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When husband takes you for granted


How To Make Him Worry About Losing You

Relationships[1] are tricky and require effort, love, respect, and mutual appreciation. However, romantic relationships can get trickier because both partners must be on the same page with mutual admiration, honesty, and respect. Firstly, the relationship outline [1] is not good as it takes me for granted. Because it is difficult to determine who loves who is more in a relationship, our partner often takes us for granted. Therefore does this sound familiar? 

 

“

He Takes Me For Granted” 

Although feeling that “he takes me for granted” can easily pop up in any woman’s head. But also, in some cases, not just partners but even friends, family, and colleagues can take you for granted. Firstly, we understand how hurtful that is but have you ever wondered why your partner might be taking you for granted? When you say he takes me for granted, it means he doesn’t appreciate or value you enough. However, it might mean a lack of gratitude or expressing their love or appreciation for you.

No matter how selfless and giving you are, you are bound to expect love, gratitude, appreciation, and praise. as a human being in a relationship[2]. However, what if your partner does not do these things? Let’s delve a bit more into why he may take you for granted and what you can do to save your relationship because of love.

 

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Why Does He Take Me For Granted?

Therefore here are a few reasons to answer the question: “Why does he take me for granted?”

  • You love him too much.

Believe it or not, expressing your love[3] in excess can make your partner take you for granted as they begin thinking that no matter what, you will never leave them. It may be time to rethink!

  • He practically rules your life.

If your partner has the power to make you smile, cry, be angry, and be happy, it is a sign that you are weak before them, causing him to take you for granted.

  • You are very compliant and adjusting.

Women who are overly emotional, adjusting, and submissive are often taken for granted by their partners in relationships. 

  • You do not care about credits.

If you are one of those who care a lot for someone but do not expect it, it is time to become wiser. Your lack of expectation can make your partner take you for granted. 

  • Lack of self-confidence[4]

When you lack confidence, it gives others a chance to dominate you, including your partner. If this sounds like you, that may be your answer to “Who do I feel like he takes me for granted?”

How to Know If He Takes Me For Granted?

We often fail to see that our partners take us for granted unless someone points it out to us. Here are some signs that could mean your partner is taking you for granted:

  • Your partner does not treat you with respect.
  • There is a lack of acknowledgement or appreciation for something you did.
  • If he makes plans without you or your knowledge.
  • Your opinions do not matter to him.
  • He makes you feel insignificant.
  • There are frequent occurrences where he insults you or makes you feel worthless.
  • He stopped dressing up well in front of you like in earlier days.
  • He ignores you when you talk (a red flag in your relationship).
  • He prioritizes his friends over you.
  • There is hesitancy or lack of intimacy.
  • He is reluctant to introduce you to his family. 

Does This Mean He Doesn’t Love Me?

Have you ever wondered, “partner takes me for granted – does this mean he doesn’t love me?” It sets off a vicious cycle of trying to please their partner, becoming clingy, being available all the time, overtly expressing their love, etc. It makes the man even more complacent about the relationship and tends to take his girlfriend or wife for granted even more. 

If your partner takes you for granted, it does not necessarily mean he doesn’t love you. He may take you for granted for many reasons, and understanding the reason is the best way to resolve this issue. If your partner does feel there is a lack of love from his side or your repeated attempts at changing his behaviour go in vain, it may be advisable to go for couple or marriage therapy.

Should I Leave Him or Walk Away If He Takes Me For Granted? 

If your boyfriend or husband takes you for granted, leaving him should not be on top of your list of things to do. We understand it can be insulting and frustrating, but ending a relationship should never be the first move, because there are many ways to resolve this issue, beginning with effective communication. 

However, discussing with your partner is often enough for him to see how he has been behaving, thereby changing it. Because everyone deserves a chance, and you should give your partner one too to allow him to be better. At the same time, you must try to remove factors that may contribute to making him feel your importance and value. 

Despite all these efforts, if your partner refuses to change his behaviour or continues to take you for granted, it may be a good idea to walk away and end the relationship for your good and his!

“I Want to Teach Him a Lesson”: How to Make Him Worry About Losing You

While it is nice to be polite and adjust with your partner, there must be a fine line between loving them and allowing them to take you for granted. Moreover, being too clingy or excessively worrying about your partner leaving you is also unhealthy for a relationship. Therefore if your partner takes you for granted, sometimes making them worry about losing you is a good idea to reignite the spark in your relationship. Now, here are some handy tips you can try! 

  • Hence, Don’t always be available for him; play hard to get
  • Firstly, talk about plans for the future when he isn’t there
  • Secondly, please do not jump to answer his call or be prompt to reply to his messages; let him wait and expect
  • Spend time with yourself
  • Add a few new sex moves
  • Be social and flirtatious in front of him. No man can stand jealousy!
  • Don’t be clingy
  • Avoid pleasing him all the time
  • Be independent in every way
  • Spend time with your family and friends

Now, these will make your partner appreciate you more and worry about losing you.

How to Stop Him From Taking Me For Granted?

