What is an extreme introvert
16 Perfect Secrets You Didn't Know About Extreme Introverts
One of the fun facts about introverts is that they have different traits. Most people tend to overgeneralize introversion, whereas, it’s a spectrum of qualities where anyone can fall at different ranges. For example, some people can be extremely introverted, while others, fairly. If you’re asking, “Why am I so introverted?” then you’re probably an extreme introvert.
Don’t worry, it’s not a disorder.
Since most people aren’t accustomed to the extreme introvert personality, it’s easy to assume that it’s unusual or problematic. On the contrary, the extreme introvert meaning refers to ‘someone with deeply introverted traits.’
There are various extreme introvert characteristics in people, which might be misconstrued as a personality disorder. Therefore, understanding extreme introverts is necessary to make them comfortable in society.
My introverted self can also relate to these extreme introvert symptoms because I am extremely introverted. Oftentimes, people think that I have an extremely shy personality, whereas, I'm merely quieter than others. Therefore, explaining the extreme introvert definition will help educate a lot of people about this subject.
16 Traits About Extreme Introverts You Need to Know
You sometimes suffer social anxiety.
If you get a little nervous when you’re in the midst of a crowd, you might be an extreme introvert. Palm sweating, irregular heartbeat, panic episodes, abrupt muteness, stammering, shivering, disorientation, nausea, and intestinal difficulties are all signs of social anxiety.
Apart from the nervousness you might feel, most of these symptoms are caused by the stimulation occurring in your head. Since your mind is trying to process so many things at once, your nerves simply get in the way.
Consider the case when your parents invite friends around and you are exposed to new people. You may struggle to make eye contact and stiffen up when you need to say something in a nice and inviting manner.
Another great example is socializing at a new university or answering loudly in class when the instructor calls on you. If you prefer to study online, it’s one of the signs you’re extremely introverted.
Knowing the causes and effects of overstimulation can help in understanding extreme introverts. If you’re one, you’ll know how to manage social situations better and learn when to take adequate measures to safeguard your internal energy.
2. You would rather be alone than connect with others.
Given the profound nature of extremely introverted people, we undoubtedly like spending time alone for long periods. The negative effects of social anxiety makes it no surprise that ardent introverts enjoy solitary places. That’s why some of the best jobs for extreme introverts are work-at-home jobs.
No one would intentionally subject themselves to a flood of unpleasant emotions, especially when communicating with others for too long can affect them. There's also the risk of being criticized or scorned because of the inability to fit in with the general culture.
When isolated, an extreme introvert has complete control over their life. They can do anything they enjoy without being interrupted. Rather than dealing with tedious small talk, they can focus on the topics that interest and motivate them. For example, if you enjoy reading, you can lose yourself in your favorite novel for hours.
If you enjoy building things, painting, or solving word puzzles, all these solitary activities renew your power to live rather than deplete it. Moreover, they will not result in any negative consequence or turmoil. Therefore, severe introversion can seem intense, but such introverts enjoy it because of the mental relaxation it brings.
3. Being in large crowds or prolonged social situations depletes you rapidly.
Extroverts awaken in large groups of people, and this is also true for extremely outgoing people. Extremely introverted people, on the other hand, become exhausted when confronted with lengthy social encounters.
Since extroverts like the burst of activity that comes with interacting with others, contrarily, introverts tend to use a lot more energy trying to listen to several discussions at the same time.
Some extreme introverts are empaths and unconsciously experience the emotions of numerous people around them. Therefore, participating in diverse dialogues can be tedious.
After dealing with social interaction, an extreme introvert may want some significant alone time to recharge and recuperate. In addition, several of them may experience cognitive overload, which might lead to a mental breakdown. Irrespective of whatever they're doing, they’d want to disconnect.
The best extreme introvert test is guaging how well you can handle prolonged interaction. Do you display these introverted signs, or can you handle it a bit longer? If this describes you, you must identify coping and rehabilitation strategies that work for you. A highly introvert person needs to know their limits to avoid having an introvert hangover.
Related: 14 Horrible Introvert Hangover Symptoms (& Ways to Curb It)
4. You would rather live alone or with a tranquil animal friend.
This sign builds on the preceding one.
When you're very introverted, living alone offers a lot of advantages. Every super introvert enjoys the comfort of their personal space more than dealing with others. Nevertheless, this notion doesn’t suggest that an extreme introvert can’t handle other people. It merely means that they’d prefer solitude more.
One of the most significant reasons is that other people find it hard to grasp most extreme introversion symptoms, and, oftentimes, take it as a problem. The advantage of staying alone is that you never have to cope with any form of domestic strife. Most highly introverted people despise any form of conflict, and the only method to prevent it is to live solitary.
In addition, most introverts are susceptible to noise and interruptions. Since an extreme introvert’s mind tends to process the littlest details, building focus with a roommate can be tedious. If you work from home, you can prevent this factor.
