Stockholm syndrome treatments

Origins, causes, symptoms, and treatment

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response that people often associate with infamous kidnappings and hostage situations. A person with Stockholm syndrome develops positive associations with their captors or abusers.

Keep reading to learn more about Stockholm syndrome and its causes, symptoms, and treatment, as well as some of the more famous specific case examples.

Share on PinterestImage credit: Li Wolfgang Schiffer / EyeEm / Getty Images.

The term Stockholm syndrome is the name for a psychological response to captivity and abuse. A person with Stockholm syndrome develops positive associations with their captors or abusers. Experts do not fully understand this response formation but think it may serve as a coping mechanism for people who experience trauma.

A person can develop Stockholm syndrome when they experience significant threats to their physical or psychological well-being.

A kidnapped person may develop positive associations with their captors if they have face-to-face contact with them.

If the person has experienced physical abuse from their captor, they may feel gratitude when the abuser treats them humanely or does not physically harm them.

A person may also attempt to appease an abuser in order to secure their safety. This strategy can positively reinforce the idea that they might be better off working with an abuser or captor. This could be another factor behind the development of Stockholm syndrome.

The vast majority of captives and survivors of abuse do not develop Stockholm syndrome.

Mental health experts do not recognize Stockholm syndrome as an official mental health disorder. As a result, it is not listed in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

Criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot originally coined the term Stockholm syndrome to explain the aftermath of a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1973.

On August 23, 1973, Jan-Erik Olsson attempted to rob the Normalmstorg bank. During the robbery, Olsson took four bank employees — Brigitta Lundblad, Elisabeth Oldgren, Kristin Ehnmark, and Sven Safstrom — hostage.

Later, Olsson’s former cellmate Clark Olofsson joined in the robbery. The two remained inside the bank with the four hostages. The situation developed into a six-day stand-off with police.

After the hostages’ release, the authorities found that they had developed strong emotional bonds towards their captors.

The hostages reported that Olsson and Oloffson treated them kindly and did not physically harm them. They defended their captors and refused to testify against them. Olsson even displayed positive feelings towards the hostages.

Many researchers, psychologists, and criminologists do not fully understand Stockholm syndrome, and some continue to debate whether it exists at all.

However, experts believe that Stockholm syndrome can develop when:

the captor treats their victims humanely
the captives and captors have significant face-to-face interaction, which provides opportunities to bond with one another

the captives feel that law enforcement personnel are not doing their jobs well enough
a captive thinks that the police and other authorities do not have their best interests at heart

Stockholm syndrome can manifest in several ways, including when the victims:

perceive kindness or compassion from their captor or abuser
develop positive feelings towards the individual or group of individuals holding them captive or abusing them
adopt the same goals, world views, and ideologies as the captors or abusers
feel pity toward the captors or abusers
refuse to leave their captors, even when given the opportunity to escape
have negative perceptions towards police, family, friends, and anyone else who may try to help them escape their situation
refuse to assist police and government authorities in prosecuting perpetrators of abuse or kidnapping

After release, a person with Stockholm syndrome may continue to have positive feelings towards their captor. However, they may also experience flashbacks, depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Although there is no clear definition of Stockholm syndrome, experts have linked it to other psychological phenomena associated with abuse, such as:

trauma bonding
battered person syndrome
learned helplessness

In a 2018 study, researchers attempted to establish an association between Stockholm syndrome and sex trafficking. The researchers reviewed personal accounts from female sex workers living in India. The narratives included in the study describe several conditions that have associations with Stockholm syndrome.

These include:

perceived threats to physical and psychological survival
perceived kindness from the trafficker or client
isolation from the outside world
perceived inability to escape

According to the study authors, some of the women expressed that they had, at one time, hoped to start a family with their trafficker or a client.

In a 2020 study, researchers found evidence suggesting that victims of domestic violence may also experience Stockholm syndrome.

While Stockholm syndrome took its name from the infamous 1973 bank robbery in Sweden, similar events have occurred before and since.

Mary McElroy (1933)

Four decades before the Normalmstorg bank robbery, four men kidnapped Mary McElroy. The kidnappers released her after receiving the $30,000 ransom they had demanded.

Although Mary McElroy agreed that her captors should receive punishment, she sympathized with them and even visited them in prison.

