2Nd marriage divorce rate

10 Rules for a Successful Second Marriage

Respect, positive communication, and having a good sense of humor go a long way in making your second marriage last a lifetime.

While many couples see remarriage as a second chance at happiness, the statistics tell a different story. According to available Census data, the divorce rate for second marriages in the United States is over 60% compared to around 50% for first marriages.

Why are second marriages more likely to fail?

One explanation is the formation of blended families, which can cause loyalty issues with stepchildren and rivalries between co-parents, but there are many other difficulties and stresses that come with remarrying. A foundation of trust and intimacy is vital to beating the odds.

Everyone Has Baggage

When people get remarried, they often bring unhealthy relationship patterns and trust issues from their first marriage that can sabotage the new relationship. Sometimes this baggage can cause couples to rush into tying the knot without truly getting to know each other.

For instance, if you were betrayed by your former spouse, you may be overly suspicious and lack confidence in your new partner.

Here’s how Kayla put it: “We’ve only been married for a few years,” she paused, “But I’m already questioning Jake when he’s late from work – full of mistrust and accusations.” It became clear that Kayla was having difficulty trusting Jake due to her ex-husband’s affair.

Be Vulnerable

It makes sense that a fear of vulnerability can be a real dilemma in a second marriage, yet not expressing our innermost feelings, thoughts, and wishes can actually put a relationship more at risk because we lose out on the trust and intimacy that vulnerability offers.

Being vulnerable with your partner can make you feel exposed, but it is the most important ingredient of a trusting, intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brené Brown defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Dr. John Gottman writes in What Makes Love Last? that “life tends to go better for those who have the courage to trust others.”

Create Realistic Expectations

Accept that there are inevitable ups and downs in remarried life. New love is a wonderful feeling, but it doesn’t make up for the pain of divorce, nor does it automatically restore the family to its former status. According to stepfamily expert Maggie Scarf, “On the contrary, remarriage will present [couples] with a number of unanticipated design issues such as loyalty binds, the breakdown of parenting tasks, and the uniting of disparate family cultures. ”

A key issue for remarried couples to address is interpersonal communication. This is especially true when it comes to finances, how to discipline children and stepchildren, personality conflicts in the newly created family, and rivalries between family members.

Below are ten powerful rules I’ve learned from working with remarried couples and in my own second marriage.

1. Build a culture of appreciation, respect, and tolerance
Author Kyle Benson says, “When you can, express what you cherish about your partner. The idea is to catch your partner doing something right and say ‘thanks for doing that. I noticed you unloaded the dishwasher and I really appreciate it.’”

2. Practice being vulnerable in small steps
Build confidence in being more open with your partner. Discussing minor issues like schedules and meals is a great place to start before tackling bigger matters like disciplining kids or managing finances.

3. Create time and a relaxed atmosphere to interact with your partner
Ask for what you need in an assertive, non-aggressive way and be willing to see each other’s side of the story. In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. Gottman encourages us to respond to our partner’s “bids” for attention, affection, and support. This can be something minor like “please make the salad” or as significant as accompanying our partner on a trip to visit an ill parent.

4. Discuss expectations to avoid misunderstandings
Take a risk and deal with hurt feelings, especially if it’s an important issue, rather than stonewalling and shutting down. In Marriage Rules, Harriet Lerner posits that a good fight can clear the air. She writes that “it’s nice to know we can survive conflict and even learn from it.”

5. Prepare for conflict
Understand that conflict doesn’t mean the end of your marriage. Dr. John Gottman’s research on thousands of couples discovered that conflict is inevitable in all relationships and 69% of problems in a marriage go unresolved. Despite this, conflict can be managed successfully and the marriage can thrive! Stephanie Manes, LCSW advises us to take a short break if we feel overwhelmed or flooded as a way to restore positive communication with our partner.

6. Communicate effectively
Accept responsibility for your role in a disagreement. Listen to your partner’s requests and ask for clarification on issues that are unclear. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements that tend to come across as blameful, such as “I felt hurt when you purchased the car without discussing it with me.”

7. Embrace your role as a stepparent
The role of the stepparent is one of an adult friend, mentor, and supporter rather than a disciplinarian. Learn new strategies and share your ideas with your partner. There’s no such thing as instant love. When stepparents feel unappreciated or disrespected by their stepchildren, they will have difficulty bonding with them – causing stress for the stepfamily.

