Reverse psychology on men

9 Tips On How To Effectively Use Reverse Psychology On A Man

Have you ever wondered whether it’s possible to use reverse psychology on a man? Does it really work or is it a waste of time?

Maybe you laid your eyes on that one special guy. You tried every possible solution that could make him fall for you bot nothing seemed to work.

Perhaps you want him to commit to you but you’re too scared to ask him. Or you even want to make your ex-boyfriend get back with you without asking him directly because it makes you look desperate.

In the meantime, you’ve come across the art of reverse psychology and you want to know whether it really works.

Can you use this technique to make a certain man fall for you, without telling him what you actually want from him?

Can you use reverse psychology on a man?

Let’s be honest. Reverse psychology is seen as a form of manipulation. Why? Because it’s a way of playing mind games with a specific person you want to use it on. You say the opposite of what you expect them to do and they’ll do what you actually wanted from them.

When you want to make someone do something or behave the way you want, instead of making direct requests which you know won’t turn out the way you want, you simply use reverse psychology to get things your way.

It’s based on the reactance theory which generally means that as human beings, we love to believe that we aren’t controlled by other people’s opinions.

We love to believe that we have complete freedom over our actions.

We hate seeing that our freedom of choice is being taken away from us so we make sure to do the opposite of what we’re told to do.

Think about it. 

There are usually two types of people: compliant and resistant.

Compliant people do as they’re told when they’re given an order.

They simply obey the rules, which is why reverse psychology doesn’t work on them.

But on the flip side, resistant people feel the need to rebel and behave by their own will, opposite to what they are told to do.  

If you’re a resistant type of person and you see a sign that says ‘Keep off the grass‘ the chances are you’ll feel the need to walk on it.

Once you’re told to do something, your personality type makes you do the exact opposite, which gives you a feeling of being in control.

So, let’s say that it’s a Friday night and you want a guy to take you on a date. You know that he’s stubborn and doesn’t want to be told what to do.

Every time you ask him to do something for you, he usually does the exact opposite.

So, you’ve tried everything – from giving him subtle hints that you want him to do something for you, to being quiet and letting him come up with ideas of his own.

But nothing ever worked and reverse psychology became your last resort.

Now, instead of asking him to have a date night, you simply tell him, “Let’s not go out tonight. Having a date night would mean that I have to get ready and where could we even go?”

By doing this, you’re giving him two options, while accentuating the one that you actually want him to choose.

Also, you’re giving him the problem of where he could take you, which makes him feel that he has a task to come up with a solution.

And that’s how you can make reverse psychology work on a man.

How to use reverse psychology on a man and get him to do whatever you want

Now that you know how it works and that you can use it on a man, let me show you various tips that may be helpful when you’re trying to get things to go your way.

1. Figure out whether your man is a suitable personality type for the purposes of reverse psychology

You don’t want it to backfire on you so before taking the first step, make sure to know whether he’s the type of person who’s suitable for this method.

I already mentioned that there are two types of people: complaint and resistant.

If your man belongs to the latter category then you can use reverse psychology.

Resistant and stubborn people are more likely to fall under the influence of your words.

If they love to have things their way, then you stand high chances of succeeding.

That’s why you should first try to understand how your man acts in times of making decisions. Does he listen to your advice or does he go his own way?

Is it easy for him to agree with other people? Or maybe he tends to resist other possible options only because he wants to have things his way?

Once you figure this out, you’ll be able to know whether there’s a point in even trying to use reverse psychology on your man.

If you know that he doesn’t have a problem with doing things differently from what he wants, then there’s no point in trying this technique.

You could probably ask him politely and he would make your wish come true.

But if you realize that he’s a tough nut to crack and that he usually ignores other people just so he can make decisions on his own, then you can try using reverse psychology on your man.

If he’s really a resistant type, the chances are that you’ll be able to manipulate him into doing what you want much more easily.