Hence, being in a relationship requires some maturity from both partners. Therefore, here are some ways to stop him from taking you for granted:

  • Communicate: Express your concerns to him and be vocal about how you feel. Because you may need to cite some examples if your partner cannot understand where you are coming from and what is your feelings.
  • Focus on yourself: Now, Shift your attention to yourself rather than pampering him with all the love and attention. When he notices that you are enjoying yourself, even without him, this might get him thinking and hooked on you again. Don’t be stressed. Try to live stress-free, so if you feel you may, go to an online therapist for stress. Practise meditation also.
  • Give him a taste of his medicine: After that, sometimes, a “tit for tat” works better than accessible communication. Therefore, if you have problems, go to an online therapist because the counsellor will guide you to overcome this problem.
  • Give Space to your relationship: Always give yourself and your partner space in the connection. Because it might help him realize your importance in his life. Even if you feel more problems, you may undergo an online couples compatibility test. 

 

If you are experiencing trouble in your marriage, consult expert counsellors at United We Care! 

References:

  1. Wikipedia contributors, “Outline of relationships,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 19-Jan-2022. [Online]. Available: 
  2. Wikipedia contributors, “Relationship,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 19-Apr-2022. [Online]. Available: 
  3. Wikipedia contributors, “Love,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 12-Jul-2022. [Online]. Available: 
  4. Wikipedia contributors, “Self-esteem,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 13-Jul-2022. [Online]. Available:
  5. E. Zerubavel, Taken for granted: The remarkable power of the unremarkable. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2018.
  6. P. Quattrone and T. Hopper, “What does organizational change mean? Speculations on a taken-for-granted category
  7. ,” Manag. A. Res., vol. 12, no. 4, pp. 403–435, 2001.
  8. R. Howitt, “Unsettling the taken (for granted),” Prog. Hum. Geogr., vol. 44, no. 2, pp. 193–215, 2020.

15 Signs Your Spouse Takes You For Granted And Doesn't Care

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Time, emotions and effort are the pillars on which a relationship rests. However, so many people live with the constant nagging feeling that their partner neither appreciates nor acknowledges anything they do for the relationship, let alone makes an effort from their end. If that’s how you feel in your relationship, it’s a sign your spouse may be taking you for granted.

If you feel like, “My spouse takes me for granted,” then chances are all your loving, kind, caring thoughts and actions go unnoticed by your spouse. Once you start feeling alone in the marriage, it can deal a blow to your self-esteem.

A sense of indifference is usually the first sign of being taken for granted in your marriage. Even so, it can be hard to spot. Now that you’ve landed here reading this article, you’re already one step closer to learning about the signs and figuring out what to do about them. Let’s get right to it!

What Does It Mean When Someone Takes You For Granted?

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When someone dismisses all your efforts as “routine” and does not appreciate the things you do for them and the relationship, you’re being taken for granted. You’ll be treated in a thoughtless, thankless and indifferent manner. On the other hand, a healthy relationship is about grand gestures, landmark events and celebrating milestones.

It is the small and seemingly insignificant gestures of everyday life that sustain a connection between two partners, make their journey easier and their bond stronger. If your everyday acts of kindness are seen as “duties” or as “expectations being fulfilled” by you, it can start chipping away at even the strongest relationships.

And yet, the feeling of being taken for granted in a relationship isn’t uncommon. In fact, many women approach relationship counselors with this issue of being taken for granted rocking the boat of marital bliss. In a majority of cases, it is the wives who claim they feel unappreciated despite having tried to connect with their husbands for years, but to no avail.

That’s what happened to Jacob and Marie. Jacob used to chip in with the cooking, but over the past few years, Marie couldn’t even remember the last time he’d stepped into the kitchen. “He used to be so kind, I never thought I’d see the day my husband takes me for granted,” said Marie to a friend.

“I feel like it’s expected of me to make all his meals for him, without ever even being thanked for them. He used to make me feel so special, all I feel now is invalidated,” she added. When your husband takes you for granted, just like in Marie’s case, it can start eating away at you.

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Often, by the time such couples seek professional help, they’re done with the relationship and considering a divorce. Even though it’s more pronounced in marriages, the problem can take root in any romantic relationship.

However, it’s important to understand that perhaps your spouse may not even know the damage they’re causing. If you don’t communicate how you’re feeling to them, they may never be able to figure out what they’re doing wrong, hence never solving the issues.

So, if you’ve been saying things like, “My wife takes me for granted, what should I do?” or “I’m being taken for granted by husband,” the following signs can help you figure out if you actually are, and what you need to do about it.

Related Reading: 12 Tips For Married Couples To Split Finances

15 Signs Your Spouse Takes You For Granted

If you’ve been feeling underappreciated in your relationship, here are 15 signs your spouse takes you for granted even if your partner vehemently denies your claim. For those of you still treading a grey area and unsure whether your partner is taking you for granted or not, if you are overthinking the whole thing, here are 15 sure-fire signs to look out for.

1. Your spouse does not keep in touch

Communication is the key link that holds any two people together in a relationship. If your spouse shows no interest in talking to you, calling or texting regularly, it is a sign that they’re ignoring you. As a result, you’re bound to say something like, “My spouse takes me for granted.”

That can be a very difficult place to be in, in a relationship. A partner who values you will make time for you no matter how busy their schedule and irrespective of whose company they’re in. It’s best to face this unpleasant sign of being taken for granted rather than sit and watch the connection wither away.

A married woman whose husband was from Canada once narrated to me the heart-crushing tale of being in a one-sided marriage. Her husband’s phone calls to her began to decline steadily as soon as he returned to Canada after the wedding.

For four years, she kept waiting to see him and for her visa to come through. When her family finally intervened, all she got was defiant rejection with her husband saying he was neither interested in staying with her nor ready to officially divorce her.