You may find it simpler to comprehend and engage with animals than with people since their requirements are simple.
More so, you can live life according to your interests without making compromises. Have the stuff you want, put it where you want, and proudly display your treasures without feeling too cautious.
5. You avoid having to deal with people in your workplace or school.
If you’re asking the question, “Why have I become so introverted?” it’s most likely due to how stimulated you feel in certain environments. If the people around you tend to drain you mentally, it answers the question, “Why did I suddenly become introverted?” Know that you’re unconsciously trying to manage your internal energy and avoid encountering a burnout.
One of the signs that you’re an introvert with severe qualities is if you’ve chosen remote employment due to this factor. If you can’t handle the workplace environment, you're probably an extreme introvert. It also means you’re highly susceptible to external stimuli which can drain you faster than you expect.
Another factor to consider is having an extrovert boss who prefers to handle all dealings one-on-one rather than through emails.
Similarly, your coworkers might not see any harm in stopping over at your office or workstation for minor chats, whereas, it drains your energy.
If you’re extremely introverted, working remotely seems to be a win-win situation for you. You don't have to cope with these concerns because you can operate on your own schedule and can manage your cognitive energy appropriately.
Related: Am I Too Quiet? P.S. No, You’re Not. A How-To Guide to Using Your Introversion to Your Advantage
6. When there's far too much happening around you, it's difficult to think properly.
Hyperstimulation is a dire condition, and for extremely introverted folks, it can be a nightmare.
When a regular person attempts to focus, they simply become agitated when things distract them from their work. But for a restrained introvert who focuses keenly, they might go into sensory overload because of the level of activities occurring within.
Some people tend to thrive more in such bubbly environments.
This is because of how their personalities function. Extroverts have an external working system, which means, there is reduced stimulation inside their minds. Therefore, extroverts need an increased level of outward activities to ignite their cognitive thinking.
However, an introvert has a personality that is inward-focused. More external activities would be too much for their brains to take. Therefore, every dialogue, tone, and activity around them would seem amplified. This process might also cause their emotions to fluctuate while they try to deal with the multiple noises happening both inwardly and outwardly.
In that light, every extreme introvert with highly introverted traits, needs a great degree of silence to focus and harness their creativitiy. If you’re wondering how to deal with being an extreme introvert, you probably need to practice spending enough time in solitary, and finding adequate time to recharge.
7. You have the ability to focus for lengthy periods.
A great secret about super introverted individuals, which ironically opposes the last point, is that they can concentrate for extended periods. This trait introduced the now popular phrase, “I am introverting!” Thus, if your attention can go unbroken for hours, you’re most likely an extreme introvert.
Even though the ability of an introvert to focus is well-known, this is particularly more predominant with extremely introverted folks. They may retreat to concentrate on a creative project, only venturing out for meals or potty breaks. Furthermore, they might get so involved in their job that getting interrupted by a person would cost a lot.
When they're so concentrated, it's almost as if they blend with whatever they're doing and enter another level of awareness. They would rather finish one thing before venturing on to the next, and this increases their productivity level drastically.
However, to some extent, this can be damaging to their health. Motion promotes blood circulation in the body and ensures a person’s wellbeing.
Therefore, introverts need to remember to take regular breaks even while trying to concentrate keenly on tasks.
8. You prefer to converse via text or writing instead of speaking.
Without a doubt, it’s much better to communicate via text than vocally, if you’re an introvert. It allows you to explain yourself elegantly when it comes to describing what you're thinking or feeling.
When it pertains to verbal communication, however, you have to think quickly. When you're speaking to somebody one on one, you have to be sharp and highly operational, otherwise, you might say something incoherent. For instance, when someone tells you "congratulations" and you respond with "me too,".
This process won’t happen very often when you're messaging someone. You can spend your time writing down precisely what you're feeling, then double-check your punctuation and spelling before sending it off.
9. You rarely go out in public.
There’s a difference between forced introversion and being an extreme introvert.
Although people in these two categories might exhibit similar traits, the psychology behind the two scenarios is different. A person tends to be an unhealthy introvert if certain negative situations are causing them to be reclusive. However, an extreme introvert might have naturally withdrawn tendencies.
If you’re asking the question, “Why am I becoming an introvert?” try paying more attention to the occurrences around you. For example, do you avoid going out in public due to unpleasant reasons? If yes, it might be an introvert disorder that you need to handle immediately. Talking to a specialist in this case might help.
On the other hand, many extremely introverted people stay quiet and avoid public settings because they function best in solitude. Since their qualities are so withdrawn, they need a greater degree of silence to access it. Therefore, they might prefer to be homebodies, and conduct all of their shopping online.
Nevertheless, learning to navigate through social difficulties is essential to increase an extremely introverted person’s productivity level.