Present him with an option

Now that you have serious intentions of trying to use reverse psychology on a guy, you first need to start by giving him an option – something you know he’ll usually resist.

You know that he already has an idea, but you need to give him something else to trigger his resistance.

Let’s say that you’re trying to make him watch a movie that everyone’s been raving about.

You want the two of you to watch it together but you also know that the genre is far from his favorite.

Instead of giving up on your idea from the very beginning, you’re going to be sneaky about it.

So, what is it that you can do right now to convince your man to do what you want from him?

Reverse psychology!

First of all, find out what he wants to see. Be aware of your opponent.

Now, mention the name of the movie you want to watch and say something like this, “Jane told me about it. She says that it has great reviews and that I have to watch it.

Now, tell him a few good things about the movie or even let him see the trailer. But remember not to be pushy about it.

Don’t break in the middle of the process and beg him to watch it because you really like it and want to see it.

Instead, stay calm and just subtly tell him about all of the good sides of the film you want to see. When you’re done, retreat into a neutral zone.

You’ve planted the seed. All you can do now is wait.

3. With the help of subtle hints, make the other option more alluring

When you’re using reverse psychology on a man, the next step is to make him feel that your option is a better choice. 

You can do that through subtle hints, so he doesn’t feel like you’re being too pushy.

You can mention some of the good parts of the movie to him, show him the best scenes, or tell him the experience your friend had while watching it.

Anything that can make him feel like he actually wants to see it because it sounds interesting.

Again, try to remember that you aren’t supposed to be too intense when it comes to this part.

Don’t ever beg him to do what you want because it only gives him a stronger reason to do the exact opposite.

So, be creative and really make him interested in your choice. Let him see that you’re actually giving him a good option.

Don’t worry if you see that he still isn’t giving in. His pride won’t let him do that at that time.

If he’s a resistant type of person who loves to have things his own way, this won’t be the right time to give up on his option.

Instead, it will only make him feel as if he lost control and let you make a choice. And people like this hate that feeling.

But if you stay patient, you’ll see what will happen later on.

4. Argue against your option

You gave him an option, made it sound interesting, and now it’s time to drop it completely. Sounds crazy I know but bear with me.

Now that you have him genuinely interested in the option, you want to give up on it yourself if you want to use reverse psychology on a man.

Now you might say something like this, “I know that everyone’s raving about this movie but I don’t think it sounds good at all. I mean, it looks lame, don’t you agree?”

Boom! The bomb has dropped.

By doing this, you’re letting your man know that you now don’t even want to watch it in the first place.

And if there’s nothing that makes you want to see the film, then there’s also nothing that holds him back from choosing it.

If he picks it, it won’t feel like he did so because he was listening to your opinion. How could it be like that when you don’t even want to see it, right?

You see what you did there.

You told him about your option, made it seem interesting, but you knew that he couldn’t pick it because you wanted him to. So, you simply gave up on it.

Now, he has the freedom of choice to pick whatever he wants.

And because you made your option sound interesting, the chances are that he’ll go with that one.

Who could know that things would end up like this?


Let him make the final decision

Now, it’s finally time to make the final decision. And when you’re trying to use reverse psychology on a man, he needs to be the one who has the final say. 

So, tell him that you’re okay if he makes the choice because you have no preference. Whatever he chooses will be a good option.

This gives your man freedom of choice and because you already made him interested in the topic, he’ll probably choose your option.

It’s not like you asked him to choose it. Instead, he made sure to do it on his own, without feeling like he made your wish come true.

6. Try not to be too available

If you’re trying to use reverse psychology on your man because you want him to dedicate more time to you, then you should opt for this technique to get what you want.

You know how you’re always there for him. Even if you’re busy, you have no problem putting everything aside and focusing on him.

But when you expect him to do the same for you, he’s nowhere around.

Even when you need him the most, if you ask him to be there for you, he always looks for an excuse.