Sure, this is the absolute worst-case scenario of taking a spouse for granted, but it’s still something that’s possible if left unchecked for the longest time.

2. Your partner does not value your opinions

Partners who connect on an emotional level and cultivate intellectual intimacy value each other’s opinions above all else. From the smallest decisions, such as making a purchase for the household, to big, life-altering moves such as switching careers or changing jobs, they sit together with their partner and talk it through.

If that’s missing from your relationship and instead of seeking your opinion, your partner tends to dismiss them with contempt, it is a definite red flag that should not be ignored.

Perhaps, years of compliance on your end has somehow given your spouse the idea that you will just yield to their wishes and thus not ask for your perspective or opinion about things.

3. Your spouse forgets relationship milestones and special occasions

Your partner probably forgets about relationship milestones

A friend of mine had just gotten married. It was her first birthday after the wedding and she was expecting her husband to make a grand gesture or organize a celebration to make her feel special like he did while they were dating. The man, however, completely forgot the occasion. Got up, got dressed for work and left the house.

She didn’t receive any calls or texts from him all day and even when he returned home in the evening, he had no inkling what day it was. When the wife expressed her displeasure, he picked a fight with her instead of being remorseful about the gaffe.

If you are the only one who remembers relationship milestones and special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries while your spouse forgets about them, it is a classic sign he is taking you for granted. Your partner’s forgetfulness can be interpreted as a lack of interest in the relationship, which might induce relationship anxiety in you.

4. Your partner avoids doing their share of work

Taking someone for granted is the worst thing you can do. Splitting chores, errands and household duties is an essential component of a relationship, especially for cohabitating couples.

If one of the partners suddenly becomes sloppy about doing their bit for the home that you both share and just lets things slide without guilt, it’s a reflection of how they feel about the relationship. They’re dropping the ball, and it’s now up to you to decide whether you want to make your peace with it or take a stand for yourself.

5. Your spouse does not give you time

Work demands, and domestic and social responsibilities can make life hectic and exhausting. In the thick of it all, it is absolutely alright for a person to not feel up to engaging in elaborate conversations. Sometimes one just wants to watch sloppy television and switch off their brains.

But if this pattern has become routine, irrespective of what day of the week it is or how much free time your partner has had at their disposal, it’s a sign that you’re growing apart in your marriage.

If you are not spending quality time together and you feel, “My spouse takes me for granted,” then you are not wrong in your thought process at all.

The situation can become especially hurtful if they can make time for everyone else – friends, family, co-workers, kids – but you. If that is the case, there is no doubt that you’re being taken for granted.

Related Reading: 5 Red Flags Women Overlooked In A Failed Romantic Relationship

6. You hardly communicate with each other

Forget making phone calls or exchanging texts when you’re not together, if your partner cannot be bothered to have a conversation with you when you’re right in front of them, it’s a cause for concern and the health of your relationship may be taking a hit.

When all your efforts to improve communication in the relationship are either ignored or met with cold, harsh responses, you can either choose to work on your relationship or choose to walk out. But don’t stay stuck in the rut, as it will start taking a toll on your mental well-being and self-esteem.

7. You are always the one initiating plans and vacations

In the world of dating, a lack of initiative from the other person when making plans is considered a lack of interest, and that is always a telling red flag most people factor in when deciding on the course of the relationship. It shouldn’t be any different in a long-term committed relationship or a marriage either.

If the onus of planning travel adventures, getaways and vacations to carve out some quality time with your partner or your family falls squarely on you, the writing is on the wall: you’re being taken for granted.

“My wife puts me last,” Jacob told us, talking about his marriage of three years, that looked to be on the rocks. “She’ll consider plans with her friends more important than her plans with me, and it always feels like I’m the absolute last person she gives her attention to – if there’s any left to give,” he adds.

A lot of times, people who have emotionally checked out of the relationship, don’t even take the trouble of helping out in executing the plans that their partner has made. This is a sure-shot sign he is taking you for granted and perhaps a sign of a failing marriage. This can cause a great deal of resentment and frustration, which ends up marring the whole experience of taking a break together even when you do manage to pull it off single-handedly.

8. Your spouse never compliments you

A compliment here, a look laden with desire there, these little things keep the spark alive in any couple’s life. 

Consider this scenario: you’re both getting ready to go out, and you put on a dress that your spouse has always loved on you, but they don’t even notice it, let alone admire you. And even when you draw their attention to it, they just can’t bring themselves to compliment you.

It may sting to admit, but it’s a clear indicator that your partner may not be into you anymore. They may still stick around because the relationship is old and comfortable or there are kids involved, but that connection between you both is snapping more and more each day.

9. Your partner is aggressive and fights most of the time

Fights and relationships are like the two sides of a coin, one cannot exist without the other. That said, there is a fine line between healthy arguments and scarring fights. When a partner takes the other for granted, that line gets cross and it begins to seem as if there’s nothing you can do to make them happy.

Dealing with a cranky husband more often than not, and finding yourself at the receiving end of extremely aggressive and critical behavior, is a tell-tale sign that all is not well in your paradise.

Related Reading: 11 Signs The Marriage Is Over For Men

10.

Romance disappears from your relationship

A woman who had been married for eight years once reached out to our relationship experts to share how the lack of romance and affection was affecting her married life and that she felt tired of trying.