Taking creativity from the comfort zone to the world is a must-have skill for all quiet folks.
10. You tend to experience negative physical symptoms as a result of over-socialization.
It's crucial to note that all human beings are prone to a variety of medical ailments when their minds aren’t in the right place. This is relatively true for extremely introverted people. A severe amount of internal and external buzz tends to have a ripple effect on their health.
So how do you know if you're an introvert? One of the signs of being an introvert is when you can manage social situations but tend to feel the damage afterward. You might feel a strong urge to socialize, but your body and mind say otherwise when you go overboard.
Some of the ailments a quiet person can experience from an introvert hangover include - but aren't restricted to - headaches, tension in the muscles, fatigue, physical body pain, impaired mental abilities, insomnia, twitching, skin problems, rosacea, etc.
Therefore, understanding your personality and what can trigger overstimulation is crucial for every extreme introvert. It will help you channel your mental energy into the right sources at all times. More so, you won’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself for what you’re not capable of accomplishing thoroughly.
11. You have a limited group of pals.
Many people believe that introverts are social outcasts who never interact with others. While this may seem true, most introverts (even extremely introverted ones) like to have good friends with whom they can interact with.
These friends are usually easy to be around and tend not to stress them out. There’s also a likelihood that they are also deep introverts who prefer solitary living.
However, it's critical to point out that some extreme introverts tend not to have any friends at all, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I can use myself as an example since I'm extremely introverted, and I only have acquaintances, but no close friendships.
I used to believe that there was something wrong with me until I discovered how to use my quietness to my advantage.
Related: How One Introvert Book Changed my Life and Boosted my Self-Esteem
Even if I can’t meet regularly for board games at someone's house, I can enjoy spending time with people whenever I get the chance. More so, it ensures I can safeguard my energy and use it at appropriate times.
12. People often confess that you’re unapproachable.
If anyone has ever said that they find it difficult to approach you, it’s how to know you’re an introvert with profound qualities. Since most introverted traits are internally hidden, other people might find our personalities too complex. This might be different from extroverts who have outward-driven temperaments.
This reason is why extremely introverted people tend to have a small social circle — and in most cases, are often misunderstood. People would have to spend an ample amount of time with an extreme introvert before they can understand them.
It’s also why people use the term ‘too introverted’ when referring to this category of people.
Since most people don’t like the stress associated with connecting with a reserved person, they often complain about it. Nevertheless, those that stick around hardly ever regret the process.
You shouldn’t worry about this scenario, however, because your lifestyle unconsciously filters out associations that might be superficial.
Other Amazing Traits About Extremely Introverted People.
13. You’re exceptionally unique.
Introverts find it hard to fit the social standards, and this might be more practical with extreme introverts. Since their tendencies are more withdrawn, they simply cannot blend into sociable situations, only if they are thoroughly comfortable.
Some of the behaviors you might notice from an extreme introvert is staying mute in social environment and watching everyone. From a personal context, we prefer to observe rather than to contribute anything that might be meaningless.
Even though this behavior is reclusive, it makes every extreme introvert unique to the core. Even without trying hard, they effortlessly stand out of the crowd. Their silence makes them look prudent and people always attest to their distinctive qualities. More so, it makes everyone ponder what they might be thinking.
14. You’re highly creative.
One of the advantages of being extremely introverted is that you can connect to your deeply-buried strengths more than others. In a different light, extroverts are more in tune with their external qualities and can harness it at different times. Being so much of an extreme introvert makes you inventive since your creativity comes from within.
That’s also why some of the best careers for extreme introverts are freelance jobs where they can use their hidden gifts in the comfort of their homes. Other great jobs for extreme introverts include graphic designing, writing, art, and etcetera. Paying attention to what you love doing, and what you’re good at, can indeed earn you a lucrative amount of income.
Venturing into other professional fields is also an amazing idea for introverts. If you only stay in your comfort zone, you’ll never realize what you can truly succeed at. Therefore, don’t be afraid to try a couple of things before making a final conclusion.
15. You’re thought-provoking.
Another reason why being too introverted is a blessing in disguise is because you’re thought-provoking. Most people tend to underrate quiet folks and believe they have nothing substantial to say. On the contrary, keeping mute for long periods builds up a great deal of intellect that can amaze the world.
Have you ever shared your viewpoint on something and people were genuinely astonished? This is one of the introvert signs that showcase the advantages of being quiet. The less you speak is the more you gather information — and this is particularly helpful for the more introverted folks.
Even so, you’re able to deliver carefully thought out opinions that are entirely helpful to the hearers.
So, if you’re asking, “Am i too introverted?” remember that there are several perks attached to being so darn quiet. Although these traits might not be as prominent as other people’s own, you stand out for a clear reason.