Now, you want him to act differently but you’ve realized that asking him to pay more attention to you doesn’t work.

It actually makes him feel like he’s being controlled.

That’s why you should try this method of reverse psychology on your man.

Instead of postponing everything because of him, try not to do anything like that anymore.

If you’ve already made plans, stick to them and let him be the one who’s waiting for you.

Let him see that you have your own life and that you won’t always be able to run into his arms when he calls you.

Instead of choosing him every time, choose yourself for a change. Be your own priority.

When you do that, you’re actually making him want you more than before.

You’re showing him that you’re a strong woman who can function on her own. You don’t need a guy to lead a happy life.

That’s how reverse psychology works on men; when you don’t let them get everything they want, they actually start fighting harder for it. And that’s exactly what you’re looking for.

From now on, he’ll be the one who calls and texts you all the time. He’ll start initiating your date nights and he’ll dedicate more of his time to you.

If you had only known that it was this simple, you would have been able to do it a long time ago. It would have saved you from all those sleepless nights.

I guess that you learn something new every day…

7. Stay calm while using reverse psychology on a man

The first time you try to use reverse psychology on a man, you’ll probably feel nervous. 

What if he realizes what you’re doing? What if he gets upset and accuses you of manipulating him?

They are possible scenarios but as long as you know what you’re doing, everything will be fine.

However, know that if you lose control over your thoughts, you might slip up and fall into a trap.

And if your man realizes that you were trying to manipulate him, you can say bye-bye to your relationship.

8. Avoid overdoing it

Using reverse psychology on a man can be a great way of getting things that you want.

But it doesn’t always work and you certainly shouldn’t be using it on a daily basis.

If you’re up for Chinese food tonight and your man wants Indian, you could get your own way with the help of reverse psychology.

But if you keep using it all the time, and when you can’t go a day without trying to manipulate him to get things the way you want, then you’re in trouble.

Overdoing it can be seriously dangerous for a relationship and can make both partners suffer.

Let’s be honest – how would you feel if you realized that your partner had been playing mind games with you just to get things his way? It doesn’t sound nice, right?

So, make sure to know what you’re doing and try to control yourself. 

It’s nice to call the shots, but it certainly doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship when you’re always manipulating your partner to get what you want.

9. Avoid using reverse psychology in serious situations

When it comes to dealing with serious situations, you should never use reverse psychology to get things your way.

I know that it would feel amazing to have everything the way you want all the time, but that’s just not the way life works.

Let’s say that you and your partner are talking about taking the next step in your relationship.

Maybe he needs more time while you already feel ready and want to get things going right now.

If you use reverse psychology on him then, it means that you’re going to push him into something he isn’t ready for.

And sooner or later, that will backfire on you.

If he finds out that you lured him in, he’s probably going to get upset.

He might even break up with you because he feels that you played with him to get things the way you want.

So, no matter how appealing it looks, don’t ever choose to play with serious things.

In those cases, forget about reverse psychology and pretend like it doesn’t exist.

You know what they say – ‘It’s better to be safe than sorry‘.

And trust me, if you use reverse psychology while dealing with more serious things, you could end up being sorry.

Negative effects of reverse psychology!

Don’t ever forget that reverse psychology is a form of manipulation.

No matter why you’re using it, you’re still manipulating your man’s feelings in order to get what you want.

That’s why I want you to be familiar with the negative effects of this technique.

Trust me, there are many things that can be ruined just because you decide to use reverse psychology on your man.

It can ruin your relationship and damage trust forever.

If your partner finds out that you’ve been playing games with him, he’ll probably get really upset. 

He trusted you and then you showed him that he was just a toy that you played with. He’s a pawn that you’ve been using to get things your own way.

It feels disheartening to find this out.

That’s how using reverse psychology on a man can actually make him lose trust in you and ruin your relationship forever.

Your man may feel insulted or humiliated.

If he realizes that you’ve been manipulating his choices, your guy can feel offended.

