What does emotional abuse mean

What is emotional abuse? | The National Domestic Violence Hotline

“I don’t want you going out with them. I trust you; I just don’t trust them.”

“You know you can’t get anyone better than me. You are lucky to be with me.”

“Are you sure you want to eat that? I’m just attracted to someone who takes care of themselves.”

“You’re so dumb. I knew this would be over your head.”

Do any of these sentences sound familiar? If so, you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Many people hear the word “abuse” and think of physical violence. Physical abuse is one type of abuse, but it is certainly not the only one.

According to The Hotline’s 2020 Data, 95% of contacts stated they were experiencing emotional abuse. Emotional abuse may not be what most people think about when they picture abuse, but that does not make it any less real or less serious. Because of its subtleties, emotional abuse can be quite difficult to detect when it is being experienced. Emotional abuse is also a foundation for other forms of abuse. Often, it is used erode a person’s self-esteem and self-worth and create a psychological dependency on the abusive partner. Let’s look at what emotional abuse is and how to know if emotional abuse is present in your relationship.

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you. This may present in romantic relationships as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, dismissiveness, among others. Sometimes emotional abuse is more obvious, like a partner yelling at you or calling you names. Other times it can be more subtle, like your partner acting jealous of your friends or not wanting you to hang out with someone of another gender. While these emotionally abusive behaviors do not leave physical marks, they do hurt, disempower, and traumatize the partner who is experiencing the abuse.

Over time, emotional abuse can wear down a person’s self-worth, confidence, and their mental and emotional strength.

It’s difficult to feel sure of yourself when a partner is demeaning, dismissing, and second-guessing you constantly. Additionally, when you care about someone and have invested time in the relationship with them, you want to believe the best of them, and you may convince yourself that you were overreacting in how you interpreted their hurtful actions or words. An emotionally abusive partner may try to gaslight you by telling you outright that you are overreacting, being dramatic, being too emotional, or that you can’t take a joke.

For these reasons and more, it can be tough to detect emotional abuse and see it as a dangerous concern. Even then, survivors of emotional abuse are often hesitant to seek help or tell friends and family about their relationship concerns because they fear they will not be believed or taken seriously. Nonetheless, emotional abuse is serious, and it is not uncommon for emotional abuse to escalate to physical violence. In some relationships this escalation to physical abuse is slow, and in others it can happen rapidly.

So how do you know if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship?

Here are some red flags:

Your partner name calls you or demeans you.
Your partner tries to control you, your time, and your actions.
Your partner tells you what to do and what to wear.
Your partner often makes you feel silly or dumb.
Your partner questions your reality and says that things that you know happened didn’t happen. This is called gaslighting.
Your partner is critical of your appearance.
Your partner is jealous of time spent with your friends or family.
Your partner punishes you by withholding attention or affection.
Your partner doesn’t want you hanging out with someone of another gender.
Your partner makes threats to hurt you or others to get what they want.
Your partner wants you to ask for permission before doing something or spending time with other people.
Your partner monitors where you go and stalks your whereabouts.
Your partner doesn’t want you to work.
Your partner embarrasses you in public.
Your partner does not trust you and acts possessive.
Your partner threatens breaking up or divorce to manipulate an argument.
Your partner wants access to your phone, your passwords, or your social media.
Your partner threatens suicide during arguments.
Your partner is constantly accusing you of cheating.
Your partner blames you for their unhealthy/abusive behaviors.
Your partner makes you feel guilty or immature for not wanting to have sex.
Your partner overloads you with compliments and gifts, and then uses that to manipulate you later (love bombing).

If any of these red flags feel familiar to you, know that you do not deserve to be treated that way and that you are not alone. It can be hard to decide what your next step should be, after learning that your relationship is not healthy. You might consider reaching out to a trusted friend or family member to talk about what you have been going through. You can also reach out to our Hotline advocates to talk about next steps and options available to you.

We are here 24/7 via phone, online chat, and text to provide you with education, support, and safety planning. The Hotline is completely free and confidential.

Answers shouldn’t be hard to find.

We're here to help!

Safe Horizon | 5 Signs of Emotional Abuse

By Jennifer Koza
May 23, 2017

To understand emotional abuse, we need to understand the difference between emotional abuse and normal conflict.

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship and is a healthy way for two people to express emotions, identify an issue, and have a chance to talk through whatever issue is bothering them.

Emotional abuse involves nonphysical behavior that belittles another person and can include insults, put down, verbal threats or other tactics that make the victim feel threatened, inferior, ashamed or degraded.

