Words for lack of confidence
10 Words People Who Lack Confidence Always Use
This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources, and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.
Nine-hundred and seventy-two.
That’s the total number of e-mails I received just in May, and it’s about my average. That’s not counting the hundreds and hundreds of messages Gmail dumped into categories for promotional mail, forum posts, and social networking updates. I’ve become proficient at jumping through messages quickly (using the J and K keys), but there’s one thing I’ve mastered even more than that: spotting a lack of confidence.
I also take quite a few cold calls–people who are not really sure what I do and have not really done too much research but have me on a phone list for some reason.
In most cases, it’s a pitch about a product or someone asking a question about marketing to journalists. He or she might say he or she “usually” does something. In a few cases, it’s someone with a business idea he or she “suspects” will be perfect. Most of the time, these messages are straightforward–the sender isn’t messing around. But a few seem hesitant. I fire back a question, and the response makes me question the person’s authority on the subject.
These words are not always triggers about confidence level, but they are my first signal that something is amiss. They make me think the sender is not that sure about the product or service. And they are dead giveaways that I need to question what the person says.
1.
MightBe careful when you tell people you “might” do something. Are you sure about that? No one is asking you to solve world peace. When you say you “might” finish a report, it implies you lack some ability, don’t manage your time well, or have too many priorities.
2.
Won’tHere’s an obvious word to avoid in your emails. Anyone who says he or she “won’t” do something or “won’t” attend a meeting is generating a negative vibe.
Be more decisive: Either accept an invitation or reject it; using the word won’t suggests hesitancy.
3.
UsuallyThis is a trigger word in email that makes it obvious to everyone that you don’t have all the facts. If you say the accounting department “usually” doesn’t approve your expense report or the boss is “usually” late to work, it means you’re stretching the truth.
4.
SuspectUnless you are talking about a suspect in a trial, avoid saying you “suspect” anything. You’re not Sherlock Holmes. Just use direct terms: You know an investor is pulling out of the project, and here’s why; or you have facts to support your conclusion on a new marketing plan.
5.
ImpossibleI’ll bet Mark Zuckerberg has never used the word impossible in an email. The recipient will lose confidence in you quickly. State why something might be hard or difficult or just don’t agree to a course of action. Don’t bother telling people it’s impossible.
6.
WorriedWe all worry about the stresses of life. Telling people you are worried by email makes it seem as if you lack confidence in your abilities. If you are worried, don’t bother saying that to anyone–just express what you are concerned about and offer solutions.
7.
ConfusedExpressing your confusion will create even more confusion. It’s better to just say what you are confused about and ask questions. Saying you are “confused” gives people the impression that either you don’t understand something or that the topic is confusing to you.
8.
NeedWe all have needs in life. When you express those needs by email over and over again, it makes you look needy. I “need” you to come to work early, I “need” you to get that report done. Avoid saying “need” and express requirements more directly.
9.
QuandaryHave you sent a message and said you were in a “quandary”? You should know that the word means you are in a total state of perplexity.
I mean, you are really perplexed. That’s not often the case when it comes to a new business proposal or fundraising round.
10.
LikelyFew of us are in the business of predicting the future. If you say something is “likely” in an email, you are expressing to the recipient that you are not really sure about the topic, and you don’t have all the facts yet. It’s likely that you just lack confidence.
More from Inc:
The Psychological Price of Entrepreneurship
7 Ways to Lose Friends and Your Influence at Work
The Seemingly Harmless Act That Leads to High Employee Turnover
Simple Ways to Deal With Negative People
How to Be More Likable in 10 Easy Steps
Contact us at [email protected].
lack of confidence collocation | meanings and examples of use
These words are often used together. Click on the links below to explore the meanings. Or, see other collocations with lack
or confidence.
These examples are from corpora and from sources on the web. Any opinions in the examples do not represent the opinion of the Cambridge Dictionary editors or of Cambridge University Press or its licensors.
