Three types of bullying

​Things to do: Offensive messages can spread anonymously and quickly, resulting in 24/7 cyberbullying, so set your home internet rules first. Agree with your child about age-appropriate time limits. Be aware of popular and potentially offensive sites, apps, and digital devices before your child starts using them. Let your child know that you intend to track their online activity. Tell him that if he is being cyberbullied, he must not engage in, react to, or provoke the bully. Instead, he needs to report the cyberbullying to you so that you can print the provocative messages, including the dates and times they were received. Report cyberbullying to the school and ISP. If cyberbullying escalates and contains threats and sexually explicit messages, contact local law enforcement. nine0003

If a child tells you that he or someone else is being bullied, support him, praise the child for having the courage to tell you about it, and gather information (do not get angry and blame the child himself). Emphasize the difference between snitching just to get someone in trouble and having a frank conversation with an adult who can help. Always take action against bullying, especially if the abuse is severe or persistent, contact your child's teacher or principal to monitor the situation until it stops. nine0003

Three types of bullying. Bullying. How to End Violence and Create a Society with More Kindness

All four methods of bullying - one-time, constant multiple, bullying and cyber-bullying - can be vertical (the victim is higher or lower in status than the aggressor) or horizontal (the aggressor and the victim are equal in status). If a child is humiliated by a teacher or one of the parents or older brothers/sisters, this is vertical bullying. A group of peers who bully a friend is bullying horizontally. The teacher and students who turn against a classmate are involved in both horizontal and vertical bullying: an extremely devastating combination for the victim. nine0003

There are three types of participation in these four ways of bullying: verbal, physical and behavioral (aka social). Each option in itself is capable of causing tremendous harm, but the aggressors often combine them - to be sure . .. Both boys and girls participate in verbal bullying. Boys are more likely to resort to physical, girls are more likely to resort to behavioral. This is due to the unequal social roles of men and women characteristic of our culture, and not the difference in physical parameters.

Physical bullying is not exclusively the prerogative of boys. Large girls can also shove and push smaller peers of both sexes, mocking them. Still, the main type of bullying among girls is behavioral. At the same time, they usually unite in small, closer communities with clear external boundaries. Accordingly, by excluding a girl from such a social circle, the comrades are already causing her considerable suffering.

Verbal bullying

“Even though you call it a pot, just don’t put it in the oven”, “Swearing doesn’t hang on the collar” - are these proverbs really true? Evil words are powerful weapons, they can break the child they are aimed at. nine0003

So, the most common form of bullying is verbal abuse. Both boys and girls use them. Aggressors often justify their behavior by stating, "It's just a joke!" or “We didn’t mean to offend anyone!” According to statistics, verbal bullying accounts for 70% of cases of bullying. It is not easy to catch the offender in such bullying: it is possible to whisper evil words even in the presence of adults - no one but the victim will hear. And on the playground, on the contrary, you can yell nasty things at the top of your voice - go and make out in the general noise and uproar who exactly did it, and adults usually tend to regard all this as something insignificant. For the aggressor, bullying is quick and safe, but for the victim, it can be extremely painful. The most receptive to words are young children with a not yet fully formed understanding of their own "I", although repeated insults can eventually break even those who already have a well-developed self-defense system. nine0003

A 14-year-old teenager from Surrey (British Columbia, Canada) who committed suicide left a suicide letter in which four out of five pages were occupied by a list of humiliating nicknames and insults he received from classmates (most often the boy was called “four-eyed”, “shnobel ", "geek" and "faggot"). And a girl, his age, wounded her friend with a pistol, allegedly turning away from her and joining the tormentors, who called her an idiot, stupid, fat and terrible ...

Another 14-year-old, this time from Buffalo, New York, was verbally bullied online and eye to eye for several years in a row: “You fag”, “Die! We don't care! Nobody will cry. Everyone will be very happy. " This boy also committed suicide...

