you need right now.
Health: Science and Technology: Lenta.ru
Photo: Unsplash
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Social Psychologist Alice Boyce explained that it's easy to cheer up when you're depressed. You need to relive the feelings from a successfully completed task, writes Psychology Today.
When people are depressed, they often think of sources of pleasure, such as delicious food, weekends in the country, or shopping therapy. However, this is a false aspiration, as activities that provide a sense of accomplishment/task can be much more effective, Beuys believes. She notes that often there is no energy left for active actions: they are either too busy or exhausted by sadness and disappointment. In this state, it’s not easy to take on the tasks that make you feel like a hero, so she offers three simple but unexpected methods to cheer yourself up.
The first thing she suggests is an adventure, even if it's a bit difficult.
This strategy isn't for every occasion, but it's worth including in your toolkit. The psychologist gives the example of her daily budget trips to other cities, when she is on the road at night, travels around the city during the day, and returns home in the evening. It was pretty exhausting, but enriched with the best memories in my life. She recalled that in a depressed or exhausted state, the motivation to do what is “needed” may disappear. But sometimes there is motivation to go on an adventure. This can cheer you up, even if the road will be difficult. Stepping out of your home environment will give you a fresh perspective on life and problems.
Related materials:
In the second method, the specialist suggested inspiration by someone else's example. She explained that with stress and anxiety, it is important to remember that sometimes they are experienced while pursuing an important goal. When overwhelmed by a state of deep anxiety about your goals, it is important to see how other people experience the same and realize dreams with no guarantee of success, often failing along the way.
TV shows and YouTube videos can be used. The key is to find content that resonates emotionally but doesn't match your goal. This will allow you to see the universality of your emotions and struggles, and this can provide some psychological distance and relieve anxiety.
Boyce called the third method the appeal to the inspirer, the idol. Feeling overwhelmed causes a state of "nothing to lose" and paradoxically add enterprise and courage. One way to channel this in the right direction is to reach out to someone who inspires. It may not be possible to get the expected, but the mood boost due to the ability to take risks is guaranteed. You can also write a letter, ask a question, or send a thank you tweet to the author or podcaster whose work has benefited you.
There are many ways to cheer yourself up during an emotionally difficult time. With each of them, resistance to difficult situations is strengthened. These ways won't make the emotional pain go away, they'll help you see the problem and yourself differently, feel like hard times are a growth experience and a knock-down tool, Dr.