He might feel like you’re treating him like a child, and no one wants to feel that way.

He may also think that you humiliated him by making him do what you wanted, without actually asking him to.

If only you had let him know what you wanted from him, the situation wouldn’t have escalated this far.

If reverse psychology backfires on you, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth forever.

When you feel the consequences of your deeds once, you’ll feel the bad taste in your mouth for the rest of your life. 

Sometimes, our mistakes cost us more than we expect them to, and this one might be one of them.

You might be sorry about the things you did because you know how it feels when your actions hit you like a boomerang.

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Reverse psychology in relations between a man and a woman: feedback

In the practice of manipulating people, a technique is often used - reverse psychology. This is a special technique used in business, sales and parenting. To understand how effective the "reverse" psychological impact is, you need to know how to apply it to different groups of people and directions.

Reverse psychology: how does it work?

"Reverse Psychology" developed by Michael Apter. The man has been studying various areas of motivation for a long time. The basis of reverse psychology is the concept that speaks of the ability of people to switch from one state to another after simple verbal phrases. To succeed in changing people's opinions, you need to choose the right moment, correctly compose a phrase.

Reverse psychology means that the manipulating individual says one thing, but expects to get the opposite reaction. A similar reverse effect is noticeable in children's behavior. When a parent tells a child not to do something, their reaction may be reversed. He wants to do the forbidden.

With the correct performance of actions, people on whom psychological pressure is directed think that the choice was made by them. The individual is deluded. The first times the practice of reverse manipulation requires the selection of proud people who have heightened self-esteem. The reverse technique cannot be considered the most effective among other types of persuasion.

To protect yourself from the influence of manipulating people, you need to control emotions, think through actions in advance, choose the best options for resolving conflict situations. It is important to take into account the consequences, to observe the interlocutor's reaction to statements and questions.

Who does reverse psychology work for?

To use reverse psychology effectively, you need to know who is more susceptible to psychological pressure. Types of people susceptible to the manipulation technique:

  1. Rebels, hooligans. This type of people can be manipulated. Lessons of training, instructions, advice are useless. The bully performs the opposite action to spite others. Behavior is manifested in the actions of teenage children, commanded by their parents. The child basically does against the will of the adult. But if a friend asks, the reaction will be positive.
  2. People who do things for the sake of fame, posturing. The individual will try to do everything contrary to the imposed, generally accepted principles. So he tries to stand out from the crowd. People of this type strive to achieve significant results in various areas of life and amuse their pride.
  3. People doing principled deeds. The type of individuals who go against the prevailing principles, forgetting about the consequences.

Reverse psychology works great when applied to people who have high levels of self-esteem. Those who have weaknesses in their own dignity are subject to the reverse effect of manipulation.

You need to understand that not everyone will do the opposite actions by what they are advised, they say. Reverse psychology is useless for those who do not have their own point of view, they are used to following the advice of others. The practice of opposite actions will not work on those who take someone else's point of view, and then expose it as their own.

Reverse psychology and children

Often parents begin to use reverse technology, if children refuse to do something, it is difficult to convince them with ordinary persuasion. The child may do the opposite to annoy adults. They are dissatisfied with decrees in their direction, complain when they are commanded.

To manipulate a child in such situations requires the use of reverse psychology. It will help change the child's mind. If parents choose the right moment, phrase, children will get confused after what happened. They did the actions at the will of the adult, but they think only about their decision.

It is important to understand some of the features of manipulating children:

  1. Do not use the reverse technique too often. The child will get used to it, will effectively resist commands. It is required to choose the right moments, situations. When it is possible to resolve the situation with persuasion or affection, it is better not to resort to manipulation. If this is not possible, the opposite effect can be applied.
  2. Psychologists categorically forbid the use of reverse manipulation techniques that cling to the child's personality. If you tell a child about the desire to hide certain things from him, referring to the inability to use them.