16. You’re mysterious and intriguing.
It’s easy to believe that extreme introverts and relationships are two things that don’t work well together. On the contrary, there’s something undeniably mysterious about the extreme introvert personality that attracts people to it. People always want to find out more about quiet folks, and the more they discover it, the more they become mesmerized.
If you’re an extreme introvert, be rest assured that people find you intriguing. They may not approach you as much, but choosing to be yourself rather than pretending to be someone else, endears others to you. Your careful and detailed approach to life potentially makes you a great life partner.
Dating an extreme introvert is also usually beautiful and different.
It’s a rare experience that only folks with an understanding heart can enjoy. The more you get accustomed to a severely reserved person’s temperaments without trying to change them, the more you can reap the benefits of their quiet, charming natures.
Related: 13 Brilliant Tips to Make your Introvert Relationship Successful
FAQs
Why am I an introvert?
If you’re asking the question, “Why am I introverted?” understand that nobody can outright choose their personalities. A couple of factors go hand in hand in building a person’s temperaments. Nevertheless, being a quiet person, or even an extreme introvert, is not a bad thing.
Why am I such an introvert?
People that are extremely introverted are called extreme introverts. It simply means you have a more withdrawn personality than most people. In a different light, people with pronounced external traits can be called extreme extroverts. It’s pertinent to note that it’s not a disorder, but simply a personality type.
Is being an introvert a disorder?
Most people tend to believe that the avoidant personality disorder is an extreme introvert disorder. However, there’s no such thing as an extreme introversion disorder. Being a little quieter than others is normal and shouldn’t be seen as a problem.
What is a restrained introvert?
The restrained introvert meaning refers to a category of quiet people who tend to have their guards up, and think carefully about things before acting. Restrained introverts might also refrain from certain activities until they feel fully prepared. People with a restrained introvert personality might also find it hard to be comfortable in social situations.
Live Your Best Quiet Life as an Extreme Introvert
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CONCLUSION
Was this article enlightening? Being extremely introverted comes with many perks. Learning how to exploit your hidden gifts is a necessary skill.
Kindly leave a comment below if you liked this article or share it with other extreme introverts.
How to Know If and Why You’re an Extreme Introvert
Being introverted can be hard. You may struggle to make friends and wish you could be more social and outgoing. At the same time, you might really enjoy your alone time and don’t understand the hype of big groups or parties.
Being a hardcore introvert comes with unique challenges. This guide will highlight the main signs of being an extreme introvert. We will also discuss the causes of introversion, how you can still make friends, and how to make the most of your quiet time.
You might also like to read our guide to the best books for introverts.
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Sections
- Signs that you’re an extreme introvert
- Best jobs for extreme introverts
- How to be more outgoing and make friends
- Common questions
Signs that you’re an extreme introvert
Being introverted is more than just being quiet around others and needing alone time.
If you are very introverted, this personality trait can affect every area of your life.
Here are some common characteristics that extreme introverts share.
1. Alone time is very important to you
Although a lot of people assume that introverts prefer solitude, some emerging research shows that isn’t necessarily true. Instead, it may appear that introverts simply embrace being alone more than extroverts.[1]
Why? Introverts may value dispositional autonomy, which means they enjoy learning about their internal experiences and emotions.[2] Therefore, if you have high levels of this autonomy, it makes sense that you like spending time alone. It gives you a chance to explore yourself and your inner world.
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So, even if you don’t necessarily prefer being alone, extreme introverts might have a greater chance of making the most out of that solitary time.
2. You feel little need to be the center of attention
Research shows that extroverts like behaving in ways that attract social attention.[3] This might explain why they tend to talk more and enjoy spending time in large groups.
But introverts aren’t motivated by the same rewards. You might prefer a one-on-one conversation instead of talking in front of many people. And at parties, you probably don’t have the same desire to show off or meet everyone in the room.
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3. You might struggle with work meetings
For an extreme introvert, a traditional work meeting may feel overwhelming and uncomfortable.
Extroverts may dominate the conversation. When it comes to leadership, many tasks, like public speaking or leading meetings, seem to favor extroversion.[4]
But in this article by the Harvard Business Review, the author draws attention to the myth that “smart people think on their feet.” She argues that introverted employees tend to make their greatest contributions after they can process appropriate information.
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In my clinical experience, many introverts thrive when they can use asynchronous communication. This refers to communication that doesn’t require immediate attention, like:
- Text messages
- Emails
- Online forums
- Collaborative documents
Extroverts may prefer synchronous communication, which happens when communication happens in real-time (like in face-to-face interactions or phone calls).
This article talks in detail about the differences between asynchronous and synchronous communication.
4. You might often feel overstimulated
Loud noises, too many people, flashing colors — all of these can be intense triggers for an introvert. It’s not that introverts are extra sensitive. It’s simply that you might notice all the details that other people typically overlook.