They often attribute their difficulty in walking to a lack of confidence or a fear of falling and, not surprisingly, major falls commonly occur.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
These concerns included lack of confidence in certification and doubts about the ability to produce sufficient food without synthetic fertilizers and chemicals.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Additionally, their lack of confidence in influencing their own offspring (see below) might have discouraged them from trying to make a difference in civic affairs.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
But given the lack of confidence with which any such story can be affirmed, the non-consequentialist cannot choose either option without giving hostages to fortune.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
The 65-79 years age group was reported as being most likely to require assistance because of a lack of confidence and age/frailty.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Alternatively, this ' conservative ' behaviour could reflect a lack of confidence in their ' risky ' decisions, perhaps suggesting that reward-reinforcement systems may also be compromised in mania.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
The market could interpret a decision not to join as evidence of the government's lack of confidence in its own currency.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Perhaps such relations are mediated by a lack of confidence in one's memory.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
More women than men expressed discomfort with driving, lack of confidence and relief when they stopped.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
This assessment shows the significant increase in cases challenging state court verdicts, reflecting the lack of confidence in electoral institutions at the subnational level.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Moreover, in primary schools the subject leader will often be addressing an acknowledged lack of confidence in teaching music by others whom they will support.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Second, undecidedness in choosing geographical areas as key positions for identity formation created a lack of confidence.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Patients express spiritual need with discernible cues such as fear, despair, feeling useless, feeling isolated, and lack of confidence.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Its gradual disappearance as a research instrument reflects a lack of confidence in its psychometric properties.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
The removal of autonomy leads to a lack of confidence, and there is evidence to suggest that music teachers no longer trust their own convictions.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
This appeared to be a result of his lack of confidence in what he had produced.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
As mentioned earlier, children's lack of confidence may mediate the relation between suggestibility and age.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
What becomes clear in the survey is "an increasing lack of confidence in national political institutions" (p. 846).
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Those were heady times, made more acute and often fretful by the lack of confidence in where things might go.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
That it has taken place initially through religious forms is itself a symptom of self-consciousness' lack of confidence.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
This produces an acute lack of confidence.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
Indeed, a distinct lack of confidence is exhibited, reflecting perhaps an insecure and uncertain political positioning.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
It was not a lack of confidence in others but his defence against himself.
From the Cambridge English Corpus
These examples are from corpora and from sources on the web.
Any opinions in the examples do not represent the opinion of the Cambridge Dictionary editors or of Cambridge University Press or its licensors.
10 Expressions That Show Your Insecurity
There are many ways to gain confidence, and one of them is to start looking and acting confident. You independently create an attractive image, which you then get used to: first, external confidence appears, and then a deep and comfortable inner feeling of your own strength, charm, energy, and reliability develops. In a word, that complex phenomenon is formed, which is usually called "belief in oneself." And you can start small, for example, with your own speech: exclude some words from it. Here are 10 phrases that you need to forget immediately and forever.
1. "I don't understand", "I can't figure it out", "I'm confused" / "confused".
Bravo! An extremely poor choice of wording, even if you really didn’t understand something. First, you have just admitted your failure.
Secondly, they shifted all responsibility to another person (the one they did not understand). You could do it with a guilty look, or you could show aggression, but the essence is the same: you turned away from the problem. Instead, try approaching a difficult question from a different angle. Say: "Help me figure it out", "Let's go in order", "I need to clarify something else in order to understand your position." If you do not understand something and need additional information - just say so, no need to panic and throw a white flag.
2. “Do you understand what I mean?”, “Yes?”, “Really?”.
Such wording is a kind of request for approval, approval, seeking support. Carefully follow yourself: has this turned into a parasitic speech construction for you? If you end half of your phrases with an obsessive and ingratiating “So?”, and you don’t even realize this, then you are unlikely to impress others as a self-confident, clear and sober-minded person.