Patty Hearst (1974)

Shortly after the Stockholm incident, members of a left-wing militant group called the United Federated Forces of the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA) kidnapped 19-year-old Patty Hearst from her apartment in Berkeley, California.

Twelve days after the kidnapping, Hearst was involved in a bank robbery alongside members of the SLA. According to Hearst, the SLA had brainwashed her and forced her to join them.

The FBI arrested Hearst on September 18, 1975, 18 months after her kidnapping. Hearst received a 7-year prison sentence. President Jimmy Carter commuted her sentence in 1979, and she eventually received a pardon.

Natascha Kampush (1998)

In 1998, Wolfgang Priklopil kidnapped 10-year-old Natascha Kampush and isolated her in a cellar for more than 8 years. Priklopil beat her and threatened her life; he also bought her gifts and fed and bathed her. Kampush cried after hearing that Prikolpil had died by suicide.

Kampush tried to explain her relationship with Priklopil to interviewers, but they wrote her off, claiming she had Stockholm syndrome. In an interview with the Guardian newspaper, Kampush said, “I find it very natural that you would adapt yourself to identify with your kidnapper… Especially if you spend a great deal of time with that person.”

Stockholm syndrome is an unrecognized psychological disorder and does not have a standardized definition. As a result, there are no official treatment recommendations for it.

However, psychotherapy and medication can help relieve issues associated with trauma recovery, such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

People can work with licensed psychologists and psychiatrists. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications that may help alleviate mood disorder symptoms.

Psychologists and licensed mental health counselors can help people develop strategies and tools to use when trying to understand and work through their experiences.

Learn more about different types of therapy here.

Stockholm syndrome is a rare psychological reaction to captivity and, in some instances, abuse. Feelings of fear, terror, and anger towards a captor or abuser may seem more realistic to most people.

However, in extreme situations, such as kidnapping, a person may develop positive feelings towards the captor as a coping mechanism when they feel that their physical and mental well-being is at stake.

While experts do not officially recognize Stockholm syndrome as a mental health disorder, people who have been abused, trafficked, or kidnapped may experience it. People who have Stockholm syndrome may experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, or PTSD.

Proper treatment can help improve a person’s recovery and help them move forward.

Origins, causes, symptoms, and treatment

Keep reading to learn more about Stockholm syndrome and its causes, symptoms, and treatment, as well as some of the more famous specific case examples.

Share on PinterestImage credit: Li Wolfgang Schiffer / EyeEm / Getty Images.

A person can develop Stockholm syndrome when they experience significant threats to their physical or psychological well-being.

A kidnapped person may develop positive associations with their captors if they have face-to-face contact with them.

If the person has experienced physical abuse from their captor, they may feel gratitude when the abuser treats them humanely or does not physically harm them.

The vast majority of captives and survivors of abuse do not develop Stockholm syndrome.

Criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot originally coined the term Stockholm syndrome to explain the aftermath of a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1973.

Later, Olsson’s former cellmate Clark Olofsson joined in the robbery. The two remained inside the bank with the four hostages. The situation developed into a six-day stand-off with police.

After the hostages’ release, the authorities found that they had developed strong emotional bonds towards their captors.

Many researchers, psychologists, and criminologists do not fully understand Stockholm syndrome, and some continue to debate whether it exists at all.

However, experts believe that Stockholm syndrome can develop when:

the captor treats their victims humanely
the captives and captors have significant face-to-face interaction, which provides opportunities to bond with one another
the captives feel that law enforcement personnel are not doing their jobs well enough
a captive thinks that the police and other authorities do not have their best interests at heart

Stockholm syndrome can manifest in several ways, including when the victims:

perceive kindness or compassion from their captor or abuser
develop positive feelings towards the individual or group of individuals holding them captive or abusing them
adopt the same goals, world views, and ideologies as the captors or abusers
feel pity toward the captors or abusers
refuse to leave their captors, even when given the opportunity to escape
have negative perceptions towards police, family, friends, and anyone else who may try to help them escape their situation
refuse to assist police and government authorities in prosecuting perpetrators of abuse or kidnapping

Although there is no clear definition of Stockholm syndrome, experts have linked it to other psychological phenomena associated with abuse, such as:

trauma bonding
battered person syndrome
learned helplessness

These include:

perceived threats to physical and psychological survival
perceived kindness from the trafficker or client
isolation from the outside world
perceived inability to escape

According to the study authors, some of the women expressed that they had, at one time, hoped to start a family with their trafficker or a client.