Apart from displaying all other classic signs of a partner taking the other for granted such as not helping around the house, picking fights over small things, not celebrating special occasions and not valuing the spouse, there was a total absence of emotional affection and romance in the marriage. That’s what seemed to bother this woman the most.

Romantic gestures are a must for the sustenance of any relationship. Of course, as you and your relationship mature, the expressions of romance and affection change to, and that’s only natural. Your partner may no longer bring you flowers or shower you with gifts every now and then, but a kiss planted on the forehead, cuddling up while watching TV can go a long way in letting you know that you’re loved.

If that’s missing from your relationship and your partner dismisses the idea of romantic gestures as childish and immature, it’s another box checked in the long list of ways you’re being taken for granted.

11. You do not feel satisfied sexually

She is not satisfied sexually

It’s not as if the sex is missing from your relationship altogether, but the equation of physical intimacy is that your partner expects you to please them in bed, but never returns the favor. If it’s starting to feel like your sex life is all about fulfilling your partner’s desires while you are left high and dry every single time, it’s a sign that screams you’re being taken for granted.

12. Your spouse flirts with other people in front of you

It is an extremely hurtful experience to watch your spouse, who has no energy or intent to invest in your relationship, using their suave charm to flirt with someone else right in front of you.

Such a situation arises only when your spouse takes for granted that you will be okay with such behavior or when it doesn’t even cross their minds that this may impact you negatively. This can also qualify as a sign of emotional abuse which you must not suffer silently.

It’s extremely humiliating for you if they are flirting knowing full well it’s hurting you. It’s not only a sign they take you for granted, but also a sign of lack of respect.

Related Reading: 9 Problems Almost Every Couple Faces During The First Year Of Marriage

13. You are no longer your partner’s priority

Friends, family, hobbies and work have become more important to your partner than you. Whenever it is about choosing between you and the other important things in their life, the odds are naturally stacked against you.

If this is the accepted norm in your relationship, it may well be time to wake up and smell the coffee. If your needs, feeling and aspirations are not being prioritized, then it is a sign your partner is taking you for granted.

14. Your partner expects you to work according to their wishes

While nothing your partner does is run by you even once, they expect you to comply with their every wish, and act according to their whims and fancies.

From your professional decisions to personal ones, they want to control the narrative of your life and any indication of defiance can lead to fights or, worse still, ultimatums of walking out on the relationship.  It’s the sign of a selfish husband or wife who takes you for granted.

15. Your spouse makes no effort to impress you

Every relationship goes through that transition from when you both always looked your best, knocking each other’s socks off, to a point where you’re comfortable being around your significant other in your PJs and sweat pants. That’s called progress in a relationship.

Yet, every so often, spouses do put in an effort to dress up to impress each other, especially on special occasions. If your partner makes no such effort at all, it may be a sign that they’re not afraid of losing you.

How To Stop Being Taken For Granted In A Relationship?

There are some strategies you can adopt to stop being taken for granted. If you are saying, “My spouse takes me for granted,” then chances are it is because you are allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat. Those who tolerate any sort of misbehavior end up fanning it.

There are times it’s important that you stand up for yourself, make your spouse understand your worth and ensure they do not take you for granted. When you’re not sure about how you can do that or what you need to say, we list out a few things you should do.

1. Say “No” when you have to

We are wired to say “Yes” to everything. Saying “No” comes with a sense of guilt, especially in a romantic partnership. But if you don’t want to be taken for granted then learn to say “No.”

Jason and Molina had been married for more than a decade. Back in the day, Molina would make sure she appreciated Jason every time he took time away from his busy schedule to do things around the house like general upkeep. It was almost expected that every weekend, Jason would mow the grass, take care of the deck and clean out the basement.

“She expects me to do these things for her without ever batting an eye or even acknowledging them. It feels as though my wife puts me last, and I wasn’t going to have it,” Jason told us. Only after he didn’t mow the lawn or clean the basement one weekend, did Molina pay any attention to it.

What followed was an amicable conversation about how he never felt like she appreciated all he did which left him feeling invalidated. Since they started the dialogue in order to arrive at a solution, they were able to avoid any harsh fights.

Instead of jumping in and saying something like, “I do everything for my wife and get nothing in return,” Jason made sure his point of view was heard by not putting it across in a rude manner. It’s important to remember that while you say “No,” you mustn’t do so with all the pent-up aggression in the world.

You can learn to say “No” to her relatives visiting you when you have work deadlines to keep up with. You can say “No to sex” without hurting him if you are not up to it. It’s perfectly fine, but it must be done so amicably.

Related Reading: What Does It Mean When Someone Ignores You?

2.

Do not be at their beck and call

We love to do things for our partners, but unknowingly to ourselves, we find ourselves at their beck and call, and so they start taking us for granted.

“Have you ironed my shirt?” Here it is! “Have you warmed the food?” Here it is! “Have you put the kids to sleep?” Yes, it’s done. “Get me my laptop from upstairs.” Here you are.

Don’t let your relationship go this way. Your partner can definitely ask you to do something, but don’t let it be one-way traffic. You’ll end up saying things like, “I’m being taken for granted by my husband, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

3. Do not cancel your plans to accommodate their plans

You have to go out with the boys, but your wife starts creating a fuss about it saying she wanted to go for dinner instead. Promise to take her the next day, but do not drop your plans.

Your wife has to realize that your friends are important too and you enjoy your time with them. She has to respect that and give you your space. If you give in to her demands every time then you will be taken for granted, surely.