With teenagers, experts suggest choosing a different tactic. He was offered to attend a dubious event, you can tell a teenager that you are categorically against this idea because you are worried. The child will decide to go or not on their own.

It is worth considering the side effects of the use of reverse psychology. Many psychologists prohibit the use of this technique in raising children. This is due to the fact that if you begin to praise the child after he does something against the will of the parent, he will teach him not to obey adults. As a child grows up, he will understand that his parents do not tell the truth.

Reverse psychology between a man and a woman

Most married couples practice reverse psychology. The technique is used by a man or a woman when they have a desire to get what they want. A woman wants to spend the weekend with her fiancé, but he is determined to spend it with friends. She is sure of the futility of a direct form, she is going to act drastically. She tells him that she goes to the club with her friends. In most cases, the groom will stay at home, refusing to let her go alone.

You can use the reverse manipulation technique if you want to marry your loved one. You can’t admit your plans, try to show the guy better to show that the girl is good alone. Then the man will seek to take the girl, in order to avoid the appearance of competitors. Choosing tactics, you need to know your loved one (beloved) well. With a lack of information, a mistake made can destroy the relationship.

Reverse psychology in sales

The technique of reverse manipulation is considered one of the main tools of marketers. You need to understand that the buyer entering the store is neutral or negative towards the seller. He will counteract any shortcomings in every possible way. There are a few basic techniques you can use to effectively use reverse psychology in sales:

  1. When working with male buyers, female sellers often use the following method. If a man says - the goods are too expensive, the woman answers - since he cannot afford an expensive purchase, she will look for the goods cheaper. This technique works even better when the room is filled with women.
  2. Use of the moment - people love the forbidden. The seller "accidentally" shows the buyer a product that is not on sale and says that it is not available to buyers for a certain period of time for some reason. To increase the chances of a successful transaction, you need to think over a plan of action so that the buyer believes.
  3. Conduct a vote. The buyer must independently rate the product. It is better to choose a system from 1 to 10. Most will rate 5-7. The average score indicates the neutrality of the buyer you want to attract. Tell the buyer that you expected a lower rating, the buyer will start listing the points for which he gave an average rating.

There are other ways to use reverse psychology. Experienced sellers know how to use them and successfully sell their products to different types of buyers.

Reverse psychology in relationships and business

To make peace with your soulmate, you can use reverse manipulation. Often there are situations when the second half wants to take a break, since many problems have appeared, it is required to unload from an outsider, to restore feelings.

The other half of the couple should gladly agree. It must be said about the intention to gladly leave the beloved (beloved) to rest. The reaction will surprise the initiator, but save the relationship.

It is possible to influence the time of conception of children. The moment has come, but the wife refuses to do it, offers to wait. To change her decision, you need to agree with the proposal, say that you agree to wait for a period of 2-3 years. Statistics says - in 70-80% of cases, the opinion changes.

In business, reverse psychology is used in sales and communication with staff. If an employee is lazy to work, it is enough to catch his pride and pride by saying that he will not be able to do something from the work processes. The main thing is to choose the right moment, to show emotions correctly, the employee will start hard work.

You can manipulate the staff, reduce the demands on the authorities, expand the list of duties, improve the situation between team members. Any conflict situation is reduced to nothing if the manager correctly used the reverse manipulation technique.

Goods sell more successfully when using various reverse manipulation techniques. Sellers point out the lack of money from the buyer in front of other people, talk about the uselessness of the goods and try in every possible way to divert attention.

Reverse psychology is an interesting technique based on doing the opposite of what you expect. Sellers encourage people to buy various goods, managers change the decision of employees in disputable situations, parents control children, lovers restore family ties. They often use the reverse manipulation of the media when compiling promotions. It is important to understand the moments when you can not use this technique, less often practice with family strife.

The concept of reverse psychology is quite difficult to understand, but in the video with examples it is explained as simply and accessible as possible. After watching this video, everyone will be able to use the techniques of this type of psychology to their advantage and change their lives for the better.

