Men who are needy


53 Irritating Characteristics Of Needy Men In A Relationship

Are you worried that you’re dating a needy man?

Would you like to get to the bottom of who this guy is? Is he a needy leach or an independent and strong man?

Perhaps you can’t tell whether he is actually needy, because sometimes he hides it well?

Well, you’re about to find out - because this guide features 53 telltale characteristics of a needy guy. The more of these features he shows, the more likely that he is indeed the pathetic needy worm you don’t want to date.

If you’re keen to stop attracting needy men and start dating high-quality guys who have their lives together, I’d urge you to read this guide about a part of the male brain called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

This part of the male mind is mostly associated with attraction and deep desire for women.

If you can learn to appeal to this part of the male mind, it becomes very easy to have been starting to OBSESS over you.

This has been proven to be consistently true - no matter what demographic of man you’re chasing or how long you’ve known him.

It’s a psychological trick that very few women seem to know about at this point in time.

I turned my dating fortunes around the moment I began to master this skill of unlocking a man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’. You can learn how I did it by reading this guide.

You deserve better to be dating pathetic needy men for your whole life.

To find out whether your latest love interest fits into that category, scroll down for my list of telltale signs.

Contents

  • 1 53 Traits Of A Needy Man
    • 1.1 1. Constantly trying to please you
    • 1.2 2. Always paying you compliments
    • 1.3 3. Seems not to have friends
    • 1.4 4. Gives ultimatums
    • 1.5 5. He hardly has alone time
    • 1.6 6. He doesn’t let you have alone time
    • 1.7 7. He doesn’t take things slow
    • 1.8 8. He’s always calling
    • 1. 9 9. He’s always texting
    • 1.10 10. He gets angry or nervous when you don’t pick up
    • 1.11 11. Respond speedily to calls and messages
    • 1.12 12. He’s constantly liking your photos on social media
    • 1.13 13. He stalks you on social media
    • 1.14 14. He’s constantly sending you DMs
    • 1.15 15. He’s constantly seeking your approval
    • 1.16 16. He constantly seeks your attention
    • 1.17 17. He uses emotional blackmail
    • 1.18 18. He begs and bargains for attention
    • 1.19 19. He’s passive-aggressive 
    • 1.20 20. He’s argumentative and absolutely needs to win
    • 1.21 21. He makes over the top gestures
    • 1.22 22. He chokes you with too much attention 
    • 1.23 23. He constantly misses you
    • 1.24 24. He doesn’t mind being the third wheel
    • 1.25 25. He’s willing to follow you everywhere
    • 1.26 26. He interrogates anyone who wants to hang out with you
    • 1.27 27. He gets unnecessarily jealous
    • 1. 28 28. He wants to be involved in everything you do
    • 1.29 29. He’s overly dependent 
    • 1.30 30. His emotions are dependent on yours
    • 1.31 31. He has no boundaries
    • 1.32 32. They abandon their interests for yours
    • 1.33 33. They replace their opinions for yours
    • 1.34 34. He replaces his hobbies for yours
    • 1.35 35. He needs constant reassurance from you 
    • 1.36 36. He is more interested in you than you are in them
    • 1.37 37. He tries to gain others' respect 
    • 1.38 38. He sometimes puts other people down to make himself look good
    • 1.39 39. He overreacts to other people’s opinions of him
    • 1.40 40. He loves to talk about other people’s shortcomings
    • 1.41 41. He believes others have character flaws except him 
    • 1.42 42. He falls for the halo effect
    • 1.43 43. He takes a lot but finds it hard to give except when he’s doing it in exchange for attention or something else
    • 1.44 44. He constantly wants to know what you’re doing
    • 1. 45 45. He’s constantly giving you too much information
    • 1.46 46. He gets upset when your plans don’t involve him
    • 1.47 47. He’s clingy
    • 1.48 48. He tries to be overly familiar with your friends and family
    • 1.49 49. He always insists on paying
    • 1.50 50. He’s very critical of himself and others
    • 1.51 51. He’s a very scared individual
    • 1.52 52. He constantly wants to show you off
    • 1.53 53. He’s obsessive
  • 2 FAQs
  • 3 In Conclusion

53 Traits Of A Needy Man

1. Constantly trying to please you

A clingy guy who likes a woman will stick to her as his life depends on it, he’ll be a bit too accommodating, and do things that inconvenience him just to please others.