8. Attune to your partner
Eye contact and body posture demonstrate your intention to listen and compromise. Practicing what Dr. John Gottman calls emotional attunement while relaxing together can help you stay connected despite your differences. This means “turning toward” one another and showing empathy rather than “turning away.” His 40 years of research showed that happy couples have a 5:1 ratio of interactions during conflict – meaning for every negative interaction, you need five positive ones.

9. Establish an open-ended dialogue
Don’t make threats or issue ultimatums. Avoid saying things you’ll regret later. Money is one of the most common things remarried couples argue about and full disclosure about finances is key to the success of the remarriage so resentment doesn’t build up.

10. Practice forgiveness
Accept that we all have flaws. Forgiveness isn’t the same as condoning the hurt done to you, but it will allow you to move on and remember you are on the same team.

The best way to beat the odds and make your second marriage succeed is to create a culture of appreciation and respect in your home. It’s also crucial to risk being vulnerable with your partner so that you can build trust and intimacy. Determination, respect, acceptance, positive communication, and having a good sense of humor can go a long way in making sure your second marriage lasts a lifetime.

The Gottman Relationship Adviser, the world’s first complete relationship wellness tool for couples, takes the guesswork out of improving your relationship. Measure your relationship health with a research-based self-assessment, then receive a tailored digital relationship plan proven to heal and strengthen your connection.

For an in-depth analysis of your relationship health check out the Gottman Assessment, a virtual relationship evaluation tool for couples.

Check out our free relationship quiz for couples.

If want to build a deeply meaningful second marriage full of trust and intimacy, then subscribe below to receive upcoming blog posts directly to your inbox:

Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW

Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW is a licensed therapist and author. ="wpforms-"]

9 Reasons Why Second Marriages End in Divorce

Statistics show that in the United States, 50% percent of first-time marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. Yikes, that sure sounds bleak.

But, why is this? You’d think one would get ‘better’ at the whole marriage thing with more practice. And whatever happened to third time’s a charm?

With each waltz down the aisle, surely the bride and groom both think- “this time I got it right, this is the real thing, this is unshakable, this the marriage that will beat all odds..”

But even if you picked right, sadly the deck is stacked against you from the get-go.

Turns out, there are many reasons why second and third marriages fail.

If you are contemplating remarriage, be aware of these stumbling blocks. And when/if you find yourself up against one, know that with patience, understanding, communication, hard work, and love, you can overcome!

1. Been There, Done That, and Survived

If someone has been through a divorce once before, and knows they can make it through this tragic, life-altering ordeal, then maybe they are less terrified of going through it again when the sh$t hits the fan.

The thought process might be “I’ve done it once, lived to the tell the tale, and can survive it….again.”

They may also be more inclined to run at the first sign of trouble.

So, it’s not that one gets better at marriage with every marriage, it’s that one gets better at divorce with every marriage.

2. Divorce Baggage

Having been through a wrenching emotional experience, one might be wary of fully opening their heart to a new love.

Someone may think they are over their divorce, but deep down, at the subconscious level, their wounds are still raw.

A fear of intimacy- getting too close- leaves them scared of giving their all. Vulnerability reminds them of the pain from the divorce.

Always expecting the worst, being a ‘Debbie Downer’, with doomsday around every corner is not healthy for the new relationship. A glass-half-full attitude can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Carrying the same emotional baggage, and pain, from one relationship to another is poisonous.

Sometimes divorcees get TOO set in their ways of independence, especially if they have been divorced for a long while.

If someone is not willing to fully merge their life with yours, the marriage will be difficult to sustain.

Make sure everyone going into the new marriage is emotionally healed, and healthy, and really ready for a fresh start.

3. Marrying for The Wrong Reasons

Feeling lonely, or feeling like one just can’t hack it on their own, can lead to hasty decisions. Reentering into coupledom, without clearly thinking things through in a mature manner, sets a marriage up for failure.

Rebounding is quite common, as the attention from another suitor can be very intoxicating, like an addictive drug. Running from one relationship to another, without giving it proper time and assessment is dangerous.

Once the infatuation wanes, the reality of the relationship may not be as rosy without those rose-colored glasses.

4. Not Enough Time Spent Getting to Know Someone

It’s important to get to know someone in ALL aspects of life before marrying them.

No one is always the best version of themselves, and it’s important to see someone when they aren’t – see how they handle stress, criticism, bad luck, tough times, rejection, and failure. How are problems dealt with as a couple?