However, make sure you let her know that in a calm and kind manner. Don’t make her feel as though you’re taking her for granted, lest she end up saying things like, “My husband takes me for granted because he never respects our plans, and it feels like there’s a lack of mutual respect.”

It’s a difficult thing to navigate, but your heart will tell you what you need to do. If it feels like your partner expects you to drop all your plans for them, you must let them know that’s not the case. But if you’re always blowing them off for your friends, perhaps them saying things like, “My husband takes me for granted,” is warranted.

Your spouse makes no effort to impress you

4. Do what makes you happy

We get so entrenched in making others happy that we forget about what makes us happy. We lose ourselves in our pursuit of happiness for others and then become frustrated and bitter because we do not focus on our own happiness.

There is nothing selfish in trying to be happy. If staring at the sky during sundown makes you happy, ensure you are in the garden at that time and not doing the dishes in the kitchen. If you enjoyed a hobby and gave it up because of lack of time, resurrect it.

A little personal space in your relationship can hold it together. If doing things by yourself makes you happy, so be it. Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean you’re always supposed to be joined at the hip with them. So if you’ve been saying things like, “My wife takes me for granted,” go ahead and take some time off.

5. Never lose touch with your friends

It’s your friends who have been through thick and thin with you. Just because you found love and are in a marriage doesn’t mean you will lose touch with your friends.

Ensure you take time out and meet your friends. A marriage cannot keep you so busy that you have no time for friends. If you have friends who support you and hang out with you, you will not look at your spouse for all your emotional needs. So they won’t get a chance to take you for granted since they’ll realize that they’re not the only person you can go to when you need someone.

However, keep in mind that this doesn’t mean that you can make your partner feel neglected by spending all your time with your friends. You may have a problem with your partner taking you for granted, but passive-aggressively spending all your time with your friends is not going to help either of you.

Related Reading: Online Affairs Reshaping The Idea of Fidelity In Modern Marriage

6. Practise self-love

Practicing self-love is important for your self-respect and for maintaining your self-worth. If you love yourself that does not mean you will love your partner any less. In fact, this will only ensure they will respect you because you respect yourself, and so they will not take you for granted.

When your husband takes you for granted, it can dismantle your sense of self, pretty quickly. Your self-confidence may falter since you’re not getting the validation everyone needs. If you’ve felt like you have been neglected to the point where you’re doubting yourself, it’s important to build your own confidence up.

7. Maintain space if they are not responsive

If they are not initiating intimacy or are ignoring you, constantly telling them that you feel neglected will not help if they’re just not capable of listening. Instead, give them space, let them process their feelings and issues. After some time they will get curious about you not being perturbed at all.

8. Couples counseling can help you

When every conversation turns into an argument, when he’s just not ready to accept any responsibility or she’s just not ready to listen to you, when it feels like the future of your relationship is in dire straits, couples counseling is the best thing you can do to save your relationship.

Instead of saying things like, “I do everything for my wife and get nothing in return,” to a friend or a biased third party, do it with a mental health professional. A licensed, unbiased professional will better be able to tell you both exactly what has gone wrong, and what the path toward recovery is.

If it’s help you’re looking for, Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists can help you navigate this turbulent time in your relationship and show you the way back to the harmonious relationship you yearn for.

How to deal with being taken for granted by your spouse?

Being taken for granted by your spouse is not a sign of being in a healthy relationship. It can leave indelible scars on your psyche and even destroy your relationship completely. If you find yourself stuck in a similar situation and want to do everything you can to make your relationship work, look for ways to make your spouse fall in love with you again.

There are a few things you can do to deal with your spouse’s attitude towards you:

  • Let them know gently that you do not like their attitude of taking you for granted
  • Once you communicate how you feel, try to initiate a solution-driven dialogue (note how we didn’t say monologue)
  • Put your foot down when you feel that you cannot agree with what they are saying
  • Make it clear that you expect them to take responsibility of the chores and children too
  • Tell them that if they keep you informed about their decisions regarding small to big things that would be appreciated
  • Let them know that this is a union of equals and you deserve the amount of respect they expect from you
  • Nonetheless, make sure you listen and make your partner feel heard as well, instead of constantly berating them
  • At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that anger won’t get you anywhere, have a constructive dialogue, and focus on solutions

When push comes to shove, and you feel that the relationship is taking a toll on your mental and physical well-being, remember there is no stigma in standing up for yourself and walking out. And if you think there’s still some work to be done, hopefully, the signs and pointers we’ve listed out for you today will help you figure out what it is you must do.

FAQs

1. Why does my partner take me for granted?

Your partner takes you for granted, because you focus entirely on keeping them happy and never utter a word when they ignore or neglect you.

2. How do you know if it’s time to give up on a relationship?

You know it’s time to give up on a relationship when despite your repeated requests and efforts they do not change their ways. When even relationship counseling fails, it’s time to give up.

3. How can I stop being taken for granted?

Learn to say “No”, stop being at their beck and call, put your foot down when needed. Practice self-love, do things that make you happy and never lose touch with your friends.

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6 signs your boyfriend is taking you for granted

Life isn't always fair to each of us, but that's what makes it honest, as ironic as it sounds.

Author Kluber To read 16 min. Views 8k. Posted by

Have you ever cared about a person so much that you were physically hurt if he ignored you? Have you loved someone madly, but all your efforts were in vain because this person did not appreciate you or did not want to give you a chance? Have you spent all your time and energy trying to make this person's life better, and in the end he neglected all this? Have you given your all to the relationship to the point where your partner starts taking you for granted and then just walks away without looking back?