When is Conflict Actually Not Conflict, but Something More? When is it Emotional Abuse?

Have you ever experienced the feeling of having a knot in your stomach when dealing with someone or just felt that something in your relationship was off? When one party feels scared, confused or like nothing they do will ever be right, this may be an indication or sign of emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse is behavior from another person that makes you consistently feel badly about yourself, like you just can’t be you. Emotional abuse is not limited to romantic partner, but can be perpetrated by a family member, friend or coworker. Emotional abuse can make you feel guilty, ashamed, silenced, violated, uncomfortable or many other things. Emotional abuse can be harder to identify since no one else can necessarily “see” its effects like they can a bruise, cut, or a scar.

Abusive behavior is often motivated by a desire for power and control but the reasons why that need exists varies. Maybe the person who hurt you didn’t do so on purpose; maybe they did. While it’s helpful to understand the “why”, the reasons are not an excuse for harmful behavior- but they can make everything more confusing. Emotional abuse is complicated and disorienting. Below are 5 common signs of emotional abuse:

They are Hyper-Critical or Judgmental Towards You
- It is human nature to critique or judge, but in emotionally abusive situations, someone takes it to the next level. This can look like someone is:
  - Putting you down in front of others
  - Humiliating or embarrassing you
  - Using sarcasm or “teasing” or “jokes” to make you feel badly about yourself
  - Having an opinion about a lot of what you say, do, or think
  - Upset if/when you don’t agree (e.g., how you dress, how you spend your money, who you spend time with, what you are interested in)
They Ignore Boundaries or Invade Your Privacy
- We all have the right to our own space. Sometimes it can be tricky to distinguish between the rush and thrill of any new relationship or connection and a violation of your space because you may feel that you want to spend all of your time with this awesome person. This can look like your partner:
  - Wants to move a relationship faster than you are comfortable with either emotionally or physically (e.g. saying “I love you” very quickly and pressuring you to do the same, pushing you to engage in sexual activities, pushing you to move in together)
  - Checks your texts messages, email or social media accounts without your permission
They are Possessive and/or Controlling
- The abuser may try to restrict your behavior through unreasonable jealousy such as:
  - Monitoring your actions
  - Constantly calling or texting when you are not around
  - Getting upset when you want to spend time by yourself or with family or friends alone
  - Isolating you from other people in your life and/or activities you enjoy or work
  - Demanding access to your phone, email, or social media accounts
They are Manipulative
- An emotionally abusive person may try many things to get you to do what they want or feel badly, such as:
  - Withdrawing affection when you’ve done something “wrong”
  - Ignoring or excluding you
  - Guilt trips
  - Making you doubt yourself
  - Denying something you know is true
They Often Dismiss You and Your Feelings
- The abuser might try to play down your emotions or feelings by:
  - Saying you are too sensitive or calling you crazy
  - Making fun of your achievements or hopes and dreams
- Refusing to talk about or take responsibility for their actions
- Blaming you or someone else for their actions (it’s never their fault)
- Being indifferent to your feelings

There is Help for Emotional Abuse

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our Hotlines page.
If you need resources outside of New York, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

How to recognize emotional abuse? Here are 10 clear signs

Psychology

Close relationships are rarely violent from the very beginning. On the contrary, often the one who commits violence is very attentive and caring at first. That's just a caring attitude can also be a form of control. Especially if this concern becomes too much. How to recognize emotional abuse, therapist Teresa Comito told in her book “So you can: get out of relationships that hurt”, which was published by “There is a sense”.

Control

Control is the most important tool in abusive relationships. All the tactics and signs of violence described in this chapter are related to the aggressor's desire to maintain control over you. At first, he can do this through attention, protection, care. At this stage, he is completely fascinated by you and idealizes you as much as possible, he can say phrases like "You are the one I was looking for", "You are my only one forever. " All these statements make you believe him and lull your vigilance.

But within an abusive relationship, this behavior is often designed to control every aspect of your life. The abusive partner begins to distinguish your naturalness, the ideal image that he has come up with for himself recedes, and as a result, his anxiety intensifies and the fear of losing his “ideal object” appears, so he often keeps track of where you are going and where you are, insists that so that you always stay in touch, decides for you who you can and cannot see, what you can wear and what not, and so on. At the same time, he can be aggressive and demanding, or he can dress his demands in the form of "useful advice." Demands can often come with criticism, and it is possible that over time you will notice that disobedience to "advice" backfires.