2. Always paying you compliments

Women like to be paid compliments, but it can become a bit too much when it’s done every time, especially when we don’t really look our best.  

3. Seems not to have friends

Most women like guys who prefer to stick to one person, which would be their woman of course. However, he should have others to hang out with sometimes. Focusing all his time and energy on the relationship could make things uncomfortable. 

4. Gives ultimatums

When a guy doesn’t have others in his life to keep him company or offer his support, all his attention is mostly on one person. If it’s the woman he’s dating, he may start giving ultimatums in the relationship, just to guilt her into staying with him. 

5. He hardly has alone time

Even women have that time they set apart to go out with their friends, and generally spend time with others. If the guy you’re dating only wants to hang out and do things with you, he’ll have time for himself. 

6. He doesn’t let you have alone time

If a guy insists on spending every waking hour with you then he’s probably clingy. The same way he doesn’t take time out to hang with friends, he doesn’t want you to relate with others as well. 

7. He doesn’t take things slow

A clingy guy feels the need to rush through stages, he wants to get to the part where you both spend your lives together, and he mines that literally. When dating, they’ll push for a more serious relationship, they are the kind to propose just after dating you for one or two months.

8. He’s always calling

Every woman appreciates a man who checks up on her during the day, but when he’s calling you at every opportunity he gets, it's not so attractive anymore. 

9. He’s always texting

If a needy man isn't constantly calling you or leaving voice notes all day, he’s probably constantly texting you. Some even break the unspoken rule of not texting the moment they get your number.

10. He gets angry or nervous when you don’t pick up

If calling and texting a million times isn't enough, most times clingy guys would get frustrated and angry when you don’t pick up or respond. They’d sometimes even send text messages or try to call to find out if it was something they did. 

11. Respond speedily to calls and messages

Clingy guys may appear really desperate in the relationship. He may even seem like he’s constantly sitting by his phone waiting for it to ring. He may not do this with others, but he’s really hung on you.

12. He’s constantly liking your photos on social media

If he followed you on all your social media platforms the same day you both met and he seems to have liked every last photo on your page, then he’s probably a needy guy.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

13. He stalks you on social media

For some reason, he seems to be so up-to-date with all your posts both old and recent. He’s always the first to like and comment on your posts. He also seems to know every change you’ve made to your profile.  

14. He’s constantly sending you DMs

If he’s generally too active on your social media pages, this is not a good sign. If every time you have a message in your inbox it’s his, then I’m afraid your man may just be a little too clingy. 

15. He’s constantly seeking your approval

You know he’s needy if he constantly shape-shifts into what he thinks you like. He craves your approval on almost everything so he’s too afraid to have a mind of his own. He also tells you only what you want to hear. 

16. He constantly seeks your attention

He’s constantly seeking attention from you. Positive attention is not bad at all but excessively demanding attention which has not been earned is quite problematic.

17. He uses emotional blackmail

Some guys will try to guilt you in an attempt to get you to spend time with them. They resort to emotional blackmail to make you feel bad about wanting to spend time with others and not them.  

18.

He begs and bargains for attention

When emotional blackmail doesn’t succeed, they don’t mind begging for your time. He’ll want to bargain and persuade you to stay with him instead of going to other social gatherings. 

19. He’s passive-aggressive 

Using passive aggression as a weapon is not new to any clingy man, he’ll withdraw from you, start ignoring you, or silently become hostile. This technique has probably worked with others, or someone in his past relationship, it’s a way to make his partner feel guilty. 

20. He’s argumentative and absolutely needs to win

It's really unpleasant being around a person who constantly argues about everything. Neediness can also manifest in this way, even people who love being mentally challenged find constant arguments draining. 

21. He makes over the top gestures

Women love attention and absolutely love gifts. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t a line that should be drawn in this regard. It almost feels like he’s trying to buy your affection instead of earning it.  

22. He chokes you with too much attention 

Yes, there is such a thing as too much attention, and it can be quite choking. A needy man will not hesitate to shower you with all the attention possible so much that it could make you a bit sick.

23. He constantly misses you

It's nice to be missed, it makes women feel special. However, when you’ve spent loads of hours sometimes even straight days with a person and happen to get one hour alone, but they still try to flood you with calls and text messages, it’s not so pleasant. 

24. He doesn’t mind being the third wheel

Men usually hate being the third wheel, they find it uncomfortable and boring. However, cling guys would damn the consequences just to be around you.

25. He’s willing to follow you everywhere

Guys like this won’t mind tagging along even when they’re not invited. It’s nice to have a boyfriend that you can share experiences with, visit places together and all. When he’s constantly shadowing you wherever you go especially without your approval, it’s a major problem.  

26. He interrogates anyone who wants to hang out with you

A little over-protectiveness never hurts anyone especially if you're the type of girl who likes feeling taken care of. However, if when you want to hang out with others, he starts interrogating you, or them, it can become too much.

27. He gets unnecessarily jealous

A clingy boyfriend wants you all to himself when he sees you with others, he almost feels like you’re cheating on him. He may get annoyingly jealous and insecure quite often which can be a problem especially if you do not like drama.

28. He wants to be involved in everything you do

Every woman would love a supportive boyfriend, someone who’s involved in her interests and life as a whole. Yet, it's not very attractive to have someone who can’t seem to get his nose out of your business.

29. He’s overly dependent 

A clingy man has this unspoken way of communicating co-dependence. His self-confidence and self-image would be dependent on the way you treat him; sometimes even his entire disposition could be affected if things aren’t right between you both.

30. His emotions are dependent on yours

If you notice that he’s only excited and giddy when you are, or he gets upset when you’re in a quiet or withdrawn mood, this often shows that his emotions are fully dependent on yours.  

31. He has no boundaries

Relationships are far more appreciated when both parties have and appreciate boundaries in both their personal and shared lives. A clingy guy believes that he owns your space and time, he’ll do anything to protect that. 

32. They abandon their interests for yours

He may have had plans to hang out with others; friends, colleagues, family, but somehow when you say you’ll be back early, he ditches all that to spend time with you. This can start out as cute until he starts abandoning beneficial things and relationships for you. 

33. They replace their opinions for yours

Needy men are often so eager to please that they are more than willing to exchange their opinions for yours. It's so bad that they could end up losing themselves.

34. He replaces his hobbies for yours

A clingy guy is more likely to jump ship abandoning his opinions for yours. If this continues, you’d notice that his personal and individual view of life, in general, has been completely changed to yours.  

35. He needs constant reassurance from you 

No matter how much effort you put into telling him, and even showing him how much you love and care about him, he’d constantly need verbal assurance from you. 

36. He is more interested in you than you are in them

Most relationships consist of that one person who is a tad more involved than the other person. In some cases, this keeps the relationship going. However, if you're with a needy guy he will make it no secret that he's way more into you than you are in him. 

37. He tries to gain others' respect 

By now I believe we’ve well established that a needy man is not at all self-sufficient. He depends on others to reassure him that he's worthy of anything. He constantly feels the need to voice out his accomplishments to others, he feels more accepted by people this way.  

38. He sometimes puts other people down to make himself look good

There are many similarities between an insecure man and a needy man. Much like an insecure man, a needy man needs other people to validate him. So he would often fall into the temptation of putting other people down to make himself feel good. 

39. He overreacts to other people’s opinions of him

A needy man would often get overly upset or throw a fit over the opinion of others. Since people’s opinions mean so much to them, any negative criticism would extremely sting. 

40. He loves to talk about other people’s shortcomings

Talking about other people’s setbacks and issues gives a needy man more confidence and self-esteem. Knowing that someone is more weak or flawed than him gives him some form of comfort. 

41. He believes others have character flaws except him 

A needy man could eventually cross the line from being insecure to conceited or delusional. They could tend to criticize or judge others as if they personally have no character flaws.

42. He falls for the halo effect

The halo effect describes a situation where one trait on a person is used to make an overall or complete judgment about that person. Needy guys are usually victims of this, they easily view things from a 2-dimensional point of view.

43. He takes a lot but finds it hard to give except when he’s doing it in exchange for attention or something else

Needy men can be self-gratifying so they’re usually takers, they’ll want to take a lot of your attention, your space, even certain aspects of your life and energy.

44. He constantly wants to know what you’re doing

A needy man is basically a semi-stalker. He‘ll constantly call or text to find out where you are and what you’re doing.

45. He’s constantly giving you too much information

A needy man is the complete opposite of a neglected partner. He’s way too invested in any relationship he is in. He’ll want to know way too much about you and in turn, will offer too much information about himself. 

46. He gets upset when your plans don’t involve him

Leaving him out of a plan or engagement of yours seems to him like you’re stabbing him in the back. He will often get very upset if he finds out that he’s not allowed to tag along.

47. He’s clingy

It goes without saying that needy men are quite clingy, the attention and presence of their love interest mean the world to them so they try to stick to them for as long as possible sometimes day-in and day-out. 

48. He tries to be overly familiar with your friends and family

It's nice when your spouse is in good and friendly terms with your closest friends and family, but when he starts to force a relationship with the closest people in your life it can get very awkward and uncomfortable.

49. He always insists on paying

Like we’ve mentioned in some of the above points, a needy guy often likes to overcompensate because he's very co-dependent. Most times this may manifest as over-the-top gestures like never allowing you to pay for any shared purchases.

50. He’s very critical of himself and others

A needy man is very self-critical, he's hard on himself and therefore hard on other people. This could make it very hard to relate with them without any friction.

51. He’s a very scared individual

A needy man is constantly afraid of a lot of things, he's scared of losing people’s approval, losing certain relationships, and losing the respect of others.

52. He constantly wants to show you off

A needy man believes that there’s little special about him or his life. Therefore he would often use you or any other seemingly impressive person that is associated with him to make up for his shortcomings. 

53. He’s obsessive

A needy man is quite prone to obsessions and obsessive behavior. It's very hard for them to let go of things said or done. They’re also prone to obsessing over people.  

FAQs

What are the characteristics of a needy person?

A needy person is anyone who's constantly in need of attention or help. They absolutely cannot stand being alone and can be a bit co-dependent. They also tend to be very clingy and don’t understand certain hints to detach.

How do you deal with a needy man?

Though a needy guy may seem to be excessively emotional, the only way you can deal with him in a civil way is, to be honest. Be sure to let him know that his attention is appreciated but that degree of attention is not something you’re used to. He may also need professional help to improve his self-confidence.

How can you tell if a guy is clingy?

If a guy is clingy, he’ll be too engaged in your life and business. He’ll also always feel the need to be around you. In summary, he’ll be excessively attached to you and may even get upset if you ask or demand your own privacy.  

Is being needy a turn-off?

Being needy is a major turn-off. It's extremely unattractive because it shows that he's not confident in himself and has very low self-esteem. Most needy men have this trait because they feel like they’re not a catch and may not be able to attract another woman.

Why are people emotionally needy?

People are emotionally needy when they believe that they are not good enough. Neediness often stems from low self-esteem, low self-respect, depression, or the inability to control and regulate one's feelings independently.

In Conclusion

Needy men may think that all they are doing is showing you love, but that much attention, time, and clinginess can lead to something else. If you can find out why this guy acts like this, or encourage him to see a counselor, it may help him.

I hope you enjoyed reading through this list, don’t forget to comment below, and share the article with friends and loved ones.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

8 Signs You Are Dating A Needy Man And 5 Things You Can Do About It

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Sometimes in life, you will have the misfortune of meeting a needy man – one who has no idea what space is. Wherever you go, there they are, your favorite drink in tow. It’s like they are a lonely, wet puppy – completely unable to function without you. To be fair, it’s kinda cute in the beginning. But, when they refuse to leave your side and don’t let you function alone, it will get old fast.

We agree that clingy guys are a turn-off. But how are you going to draw a line between emotionally available and clinginess? We are here today to help you spot the typical needy boyfriend signs. And to discuss the same, we spoke to Sampreeti Das (Master in Clinical Psychology and Ph.D. Researcher), who specializes in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and Holistic and Transformational Psychotherapy.

What causes a man to be needy?

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The traditional gender role dictates men are likely to have a butch personality and should keep their innate emotions to themselves and build a tough exterior. The fact that your man is so secure with his masculinity that he can be expressive about his emotional needs is truly a good sign. When a man chooses to be vulnerable with a woman or a man, and breaks out of his shell, he must be really comfortable around them.

But nothing in excess is well-accepted by anyone. It was okay when he stayed on the phone till 3 every night to talk to you right after you started dating. But you are supposed to go back to normalcy as the relationship ages and staying awake all night might not be an option when you have an early morning meeting the next day. And that’s when signs of a desperate man in a relationship become all the more prominent.

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The constant neediness of clingy guys can make you lose interest in them slowly. If you are facing the obvious problems with dating a needy man, maybe you should look into the reasons behind his behavior before completely discarding the idea of having a future with him. So, what causes a man to be needy for affection? For most clingy guys, it’s the crippling fear of abandonment that makes them hold on to their partner so tight that it might suffocate the other person.

If his needs as a child were not met by the primary caregivers or he had to go through the trauma of his parents’ separation, it’s quite natural for such fears to jeopardize all his future relationships. Being insecure about financial status, looks, or poor people skills might also contribute to the typical characteristics of a needy man. We have listed out several reasons behind a man being needy for affection:

  • Rational/irrational jealousy of your other male friends, acquaintances, and colleagues
  • Not having a life or social circle of his own which makes his world revolve around you
  • Codependency or other kinds of insecure attachment styles
  • He thinks you are keeping him at a distance
  • Fear of being left alone
  • Trauma from childhood or previous relationships
  • Perhaps it’s a temporary emotional crisis and he needs a little more support than usual to deal with it

What Are The Signs Of A Needy Man?

The signs of a desperate man in a relationship may be hard to spot in the beginning. Maybe he keeps turning up at your workplace so you can have lunch together, making your coworkers go giddy at the adorableness of it all. But by the 275th time he does it, you start to wonder if he has any life outside of your relationship at all.

How is he always around? Where are his friends? When does he work? Dear god, are you dating a needy man because he for sure shows all the signs of a desperate man in a relationship? Well, it’s time to find out. Here are 8 sure-fire warning signs of a needy man that you should look out for:

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1.    He always wants to spend time with you

When you are in love, you want to spend time with each other. We get that. The first few months of a relationship are all about trying to spend every waking moment with each other. You will skip classes, go late to work, and sneak out of your home just to spend a few more hours with them. But there’s still a limit to it.

Even if you miss them every time you breathe, you probably won’t abandon work, studies, and social life completely so you can sleep, eat, brush, and poop with them. If he wants to spend time with you all day, every day, even at the cost of his work and social life, I think you’ve got an emotionally needy boyfriend in your hands. When cute turns to clingy and obsessive, that’s when we have a problem.

Sampreeti says, “The question is not about just wanting to spend time with the partner, rather, it is about the reason behind why such need is being imposed at the cost of essential activities. Often such needs of clingy guys spring emotional manipulation like, “If you do not spend time with me, it means you don’t love me anymore”. So, the need to spend time is more of a validation tool instead of a behavioral trait motivated by love.”

Related Reading: How To Deal With A Clingy Boyfriend?

2.   He keeps calling or texting you

A clingy guy always wants to be right beside you. When he can’t physically be by your side, he literally blows up your phone with calls, texts, and memes. And we aren’t talking about the odd cute cat video and a funny meme now and then while you’re at work. If he calls almost every other hour and sends 25 “I miss you” texts in the span of a workday, you’ve got a needy man in your hands.

Sampreeti points out, “Some partners do enjoy and want an omnipresence of each other. Judging this behavior as right or wrong would need both the partners’ opinions. However, if one partner differs in their idea of personal and couple space and the other partner is not handling that fact well, it may signal differences in ideologies.”

3.   He seems to have stopped hanging out with anyone other than you

This one’s a classic. He waits for you right outside your office. He spends lunchtime with you. His weekends are yours. He is curled up on the couch beside you on weekdays. His phone never rings, never lights up with texts. You wonder where all his friends are. Do they never want to hang out or get a drink after work? How is he always available and ready to hang out with you?

If his entire social circle and life seem to be comprised of you and only you, it’s because he has abandoned everyone so he can hang out with just you. And if that’s not the sign of a needy man, we don’t know what is. Or perhaps his social life kind of lives and dies with you because he genuinely is a lonely bird leading him to display characteristics of a needy man.

4.   He wants to do everything with you

He wants to watch the newest superhero movie with you. He wants to take you to baseball matches. He will go shopping with you. He will wait to watch a show on Netflix just so you can see it together. All very cute, yes. But not when he literally puts his life and interests on hold so that you can participate together. Clingy guys don’t like doing anything alone or with anyone else. It always, always has to be you. Basically, it all goes from cute to creepy super quickly.

Related Reading: Here’s How Being Clingy In A Relationship Can Sabotage It

5.   He gets upset when you don’t abandon friends and work to spend time with him

Problems with dating a needy man become more glaring when he expects the same kind of dysfunctional emotional investment from you. Someone with the needy man syndrome won’t want to spend time with anyone but you. And he doesn’t want you to spend time with anyone else either. A desperate man will literally have fits of jealousy if you go out for drinks with friends without him.

He will claim that he feels ignored by the one he loves. He has abandoned everyone for you. He doesn’t understand why you can’t do the same for him. “Cutting off established healthy social resources is a red alert of an unhealthy relationship. If a partner feels forced to do so, it is time to reflect on one’s role and position in the relationship,” says Sampreeti.

6.   His routine is centered around yours

He has changed his entire routine to suit yours. Maybe his office doesn’t start till 11 a.m. but he refuses to sleep in so he can spend a few hours with you in the morning. He schedules his dentist appointment the same day as yours. He starts going to the same shops, same malls, same doctors. His days off always have to match yours. He is right beside you the moment you step out of the office. I could go on but I think you get the drift.

“Additionally,” says Sampreeti, “It will be helpful to know why this routine is so important for your partner. We all grow up with an idea of what a relationship is. Similarly, our partner will also have such a concept. The issue is that their concept may not match with ours. It is important to understand their relationship model and love language. Alterations can start from there.”

7.   He won’t stop complimenting you

We all like getting complimented by people we love and like. Them calling us pretty or liking the new haircut we got can make our day. But the needy man takes it up several notches. He just can’t stop complimenting you. Your hair, your ears, your nose ring, your choice of coffee, how you stack your files, your sleeping posture – everything, to him, is compliment-worthy.

And that’s exactly what makes you think, “Clingy guys are a turn-off.” Appreciation from your partner may give your ego a massive boost. But after a certain point, it’s important to recognize this as one of the characteristics of a needy man and you should refuse to condone such obsessive behavior.

8.   He gets upset if you don’t let him tag along everywhere

Sure, you like going to places with him. And you don’t mind when he hangs out with your friends with you. But somehow, he is at your side even when you have a girls’ night out. He is with you when you go to your best friend’s bachelorette, her baby shower, or when you’re having dinner with your parents.

The thought of giving you space turns him anxious. He tries to take the same classes as you. He would follow you to the office if he could. If he can’t tag along, he tries to convince you to not go at all. At this point, it’s like he is physically glued to your side. Of all the needy boyfriend signs, put a pin on this one because no one is worth losing your personal space.

5 Things To Do If You Are Dating A Needy Man

Wondering how to deal with a needy man? Breaking up with a needy man is not the only solution. Not always, anyway. Sometimes, you can take action to ensure that the problems are nipped in the bud. So, just in case you feel that he is being too clingy, here are some things you can do about it:

Related Reading: How To Deal With A Partner Who Makes You Feel Insecure

1.    Communicate

Nothing beats healthy communication. When there is a lack of communication in the relationship, maybe he won’t even realize what he is doing. Speaking up and telling your boo that you are starting to feel uncomfortable with the sheer lack of space is important. Remember not to be hurtful but be clear about your worries and wants. Clear communication can often work wonders.

2.   Set clear boundaries

Talk to him about boundaries. Create a set of ground rules. If it is getting really out of hand, create schedules that clearly indicate the maximum time you are allowed to spend together before taking a break and hanging out with other people. Whatever works, really. Just make sure they understand that these rules and boundaries you are creating together should not be messed with unless in case of emergencies.

Related Reading: Dating After A Breakup – The 9 Step Perfect Strategy

3.   Spend time apart

Take time away from each other. Maybe go on a break. Take a vacation to Bali alone. Just spend some time apart to remind him that both of you can exist, function, and thrive without each other. Remind him how important space is in a relationship.

Sampreeti also feels that it is important to be certain about what this break duration is. A partner who would like to cling all the time may not take well to the idea of a break. So, it is important to figure out how to make this work as dynamics vary in every relationship.

4.   Suggest therapy

If things really hit the fan and nothing seems to be working, maybe it’s time to take the help of professionals. Individual therapy can work wonders when it comes to alienating the reasons behind such needy tendencies. Even couple’s therapy is a great idea in such situations. Skilled and experienced counselors on Bonobology’s panel of experts are always here to help you alleviate your relationship.

5.   If nothing works, run

Sometimes, there really are no answers. People aren’t meant to be symbiotic creatures. We are all separate individuals, each with our own quirks, needs, and wants. And we all need space to breathe. People’s space getting breached over and over again can have serious mental and physical repercussions. So, if nothing works – not communication, not routines, not even therapy – it may just be time to pack up and leave. It’s not like you didn’t try. But some things are just not meant to be.

Key Pointers

  • A needy man would want to spend all his time with you and keep calling and texting you
  • Apparently, he doesn’t have a social life or he abandons it to be with you
  • He would adjust his schedule around yours, and expects you to do the same
  • To deal with clingy guys, you should have clear communication and set some firm boundaries
  • Perhaps you should take a break or go for couple’s counseling
  • If noting works, a breakup might be the only way forward

Can a needy man change? With time and effort, probably. Neediness is not easy to recognize. We often mistake signs of a needy man for care, we call it adorable behavior and often end up adding fuel to the flame. This makes it all the more important to be aware of the red flags and attempt to nip such behavior in the bud.

FAQs

1. What are needy behaviors?

Constantly hogging your partner’s personal space and time, the need for repeated reassurances that your partner truly loves you, unfair jealousy and fishing for compliments, demanding them to be available on phone calls or WhatsApp throughout the day – all these are trademark signs of needy behavior.

2. Is needy attractive?

The neediness of your partner may seem cute in the beginning if not attractive, but it won’t take much time to transform into irritating, if the same pattern goes on for long.

3. Should you break up if you are dating a needy man?

You can try everything that’s in your hand to fix this situation, from clear communication to setting boundaries to going for couple’s counseling. If nothing seems to work and the needy man is getting on your nerves, breaking up would be the wisest decision.

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What men want: 30 things every woman should know: January 06, 2015, 08:41

January 06, 2015, 08:41

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Usually everyone is just talking about what a woman wants and how to understand her, while completely forgetting that in the world there is not only a female, but also a male. Men, oddly enough, are also people who have their own desires and needs, as well as secrets that every woman would not hurt to know if she wants to know better, and most importantly, understand men.

Don't look at his browsing history

Just take our word for it, you have nothing to do there. A lot of what you think is a real perversion is considered the norm among guys. But if you still decide to see what sites your boyfriend visited, don't say later that we didn't warn you. Friends are sacred to a man you like it.

Don't try to change him

You still won't succeed, and such attempts can only spoil your relationship. Love your man for who he is, or find someone else.

Don't worry if he pays attention to another

This is a natural reflex and there is nothing you can do about it.

Never criticize his mother. But not vice versa. Perhaps he fell in love with you precisely for those qualities that are inherent in his mother. In any case, try to understand what these qualities are - so it will be easier for you to build relationships with his mother.

Old grievances must be forgotten

Relationships are bound to have conflicts. Know how to end a quarrel in time, do not remember past grievances and do not operate with old arguments. As they say, whoever remembers the old, get out of the eye! Otherwise, a man may lose confidence, and, ultimately, change his attitude towards you.

Don't ask questions you don't want answered Accept it and love it as it is now, without asking unnecessary questions, the answers to which you may not like.

Do not pester him with conversations as soon as he enters the door. It is unlikely that, having come home after a hard day's work, a man will want to chat and discuss all the events of the past day in great detail. Let him be in silence or near the TV with a bottle of beer.

Not having sex is fraught with trouble

If you suffer from a headache for a long period of time or come up with other reasons to avoid marital debt, then we cannot vouch for the consequences.

He will always be jealous of male friends

the partner will certainly begin to be jealous, as he wants to be the only man in your life.

He wants to be needed

Maybe you are an independent woman and he likes it. But at the same time, he needs to feel needed. Therefore, let him change a burnt out light bulb on his own or drive a nail into the wall. This will increase the self-esteem of a man.

Keep yourself in shape

Even if you are sure that your man will not go anywhere from you and will love you forever, do not forget to go to the gym and watch your diet.

Ultimatums don't work

Every time you try to get a man to do something, he will resent you. Before setting conditions (either/or), try to tell him honestly what you expect from him in this relationship.

He wants children. However, before you stop taking birth control, make sure he is ready for it.

He feels when he is led by the nose. Therefore, be sincere, otherwise the worst-case scenario will develop in the man’s head.

He wants you to share his interests. Even if, frankly, you don’t like his occupation, try to enjoy it - the man will appreciate it and be happy.

Decide for yourself how you will go out in public

The more clothes you try on before going out, the more impatient a man becomes. After the second change of outfit, he doesn't care what you wear.

You should always take his side

Of course everything should be within reason However, if he entered into an argument, and you do not share his point of view, supporting your opponent, get ready for the fact that a man may never forgive you for this.

Bring something new into his life

If you help your man develop as a person, he will always be grateful to you for it.

Always be specific about what you want. And as a result, he will remain extreme.

He does not like short haircuts

Alas, only a few men prefer short haircuts. Therefore, before deciding on drastic changes in appearance, find out what your lover thinks about this.

Become his muse

"Behind every great man is a great woman." Men need to be inspired and supported, then they are able to move mountains for you.

In a difficult period, give him your shoulder

Life consists not only of victories, but also of defeats. It is not necessary to give any advice or make him talk about his feelings - this will help women more likely, but not men. Better do what he loves the most, and then his despondency will be removed as if by hand.

He doesn't want to know about your past sexual experience

You don't want him to be jealous of your past. We do not advise you to brag to him about the details of an intimate life with an ex. Convince your partner that he is the one and only in your bedroom, or at least lie.

Having lied once, he will do it again

Let him open the door for you. However, you must not forget to allow yourself to become at least a little weak, and a man to be a gentleman and take care of you. For this, he will love you even more.

Give him the opportunity to feel like a winner

The strong half of humanity cannot stand it when women cope with men's activities better than them. Men have a fragile ego, so a woman sometimes needs to be flexible and cunning, and also show her partner how much stronger, smarter and more courageous he is.

He loves compliments. Despite the fact that men are the stronger sex, they also need approval, praise and support. Praise the man: tell him how good he looks, how strong and smart he is. Appropriate and sincere compliments inspire a man.

Do not strive to be right in everything

You shouldn't always stand your ground so zealously and foam at the mouth to prove your case. Men also want their opinions to be taken into account. Don't contradict him just because you see things differently.

Men are not as complicated as you think

This does not mean that men are more stupid or frivolous than women, they just do not like to complicate things. If women make allowances for this, then the problems of misunderstanding will immediately disappear.

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10 types of women who attract men

1. Baby

No, we are not talking about midgets. It's just that some men love girls more infantile, they like this childlike gaiety and playfulness. Especially such a female type is attracted to daddy men who need a “little sun” to illuminate their monotonous life. However, don't be fooled. Sometimes men get a girl-girl for themselves, not in order to pamper and bring out, but in order to fashion an obedient housewife out of her.

2. Mystery

All men like a little mystery in a girl. But do not go too far, secrets in large doses threaten relationships with a fatal overdose. Simply put, you need to be moderately unpredictable and disclose information about yourself gradually. But try not to make your understatements look like you don't trust your boyfriend - men don't like that.

3. Sexy

You can't beat your instincts, that's a fact. Sexuality attracts attention at 99 cases out of 100, but does not guarantee happiness in personal life and successful marriage. Not every man wants a serious relationship with a girl who looks like a red rag to the bull of the entire male population 24 hours a day. It is better to inspire your chosen one with a “strawberry” when you are alone. Then he won't run away.

4. Poor Liza

Many men are attracted by chastity, naivete, shyness. Especially these days, when you can't find a girl like that during the day with fire. So do not be ashamed if you are such an artifact. An adequate smart man will always appreciate the decency and inexperience of a girl with whom he wants to build a long-term relationship. It will be more pleasant for him to teach you everything than to meet the one who already knows everything herself and has survived three gonorrheas by that time.

5. Bond girl

Yes, give every first man Lara Croft, they don't hide it. But do not rush to go so far, demonstrating your unfeminine qualities. A man will be alerted if you have a black belt in karate or, God forgive me, sumo. But something very simple, like fixing a faucet yourself, is a good way to get admired. If you love climbing mountains, rescuing cats from trees, or doing some kind of sport, then it's worth demonstrating it. Men are turned on by activity, and not by a passive creature that changes statuses in social networks for days.

6. Bad girl

Sometimes you want to spank her. But don't confuse "spank" with "fuck it." Depravity is good in bed, in everyday life it is better not to demonstrate it. That is, you don’t need to fall home drunk at three in the morning from a bar, swear in front of his mother and kick the neighbor’s cat.

7. I myself

Men are attracted by a kind of “Miss Independence” who can solve her own problems and can't stand the brain. But over time, any representative of the stronger sex begins to wonder if a woman needs him if she can do it herself perfectly. Therefore, at least sometimes, at least pretend, pretend that you need his help. Let him feel irreplaceable.

8. Second mother

First, a man wants to get away from under his mother's wing and feel free. When this happens, he realizes that now he needs someone to do his laundry and cook for him.


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