Reverse (reverse) psychology - what is it, examples

Do you know what reverse psychology is? Even if you do not know, from time to time you use it in your life. How is this possible, you ask? Think of times when you manipulated someone's mind in an attempt to get the person to take your side. Or, for example, in a store they bought something completely different from what they planned, succumbing to the tricks of advertising. Such manipulations are psychological methods of influencing a person. Can you protect yourself from them?


  • What is a reverse psychology
  • Examples of the use of reverse psychology
  • History of development
  • who lends itself to reverse psychology
  • when reversible psychology
    • with children
    • between a man and a woman
    • Sales
    • in a relationship in business
  • Countermeasures
  • Reverse psychology books
  • Conclusion

What is reverse psychology

Reverse psychology is reverse psychology or, as they say in scientific circles, a paradoxical intervention. This is a series of psychological techniques that are completely contrary to the goals of their use.

According to the techniques of reverse psychology, it is necessary to approve, reinforce those actions of a person that he wants to get rid of. And this reinforcement is considered the most effective way to change behavior. In the process, a paradox appears. The client is encouraged to behave in the same way as before, but at the same time to become better. Interesting, isn't it?

Paradoxical intervention is one aspect of reverse psychology. During the session, the specialist suggests a way to solve the patient's problem, which, in theory, does not fit this situation at all. For example, for a person who is terribly afraid of disgrace, a psychologist advises to fail in some way. Or for people who put everything off until later, procrastinate, he recommends allocating 1 hour a day to procrastinate.

Examples of the use of reverse psychology

Interestingly, even ordinary people use the methods of reverse psychology. Most often this happens at the subconscious level. Remember how many times you forbade your child to do something? And he, showing all his stubbornness and independence, did the opposite? Wise move mom and dad. After all, in the end, children still do what their parents needed.

Another example comes from romantic relationships. Imagine a woman who wants a man to marry her. It does not act directly, but proceeds from the opposite. She tells her partner that she doesn't want to get married. Yes, and she doesn’t really need relationships, because they oblige and burden something. And at this very moment, the instinct of the owner wakes up in a man. Now he will do everything to make his woman change her mind. Wouldn't a real man allow her to enjoy such freedom?

Reverse psychology is found in movies and books. Suppose a person is tired of life, wants to commit suicide. If others begin to dissuade him, he only becomes more confident in the correctness of his decision. In some situations, you need to act differently. Depending on the psychotype of a person, you can give him evidence that his life is really insignificant, he will not be able to achieve anything, change anything. This is where his stubbornness can kick in. A potential suicide will suddenly begin to convince the interlocutor that he is not the same as they say about him. That he will solve all problems. As one would expect, in this case, suicide is shelved.

However, it is important to understand here that not all people will succumb to such tricks. Before using reverse psychology on a potential suicidal person, it is worth making sure that it works on him.

Trade workers know firsthand what reverse psychology is. Who better than them to be able to manipulate the minds of buyers?
Reverse psychology helps to sell the right product. Several methods are used here:

  1. Any person will want to buy a product that is not currently available.
  2. Ask the customer to rate the product. He immediately finds many useful properties in it. It turns out that he makes advertising for himself.

Also, sellers often express doubts that a person has enough money to make a purchase. Trying to prove otherwise, the buyer is 100% likely to purchase the most expensive product.

History of development

The theory of reversibility in psychology appeared in the 70s of the last century. Its creators are psychologists M. Apter and K. Smith. They published their research and conclusions in two works:

  • “Subjective experience of motivation”;
  • “Beyond personality traits. Reverse theory of motivation.

The main purpose of this psychology was the treatment of children suffering from schizophrenia. According to Apter, the theory he created helps to understand the duality of man. He cannot desire to perform two conflicting actions at the same time. When you are in the desert and thirsty, would you be willing to give a bottle of water to a stranger who asked for help?