Life isn't always fair to each of us, but that's what makes it honest, no matter how ironic it may sound. You can find yourself in a relationship where you put a lot of effort into, while your boyfriend will not only constantly demand something from you without offering anything in return, but also refuse to recognize and respect your efforts. This means that he refuses to give you the love you deserve and instead takes you for granted.

Such relationships are much more toxic than you might imagine. They make you stop thinking about yourself. The only person you appreciate doesn't respect or love you the way you deserve. It makes you feel like you don't deserve anything good in this life at all.

Continuing to invest all of yourself in a relationship with a person who does not care, you are exhausted and take away time from yourself that could be spent on yourself and on new interesting experiences. You only live once and the time spent on another person will never come back to you. Taking this into account, you should definitely make sure that the person to whom you give all of yourself understands this and appreciates you, and not just uses you and takes you for granted. The love you give him may never come back to you. He should have at least some respect for your efforts.

Love is a two-way street. It takes a long time to earn respect and just a second of disdain to destroy. Despite the fact that for each of us love means something different, there is still one main factor that is the same for everyone: the ability to appreciate and respect each other.

We, as humans, tend to take everything for granted and realize the value of a person after we have lost him. There are so many wonderful people in our world who are trying hard to find a reason to keep those who are simply not worthy of them. They keep trying anyway, simply because that's the way they're made. They tend to worry too much about everything and fight for two. How can they escape from what's inside? Such a manifestation of kindness is the only right decision for them, and they will consider any deviation from the given path to be wrong, and they will never want to let go of those they love. Such a person will put all of himself into the relationship, no matter how his partner perceives it.

Such people play an important role and really change other people's lives for the better. What are we doing? We just leave them no other choice. We drag them into the darkness, where there is no love, no respect, no trust. When they leave, they leave behind a feeling of emptiness in the heart. Only then does awareness come to us, and we begin to regret that we missed them, never having learned to appreciate them.

If there is a person in your life who takes your feelings and your kindness for granted, cut off all ties with him. Not only will it hinder your personal growth, but it will also lower your self-esteem.

Here are some signs that your partner is taking you for granted:

  1. He doesn't respect your opinion

Some people have an opinion on everything and there is nothing wrong with that. However, there are times when you just want to share your opinion on a topic with a person, and he, instead of calmly discussing it with you, gets angry and stubbornly tries to impose his point of view on you. He doesn't care at all what you think.

This may be about everyday situations or specific issues in your relationship - your partner always dismisses your opinion as if it means nothing. This behavior indicates that he does not respect your opinion.

The willingness to listen to your partner, as well as the desire to pay attention to what is really important to him, can tell a lot about a person. If your boyfriend doesn't show any interest in hearing your opinion, he's missing out on a chance to get to know you better.

Of course, you can be quiet and prefer to listen rather than talk, but still, you can't deny the fact that even in such cases there are important topics that you want to discuss with your boyfriend. If he does not respect you so much that he refuses to listen, then there is no point in staying with him. You need someone who will value your opinion just as much as you value it.

Nobody canceled the right to freedom of speech. Each person has their own beliefs and views. Of course, you should not obey and agree with absolutely everything that your boyfriend says. You should at least respect your partner's opinion and not be judgmental. In any long-term relationship, there comes a point where you have to choose between your relationship and conflict. Don't forget that your relationship is the most important thing if you truly love your partner. If you want to save a relationship, you must understand how important it is to be able to compromise.

You should avoid conflict at all costs, but if you do get into an argument, feel free to apologize. If your partner's ego is the most important thing to him, he will turn your relationship into a toxic one and make you unhappy. In such cases, it is better to cut off any ties than to deal with emotional trauma day by day.

  1. You are not a priority for him

Some people have quite busy schedules and are constantly busy. At the very beginning of a relationship, everything is fine and your boyfriend may even forget about his business in order to spend time with you. However, as your relationship develops, his behavior begins to change, and you notice it. Every time he promises to go on a date with you or spend time together, something happens at the last moment and he cancels the meeting.

We must respect those who give us some time out of their schedule and love those who forget their schedule altogether for us. When you have a lot of work that your boss wants you to finish before the evening, and you have a dinner planned at a new restaurant with your boyfriend that you don’t want to miss, you just postpone everything until later and go to his meeting, as promised .

And now you are both enjoying your time together and now he gets a call from work. This issue can be easily resolved over the phone, but instead he decides to leave you and deal with it himself. What does this behavior tell you? It looks like he takes you for granted, doesn't he? If you are not a priority for him, but rather a fallback, leave him and find yourself a better man.

It hurts, but why waste your time and give yourself to someone who takes you for granted? In the end, everything will end with the fact that you give him all of yourself without a trace and you will have nothing left for yourself or for more worthy people who will appear in your life.

Being a backup to the person you have devoted your whole life to is very difficult. Even the most insignificant things are a higher priority for them than you, and this will hurt you a lot. It happens once, then twice, and then it becomes a habit.

It is interesting for every person to get to know his partner at the very beginning of a relationship, and as long as both of them have this interest, the relationship will develop successfully, but if he starts to disappear, the feelings themselves will fade away. Sometimes it won't be anyone's fault, because some people are just not meant to be in a relationship.