Name-calling

Name-calling - verbal insults designed to win an argument, put you down, hurt your self-worth - can be subtle and disguised as playful jokes. For example, a joke hurt your feelings, you report it, and in response you hear: “how tender we are”, “it’s impossible to joke, or something”, “yes, you misunderstood everything”, “they carry water on the offended”, etc. The purpose of name-calling is to humiliate and devalue the interlocutor. If your personality is constantly trampled underfoot in an argument, often resorting to statements with “never” and “always”, rest assured that this is all due to the desire to control, dominate and break you.

Here is an example of such a statement: “You keep forgetting about my requests! No brains, or is the problem somewhere else?

Shouting

Shouting is known to be an increase in tone, but the manipulator uses shouting as a powerful tool for systematic intimidation. The victim has no choice but to give in to the aggressor, who imposes his will with a cry. Raising the voice greatly frightens, exhausts, drives to a frenzy and deprives one of the strength and ability to argue and resist in any way. Over time, this behavior undermines moral strength and self-esteem.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting - much talked about in recent years - is a phenomenon whose title contains a reference to the 1930s play "Gas Light" in which a husband tries to set his wife up for marriage. grave, imposing on her the thought that she had gone mad. Here are some of the abusive gaslighting strategies:

The abuser withholds information or doesn't tell, doesn't feel the need to report.
Distorts facts to please himself.
Devalues experience and feelings with jokes and sarcasm
partners.
Denies and belittles the partner's reactions and experiences.
Acts as if he or the partner did not say what was actually said - or pretends that a number of events did not occur.

Gaslighting forces a person to doubt their own feelings and perception of reality. A victim often hears the following:

"I didn't say that. "
"You didn't tell me that."
"That didn't happen."
"Are you sure you didn't dream it?"
"You are too sensitive."

Isolation

The abuser perceives your contact with friends and family as a threat to your relationship and may attempt to limit it. It may start with criticism or devaluation of your relationships with friends and relatives. For example, he claims that your loved ones treat you badly or take advantage of you - or that they steal the time you could spend with him. There may be some truth in these arguments that will affect or confuse you. If in the past you initiated a partner into some difficulties in communicating with one of your relatives, and now you are going to communicate with this relative, the manipulator can immediately remind you of past difficulties.

Threats

A threat is the expressed intention to harm or hurt you—or deprive you of something. This is a manipulative way of coercion, based on potential violence.

The fear of fulfillment of the threat becomes a powerful motivator, thanks to which the witness of violence tries to correct the situation and adjust to the emotional abuser. Statements like these, all taken from people who have actually experienced abusive relationships, spur on a fear that has been in you for a long time:

"I will kill myself."
"I will kill you."
"If you are not by my side, no one else
.”
"I'll take the kids."
"I'll hand you over to the migration service."
"I'll tell your family everything."
"I will destroy your life"
"I'll leave you penniless."
"I'll cheat on you."
"I will never let you go."
"Isn't it time for you to say goodbye to this position?"

Punishment

Punishment is the abuser's reaction to any infringement, rejection or rejection. It can manifest itself in the form of revenge or coercion. The aggressor hurts the partner in order to get even with her and forces her to change her behavior. Thus, he relieves his stress and impotence from the inability to completely subdue her. The more the partner disobeys the aggressor, the more severe his punishment.

Rejection

Rejection is any action that negates your needs and positive aspects. You and your achievements become unimportant and inconspicuous, the partner makes you a burden in his life, shows fatigue and does not show interest. Rejection may include denial of manifestations of love, attention, affection.

Thus, the abuser seeks to discredit, devalue you, your dignity and your contribution to the relationship, including what you are ready to give him, as if imposing the idea that you are not needed and not desired.

Neglect

Neglect is behavior in which a person seemingly accidentally and unintentionally deprives you of attention and affection, as a result of which you can no longer satisfy your emotional need for acceptance, love and closeness. The partner may forget to fulfill your request (for example, go to the pharmacy on the way home), not take into account your characteristics and desires (give something unnecessary instead of what you asked for), disrupt agreements (cancel the meeting at the last minute). There are also such strange things when the wife has been allergic to fish for many years, and the husband continues to celebrate his birthday in a fish restaurant. Neglect can also be expressed in careless and irresponsible behavior, ignoring, showing a partner’s interest in other girls in front of your eyes, especially if you indicated that you don’t like it, stopping contact with you (forgot to write, was busy, disappeared for a week / month was on a business trip).