To force a person to do what is necessary, to get the right reaction from him, you should follow 2 tips:

  1. First: you should create conditions in which it will be most convenient to manipulate.
  2. Second: one must draw up a plan of action that will induce a person to move into a state suitable for manipulation and make a predetermined decision.

Who lends itself to the methods of reverse psychology

According to psychotherapist Janet Raymond, the effectiveness of reverse psychology is influenced by the nature and type of personality of a person. But at the same time, relationships are not the last place. It is easier to work with those people who are ready to defend independence, freedom, equality. They initially want to do what is forbidden.
Who is most affected? There are 3 groups of people:

  1. children, teenagers;
  2. rebels by nature;
  3. those who suffer from low self-esteem.

Paradoxical intervention will not work on those people whose main character traits are calmness, straightforwardness, conservatism. They are accustomed to act as the authoritative person for them says. And therefore, they will easily do what the manipulator says. But not vice versa.

When reverse psychology is effective

As mentioned above, the methods of reverse psychology are applicable in many areas. Let's consider some of them.

With children

In this case, acting backwards, of course, is not the best way to bring up. But often you can't do without it. This is especially true for adolescence. Children show stubbornness, rebel, intentionally do what their parents forbid. Neither threats, nor caresses, nor promises of reward work here.

Showing independence in this way, children not only refuse to carry out orders from mom and dad, they do the opposite. This is where reverse psychology comes into play. Suffice it to say that you will do everything yourself. The child will become even more angry. After all, he understands that disobedience becomes even stronger. Therefore, only because of stubbornness will he do what adults need.

Between a man and a woman

Over time, problems appear in relationships. Most often they are associated with everyday life. Surely you are familiar with the situation when the wife unsuccessfully once again asks her husband to do some work. This continues for several days, then months. Quarrels and scandals follow.

Reverse psychology helps to correct the situation. Do not get angry, do not splash out negative emotions. Calmly say that you understand the reasons for what is happening. Therefore, we decided to make the partner's day easier by using the services of a master. Almost always, a person in this case feels guilty for his irresponsibility and does what he promised.


How to subtly encourage a person to buy a particular product has already been said above. Consultants undergo special training, during which they learn to subtly manipulate the consciousness and emotions of a potential buyer. For example, when you are about to leave, you are kind of casually told that they already wanted to buy this thing. You have several feelings at once, including competition and greed. The seller's job is done.

In business relationships

Here the focus is on self-esteem. In order to motivate an employee to be more active, the manager can point out his shortcomings, downplay his positive character traits. This will be a kind of impetus for moving forward. A person will try to prove that in fact he is not so bad.

Ways of resistance

It is not easy to resist the tricks of reverse psychology. To do this, you must learn to control emotions. If you suddenly realize that guided by them, you are already making a completely logical decision, stop. Perhaps you are simply taken “on weakly”.

It is also worth thinking about if you get the feeling that you are acting on evil someone's words, requests, suggestions. Postpone the decision until later. Wait for the emotions to subside. Only after that, review the pros and cons again and make a choice.

If you feel the effect of reverse psychology on yourself, do not rush to label your interlocutor as a manipulator. Remember that this behavior may be unconscious. But still, be careful.

Reverse psychology books

We have already mentioned the books of the founder of reverse psychology M. Apter. There are other works:

  1. E. Berne, "People who play games." At the heart of the plot is the relationship in the triangle of an adult - a child - a parent. The author claims that in different periods of time, each participant changes the role. Understanding this helps to build harmonious relationships with other people.
  2. E. Byrne, Games People Play. Unusual edition. The reader is presented with more than 100 games that people will play with you throughout their lives. You will not only learn the rules. The author will help to successfully get out of the influence of the manipulator.

Such books will only help if you apply the advice from them in your life. Otherwise, knowledge will be useless.


Reverse psychology is ubiquitous.

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