No wonder most couples from the hit show The Bachelor/The Bachelorette break up. It’s pretty easy to love someone when it’s all roses, champagne, and rainbows.

Without taking the time to see the whole person – the good, the bad, and the ugly – one won’t get the chance to properly evaluate their new mate before making a major life decision, i.e. marriage. This applies equally to first marriages and every marriage after.

Taking the slow (dating) boat is the only way to make a truly informed decision.

In a new relationship? Check out 24 (Essential) Rules for Dating After Divorce.

5. Kids as the Common Glue

Perhaps the cement holding a 2nd/3rd/4th marriage together isn’t as strong. Marriage, historically and as an institution, was mainly intended as a structure for raising offspring.

Since most subsequent marriages do not produce children, there is no common glue binding them together.

Couples won’t be as inclined to ‘work it out, for the children’s sake’ when things get rough. Many often sacrifice their own happiness and stay in a (first) marriage way past its expiration date. Everyone knows at least one couple who waited until the kids left off to college to divorce.

As hard as kids are to raise, and as tough as they can be on their parents, they act as a stabilizing influence in marriage.

Furthermore, without children in common, the element of family is not as fundamental. So, the desire to keep the family together is not as strong.

Simply put, there is less at stake in allowing a marriage to dissolve when little children hearts aren’t a factor.

6. Second Marriages come with Stepchildren.

While children act as binding agents in first marriages (even rocky ones), stepchildren are often the dissolving agents in subsequent ones

Children from a prior marriage make subsequent marriages even more complicated. The more children the more complications.

Learning to live with other people’s children isn’t easy, I can barely live with my own on days when they are just being little hellions. I can’t imagine living with someone else’s snarky, PMS-y teen girl, let alone my own.

Plus, children often harbor resentment for their parent’s new spouse and will go out of their way to make things difficult.

Children heal from divorce at different rates, some faster and easier than others. Many fantasize about their parents getting back to together for years.

They mourn the loss of their family and often aren’t welcoming to new step-parents or step-siblings. They view them as obstacles to mommy and daddy getting back together.

Furthermore, stepparents do not have the power to be a disciplinarian and find themselves in the difficult position of having to bite their tongues. They often feel walked upon by their partner’s children, disrespected in their own home, with not much they can do about it.

It takes patience, time, and intense communication to make the new, blended family run at some semblance of smoothly.

Related: Stepping into Step-Parenting (Struggles, Boundaries, Advice)

7. The Ex-Factor

Then there are exes to cooperate with.

So basically, as more and more characters join the blended family, the crazier the circus gets. Juggling these relationships can cause problems and generate animosities, further complicating the new family dynamic.

And while some exes are thrilled to see their ex enter a new marriage—especially if it ends their alimony payments – some are sad, seething, and still feel betrayed.

Some angry exes continue to drag their ex-spouse back to court for various (often petty) reasons long after the divorce is final, just because they can.

Some exes may thrive on attempting to sabotage your new relationship every chance they get. These off-the-wall, ill-intended actions do cause serious emotional and financial strife in the new marriage.

Even worse, they may use children as a ploy in combat against you and your new partner …yes – it’s very sad, and yes – very stressful.

If my ex sounds at all like yours, you should definitely give this a read: How to be in the Same Room with an Ex You Loathe

8. Money Matters

Money is often an issue in first marriages but becomes even more pronounced in second/third marriages due to child support and spousal maintenance payments.

Money and resentment go hand in hand in second/subsequent marriages, and can especially feel the strain when money is tight. And issues only compound when bringing in debts.

As individuals, we all have our own philosophies on money: saving vs. spending.

Money matters tend to bring out a lot of ‘feeling’ in people.

Maybe one spouse feels like they are fronting the bill for most of their lifestyle because much of their new spouse’s money is going toward child rearing expenses for children that aren’t theirs, and aren’t particularly pleasant, and surely aren’t appreciative.

A new wife might feel bitter that her new husband is paying what she considers an exorbitant amount in spousal support to his ex-wife. A newly wed bride may feel resentful that now, because of her new marriage, she must forfeit her alimony. One ex may feel like they pay too much in support, while the other ex feels that they are paid too little.

Even if money isn’t especially tight, money still has an influence. If wife of marriage present wants to take an African Glamping Safari but can’t because hubby must keep sending those hefty checks to wife of marriage past, she’ll probably get a bit pouty when she must settle for state-side camping instead.

And even if money is bountiful, there can still be issues. For example: Contemplating early retirement? No can do hubby number two- wife number one won’t allow for it, she demands those payments- sorry new wife.

People are just weird about money, and divorce seems to make people even weirder about it.

9. Complicated Family Matters & In-Law Situations

In-laws, and extended family in general, are difficult enough. In-Law relations, family past and present, become especially challenging in subsequent marriages, particularly when both spouses bring children into the new marriage.

The cast of characters would include husband’s parents, wife’s parents, husband’s ex’s parents, and wife’s ex’s parents… then throw in a few shady cousins, weird uncles, and obnoxious aunts. Whose house do you go to for Christmas?

Then, two of these in-law couples could be divorced as well, adding yet another pair of in-laws. Like cells they just keep breaking off, replicating, and expanding. If one of the spouses in a third marriage has children from their previous two marriages, the mathematic variation of potential extended-family complications just expands.

If you are contemplating re-marriage, it’s best to go in bright-eyed and but also with your eyes opened wide. Be wary of these many pitfalls and deal with any issues head on.

Be aware, be communicative, and be patient. You CAN be a success story! Break the wheel! Skew the statistics!

Reasons for divorce in Russia: statistics for 2020

Sergey Antonov

everyone is happy in marriage

Author profile

Alexey Smagin

never tried marriage

According to statistics, there are 7 divorces in Russia.

In 2020, 770. 8 thousand marriages and 564 thousand divorces were registered in Russia. If you look at opinion polls, then often, when talking about the reasons for the breakup, the ex-husband and wife use the vague wording "didn't get along." We studied official divorce statistics and research by scientists and tried to find out why marriages in Russia actually break up.

How often people get divorced

Over the past ten years, Russians have become less likely to get married, while the number of divorces has remained approximately the same. So, in 2006 in Russia there were more marriages than divorces, about 1.5 times, in 2011 - 2 times, and in 2020 - 1.4 times. Even the pandemic had almost no effect on the number of couples who decided to formalize the breakup: in a covid year, there were 7 divorces for 10 weddings.

For convenience, statistics consider the relative number of marriages (and divorces) in the same way as other indicators: divide the number of marriages in the region by the number of its inhabitants. If you see that in Russia there are 75 marriages per 10,000 people, you should know that there are 150 newlyweds for every 10,000 inhabitants.

Source: Rosstat Source: Rosstat

The number of marriages is affected by the birth rate in previous years. For example, in the eighties it was high, so the number of marriages grew until the end of the 2010s: a lot of people entered the so-called marriageable age - Russians most often get married at the age of 20-30. And in the nineties, the birth rate in the country fell by about one and a half times compared to the eighties. As a result, by 2020, the number of people at the age when Russians actively marry has also decreased.

Fragment of the HSE Annual Demographic Report for 2006PDF, 521 KB

In parallel, another factor also played a role. In Russia, as in many Western countries, the typical bride and groom are gradually "aging": the average age of marriage is growing. In 1993, the typical groom was 26.1, the bride 24.1. In 2016 - 30.1 and 27.7, respectively.

Fragment of the HSE Annual Demographic Report for 2017PDF, 668 KB

As a result, since 2012, the number of marriages has decreased by 1.8 times, and divorces by only 1.2 times.

The leaders in the number of divorces in 2020 are Sakhalin and the Magadan region: 51 divorces per 10,000 inhabitants. In third place is the Kaliningrad region: 50 per 10,000. Families break up least often in the national republics: for example, in Chechnya and Ingushetia, only 10 divorces per 10,000 inhabitants were registered.

What do Russians consider as a good reason for divorce

In 2019, VCIOM asked Russians what, in their opinion, is the most common reason for divorce in Russia. Respondents could select multiple answers. In the first place were financial factors — poverty and the inability to feed a family: 46% of respondents answered this way. In second place is the betrayal or jealousy of one of the spouses: 22%. On the third - lack of mutual understanding: 21%.

It is interesting that before that, for several years in a row, those who considered a difficult financial situation as a reason for divorce were two times less.

Source: VTsIOM Source: VTsIOM

As for adultery in marriage, according to another study, more than half of Russians consider it worthy of condemnation. And only 12% of the respondents said that there is nothing reprehensible in this. Moreover, according to opinion polls, the proportion of those who categorically condemn sex on the side has grown almost one and a half times over 30 years - from 35 to 52%.

Infidelity, same-sex relationships, abortion: taboo or norm? — research by VTsIOM

The number of people who say that there is nothing wrong with cheating also increased, but not significantly: from 9% in 1991 to 12% in 2018.

What else affects the strength of marriage

According to sociologists, there are and other factors that increase the likelihood of divorce. They are not as obvious as cheating or the unwillingness of one of the spouses to find a job. Sociologists analyze the divorce statistics of hundreds and even thousands of couples and come to the conclusion that there are hidden factors that increase the chance of a family breakup.

No children. According to the Institute of Demography of the Higher School of Economics, in the eighties and nineties, families with children accounted for more than 60% of the total number of divorces. By 2015, this figure fell one and a half times - to 41%.

Childless couples divorce more often — HSE study

Marriage age. With each year of marriage, the chance of divorce decreases. So, in couples who got married in 1980-1989, they thought about divorce 9.3% of men and 22.4% of women, and among those who registered relationships in 2000-2004 - 14.3 and 27.1%, respectively.

Who breaks up relationships more often and why — a study by the Higher School of Economics

Scientists explain this situation with purely psychological reasons: couples who started a family in the 2000s were at the beginning of a joint journey at the time of the study. They are just beginning to organize a joint life, distribute responsibilities, rub each other in. The likelihood of disagreement is much higher.

The high position of a wife. Swedish scientists came to the conclusion that couples divorce more often, where a woman was promoted in the service. Families in which the wife gets the post of CEO, mayor or parliamentarian are twice as likely to break up than those where the same position goes to the husband.

Single women: career advancement and marital longevity - American Economic Journal article, in English

According to the authors of the study, couples in such cases have increased conflicts that are associated with the changed social and economic position of the wife. And women also have less time for family leisure and housework, which also often affects the strength of relationships.

Views on marriage. But there are also studies, the authors of which claim that the reasons for divorce lie only in the life attitudes of the spouses themselves. Scientists from Volgograd State University, who have been studying marriages and divorces in Russia for several years, say that neither the well-being, nor the duration of the relationship, nor the difference in the age of the husband and wife affect the strength of the family. People of different ages, with different levels of education, rich and poor, married for one year and many years, with children and without children - the probability of divorce is about the same for everyone.

Causes of divorce in modern Russia — article by scientists Elena Laktyukhina and Georgy Antonov in the Demoscope magazine If the other half corresponds to these ideas, the couple will not divorce. Simply put, if the husband believes that he is a breadwinner, and the wife's role is to stay at home, and she agrees with him, then their values are the same and the marriage will be strong. If opinions do not match, it will fall apart. Moreover, according to the same study, a significant part of divorced people do not approve of divorce, that is, in fact, their own behavior.

Bitter for the young: why the number of divorces has increased in Russia | Articles

The number of divorces in Russia from January to May 2021 was a record for the last seven years. At the same time, against the background of the pandemic, the number of calls to sexologists and family psychologists has increased, experts said. The accumulated problems for some couples resulted in separation and mutual dislike. More details - in the material "Izvestia".

How many couples are getting divorced

The number of divorces in Russia from January to May 2021 increased by 44% compared to the same period last year, to 251.9 thousand , calculated the international audit and consulting network FinExpertiza.

The most active divorces were in Ingushetia (3.5 times more often, 383 divorces), Chechnya (2.7 times, 900 divorces), Dagestan (2.1 times; 2.5 thousand divorces), Karachayevo- Circassia and North Ossetia (2 times, 750 and 1000 divorces, respectively). The leadership of the North Caucasian regions is explained by the fact that the number of divorces there traditionally remains at a minimum level, so even their slight increase leads to sharp changes in dynamics.

Bitter for the young

Photo: RIA Novosti/Evgeny Odinokov

Despite the fact that in general, Russians entered into marriages more often (267.5 thousand) than divorced, in half of the regions divorces outnumbered marriages. This is most noticeable in the Leningrad region (31.2% more divorces than marriages), Kalmykia (22.9%), Saratov (20.3%), Penza (19%) and Ryazan regions (18% more). ,9%).

FinExpertiza experts explain the sharp increase in the number of divorces in the first half of 2021 by the fact that during the quarantine in 2020, Russians postponed divorce proceedings. Therefore, as soon as the registry offices returned to normal work, those who wanted to get a divorce began to catch up.

For the same reason, in 2021, the number of couples seeking to formally start a family increased by 30.1%.