Economic violence

Economic violence is based on restricting access to funds, hiding financial information, establishing complete control over money - often this model resembles a "child-parent" model. Among other things, the abuser will try to keep his partner at home, will not allow him to go to work and have his own earnings. Often in such relationships, a woman does not know how much her partner earns, and in order to get some money, she is forced to constantly beg for them, justify the reason
or provide receipts for expenses. If she has her own earnings, the partner can completely take it for herself.

Consequences of emotional abuse

Emotional abuse is fraught with long-term consequences, not only emotional but also physiological. It can sometimes be difficult for a survivor to relate the experience of abuse to physical symptoms. Feelings like shame, confusion, and fear only make it harder to recognize the consequences. Prolonged psychological abuse leads to increased fatigue, weakness and fatigue, pressure problems, tachycardia attacks or sudden breathing problems (shortness of breath, feeling of lack of oxygen) may appear. In addition to sleep disorders (insomnia, nightmares), problems with the gastrointestinal tract, nausea, stool disorders, and even frequent urination can occur - all of these are symptoms of neurotic disorders of the body under the influence of constant stress in a violent relationship.

Anxiety

In the animal kingdom, anxiety is an important survival mechanism, it occurs as a reaction to danger and prepares the body for action: to run or fight (“fight, run, freeze”). Physiologically, adrenaline is released in the body, which prepares the body for the next load. A person with signs of a threat also gets into an emotional experience of danger, and at the physiological level the body receives a cocktail of stress hormones. If psychological violence is repeated regularly and often, then anxiety develops into a chronic state of impotence, a person is seized by a sense of impending catastrophe, horror from the inside, even in states of apparent peace.

Chronic pain

We know that there is a relationship between psychological abuse, trauma and chronic pain. The exact reasons have not been fully established. But constant stress affects humoral regulation, that is, it changes the level of hormones in the body. In fact, the human body, under the influence of constant stress, lives in chronic mobilization, danger and cannot relax even at night - all this affects the wear and tear of the body, which is fraught with exacerbation of past diseases or the acquisition of new ones.

Recent trauma research points to a direct link between traumatic experiences and unexplained bodily reactions, including acute chronic pain of undetermined origin.

Nature's "fight, run, freeze" mechanism releases stress hormones and suppresses the immune system. Overactivation of stress hormones interferes with the regulation of the immune system and causes multiple inflammations in the body, which can lead to various diseases and chronic pain.

Guilt

Survivors of psychological abuse often experience guilt. An abusive partner may blame you for any of his troubles, including the violence that he uses against you. There is a so-called neurotic, or, as they say, a toxic feeling of guilt, when objectively a woman is not guilty and cannot take responsibility for what she is accused of, but is forced to believe in her guilt and take this blame on herself. Chronic guilt can lead to symptoms such as insomnia, loss of appetite, depression, and constant regret. It is very similar to depression, and clinical depression is often the result of guilt as a huge unbearable burden that the victim takes on and a perceived responsibility to the abusive partner.

Insomnia

Constant psychological pressure has a strong effect on the quality of sleep. You can find it difficult to fall asleep: you toss and turn for a long time, scroll through the events from the past in a circle in your head. Or your deep sleep is disturbed: either you often wake up at the same time, or you wake up early and can no longer fall asleep. Chronic stress and emotional abuse cause the nervous system to become overexcited - this is how the body reacts to a constant threat. Excitation sends a signal of danger to the brain - therefore, the whole body is in good shape, it is impossible to relax, and it becomes even more difficult to fall asleep. Lack of sleep is fraught with long-term consequences, it accumulates in chronic fatigue. The nervous system, not having a quality rest, can react sharply to daily external signals. There will be no more strength for those simple things at home, at work, in relationships with other people that you used to have strength for. Therefore, self-care and sleep hygiene are extremely important for recovery.

Social isolation

Social isolation can affect your self-esteem, make you feel guilty, among other physical and emotional symptoms. You spend a lot of internal resources on restoring your own strength, on experiencing strong feelings of pain, resentment, injustice, all this is very exhausting, forcing you to isolate yourself from friends and family. In an acute state, you may only be interested in relationship problems with a partner, but it can also be embarrassing to talk about it with others. Thus, as if protecting ourselves, we cut ourselves off from third-party opinions, and at the same time from the emotional support of loved ones. Due to the fact that they no longer have access to us, they cannot notice what is happening to us, cannot assess our stressful state and, accordingly, help and support in time.