In her book, The Introvert Advantage, Dr. Marti Olsen Laney explains that introverts tend to be more sensitive to dopamine than extroverts. They need less of it to feel satisfied and happy. Extroverts, on the other hand, need more dopamine to feel good. That’s why they may gravitate towards big parties and lots of people.
If you become overstimulated too often, you might feel like you have an emotional hangover. See our main guide on managing introvert burnout.
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5. You have entire worlds in your mind
In my clinical experience, I notice that introverts are often creative, and they love daydreaming.
Others may recognize this trait, and they might call you “too intense.”
But if you always prefer the world in your mind instead of the real world, you might be an extreme introvert.
Daydreaming can be fun and productive, but it can also become a way to escape reality. Instead of dealing with life and making meaningful relationships, extreme introverts may prefer the comfort of their own imaginations. Of course, this pattern can become problematic when you need to focus on issues in the real world.
6. You might be great at making decisions and delaying gratification
A recent study showed that 40% of introverts do not make impulsive decisions. Additionally, over one-third of introverts do not feel the need to consult other people before making their choice.[5]
While extroverts may double-check and ask for reassurance, 79% of introverts indicate that they use their inner feelings and intuition to guide them. In other words, you probably feel comfortable relying on yourself to make the best choice.
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7. You might have been told that you’re unapproachable
The world can be harsh to introverts. Some extroverted people might take your introversion personally, especially if they don’t understand your personality.
They might assume that your quiet demeanor means you are snobby or standoffish. They might also think it’s because you don’t like them.[6]
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Unfortunately, this can feel discouraging. If you’re like most introverts, you want close relationships, and you don’t want to cause any waves. But you also don’t want to force yourself to be someone you’re not.
8. You don’t always share your opinions
We live in a society where it seems that everyone voices their opinion without thinking twice about it.
The Internet makes it easy for anyone to pretend they’re an armchair expert.
But extreme introverts don’t necessarily have the desire to share their thoughts with the whole world. In fact, you might even prefer staying quiet about how you feel unless someone asks you directly.
If the other person disagrees, you may not feel the need to argue back. Instead, you might choose to listen, observe, and come to a reasonable agreement together.
9. You prefer listening over talking
In my experience, introverts usually make for great listeners.
You’re introspective, analytical, and empathic towards other people. And once you open up to someone, you might feel a deep connection to them. But many times, you prefer to listen and observe instead of sharing your own feelings. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re guarded. It just means you feel more comfortable being the one who gives support than the one who receives it.
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10. You can be loyal to a fault
An extreme introvert may be overly loyal, even when it’s no longer beneficial. For example, you might remain friends with someone who doesn’t treat you very well. Or, you might stay in a relationship just because it’s been comfortable. Of course, this isn’t necessarily because of introversion- it can happen for many reasons, including social anxiety and low self-esteem.
The idea of having to go out and meet someone new, connect with them, and build a relationship seems draining. It often feels more comfortable to keep things the way they are.
Best jobs for extreme introverts
Since we spend so much of our days at work, it’s important that you find a job where you can embrace your introverted personality.
Engineer
Engineering is a well-paying and high-demand job. You’ll probably work with a mix of extroverts and introverts.
But many engineering jobs focus on using independent problem-solving skills to solve certain technical problems. In many cases, you will work alone and occasionally touch base with other team members.
IT Specialist
If you enjoy computers, IT specialists are always in demand. You don’t need to talk to many people, but you do need to be skilled in troubleshooting and thinking independently. Many IT specialists can work remotely.
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Librarian
Working as a librarian allows you to embrace a quiet space while engaging in some social interaction with others. In this job, you will catalogue books and movies, oversee different library services, and assist with helping patrons find what they need.
Paralegal
If you’re interested in law, working as a paralegal can be a perfect job for an introvert. You will help your attorney with research, organizing files, and preparing legal briefs. Even if you work alongside a team, you’ll spend a good part of your day managing these tasks alone.
Accountant
Every individual and business must keep track of their finances, and accountants assist with taxes and money management. For the most part, you will work alone and consult with clients periodically. Many accountants either work in a firm or remotely.
Social media manager
Although it has the word “social” in the title, this job can be a great option for introverts. Most of the time, you’ll be doing tasks like SEO, PPC campaigns, and creating unique content. This job also tends to be remote, with most communication done online.
Artist/Writer/Creative Professions
If you enjoy creating art, you may want to pursue a creative career. In these jobs, you often work entirely alone. This allows you lots of uninterrupted time to imagine, brainstorm, and create. You may talk to people related to marketing or making sales, but many of these interactions can occur online.
How to be more outgoing and make friends
Introversion isn’t the same as shyness, even though many people confuse the two words.
Shyness is usually a form of social anxiety. You feel nervous that others will negatively judge you, which keeps you quiet and reserved.[11] Introversion refers to needing time to recharge alone.
