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Loving someone with depression and anxiety


SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

  • Suggested Resources

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    It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
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    After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
    Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.

    Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
    Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.

    For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs

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Misusing alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can have both immediate and long-term health effects.

The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. NSDUH estimates allow researchers, clinicians, policymakers, and the general public to better understand and improve the nation’s behavioral health. These reports and detailed tables present estimates from the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).

Alcohol

Data:

  • Among the 133.1 million current alcohol users aged 12 or older in 2021, 60.0 million people (or 45.1%) were past month binge drinkers. The percentage of people who were past month binge drinkers was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (29.2% or 9.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (22.4% or 49.3 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (3.8% or 995,000 people). (2021 NSDUH)
  • Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 15.1% (or 5.9 million people) were past month alcohol users. Estimates of binge alcohol use and heavy alcohol use in the past month among underage people were 8.3% (or 3.2 million people) and 1.6% (or 613,000 people), respectively. (2021 NSDUH)
  • In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (i.e., current alcohol users) (2020 NSDUH)
  • Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44.4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)
  • The percentage of people who were past month binge alcohol users was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (31. 4%) compared with 22.9% of adults aged 26 or older and 4.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
  • Excessive alcohol use can increase a person’s risk of stroke, liver cirrhosis, alcoholic hepatitis, cancer, and other serious health conditions
  • Excessive alcohol use can also lead to risk-taking behavior, including driving while impaired. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver daily

Programs/Initiatives:

  • STOP Underage Drinking interagency portal - Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
  • Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
  • Talk. They Hear You.
  • Underage Drinking: Myths vs. Facts
  • Talking with your College-Bound Young Adult About Alcohol

Relevant links:

  • National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors
  • Department of Transportation Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy & Compliance
  • Alcohol Policy Information Systems Database (APIS)
  • National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

Tobacco

Data:

  • In 2020, 20. 7% of people aged 12 or older (or 57.3 million people) used nicotine products (i.e., used tobacco products or vaped nicotine) in the past month (2020 NSDUH)
  • Among past month users of nicotine products, nearly two thirds of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (63.1%) vaped nicotine but did not use tobacco products. In contrast, 88.9% of past month nicotine product users aged 26 or older used only tobacco products (2020 NSDUH)
  • Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death, often leading to lung cancer, respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, and other serious illnesses. The CDC reports that cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States
  • The CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health reports that more than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking cigarettes

Electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) use data:

  • In 2021, 13.2 million people aged 12 or older (or 4.7%) used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. The percentage of people who vaped nicotine was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (14.1% or 4.7 million people), followed by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (5.2% or 1.4 million people), then by adults aged 26 or older (3.2% or 7.1 million people).
  • Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 11.0% (or 4.3 million people) used tobacco products or used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. Among people in this age group, 8.1% (or 3.1 million people) vaped nicotine, 5.4% (or 2.1 million people) used tobacco products, and 3.4% (or 1.3 million people) smoked cigarettes in the past month. (2021 NSDUH)
  • Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2020 National Youth Tobacco Survey. Among both middle and high school students, current use of e-cigarettes declined from 2019 to 2020, reversing previous trends and returning current e-cigarette use to levels similar to those observed in 2018
  • E-cigarettes are not safe for youth, young adults, or pregnant women, especially because they contain nicotine and other chemicals

Resources:

  • Tips for Teens: Tobacco
  • Tips for Teens: E-cigarettes
  • Implementing Tobacco Cessation Programs in Substance Use Disorder Treatment Settings
  • Synar Amendment Program

Links:

  • Truth Initiative
  • FDA Center for Tobacco Products
  • CDC Office on Smoking and Health
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Tobacco, Nicotine, and E-Cigarettes
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: E-Cigarettes

Opioids

Data:

  • Among people aged 12 or older in 2021, 3. 3% (or 9.2 million people) misused opioids (heroin or prescription pain relievers) in the past year. Among the 9.2 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 8.7 million people misused prescription pain relievers compared with 1.1 million people who used heroin. These numbers include 574,000 people who both misused prescription pain relievers and used heroin in the past year. (2021 NSDUH)
  • Among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 3.4% (or 9.5 million people) misused opioids in the past year. Among the 9.5 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 9.3 million people misused prescription pain relievers and 902,000 people used heroin (2020 NSDUH)
  • According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Understanding the Epidemic, an average of 128 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose

Resources:

  • Medication-Assisted Treatment
  • Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit
  • TIP 63: Medications for Opioid Use Disorder
  • Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Opioid Use Disorder in Criminal Justice Settings
  • Opioid Use Disorder and Pregnancy
  • Clinical Guidance for Treating Pregnant and Parenting Women With Opioid Use Disorder and Their Infants
  • The Facts about Buprenorphine for Treatment of Opioid Addiction
  • Pregnancy Planning for Women Being Treated for Opioid Use Disorder
  • Tips for Teens: Opioids
  • Rural Opioid Technical Assistance Grants
  • Tribal Opioid Response Grants
  • Provider’s Clinical Support System - Medication Assisted Treatment Grant Program

Links:

  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Opioids
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Heroin
  • HHS Prevent Opioid Abuse
  • Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America
  • Addiction Technology Transfer Center (ATTC) Network
  • Prevention Technology Transfer Center (PTTC) Network

Marijuana

Data:

  • In 2021, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug, with 18. 7% of people aged 12 or older (or 52.5 million people) using it in the past year. The percentage was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (35.4% or 11.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (17.2% or 37.9 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (10.5% or 2.7 million people).
  • The percentage of people who used marijuana in the past year was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (34.5%) compared with 16.3% of adults aged 26 or older and 10.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
  • Marijuana can impair judgment and distort perception in the short term and can lead to memory impairment in the long term
  • Marijuana can have significant health effects on youth and pregnant women.

Resources:

  • Know the Risks of Marijuana
  • Marijuana and Pregnancy
  • Tips for Teens: Marijuana

Relevant links:

  • National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana
  • Addiction Technology Transfer Centers on Marijuana
  • CDC Marijuana and Public Health

Emerging Trends in Substance Misuse:

  • Methamphetamine—In 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year. Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia.
  • Cocaine—In 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
  • Kratom—In 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors. It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.

Resources:

  • Tips for Teens: Methamphetamine
  • Tips for Teens: Cocaine
  • National Institute on Drug Abuse

More SAMHSA publications on substance use prevention and treatment.

Last Updated: 01/05/2023

Psychologist on how not to quarrel with relatives and not fall into depression because of politics

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Over the past couple of weeks, there were no people indifferent to politics. Each of us reads world news, worries about the special operation in Ukraine, worries about ourselves, the country and loved ones. Is it possible to continue to do work and live as before during such times?

March 13, 2022 09:0021 817

Sometimes it’s impossible to cope with stress and anxiety on your own

The events now unfolding around us are called historical, shocking, unexpected, extraordinary. Scrolling through the tape, it is impossible not to dwell on the bad. The information flow unsettles, interferes with work, eating, sleeping. Excitement covers with a head, so that the level of cortisol in the blood rolls over. Every evening we ask ourselves questions about the future, and in the morning we wake up afraid to turn on the Internet on our phone - all because of the same news.

The special operation in Ukraine as such, the sanctions, the growth of the exchange rate - there are a lot of reasons for alarm. How to maintain at least relative calm when the familiar world is collapsing? What to do, let's ask the famous Gestalt therapist and psychologist of the sixth season of the project "Tomboys" Lyubov Rozenberg. nine0005

Instructions for everyone

Feeling carried away by a wave of negative information is normal

It would not be a mistake to say that people now experience a wide range of feelings: from anxiety for their own safety and maintaining the same standard of living to fear of the unknown, aggression and despair. How can we "live" these emotions and maintain mental health? Turn on the “silence” mode and not read the news, choose a couple of reliable channels and check them at certain intervals, allow yourself to cry, scream, read the agenda all day long? nine0005

“It's no secret that people differ in the degree of resistance to stress and the ability to accumulate, express or live anxiety,” said Lyubov Anatolyevna. - But in addition to individual characteristics, there is a background level of stress, under which everyone falls without exception. Now he is at the top. The very atmosphere at work, in a store, at home, in a city, in a country, is excited to the limit, and it is extremely difficult for us to keep calm. Now add here the background of aggression and confusion in most countries of the world and multiply by the fear experienced by the people living in them. It turns out a sad picture, where almost the entire globe is maximally electrified and any contact with it threatens with an electric shock. It is impossible to get rid of this even if you turn off all news channels or go into the taiga.” nine0005

What should be done in a state of instability and disorganization? Of course, to stabilize and be as organized as possible. Lubov Rosenberg clearly outlined the steps that can help us in this.