3. "As if".
The parasitic "as if" came into fashion a few years ago - and since then it has safely gone out of it, but at the same time it has become firmly established in the speech of many people, pretending to be a significant turnover. Do you think that your "as if" really has any meaning? Does it convey some important connotation? You deliberately tried to emphasize the nuance: not “I was scared,” but “I kind of got scared” - they say, not that it’s completely true, rather, maybe pretend or almost ... Well, what nonsense! You see for yourself - the justification sounds like baby talk. Speak clearly and definitely exactly what you want to say, without any "as if" or "sort of". In most cases, your interlocutor is indifferent to subtle nuances, but he will definitely notice that you are mumbling.
4. "Uh, well, you get the idea."
No, they didn't understand! And even more than that: no one understood why you just said that. To fill an awkward pause? Alas, it only got worse.
If you have such speech habits, get rid of them without pity or delay. If not, just in case, check if you have the courage not to fill the pauses with anything at all. Learn to be quiet and firm. Voids in a conversation appear and disappear in the most natural way, no need to try to fill them with strained lowing or meaningless nonsense. Better just remember some funny thing and smile heartily: it will not be superfluous even in the most formal setting.
5. "Oh, I've been so busy," or "I didn't see your letter," or "I kind of started writing back to you, but I probably forgot to send it...".
No need for pathetic excuses - they are ridiculous and ridiculous, especially if you are lying. There are no convincing excuses: everyone has had to make excuses at some time, and everyone knows very well what it looks like, so don't expect to deceive anyone. There is nothing to be shy and afraid of, an awkward situation has already happened. Acknowledge it and move on, and say out loud, "Sorry for the inconvenience.
You'll get an answer tomorrow / in two hours / as soon as we figure it out."
6. "It's worth it to be simpler / get out of your comfort zone...".
... straight to retirement. Forget all these words, they are hopelessly hackneyed. Any of your interlocutors has heard and even said them so often that when you say them - for the thousand and first time - he sees you open your mouth, but hears the hiss of the TV tuned to an empty channel. If you have nothing more to say, ask yourself who and why are you even trying to reason with. Maybe it's time to get out of your comfort zone or, at worst, to become easier?
7. "You always do that!"
The categorical "always", "forever", "permanently", "only this" looks like a generalization from scratch - even when the place is actually not so empty. It seems that you are drawing large-scale conclusions and building abstract pictures - instead of analyzing, delving into, making concrete conclusions. In addition, this can offend the interlocutor, so it is unlikely to lead to a healthy equal dialogue.
Build your argument differently: first draw attention to particular aspects, and then draw a line and draw conclusions, but not in an extremely generalized ("always" / "never") form.
8. "Yeah, I also feel like we should do something like *** or something like that."
Ah, this seductive language of meaningful examples from someone else's experience, oh, this water poured everywhere instead of specifics! This will not work. Take the trouble to formulate your thought in the form of clear and definite orders, instructions, recommendations or suggestions before expressing it at all. Do not be afraid to bring up your own ideas for discussion and do not rush to agree with other speakers or refer to someone else's experience: after all, everyone can do this, and your own judgment is much more valuable for a productive dialogue, and for your reputation, and even for your self-esteem.
9. "You are a good person, but...", "I respect you as a person, but...", "It's hard for me to say this, but.
..". Do not be hypocritical. Are you going to criticize someone? Reprimand? Refuse? Well, do not try to smooth the impression by hiding the essence of the matter under a layer of tinsel. Firstly, you will still say what you are going to say now, your interlocutor will hear you perfectly, and what you said before will no longer matter. Secondly, these constructions like “I respect you as a person” are not so polite (it doesn’t matter if you are going to criticize someone’s professionalism or simply refuse a man who shows his interest in you too obtrusively). Who even told you it was diplomatic? Be calm and neutral, do not raise your voice, do not be rude, do not condemn, do not give harsh assessments, argue criticism, do not be too categorical, do not generalize - this will be the best, most understandable sign of respect. You will be understood, and there is no need to try to soften the blow.