Some introverted people tend to be very outgoing, and they make friends easily. Because of this, others might think they are extroverted. But they still get drained, and they usually set limits around their social interactions.
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If you’re introverted and shy, you will need to learn how to ask people the right questions, get more comfortable with rejection, and change your self-talk. See our main guide that details exactly how to be more outgoing.
Common questions
Am I introverted or is it something else?
Sometimes it can feel like we are introverted when in reality it’s something else.
Identify if your extreme introversion could in fact be social anxiety or depression. These symptoms can also lead to isolation.
When is it isolation instead of introversion?
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell which one is which. Are you spending time alone because you enjoy hanging out with yourself? Or, are you alone because you can’t stand other people?
Here are a few ways to tell the difference.
Isolation
You’d almost always rather be alone. You may feel depressed and worry about being a burden to others. But even though you prefer being alone, you struggle with feeling lonely. If others check up on you, you might ignore them or pretend that everything is okay. Unfortunately, this pattern can make you feel more depressed or anxious.[4]
Your isolation can be a short phase. But it can also persist for several months or even years. To get out of it, you need to be willing to interact with others again.
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Introversion
You like connecting with others, even if it sometimes tires you out.
You have many activities that you enjoy doing alone, but you also enjoy doing many things with family or friends. You can tolerate social settings, although you prefer them to be small. You might be quiet, but that doesn’t mean you don’t care about other people.
Sometimes, you make excuses about why you can’t hang out. But you also try to push yourself to socialize.
Why am I an introvert?
Introversion is on a spectrum. Even though introverts share similar traits, there are different subtypes. For example, it’s possible to be a more social introvert, and it’s also possible to be a more anxious or restrained introvert.
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Why am I so introverted?
A study found that introverts and extroverts have important brain differences. Introverts have more blood flow in the regions associated with making plans and solving problems. They also higher levels of brain activity with motor control, learning, and vigilance.[7]
Is it healthy to be an extreme introvert?
Absolutely! It’s okay to enjoy solitude and prefer more intimate communication with others.
But it’s important that you understand the differences between introversion and having an underlying mental health issue such as social anxiety.
What does it mean to be asocial?
Asocial people aren’t motivated to seek out social interactions. Being asocial is one of the main symptoms of schizophrenia, depression, autism, and some personality disorders.
Some introverts are asocial. But being truly asocial is relatively rare. Most people crave human interaction. They want to be close to other people, but they might not know how to form those relationships. Or, in the case of introversion, they want connection, but too much interaction (or the wrong kinds of interaction) can be draining.
Can an introvert become an extrovert?
A meta-analysis shows that personalities can change over time, particularly as you get older.[8] It’s possible to become more outgoing and social with others. It’s also possible to make more friends and put yourself out there more often.
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Keep in mind that introverts and extroverts also process rewards differently. Extroverts tend to release more dopamine when they get excited.
Therefore, they tend to seek experiences that trigger the dopamine response. Introverts also feel joy, but they experience less dopamine when something exciting happens.[9]
What are the different types of introverts?
Introverts don’t come in a one-size-fits-all package. There are different shades of this personality. This post by Scientific American offers a quiz for each category to help you determine which kind of introvert you might be.
Social introverts
Social introverts enjoy intimate gatherings with people. They just prefer the groups to be small and close-knit. If you’re in this category, you may enjoy activities like meeting up for coffee, having dinner with a few close friends, or going on hikes with someone.
Of all the types of introverts, social introverts tend to be the most outgoing. They don’t feel shy around others, but they do get drained when they’re in social settings for too long. You may have a good amount of friends, but you don’t share much about yourself unless you feel really close to someone.
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Thinking introverts
Thinking introverts can sometimes come across as aloof or distracted. That’s because they are often “in their heads.” If you’re a thinking introvert, you spend a lot of time creating, imagining, and storytelling. You enjoy daydreaming and fantasizing, and you also value analyzing the world around you.
Other people might think you’re shy or aloof. But that’s because you’re attuned to your own feelings and experiences. It may feel weird or exhausting to try to explain this to other people.
Anxious introverts
Research shows that anxiety disorders affect nearly 20% of the U.S population.[10]
Anxious introverts often have an anxiety disorder in addition to their introversion.
In this case, social interactions can feel uncomfortable and intimidating. You may really want to connect with other people, but you feel nervous. You also become self-conscious if you think others might be judging you.
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Anxious introverts are the most likely to become extreme introverts. That’s because your social anxiety might keep you from socializing. Instead of working through this fear, you may avoid interactions and isolate yourself from others.
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Restrained introverts
Restrained introverts tend to be more guarded when they first meet people.
They read the room before opening up. If you’re a restrained introvert, you don’t like change. You also become uncomfortable if you feel pressured into a specific situation.