If adults in a given community consider verbal bullying to be permissible, or at least not punishable, it becomes the norm. Thus, the dehumanization of the victims is reinforced. It is easier to attack a dehumanized, impersonal person - he does not arouse compassion in those around him. When a child is constantly ridiculed, he is often excluded from social activities, that is, he is the last to be called anywhere, and the first to be driven from everywhere. Who needs a loser? nine0003

Verbal bullying is name-calling, ridicule, belittling, harsh, malicious criticism, slander, racist insults, obscene or sexually derogatory language. It can also be accompanied by extortion (of, say, pocket money or items), phone threats, threatening emails, rude messages, obscene comments on social media, anonymous letters containing threats of violence, and slanderous gossip. Yes, gossip is also a form of bullying. Hesiod is also the first historically reliable ancient Greek poet who lived in the 8th century BC. e., said that gossip is insidious, lightweight, spreads quickly, but it is difficult to bear it and it is difficult to get rid of it. Gossip devalues ​​human relationships and publicizes the problems of a bullied child. nine0003

Physical bullying

Physical bullying is the most obvious type of bullying. It's hard not to notice, although children themselves report physical bullying in less than 30% of cases. It is rarely the first resort resorted to by aggressors. First, verbal and/or behavioral bullying is usually used, and then, seeing that they get away with insults, they move on to physical abuse. The older and stronger the aggressor, the more dangerous the situation, even if serious harm is not his intention: “I just wanted to scare him. I didn't mean to break his arm!" nine0003

Most often, physical harassment is expressed in slaps, kicks, punches and kicks, strangulation, but is not limited to them. Aggressors can bite, pinch, scratch the victim, twist her arms, and also spoil her clothes and property. Unfortunately, in the arsenal of physical harassment there are tools for torture, and even weapons ...

In 2012, CNN reported that in Daegu, South Korea, a 13-year-old boy jumped out of the seventh floor window of his house. He left a note in which he described in detail how classmates beat him with sticks and beat him, wearing boxing gloves, took things and money, burned them with lighters and tied an electric wire around his neck like a leash. Another boy wrote that physical bullying was preceded by years of verbal bullying and humiliation. nine0003

Korean specialists identify three main types of this kind of influence on a person: 1) coercion to do something that a person does not want, extortion, threats, insults; 2) ostracism and isolation; 3) physical or sexual abuse. Lim Seng Min drank all three bitter cups. Notice what he said about the long years of verbal bullying, extortion and humiliation before the aggressors turned to physical torture. This is the usual path - from verbal bullying to behavioral, and then to physical. If a child has been physically bullied, it is almost always safe to say that they have already experienced verbal and/or behavioral bullying. nine0003

Aggressors who use physical violence to bully their peers are often a source of constant headache for teachers and parents, but most often they themselves experience considerable problems. Nevertheless, they have every chance to turn into violent criminals over time.

Outside the schoolyard

I will allow myself a small digression here, I will ask a question, who is in the zone of special professional risk, and I will answer it. nine0003

There are two spheres of human activity in which there is a decrease in the already low level of horizontal physical violence (between status equals) and a significant increase in vertical violence (between status unequals) - these are education and medicine. Pedagogical and medical workers, of course, are not guaranteed against horizontal and vertical verbal bullying and behavioral bullying, but most of all, according to them, they are worried - and frightened! - physical abuse from those they are trying to help: students and patients. nine0003

...On the same day that several teenage girls from Carson City, Nevada, were arrested for inviting other high school students to join them on Facebook for "Attack - Teacher's Day!", in Omaha, Nebraska, a 17-year-old youth killed the head teacher, seriously wounded his assistant, and then shot himself. The girls studied well, and some were recognized leaders at school. In other words, these aggressors had a high social status. The guy, on the contrary, was expelled from school shortly before the tragedy. nine0003

The topic of violence against medical personnel in the workplace was raised in her article “Confronting violence is not my professional competence” (2011) by Laura A. Stokowski, a surgical nurse. The reason was - 48% of the total number of minor injuries received by employees of health and social care institutions, they are inflicted by patients. The article gives reasons why staff often do not report it: