New job anxiety depression

Change is easier for children: they don't analyze past and present. They just see the situation that needs to be changed, and they do it. Adults, on the other hand, have a hard time making decisions because “it’s too late”, “it’s okay”, “well, it’s not so bad” and “what will people say?”.

One of the most famous women in the US who built a business empire in the world of male managers, Judge Judy Sheindlin at the Forbes Women's Summit in 2018 said: “If you didn’t make it at 20, you can make it at 30; if you didn’t make it at 30, you can at 40; if you didn’t make it at 40, you can at 50. Just remember: Grandma Moses started painting when she was about 80 She was one of the most prolific female artists. It's never too late".

Most often, people think about changes in moments of crisis, which are associated with rethinking past experience, comparing old dreams and what we have now. Sometimes they come to this through depressive states in order to get out of some situation. If a person understands that for six months he does not receive any joy, he definitely needs to change something. nine0067

How to overcome the fear of a new job

Fear of a new job arises if a person:

• is not confident in his abilities;
• not sociable;
• trembles before superiors;
• is in general stress;
• chooses an unknown realm;
• decides to change life by 180 degrees.
  

Adults usually understand that they “do not know what they want to be when they grow up” for two reasons: because we choose a university and a profession quite early - at 16-18 years old. And in the course of life, views, interests, values ​​change. nine0009

In order to understand how to overcome the fear of a new job, we have collected stories of Foxford employees about their career path.

Foxforders' stories about life changes

Irina Romanova, tutor

Mother of many children. After her education in law and economics, at the age of 30 she decided to become a tutor.

Ekaterina Beloglazkina, tutor for grades 3–4

After seven years of working as the head of corporate sales in a large insurance company, in 2014 she decided to teach special piano and solfeggio. nine0009

Alyona Minina, class teacher of grades 3-4

She studied as a PR specialist in civil aviation, but decided to teach at school. I devoted five years to this and left to become an astrologer. As a result, she returned to the classroom management.

Rimma Berezovskaya, tutor for grades 1–2

Before the age of 28, she became a personal assistant to the CEO of a large company. She gave birth to a child and at the age of 30 decided to open a children's center. After a while, the business closed due to the pandemic, and she became a mentor. Now she is 38 years old, and she decided to have a second child. nine0009

Alexandra Barteneva, 8th grade mentor

At the age of 36, she retired from a prestigious and highly paid position in the banking sector. I decided to study psychology and started my online career from scratch.

Marina Kostrikova, teacher of 8th grade parallel

15 years worked as a teacher at school, led the KVN team. She worked part-time in camps and the Spread Your Wings Foundation. She changed everything to the position of deputy head of the Center for Scientific and Career Growth of the RANEPA branch, and then - chief specialist of the Department of Education and Youth Policy. She gave up everything for the SmartyKids center, where she became the executive director. During the pandemic, she returned to education, only now online. It also celebrated its fiftieth anniversary this year. nine0009

Natalia Spiridanchuk, 7th grade mentor

She was a teacher at civil and military universities, and in the interim she was the head of the magistracy department. At the same time, she studied to be a hairdresser, worked in contextual advertising and whatever she did during the crisis. She decided to return to education - she became a mentor and plans to be a methodologist.

Maria Portola, tutor for grades 1–2

She has worked at Russian Railways in a senior position for more than 20 years. A year ago I learned to be a tutor, quit and went to work in a correctional school for children with intellectual disabilities. nine0009

Dmitry Evstafiev, 5th grade mentor

After the army he was engaged in construction, then he was a military engineer. At the age of 39, he studied as an oligophrenopedagogue, a special psychologist and a family psychologist.

Nikita Pogodin, author

Traded the life of an office plankton for a kitchen job in a mental hospital.

Alena Khromova, author

She studied at a pedagogical university, worked at a school, a youth center, a camp. She was a teacher, methodologist, teacher-organizer, counselor, deputy director. At one point I decided: “Why not start writing lyrics?” nine0005

Illustration: tubik.arts / Dribbble

How to overcome stress at a new job

I have not liked being a new girl since high school. The first days in a new class or in a children's camp, I always lived through gritting my teeth. A week before departure, unpleasant thoughts could be brushed aside: a lot of time separated me from the test and future experiences seemed distant and not so inevitable.

On the eve of day X, there was nowhere to put off the anxiety, and it did not leave me all day. Unpleasant thoughts were spinning in my head: what if I don’t make friends in the new class? What if I do something stupid on the first day and everyone laughs at me? The mood deteriorated, it was hard to fall asleep in the evening, I didn’t want to have breakfast in the morning, and it was bad to talk with new acquaintances. Then everything somehow fell into a rut, and the adults said: “You see, but you were worried.” nine0005

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As I grew up, my fear of being the new girl stayed with me—as did my social awkwardness. It is still hard for me to talk to a stranger, I am embarrassed to ask questions, and when I am worried, I talk nonsense and sometimes joke inappropriately. The good news is that I somehow learned to live with it. Moreover, sometimes the only one who notices my mistakes is myself. And although the first days at a new job are still stressful for me, it turned out that joining a new team is quite a feasible task. Even for socially awkward introverts. nine0005

So what do you need to do to fit into a new team? How to feel confident if the situation is not conducive to this?