10. "Really?"
This question only takes everyone's time: it's not even a question.
Think about what they can say to you? "No it is not true"? This looks like extortion, an attempt to squeeze exaggerated confirmation out of the interlocutor ("Of course, it's true!"). Emotional extortion usually annoys people, even if they don't realize it themselves. It doesn't help your credibility either. Instead, develop the habit of joking or sharing your own light observations aloud: this does not require deep digging, a couple of words will be enough to refresh the conversation and give it a new, perhaps more interesting twist.
Sometimes speech habits are difficult to correct: after all, we are not always as well aware of what and how we say, as we ourselves think. Still, the result is worth the effort! Correct, clear, understandable and persuasive speech is the key to your image of a confident person, and at the same time a rarity in our time. It is worth a little work on yourself - and you will learn to make a huge impression on others, and every conversation with you will be a pleasure for your interlocutors.
Good luck! Ten words that betray self-doubt - Knife
I received 972 emails this month, about the same as last month. This is not counting the hundreds of emails that Gmail dumps into separate folders - replies to my messages, social media updates and advertising junk.
I've mastered the art of navigating email using the J and K keys, but there's one thing I've gotten even better at—I've learned to recognize lack of self-confidence.
In most cases, someone tries to tell me about their product or a journalist calls me asking for a comment on a question related to my professional area - marketing. Sometimes there are “cold calls” from those I don’t know, and it only takes me a couple of minutes to understand whether this is a call from a specialist to a specialist or my number was just in the database that was given to the employee.
Often they report that they are "generally" doing something. Sometimes someone talks about a business idea that is "expected" to work.
There are also quite timid calls and letters that make me doubt whether the interlocutor understands at least a little about what we are talking about.
How do I determine this? There are words with which you can easily understand how confident a person is in himself, in his competence and in the quality of the product that he wants to sell you. If they are present in the letter, for me this is a clear signal: something is wrong. Even if the sender is not sure about their product or idea, I certainly shouldn’t waste time on it.
I can
Don't rush to tell people you "can" do something. No one is asking you to make world peace, and for specific questions about doable things, it is better to answer not “I can do X”, but “I will do X”. When you promise that you "could" finish a report by a deadline, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of it - which means you doubt your skills, don't know how to manage your time, or you have better things to do.
Hardly
A word that should definitely be avoided in business correspondence. Anyone who says they are "unlikely to do anything" or "unlikely to come to a meeting" elicits instant dislike. Accept the offer or refuse, explaining the reason - and you will look more advantageous compared to the "polite" mumbling, which only increases uncertainty.
Generally/usually
This word makes it obvious to the addressee that you don't have enough facts on hand or that you are resorting to comforting self-deception. When you write that accounting "generally" didn't approve your expense report, or that your boss is "usually" late for work, you're either exaggerating or minimizing the truth.
I suspect
If you are not an investigator from the prosecutor's office, stop "suspecting" anything. Do not hide behind the fog of words, speak directly. A reliable source said that the investor is preparing to leave the project? Do you have concrete facts that justify your new new marketing plan? Say so.
Impossible
I bet Mark Zuckerberg never used the word "impossible" in his emails. After such an answer, the recipient instantly stops believing in you. Instead, explain why it would be difficult to do, or simply refuse to follow the proposed scheme. But don't waste people's time reporting something that is "impossible".
I'm worried
We're all worried about something. By reporting your concern in an email, you make the recipient doubt your competence. Don't communicate your emotions - just outline a potential problem and offer solutions.
I have doubts
The story of doubts leads to more doubts. It is better to simply ask for clarification of a question that you do not understand, or state your arguments against. When you write that you are "doubtful", it seems that you either do not understand the topic enough, or you are not very interested in it.
Need
We all need something.