In a 2020 study, researchers found evidence suggesting that victims of domestic violence may also experience Stockholm syndrome.

While Stockholm syndrome took its name from the infamous 1973 bank robbery in Sweden, similar events have occurred before and since.

Mary McElroy (1933)

Four decades before the Normalmstorg bank robbery, four men kidnapped Mary McElroy. The kidnappers released her after receiving the $30,000 ransom they had demanded.

Although Mary McElroy agreed that her captors should receive punishment, she sympathized with them and even visited them in prison.

Patty Hearst (1974)

Twelve days after the kidnapping, Hearst was involved in a bank robbery alongside members of the SLA. According to Hearst, the SLA had brainwashed her and forced her to join them.

Natascha Kampush (1998)

Stockholm syndrome is an unrecognized psychological disorder and does not have a standardized definition. As a result, there are no official treatment recommendations for it.

However, psychotherapy and medication can help relieve issues associated with trauma recovery, such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

People can work with licensed psychologists and psychiatrists. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications that may help alleviate mood disorder symptoms.

Psychologists and licensed mental health counselors can help people develop strategies and tools to use when trying to understand and work through their experiences.

Learn more about different types of therapy here.

Stockholm syndrome is a rare psychological reaction to captivity and, in some instances, abuse. Feelings of fear, terror, and anger towards a captor or abuser may seem more realistic to most people.

Proper treatment can help improve a person’s recovery and help them move forward.

Stockholm syndrome: what it is, examples, treatment

Usually people talk about Stockholm syndrome in relation to mass crimes. At the same time, it is much more common and no less destructive to the psyche in personal relationships. We tell how the term arose and what cases it refers to.

Known cases
Stockholm syndrome in psychology
Domestic stockholm syndrome
Features
Treatment

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The author of the article is Natalya Rivkina, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, head of the clinic for psychiatry and psychotherapy at the European Medical Center

On August 23, 1973, Jan-Erik Olsson single-handedly seized a branch of the Kreditbanken bank in the center of Stockholm and held four employees of the institution hostage for six days [one]. Olsson threatened to kill the hostages and demanded 3 million crowns (about $2 million at the exchange rate of that time) from the Prime Minister of Sweden, as well as weapons and a high-speed car to leave the country without hindrance. On August 28, the Swedish police decided to storm and fired tear gas into the cash vault where the hostages were, Olsson and his partner Olofsson, who arrived from prison at the request of the terrorist. The robbers surrendered after half an hour, and all the hostages were safely released.

To the surprise of the public, the victims said they were not angry at the people who held them hostage for almost a week, refused to testify in court, and even threw themselves at their lawyers. They claimed that the robbers did nothing wrong to them.

The psychiatrist Niels Beyeruth, who advised the police during the negotiations with the bank hijackers, coined the term Norrmalmstorgssyndromet — Norrmalmstorg Syndrome — after the Norrmalmstorg Square where the bank was located, to explain the paradoxical behavior of the hostages who felt sympathy for their tormentors. Later, the difficult-to-pronounce term was transformed into Stockholm syndrome.

Still from Once Upon a Time in Stockholm

Famous Cases

Patricia Hearst

tycoon William Randolph Hearst. She was 19 years old. The purpose of the kidnapping is to trade Patricia for imprisoned SLA supporters. The girl spent two months in captivity, where she was raped, beaten and starved.

After long negotiations, the terms of Patricia's release were agreed with the family. However, a day before the planned release, the SLA released an audio recording in which Patricia Hearst proclaimed her joining the group and refused to return to the family. She participated in raids and robberies.

After Hurst's arrest, a forensic psychiatric examination diagnosed the girl with a severe post-traumatic mental disorder caused by fear for her life, helplessness and horror.

Jaycee Lee Dugard

In 1991, 11-year-old Jaycee Lee Dugard was abducted from a bus stop where she was waiting for a school bus [3]. Former kidnapping and rape convict Philip Garrido and his wife Nancy hid Jaycee in their backyard for 18 years. From Garrido, Jessie Lee gave birth to two daughters, the first of which was at the age of 14.