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Author:

Daria Sidelnikova, September 16, 2022

What is psychological abuse? | No Violence

Psychological violence is a form of non-physical oppression. In most cases, this is not about one-time harassment, but about an established model of interaction where one person dominates and the other is forced to obey.

Psychological violence is an invariable component of systemic domestic violence. There are a number of strategies that the aggressor uses. Their main feature is derogatory and offensive behavior, and the goal is to gain control over the victim, her perception of what is happening, over time and lifestyle. The aggressor will first try to gain confidence under the guise of care and attention, and then begin to criticize and humiliate the victim: make harmless remarks that will gradually develop into systemic insults. One of the main tasks of psychological violence is to destroy a person's self-esteem, to deprive him of the ability to resist control and suppression.

How to recognize psychological abuse?

The difference between ordinary conflict and psychological violence lies in the consistency. In a conflict, you can find out the specific cause of dissatisfaction and try to eliminate it, the parties can argue on equal terms and disagree, after solving the problem, you can no longer return to it. The conflict will be resolved, and the behavior of the aggressor will not be repeated.

If your partner hurt you, you can explain to him why you shouldn't do it. He will hear criticism and give his word that he will not do this again. He will keep his word, or at least try to do it - after all, it is really important for a partner to invest in changes if he wants to maintain a relationship.

It is impossible to negotiate with the aggressor. He may pretend to accept your terms, but in fact he will not abide by them. He can only create the appearance of change, which is also a strategy of power and control over a partner.

You can check if there is psychological abuse in your relationship by calling this link.

Types of psychological abuse

Depreciation

We easily recognize direct threats, gross insults, open accusations. It is much more difficult to see the danger if the aggressor is disguised and speaks to you calmly, even jokingly. The phrases “What a clumsy you are with me” and “You are my little pig” eventually turn into “You have been doing nothing all day”, “You are dumb as a cork” and “You have recovered”. Depreciation has several basic forms:

Caring. The aggressor may mask devaluation with care. For example, “Why did you buy tickets to Thailand? It's also the rainy season. I lost money, so you won’t get any pleasure from the trip either. ” Even if you understand the issue better and know that the rains there are warm and short, it will still be unpleasant for you.
Criticism. Healthy criticism is always correct and is combined with praise. It comes in response to a specific situation and refers to your actions, not your personality. Any other statements are devaluation. For example, "You are stupid - everything always falls out of your hands."
Council. Healthy advice is the one you asked for. Criticism will be veiled in the imposed advice. For example, "You are very stout - walk more in the fresh air and start doing exercises."

If you are constantly criticized and pointed out to you about shortcomings and mistakes, this is a reason to be wary. From depreciation, a constant feeling of guilt appears and an inferiority complex is formed.

Control

The aggressor can constantly monitor your actions, impose his opinion, follow social networks. If you don't follow instructions, you risk being punished. Over time, the bans are tightened, and new restrictions are already accompanied by blackmail and scandals.

Signs that there is too much control in a relationship:

Your partner decides how and with whom you should spend your time. In fact, the purpose of the aggressor is to isolate you, to make himself your only close person.
You feel a threat from your partner: overt or covert. It doesn't have to be physical violence. Any threats are just a tool to get what you want from you.
Partner requires full transparency. And you can’t find fault with an excuse - if you don’t do anything wrong, do you have something to hide?
Partner is too jealous. It controls where you are, with whom and what you do. Bans, restrictions and threats are used.
Partner plays on your guilt. After all, you, feeling guilty, will try to make amends for your “sins”.
You constantly have to make excuses for your every action.
Partner does not care about your point of view. The opposite opinion destroys his picture of the world. If you disagree with something, then you are wrong, and / or do not understand something, and / or he has not yet convinced you.
Your partner constantly expects confirmation of your own importance from you. For example, he starts a fight if you don't text him every hour asking "How are you?" or "What are you doing?"

Gaslighting

“Don't make it up”, “It didn't happen” are common phrases for a gaslighter. The manipulator seeks to change your perception of reality and denies facts from the past. Contradictory statements make you feel insecure about your perception and feel vulnerable. When you are accused of strange fantasies, you seem to go crazy and stop trusting yourself, your thoughts and feelings.

Gaslighting can be recognized in three stages. The first is doubt. You have to face the strange behavior of the aggressor. For example, after a successful date, a man abruptly says goodbye. After a couple of days, he writes that in fact he really liked you, but he was upset that you didn’t even hug him goodbye.