Restrained introverts like their routines. Once you do feel safe around other people, you tend to feel comfortable. But you want to know what to expect when spending time with them.
Show references +
Sources
- Nguyen, T.V., Weinstein, N., & Ryan, R. (2018). Do Introverts Enjoy Solitude? An investigation of Personality Predictors of Motivation for Spending Time Alone. PsyArXiv Preprints.
- Legault, L. (2016). The Need for Autonomy. Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences, 1–3.
- Ashton, M. C., Lee, K., & Paunonen, S. V. (2002). What Is the Central Feature of Extraversion? Social Attention Versus Reward Sensitivity. ResearchGate; American Psychological Association.
- Farrell, M. (2017).
Leadership Reflections: Extrovert and Introvert Leaders. ResearchGate; Taylor & Francis (Routledge). - Rehana Noman. (2016). Influence of extroversion and introversion on decision making ability. ResearchGate; Medip Academy.
- Ho, C. (2015). Exploring The Effects of Introversion and Extraversion on Students’ Audience Awareness in Academic Writing.
- Fischer, H., Wik, G., & Fredrikson, M. (1997). Extraversion, neuroticism and brain function: A pet study of personality. Personality and Individual Differences, 23(2), 345–352.
- Briley, D. A., & Tucker-Drob, E. M. (2014). Genetic and environmental continuity in personality development: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 140(5), 1303–1331.
- (2013). Extroverts have more sensitive brain-reward system. Cornell Chronicle.
- (2017). Any Anxiety Disorder. Nih.Gov.
- Asendorpf, J. B. (2008). Shyness. Encyclopedia of Infant and Early Childhood Development, 146–153.
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Why introverts are great leaders. Breaking down stereotypes about team management
There is a myth in the business world that introverts cannot be leaders. 65% of senior leaders regard introversion as a barrier, and only 6% believe that introverts can lead a team. Entrepreneurs have a strong idea of the qualities that true leaders should have. In their understanding, introversion is a social pathology.
The Hustle disagreed. The journalists interviewed dozens of successful introverts who had founded their own companies and looked at the academic literature on leadership over the past 30 years.
What result did they get? The failure of introverts to be leaders is a myth.
Who are introverts
In 1920, Carl Jung classified introverts as those who get more energy from spending time alone than in the company. An introvert is a person who is focused on his inner world. These people are thoughtful, quiet and observant. They love to indulge in reflection and prefer solitude to noisy and crowded parties.
Why are introverts dangerous?
If necessary, such people can transform into extroverts in order to achieve certain goals or relationships with important people. At the same time, they will not always honestly say that they do not want to go to a party, communicate with a specific person, or actively behave in a crowded place. This can manifest itself in their external coldness and rudeness, but most often they control themselves.
Introverts are excellent listeners, and one day they may use casual phrases against you.
Also, these people are very self-sufficient, able to organize themselves and cope with tasks without anyone's help and valuable advice.
What leadership qualities do introverts have
Leaders in business literature are people who can motivate others to achieve group goals. At some point, the idea of a good leader turned upside down: instead of considering a successful leader who encourages the team for common success, they began to perceive only a charismatic, sociable person who is more interested in public recognition than in interacting with the team.
As a result of monitoring scientific work, The Hustle came to the conclusion that introverts have more character traits of a real leader.
Here are the myths that prevent introverts from being trusted in leadership positions in the company.
Myth 1. Introverts shy away from leadership positions
One of the simplest and most popular stereotypes about introverts is that they don't want to be leaders themselves. History will easily refute this: many world-famous leaders were uncommunicative and closed. For example, political and civil activist Mahatma Gandhi, American presidents Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln, entrepreneurs Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg.
A few years ago, in a public speech, Bill Gates said, "If you're smart, you can take advantage of your introversion."
Bill Gates
Myth 2. Introverts don't have charisma
Leaders are often associated with charisma, and charisma with effective leadership. The researchers analyzed a database of 17,000 executives and found that a charming person was 2 times more likely to be hired for a leadership position than someone who did not possess charisma.
However, charm did not correlate in any way with the efficiency of a person's work. Whereas uncommunicative leaders exceeded expectations and were more productive. Because introverted leaders don't vent their energy, they are more focused on the emotions of those around them.
Introverts have more blood flow to the frontal lobes and thalamus, areas of the brain that deal with internal processing and problem solving. This gives them the ability to work in difficult situations with small teams.
Myth 3.
Introverts do not communicate well It is easy to confuse deepening into a person's inner world with his lack of interest. In fact, introverts just think things over more. “I spend a lot of time projecting my words before I say or do anything. - says John Sherwin, CEO of a pharmaceutical startup. “Very rarely do I express an unthinking thought.”
Therefore, introverts listen to others more attentively, and then, after thinking everything over, they answer. This way of communication is beneficial for real leaders. Researchers have shown that introverts are more specific, accurate in statements and descriptions. They need more time to formulate a thought, but when they speak, their phrases are well structured and meaningful.
Myth 4. Introverts don't like collaboration
Although introverts prefer to work alone, they are also capable of working towards shared goals, especially in dynamic, unpredictable environments such as startups.
A Harvard study found that extroverts are better at leading passive teams—those in which employees sketch out tasks.
It is very difficult for sociable leaders to lead a team of active workers. However, introverts do this better because they are more responsive to suggestions and better at listening to other members of the work group.
Scientists analyzed 57 managers and 374 employees in 130 pizzeria locations. It turned out that franchises led by introverts are 20% more profitable than outlets with extroverted leaders.
In another study, researchers divided 163 students into 56 groups. Some groups were led by introverts, others by extroverts. The teams had to fold the maximum number of shirts in 10 minutes. Groups with introverted leaders were 28% more productive.
Researchers have concluded that extroverted leaders are highly resistant to proactive subordinates, while introverts listen carefully to workers, making people feel valued in the team. This motivates employees to work harder.
What can introverts do to show leadership?
The Hustle asked successful introvert founders to share the methods they have used to bring out the best in their introversion.
Here's what they said:
- Balance your time: For every 1-hour meeting, be sure to schedule at least 30 minutes for yourself.
- Go beyond your head: write down all your ideas and share them with someone you trust. Don't hide your inner genius from the world.
- Be real: don't try to be an extrovert and don't force yourself to be more outgoing.
- In communication, it is not the quantity that matters, but the quality. Build good personal and professional relationships with people you know instead of making new contacts.
- Explain what you think. Introverts think a lot before they speak. Don't forget to share with others how you came up with your idea.
- Update your observations: you notice a lot, so offer your unique point of view. Turn your observations into helpful suggestions.
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Everything you need to know about introverted leaders
A growing body of research shows that introverts can also be great managers.
Photo: Fotoimedia
After all, billionaires Warren Buffett, Larry Page and Bill Gates are introverts. And some executives, including Ian Cook, head of Colgate Palmolive, even see their introversion as an advantage.
The key to success for extroverts and introverts is to be honest about your strengths and weaknesses and choose the right course of action, writes Quarz.
What's the difference?
An introvert is not necessarily a shy person. An extrovert is not always sociable.
It would be more accurate to say that introverts tend to perceive social interaction as something exhausting, especially interaction in large groups of people. They restore energy on their own. An even more accurate characteristic is sensitivity: introverts need more external stimulus from other people. And they need solitude to recover.
Why is introversion good?
Sensitivity is power.
A study by Wharton professor Adam Grant shows that introverted leaders are much more open to new ideas that employees bring to them, while extroverted leaders feel threatened in such employees and often do not allow them to speak out.
Thus, introverted leaders ultimately increase the productivity of employees by managing active people. Introverts also attach less importance to their status and are more likely to admit mistakes.
Introverts are also more abstract thinkers, more forward-thinking, and generally lack some of the negative traits commonly associated with extraversion, such as aggressiveness or high self-esteem.
What a day in the life of an introverted manager looks like
Great introverted leaders have created their own rules that work for them. For example, instead of using a command-and-control approach, Warren Buffett favors a particularly extreme form of decentralization (described in detail in The Outsiders).
He has complete confidence in the executives who run his Berkshire subsidiaries. There are a few employees at Berkshire Hathaway headquarters, but meetings are incredibly infrequent. However, there is always an option for managers to call Warren for advice.
That's not to say he's hard to get in touch with - many of his best deals come from meeting private and family business owners. However, his very successful management philosophy is to find good people and set them free, instead of actively rallying the team every day and managing it.
Balance your weaknesses
At Microsoft, Bill Gates compensated for his introverted traits with the help of key people. Last year, speaking on Australian television, he said the following:
"If you want to hire people who will be inspired by their work, you know better what extroverts do, so you better hire extroverts, like Steve Ballmer, who I consider an extrovert, and use both sets of skills to build a company, capable of both thoughtful work and building a team that successfully sells these ideas.
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Be honest about your quirks
Douglas Conant, often associated with the success of Campbell's soup, told the Harvard Business Review that being an introverted leader can often be difficult. People often saw him as an uninterested loner. Then he decided to tell the employees about his features and ask for help:
"One of the best ways I have come up with to help people get over their discomfort with my behavior is to simply tell them about myself. I tell them, 'If you see me looking away, please understand that I'm shy and I want you to call me." After talking about himself, he found that people quickly and with understanding adapted to his style of communication. "
Potential Pitfalls
People still perceive extroverted leaders as more effective. Extroverts are likely to be more likely to become leaders, regardless of their objective performance, so this is a gap that introverted leaders will have to overcome.