Already after Garrido's arrest and Jaycee Lee's release, many witnesses recalled that they had repeatedly seen the girl - she freely opened the door of the house to the calls of couriers, helped Garrido in the printing house that belonged to him, communicated directly with customers, but never showed signs of suspicious behavior and did not ask for help.

Even during the arrest of her kidnapper, she did not tell the police her real story for a long time, tried to shield Garrido and came up with various versions of their relationship.

Jaycee Lee took five cats, two dogs, three parrots, a pigeon and a mouse from the house where she spent 18 years in captivity. Philip Garrida received 431 years in prison, his wife - 36 years.

Hostage-taking in Lima

On December 17, 1996, in the capital of Peru, more than 500 people were captured in the residence of the Japanese ambassador in Lima [4]. Peruvian extremists, the Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement (MRTA), under the guise of banquet waiters, captured all the guests of the Japanese ambassador during the celebration of the birthday of Emperor Akihito and demanded the release of 500 of their associates from prison. The extremists released some of the prisoners during the negotiations, but the remaining hostages were held captive for almost four months.

Many of the released spoke of the MRTA members with sympathy and said they were right. A major Canadian businessman, Kieran Matkelf, after his release, called the leader of the terrorists, Nestor Kartolini, a polite, educated and dedicated person.

Stockholm Syndrome in Psychology

Today, Stockholm syndrome in psychology is called the sympathy that arises between the victim and the aggressor. This sympathy is the result of a traumatic experience and an unconscious defensive reaction of the psyche. Under the influence of strong experiences, the victims begin to sympathize with the abusers and justify them.

What is Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm Syndrome is not a syndrome per se, nor is it a disease or mental disorder in the usual sense of the word. This is a variant of psychological defense, or coping (from the English "cope" - to cope) strategy for coping with excessive stress that develops in a traumatic situation [5]. Stockholm syndrome is not included in any classification of mental disorders.

One girl, my patient, was held hostage by people who tried to ransom her. And for many years she felt guilt and pain for the fact that these people subsequently ended up in prison. During psychotherapy, she often talked about how, in principle, they did nothing wrong to her. For example, she expected sexual abuse, but there was none. She regarded this as a great nobility on the part of the invaders and even experienced bouts of irritation towards her family, who saved her from captivity.

A shot from the film Once Upon a Time in Stockholm

Domestic Stockholm Syndrome

However, Stockholm Syndrome occurs not only in extreme situations as a result of kidnapping, terrorist attacks, military operations, but also in everyday life. Patients often come to our clinic with signs of household Stockholm syndrome.

This may be a woman who has been in a relationship with an abuser for a long time and now feels guilty for having found the strength to divorce him and destroy her family.

Or a teenager who has been the victim of prolonged sexual harassment by a close family member and is trying to justify his actions. After all, he was often kind to him and the rest of the family respected and loved him.

Or an employee of a corporation who has become a hostage of a toxic relationship with a boss who constantly insults, humiliates and devalues his colleagues, but when he does not shout, he seems to be quite a pleasant and professional person who does not deserve blame, because he is trying for the common cause.

There is even such a thing as corporate Stockholm syndrome. It is becoming more and more common and refers to people who experience traumatic experiences, abuse, aggression, harassment, unfair and disrespectful treatment in the workplace. The individual becomes a victim for his boss or colleagues and feels sympathy for the offenders, despite the improper treatment of himself.

Certain conditions are necessary for the development of Stockholm syndrome:

psychologically traumatic situation, abuse/aggression;
conditions for the development of close relationships - regular contact, time spent together;
a significant difference in the strength and capabilities of the parties;
the presence of circumstances preventing the exit from these relations.

The abuser becomes both a source of suffering and consolation. A wave of attacks, humiliation and criticism is followed by some kind of encouragement, relaxation, or simply a neutral attitude, which, in contrast to the long-term negative, is perceived as manna from heaven.

A scene from Sharp Objects TV series

Signs of Stockholm Syndrome

The victim has positive feelings towards the person who causes him suffering [6], and at the same time rejection and negative feelings towards the person who is trying to help her to get out of the relationship with the abuser. It could be the police and lawyers who want to help bring the abuser to justice for the abuse, or a loved one who calls attention to the toxicity of a partner and suggests considering divorce.