In such a situation, it is quite natural to feel a stupor. After all, you remember that it was the other way around. It means that the new partner misunderstood something and considered your emotions wrong. You will try to find out the relationship and come to a common denominator.

The next stage is protection. At this stage, strangeness will no longer be your main concern: you will have to fully protect yourself from manipulation. The aggressor will accuse you of excessive emotionality and nervousness.

For example, he will once again violate some agreement. You will get angry and will expect a substantive conversation, that he will take responsibility and apologize. Instead, the aggressor will ask you to "don't freak out" - your emotions will be the focus of the discussion, not the actions of the aggressor who broke the promise.

The final stage is depression. You will lose all joy in life, you will be isolated from loved ones, you will begin to doubt your actions and mental health.

Ignoring or emotional swings

The aggressor at first emotionally withdraws and does not show interest in the feelings, emotions and deeds of the victim. Then suddenly again becomes an attentive, sensitive and gentle partner.

Such behavior makes one constantly on the alert, guessing about the reasons for a sharp and sudden change of mood. As a rule, a person feels guilty and tries to adapt to the aggressor, looking for the reasons for his behavior in himself.

Signs of an emotional swing:

"Love bombing". The manipulator throws all his strength into making you fall in love: confessions, promises, constant correspondence, gifts and grand gestures.
Pattern change. Behavior that will cause you to ask, “What did I do wrong?” For example, your partner used to text you “Good morning” every morning, but now he constantly forgets about it.
Non-specific hints. The partner will dreamily think about how you will spend the summer abroad, but never implement this plan. He will create the illusion that the relationship will last a long time and you can safely make plans.
Pressure. The manipulator will play with your sense of fear. For example, if you are afraid of heights, he will lead you to a restaurant on the top floor, convincing you that next to him you have nothing to fear.

Low self-esteem. “You’re a little old, but I still love you” is a great example of this technique. The partner binds you to himself - after all, it turns out that only he is ready to put up with your shortcomings.

Blackmail and intimidation

"If you... then I..." - familiar manipulation? The aggressor often threatens to leave, divorce, leave without money or sex, and sometimes commit suicide. So he punishes the "naughty" partner, seeking certain behavior from her.

An intimate tactic works even more "effectively": "If you don't do what I ask, I'll show everyone your naked photos." Shame and embarrassment cause the victim to neglect herself for the sake of the desires of her partner.

Insulation

This type of psychological abuse involves the restriction of communication. “Your girlfriend is a bad influence on you” is a wake-up call phrase. First, the aggressor abruptly ceases to like your loved ones. Then he begins to devalue them and reduce your communication. If you ignore his prohibitions, he will punish you. Because of isolation, you will gradually withdraw, lose support and become emotionally dependent on the aggressor.

Why don't survivors of psychological abuse leave?

With constant criticism, the victim's self-esteem is destroyed, and self-confidence becomes shaky. In this state, it is easier for the aggressor to impose his opinion and desired behavior. The victim doubts the correctness of her actions, she is instilled with a sense of failure and guilt.

Most often, the victims depend on the aggressors: common children, common property and material dependence do not allow them to leave. Society condemns a woman who leaves her husband, her parents and relatives often also do not support such a decision. The woman has nowhere to go. Sometimes it is dangerous to break off a relationship without support - modern law does not provide effective protection. Former partners may harass women, threaten them. Fear of separation or separation itself is one of the most common reasons why women are killed by their partners. Often the aggressors threaten to take the children away. The psychological state also affects the decision - violence is cyclical, and the victims do not see a way out of it. Therefore, they can leave the relationship and return to it several times.

Consequences of psychological violence

Any form of domestic violence has a destructive effect on a person. Psychological, sexualized, physical and economic abuse can have similar effects. A person loses confidence in himself and the world, he develops anxiety, sleep and appetite disturbances, depression, aggressiveness and low self-esteem.

The victim may have a tendency to seclusion, suicidal tendencies, psychopathology: drug addiction, bulimia, anorexia, somatic and psychosomatic diseases. Often women who have experienced violence suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is manifested by a spectrum of symptoms such as obsessive memories and dreams, increased anxiety, secrecy and the desire for loneliness, decreased emotionality, a tendency to depression and drug use, unmotivated cruelty, aggressiveness, auto-aggression and suicidal tendencies.

How to resist psychological abuse?

Try to honestly answer the question: are you ready to endure psychological violence from the aggressor just because he is your loved one? Maybe it's better to stop communicating with him?

Say "no" to the aggressor.
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