We like how certain words sound and how they make us feel. We like the very idea of ​​love, but not at all what is necessary in order to keep it. Love is a struggle. Love does not lie in that initial phase of a relationship when you see everything around you in a rainbow light and butterflies flutter in your stomach.

If there comes a moment in a relationship when your partner stops showing interest in you and appreciating everything you do for him, it would be best to cut off any ties with him and move on with your life.

  1. He becomes a different person when he wants physical intimacy

During the day he is not very friendly towards you, but as soon as his hormones begin to play and he wants more, he turns into a different person. He will try to be funny and charming, but just to satisfy his sexual desires, and when everything ends, he becomes the same again. You are not anyone's toy, so respect yourself. Physical intimacy is something sacred and should never be desecrated in this way.

We accept the love we think we deserve. Only if you yourself consider yourself worthy of a meaningful relationship filled with love and respect can you accept the best manifestations of his love. Otherwise, you will never notice his true intentions when he treats you well just for the sake of sex, and then again becomes indifferent and no longer respects you. He takes your kindness for granted when he only uses you for sex, and the rest of the time he doesn't even want to know you.

Don't you think you deserve more? You are not a thing that can be used and then put aside as useless. Then why should relationships be any different? You have to walk away from the person who takes advantage of you, robs you of valuable time and energy, and then walks away like you mean nothing to them.

Most relationships these days are based on lust. We are attracted by the naked body of a person, and not at all by his naked soul. The body is just a shell, while the soul is the person himself. If you don't really know a person, then you stay with him only for the sake of satisfying your sexual needs.

If your partner is only interested in physical intimacy, and when you try to get close to him emotionally and he just ignores you, then he is only with you to satisfy his sexual hunger.

  1. He does not appreciate you

People often think that only the big things are important in a relationship: that wonderful trip you went on together, the famous museum you visited, the karaoke bar you went to drunk and all your friends knew about it, joint moving and everything that follows. This list can be continued indefinitely.

But in most cases, life together is about the little things. These are the memories that you mentally return to at the end of each day. Even the smallest acts of love and kindness are what generally strengthen your relationship. If your partner does not notice all the little things that you do for him, your relationship is hanging in the balance.

One day you prepare a delicious dinner for him, despite the fact that you have many other things to do, but he is so busy that he does not even thank you. He does not understand the value of what is right in front of him. He keeps doing this over and over again, neglecting you and hurting you.

If he takes even the smallest things for granted, how can you be sure that he will appreciate something more serious? Don't let him neglect you like that and demand what you deserve, namely a person who notices how much love you do everything for him, thanks you for it, and also tells you how much he appreciates it and how it helps him cope with stress Everyday life.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if the person with whom you share your life does not see it, then he is not the one. He takes you for granted.

Everyone likes to hear compliments. I once sat with a 7-year-old child and you will be surprised how perceptive children can be. They know more about this life than most adults.

This child comes up to me and says that I will compliment my wife even when he gets fat and has wrinkles. He said this with such innocence and truth in his eyes, and then I realized that when he grows up, he will make his future chosen one the happiest. No one is perfect in this world and you need to learn to find perfection in other people's shortcomings, because this is where love is manifested.

When you are in love with a person, his shortcomings turn into advantages for you. You see much more than just his outer shell and manage to find something in him that he did not know about.

  1. He ignores your messages

If you want to tell him something important, or just to know if he's okay and when he'll be home, he never answers you. He simply ignores your messages or replies to them after a few hours. There is nothing wrong if it happened once or twice. If it has become a habit, then you have a problem.

You keep quiet and don't tell him anything about it, and he begins to think that he can continue to ignore you like this. If you still find the strength in yourself and ask why he does this, he will try to laugh it off or come up with some kind of unconvincing excuse.

This is definitely not a sign of respect and care from the person with whom you have a relationship. You have to support each other even when you are apart. Thanks to modern technology, we can stay in touch with loved ones, no matter where they are.

If he doesn't even bother to answer you, then he doesn't care about the distance between you. He takes you for granted. If he ignores you from a distance, then he will continue to do this even when you are around and need his attention.

Such behavior is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If you get into trouble or you have some kind of emergency, you will need him to be around, and he himself will not even bother to answer you. This is a clear manifestation of disrespect and disregard for your well-being. You should not stay with such a person.

  1. He hides something serious from you and acts like it's small things

In any relationship, it is necessary to be open to each other. This is a sign that you trust your partner and let them into your world. This strengthens the love and respect in your relationship. Both partners deserve to know personal details about each other, but somehow you have no idea what he does in his personal life. You don't know what he does at work and what he thinks about. He may make an important decision without even consulting you, and then come up with some kind of excuse. You are always the last to know about what his friends and family have known for a long time. Sometimes, even his colleagues know more than you. This attitude towards you is the main sign that he takes you for granted. Just because you're willing to give him some personal space and time doesn't mean you can take your trust for granted.

When you enter into a relationship with a person, you share your life with him, which means that you must be ready to share your plans, goals, dreams and all that with him. You tell him absolutely everything, but as soon as it's his turn, he brushes it off. Trust must come from both sides. If he takes your trust for granted, and he does not want to trust you in return, why do you need to continue all this?