Photo: FinExpertiza

Marriage and divorce statistics from January to March for the last 10 years

Residents of Kabardino-Balkaria (growth by 59.8%, 1.4 thousand marriages), Oryol region (+58.8%; 1.2 thousand marriages), Mordovia (+56.2%; 881 marriages), Moscow Region (+51.1%; 17.2 thousand marriages) and Kalmykia (+49,eight%; 349 marriages).

Divorce has become easier

Lawyer Viktoria Danilchenko also links the increase in indicators with the temporary closure of multifunctional centers and registry offices. In order to get a divorce, people had to wait for the end of the quarantine measures.

- For some, this time was saving, but someone brought their decision to the final and nevertheless got divorced as soon as such an opportunity arose. The situation is the same with marriage: someone changed their mind, and someone waited, having the opportunity to additionally check the relationship, Danilchenko explained. - Divorce and marriage statistics can show a fall and rise in separate time periods. However, the average values will remain within the normal range.

Over the past couple of decades, according to the lawyer, those who want to officially register the relationship have become somewhat less.

Bitter for the young

Photo: Depositphotos/HayDmitriy

— This does not mean that there are fewer families, just that there are more couples choosing cohabitation without going to the registry office. There is also some increase in the number of divorces. This is due to the revision of family values, especially on the part of the younger generation. People have become easier to relate to the fact that it is better to break up with a person than to endure some kind of inconvenience in marriage, - said the interlocutor.

According to Danilchenko, both men and women are equally often initiators. Among the main reasons for the dissolution of marriage, Danilchenko names adultery, financial difficulties, addiction to alcohol and drugs.

Divorce is a difficult process not only from a moral, but also from a legal point of view. Many after the breakup of personal relationships are waiting for disputes about the place of residence of children, the division of property. And if issues with children can be discussed only after the fact, amicably or through the courts, then the property issue is easily resolved in advance by concluding a marriage contract.

“Here the trend has become more positive in recent years,” the lawyer shared. “People are gradually ceasing to treat a prenuptial agreement as a sign of distrust between spouses. There comes an understanding that this is a convenient tool that allows you to save a lot of money, time and nerves.

Seek help from a psychologist

Any cataclysms are always a test of a family's strength, family psychologist Natalia Panfilova believes. For some, the pandemic provided an opportunity to strengthen their marriage — couples realized that living in a family is better, more convenient and more reliable. For others, the lockdown has only exacerbated relations.

— When people feel bad together, but they go to work and don't see each other, such relationships can drag on indefinitely. But during the period of self-isolation, claims that were smoothed out due to diversity and the ability to switch, just splashed out, says Panfilova.

According to the psychologist's observation, the number of sharp and intense calls has especially increased over the last year. Unusual processes began inside the family and previously hidden problems appeared.

Bitter for the young

Photo: Izvestiya/Konstantin Kokoshkin

— If people didn't know how to spend time together, then it was hard for them to sit in isolation. Couples were saved by the fact that the wife with children, for example, went for a walk, and the husband at that time was engaged in repairs. That is, everyone does something useful for the family, but at the same time they do not intersect. Or the grandmother took the children to some circle, the husband and wife at this time can relax, make love.

Sexologist Irina Ayriyants agrees: forced isolation has become stressful for some couples. This was reflected in the number of receptions.

- Attendance usually peaked a month after the restrictions were announced. Last summer, after a hard lockdown in April and May, when it became possible to accept patients online and offline, their number increased. It was the same this year. If earlier we saw two or three patients a day, then at the peak their number could double, triple . When they got used to the situation with restrictions, the number of visits also leveled off,” said Ayriyants.

If we talk about sexological trends in general, in the past, according to the expert, requests for specific technical sexual problems prevailed. Now the practice is shifting to the area of family psychotherapy. The question arises of the impossibility of being together, of misunderstanding why to maintain a relationship.

Judging by medical practice, before the age of 30, the initiator of divorce is mainly a woman, and later, closer to 40–50 years, a man, the interlocutor emphasizes.

Bitter for the young

Photo: RIA Novosti/Evgeny Odinokov

- At the same time, older women are more likely to seek help not from a sexologist, but from a family psychotherapist. To my great regret, I rarely see them at receptions. The problem of female sexuality, premenopausal, menopausal periods in our country is not developed. Women after 50 do not disappear for society, as Zhvanetsky wrote. They stay, and they should also have a personal life.

Men, in turn, bring a woman to an appointment not with a desire to get a divorce, but with a desire to improve and diversify their intimate life.

Learn more