The victim begins to see humanity in his tormentor, look for worthy features, identify with him and believe that they have similar goals and values.

The mechanism of the emergence of Stockholm syndrome is closely related to the instinct of self-preservation and is based on the hope that the aggressor will show indulgence if the victim demonstrates obedience. The danger of Stockholm Syndrome is that the person who finds himself in the role of a victim acts against his own interests without realizing it, which makes it very difficult for outside help.

Treatment of Stockholm Syndrome

Traditional methods of working with victims of violence are used today to treat Stockholm syndrome. For this, cognitive psychotherapy, various adapted options for working with grief, working with guilt, normalizing experiences can be well suited.

Most people who have experienced violence believe that it happened through their fault, that they are to blame for what happened, that they could somehow provoke the abuser and may even be the initiators of violence. The primary task of the psychotherapist is to help the patient realize his innocence in what happened and recognize the fact that the aggressor can and should be held responsible for what he did.

Tags: psychology

What is Stockholm syndrome and how to help get rid of it

May 4, 2021LikbezLife

Everyone can become a victim.

You can listen to this article. If it's more convenient for you, turn on the podcast.

When Wolfgang died, Natasha was crying. She later lit a candle in his memory. It would have looked touching if not for the background of this event.

Natasha Kampush is a girl who was kidnapped by a maniac at the age of 10 and kept in the basement for eight years, using her as a sex slave. Wolfgang Priklopil is the same criminal from whose hands Natasha miraculously escaped.

The story of Kampusz and Priklopil is just one example of how the psychological phenomenon called Stockholm syndrome manifests itself. Sometimes such stories look scandalous and even frightening. But the syndrome is much more common than it seems.

It is quite possible that you have it too. You just don't know about it yet.

What is Stockholm syndrome? Therefore, we recall only in general terms.

In 1973, armed terrorists seized a large bank in Stockholm. Four bank employees were taken hostage. The criminals hung explosive devices around the victims and placed them in a small room for six days. The hostages had no opportunity to get up and stretch themselves. It's okay to go to the toilet. They spent the first days under the constant threat of being shot for the slightest disobedience.

But when the police managed to free them, something strange happened. The victims did not hold a grudge against their tormentors. On the contrary, they sympathized with them. “Don’t touch them, they didn’t do anything bad to us!” one of the workers shouted, covering the terrorists from the police. A little later, another admitted that she considered one of the aggressors "very kind" for allowing her to move when she was lying on the floor of the bank. A third stated that he felt gratitude towards the kidnappers: “When he (Olsson, a terrorist. – Lifehacker) treated us well, we considered him almost a god.”

Forensic psychiatrist Niels Bejerot, who analyzed this story, called the victims' paradoxical attachment to their tormentors the Stockholm Syndrome.

At the same time, in the 1970s, psychiatrists encountered this phenomenon more than once. What is the famous kidnapping of Patty Hearst, heiress of the famous media mogul, just a year after Stockholm. The girl was kept in a cramped closet for many days, raped and beaten. It all ended with Patty falling in love with one of the kidnappers and sincerely joined their group.

What makes people become attached to rapists

In fact, Stockholm syndrome is even natural. The mechanism of its occurrence is closely connected with the instinct of self-preservation - one of the most powerful human instincts.

First, sympathy for the aggressor reduces the risk of being killed. If you smile, demonstrate obedience and understanding, then perhaps the rapist will take pity and give you life. In human history, replete with wars and conquests, this has happened millions of times. We are all descendants of people who survived only because they once showed sympathy for the aggressors. Stockholm Syndrome is hardwired into our genes.

Secondly, the manifestation of this syndrome increases group survival, since it serves as a unifying factor between the victim and the aggressor. Since you are on the same team, even against your will, it is more beneficial for everyone not to beat each other. Indirect bonus: if someone rushes to the rescue, and you are fighting with the aggressor, then in the heat of battle, the liberator can kill you too. Therefore, it is more profitable for a hostage to maintain peaceful, subordinate relations with the rapist: from the outside, it is clearer who is who.

Anyone can become a victim of Stockholm syndrome. It is enough to create the conditions for this.