If there is a person in your life who takes you for granted and you notice in his behavior all or several of the signs described above, then it is time to take certain steps to correct the situation. I like people who are willing to fight for their relationship, but if you're the only one fighting and your partner isn't taking action, then you need to reevaluate your relationship and act accordingly. If you keep trying, it will take away all the positive energy from you and affect not only your relationships, but also your stability. You won't always get back exactly as much as you give, but at least you should get something.

This is the only way to understand where your relationship is headed. You can be the person who always loves harder, cares more, smiles brighter, cry longer, but if your boyfriend doesn't make the slightest attempt to acknowledge all the things you do for him, then he takes you for granted.

Move on with your life and find someone who will give you the love and respect you deserve and make you feel that all your efforts have been appreciated. Before committing yourself to a relationship, make sure your partner understands how lucky they are and won't take you for granted.

Translation of the article - 6 SIGNS YOUR BOYFREEND IS TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED VIA Cluber

Husband accepts me for granted

9000 #2 903

#3

because I do everything for my husband, but he does everything not for me, but for friends, parents and colleagues?

#4

#5

#6

Xenia

why stupid, sorry?

because I do everything for my husband, but he does everything not for me, but for friends, parents and colleagues?

#7

Xenia

why stupid, excuse me?

because I do everything for my husband, but he does everything not for me, but for friends, parents and colleagues?

I even have a feeling that he doesn't love you: that's why he's everything for friends. And with you a good dinner, sex, joint rent of an apartment, help in paying off a loan and other small services that you provide to him completely free of charge.

#8

#9

#9

#9

P.S. He really doesn't owe you anything. You set yourself up like that. Congratulations. You can hardly change anything.

And he is not your husband. And a roommate.

#10

Girl

Xenia why stupid, excuse me?

because I do everything for my husband, but he does everything not for me, but for friends, parents and colleagues? Or just taking advantage of your kindness? In this case, on the face that he uses you.

I even have a feeling that he doesn't love you: that's why he's everything for friends. And with you a good dinner, sex, joint rent of an apartment, help in paying off a loan and other small services that you provide to him completely free of charge.

#11

#12

#13 9000 9000 9000

#14

#15

#16

#17

Xenia

you know, we're just planning a wedding. He introduces me to everyone as his wife. calls it in front of friends and colleagues. so I already habitually write husband.

he is hardly .

#18

Xenia

You know, we're just planning a wedding. He introduces me to everyone as his wife. calls it in front of friends and colleagues. so I already habitually write husband.

#19

Xenia

yes, probably a fool and there is a definition that suits me. I keep trying to convey to him what exactly I don’t like, what offends me. and he just brushes it off and says that all this is nonsense and whining. then he can ask for forgiveness. BUT, as it happened more than once, then he admitted that he only asked for forgiveness so that I would not sulk. and he doesn't feel guilty about it.

so why is a girl dating a guy? write here.

#20

#21

Guest

Go away. Let him live for a couple of months - he will howl from piled-up expenses and domestic problems. Goats need to be taught. *** Some ....

#22

#23

ETSAMED

And why are you so little cook by the way, if the man ate everything?

for now she will pay for his loan, for a rented apartment, buy shorts, socks for him - from Gulkin's nose for pasta.

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#24

Xenia

as it turned out, he was not the only one who ate. but with your friend.

#25

Fluffy lap dog

And you are not afraid that when you pay off his loan, he will do you a pen. Why don't you get married? You took on a lot of things, maybe then you won’t get any gratitude from him at all. Of course, you make everything convenient for him.

#26

Xenia

You know, we're just planning a wedding. He introduces me to everyone as his wife. calls it in front of friends and colleagues. so I already habitually write husband.

#27

Xenia

as it turned out, he was not the only one who ate. but with your friend.

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  • My husband and his children and grandchildren piss me off.

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#28

marvanna

you are weird.

for now she will pay for his loan, for a rented apartment, buy shorts, socks for him - from Gulkin's nose for pasta.

#29

Xenia

You know, we're just planning a wedding. He introduces me to everyone as his wife. calls it in front of friends and colleagues. so I already habitually write husband.

#30

#31

#32 9000 9000 9000

#33

#34

Guest

Author, what are the advantages of living with him? ))))))))))))))))) I wonder why for the sake of a woman they lay down their lives (mmmm . ... or ON life?) )))))))))))))) ))

#35

this is the same

marvan you are weird.

for the time being she will pay for his loan, for a rented apartment, buy shorts, socks for him - from Gulkin's nose to pasta remains. while there is a lot of vagueness in history. interesting view of the man on the situation, too.

#36

when you buy clothes, does he take you two to the store? but, when clothes are only for you, they don’t carry, right?

or do you buy clothes for two without him?

#37

Xenia

you know, you're right. I wrote about the wedding to explain why I call him my husband. not getting married because there is no money for the wedding yet. More precisely, this is probably the official version. What is his reason, I don't know. but I'm not sure that I need such a husband in the future, that's precisely because of his disregard for attitude.

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#38

Is this the same

man never buys groceries? Or is this example given an isolated case when you bought them? when you buy clothes, does he take you two to the store? but, when clothes are only for you, they don’t carry, right? or do you buy clothes for two without him?

#39

Xenia

I ask myself the same questions. .

#40

#41

do you really believe in the topic

)

#42

Guest

Do such fools still exist? In lucky man. And you only have to regret.

#430003

#45

#46

#47 9000 9000

#48

#49

Ksenia

Ksenia

understand, everything that you write to me is a maid, a housekeeper I'm talking to myself! but I can't muster the resolve to change everything.

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