1.

Accept temporary difficulties

You will feel out of place - you can't do without it. Even if you have everything in order with soft skills and you are the soul of the company, it still takes time to remember the names of colleagues and understand the processes. Personally, the first days are the hardest for me to deal with stress. Therefore, when I start a new job, I lower my expectations of myself for a while. nine0005

I know I won't do anything great the first week, simply because most of the time I'll be worried and aware of what's going on. On the very first day, I skip lunch because I'm too nervous, and then I go home on cottony legs. My adaptation always goes like this - I know about it and one day I made a strong-willed decision to just put up with it. There is no escape from this, this is my usual path to assimilation - and there is no other way. So I will go this route. It will be uncomfortable, but one day the bumps will end - and somehow imperceptibly for me. nine0005

Accept temporary difficulties - this way you will save energy that would otherwise be spent on worrying about how you look from the outside.

2. Observe

So, in the early days, I reduce the demands on myself and do two things: observe colleagues and digest information. That is, I, of course, do not eavesdrop and do not look over my shoulder at other people's monitors. I just look around, listen - and draw conclusions.

This is how I learn a lot of important things. Is it customary to speak formally and to the point here, or can you put a couple of slang words into speech and tell a story from life? How is it customary to celebrate a birthday: bring a cake, invite everyone to a business lunch at the nearest cafe, or order pizza? Do they bring souvenirs from vacation, and if so, is it a couple of bottles of wine for everyone or a fridge magnet for everyone? Are there people in the company who are openly liked or disliked? For what? nine0005

Watch, and in a few days you will understand at least a little how everything works here. Knowledge about colleagues will be a bonus. You will understand who is a lover of order here, and who is an office rebel; distinguish talkers from silent people, silent people from bullies, and at the same time identify potential friends for yourself.

3. Ask and ask again

I'm constantly worried about how I look from the outside, and I'm afraid to seem stupid. In a state of stress, anxiety increases. Before asking any (even the most necessary) question, I hesitate, I say it to myself and wonder if it's worth it. In the end, of course, I ask - and not one question, but a whole bunch. nine0005

At first it is difficult for me to ask for help, but then, along with other difficulties, I accept this one. There is nothing on Google about the processes or traditions in a particular team, but I need this information in order to do my tasks well. It remains only to ask colleagues. It is worth switching this toggle switch in your head - and embarrassment disappears.

The need to ask again stands apart in this topic. It can be difficult for me to admit that I did not understand the answer, but ... you also need to go along this road. If you are embarrassed to ask again, it is important to notice this feeling and negotiate with yourself. In the end, what would be better: to remain silent, not to seem stupid and at the same time not to learn something important, or to ask again, even if it’s embarrassing for me? The second option always wins – both when I didn’t catch the name of a new colleague, and when I didn’t understand the technical details. nine0005

And besides, if you ask a lot of questions, then you care. Everyone will like your indifference.

4. Try to be social - just a little bit

I know it doesn't sound very good. And yet, I warmly recommend stepping into fear and inviting colleagues to dinner or offering them help with something worldly. If colleagues invite you somewhere, agree too. While you are eating or erasing notes from the board together, the conversation starts by itself - and now you have already forgotten why, in fact, it was embarrassing. Here we make a small reservation: choose neutral topics and do not rush to tell how bad it was at your last job. Better discuss something safe like movies or pets. nine0005

5. Don't try to impress

The advice seems to be illogical, but I'll explain everything now. Every time I want to impress someone, it doesn't end well. I begin to closely follow my every movement, word, position in space, and because of this I become even more constrained. Therefore, no casual jokes and fresh ideas for you - just a robotic “Ha. Ha. Ha." and unnaturally long pauses.

In the early days, I am overcome by the desire to show how much and how well I work. “Now I’ll write a business plan in a day” or “I’ll organize a conference in a week.” By the age of 25, I learned to answer myself just as cheerfully: “You can’t organize. Or you organize, but it will turn out to be complete nonsense. ” No need to take on a bunch of tasks and heroically sit on them until midnight. Nobody expects this from you. In addition, to raise the bar at the entrance is short-sighted. Everyone will think that you can work for five, and they will expect just that from you. The case will end with overtime, persistent fatigue, or something else equally unpleasant. nine0005

Do not try to be seen by your superiors in the first days, impress others with your wit and efficiency. Better set yourself another task - not to exacerbate your stress.

6. Don't lie

My first job taught me this. In an attempt to make small talk, a new colleague asked if I was familiar with the work of Leni Riefenstahl. I lied and answered “yes” so as not to sound stupid. Then he began to discuss her propaganda films with me, but, as you understand, nothing came of it. After that conversation, I watched both Olympia and Triumph of the Will, and at the same time I remembered: it’s better not to lie at a new job. nine0005

Do not embellish your skills, do not exaggerate your experience - after all, you will be believed and given tasks that you cannot cope with.

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