In most cases, Stockholm syndrome is the result of severe psychological trauma. A shock of such a level that convinces a person: his life hangs in the balance and he has no one to rely on. Except perhaps the rapist - the only active subject who turned out to be nearby, with whom, albeit a tiny, but still chance of survival is connected.

What Stockholm syndrome looks like in real life

To become a victim of the syndrome, it is not necessary to fall into the situation of kidnappers and hostages.

Only three conditions are sufficient:

psychological trauma associated with a threat to life;
close relationships in which there is a serious difference in the strength and capabilities of the parties;
difficulties in leaving this relationship.

Example 1: Relationship between an abusive parent and child

A mother or father may abuse a child, neglect him or physically punish him severely. But sometimes, in fits of good mood, they will give you candy. Or smile at him. This is enough for the child to remember only bright moments, and the parent becomes “almost a god” for him, like the terrorist Olsson in the eyes of the bank employees he captured.

Subsequently, these children will protect adults from, for example, the police who came on a call. Or lie to others, assuring that bruises are not from beatings, but from a simple fall.

Example 2: couple violence

Domestic violence, when someone, more often a woman, is dependent on her abusive partner is a classic of domestic Stockholm syndrome. Everything develops in the same way. First, the victim finds herself in a traumatic situation where she has nowhere to look for help, and the rapist seems to hold her life in his hands. Then the aggressor presents the victim with “candy”: he demonstrates sincere repentance, gives gifts, talks about love.

Later, the beatings continue, but the victim is already on the hook: she remembers rare bright moments and even begins to sympathize with the aggressor. "He's good, I just bring him." Such painful relationships, full of physical and psychological abuse, can drag on for many years.

Example 3: a cruel boss or guru in religious sects

“He is tough but fair” — you must have heard similar formulations. Relations with a superior petty tyrant, who occasionally indulges in praise, can also be a peculiar form of this psychological phenomenon. In such cases, one speaks of the corporate Stockholm syndrome.

How to recognize Stockholm Syndrome

There are no generally accepted diagnostic criteria for identifying Stockholm Syndrome. This is largely due to the fact that this phenomenon is not an officially recognized disease or mental disorder. You will not find it in any authoritative psychiatric manual. The syndrome is seen rather as an unconscious survival strategy.

However, there are still some general signs by which a victim of Stockholm syndrome can be recognized. Here they are.

Understanding that a person shows towards a rapist. "It's not him, it's the circumstances that forced him to do this."
Position “I am to blame”. The victim may reason like this: if I behave "right", the attitude towards me will change.
Belief in the kindness of the aggressor. "He's good, just an explosive character."
Feeling of pity for the tormentor. "He's like that because his father beat him as a child." “He is like this because society does not recognize his talent!”
Self-abasement, unconditional recognition of the power of the aggressor. "I'm worth nothing without him. " "Without him, I'm lost."
Reluctance to part with the rapist. After all, "He is kind to me", "He appreciates me."
Unwillingness to cooperate with society or the police in bringing the tormentor to justice. “We shouldn’t interfere with outsiders in our relations.” “The police will just send him to jail without understanding, and he was good to me, I don’t want to be ungrateful.”

How to help someone who has Stockholm Syndrome

Here are a few rules to help get the victim out of a painful relationship.

1. Offer psychotherapy

Ideally, if you can persuade the victim to go to a psychotherapist. A specialist will help to sort out what is happening on the shelves. Describe what is happening to the person. It will make him think about the abnormality of the situation. This is the most effective way to get rid of.

If there is no opportunity for visits to a professional, try to encourage the victim to think. In conversations, as if by chance, without pressure, indicate important points. "You can't yell at people: it's disrespectful." "No one has the right to raise a hand against another person." Suggest reading an article about Stockholm Syndrome. Enlightenment is an important step towards getting rid of painful addiction.

2. Do not give advice or pressure

A victim of violence should have the right to make their own decisions. If you talk to a person from the position of “I know better what to do”, you only feed his helplessness once again.

3. Listen, Don't Judge

Being able to tell someone about your experiences sincerely and honestly, without fear of being told, "You're a fool yourself," is critical. It helps a person get rid of unnecessary emotions and turn on rational thinking.

4. Use the method of Socrates

The ancient Greek philosopher believed that a person himself can realize what is happening to him if you ask him leading questions. Genuinely ask the victim how she sees the situation. What does he feel about it.

Learn more