Our Expert Suggests Five Steps to Get Your Nerves Back in Order

  1. Accept it as it is. Feel powerless in it. By posting and commenting on social networks, people are trying to cope with their own anxiety and impotence. They are trying to give up / into society the fear that overwhelms them, because they cannot cope with it. In this way, people relieve their accumulated stress for a short time and find support among the same people. nine0006
  2. Concentrate as much as possible on yourself in the “here and now”. Stocking up for life is impossible, planning for the future is useless. It is important to find support, first of all, in yourself, in your environment, in routine and simple work.
  3. Stop giving energy that feeds on aggression. Compassion equally for all who have fallen under this pitiless wheel of tragedy.
  4. Be kind to those who are now in a state of anger and hatred. Do not be offended by relatives and friends who pour curses on our people and country. They have a hard time thinking rationally. Their collective mind is filled with fear and despair. nine0006
  5. Do not be left alone with your thoughts, look for ways to communicate with society in a positive way. Go to concerts, read philosophical books, study political economy and the basics of geopolitics. It really helps to have an objective view of what is happening and stabilize the psyche.

Insomnia and panic attacks

Do not read the news two hours before lights out, otherwise you risk not falling asleep

What to do if anxiety takes over completely and interferes with work, personal relationships, sleep? Should I take sedatives and when to see a doctor? Or maybe exercise / sports / meditation / just communication with loved ones will have a beneficial effect? nine0005

“If you can't sleep, then you need to remember that watching any news and discussing it must be completed two hours before lights out. Before going to bed it is better - meditative music, reading, warm milk and a cozy atmosphere at home. If this is not possible or does not help, then use panic attack techniques. You need to get yourself back as much as possible.

  1. Focus on your breath. Take a few deep breaths through your nose into your belly and slowly exhale through the gap between your lips until you feel your heartbeat slow down. Drive away all thoughts except concentration on the breath. nine0006
  2. Get your body feeling back. Assign one by one through touch the head, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, etc. to the tips of your toes. Repeat: "These are my arms, these are my shoulders..."
  3. Find supports around you - a bed, a comfortable pillow, a warm blanket, walls, a loved one nearby. Allow yourself to surrender to calmness and comfort, curl up for a short time in the fetal position and allow you to fall asleep, saying that experiences can be in the morning and you need strength for this.

Try to keep yourself busy during the day. Work, sports, walks, favorite hobby. Add activities that require fine motor skills. Learn new recipes, knit socks, put together puzzles and so on. Create an island of calm in yourself and around you. By doing this, you will help not only yourself, but also the world. This is how we can cope all together and break the veil of anxiety hanging over us, ”our expert is sure.

Follow the plans

The media wrote that Sobchak went to Turkey, but later she was noticed at Ben Gurion Airport

Lyudmila Porgina flew to Turkey on February 25: on the date of her mother's death and on the eve of Nikolai Karachentsov's accident, she usually travels to holy places, and, according to her, did not change traditions this time either. Ksenia Sobchak, who was recently noticed at the Israeli airport, also announced the planned vacation.

“I am flying, not flying away. Now the child has a vacation at school, and we are flying on a vacation that has long been planned (promises - even for a child - must be kept). So I follow my own advice - do not panic. I am Russian, I am a citizen of Russia, I am not emigrating anywhere, I have no other citizenships, dead ends and yachts, ”the presenter explained on social networks. nine0005

Is it a good idea to fly on vacation in a difficult time for the country, when everyone is overwhelmed by worries about their own future and the state? “It is very correct to follow the planned plans as much as possible. It's not about "distraction", it's about stabilization. I welcome the actions of Ksenia Sobchak, who preferred the interests of her son and did not violate her plans. Lyudmila Porgina generally performs a double task, making a pilgrimage to holy places. I am sure that her prayers will be for the peace and well-being of all people on Earth. Understand that from the fact that we all hide in our apartments in fear and anxiety and forbid ourselves to live a full life, we will only make things worse for ourselves and will not bring any benefit to society, ”the gestalt therapist emphasized. nine0005

Between helplessness and perspective

Lyubov Rosenberg urges not to focus on the bad

The feeling of helplessness stands apart, because there is a feeling that a lot is happening now regardless of our existence and opinion. Is it worth it to let go of the situation and convince ourselves that there are things that are beyond our control?

“Golden words! Powerlessness is part of our strength. Yes, we are not omnipotent. And if I know for sure that this issue is beyond my competence, is there any need to worry about this? Acceptance and understanding. Compassion and Faith. That’s what’s important now, ”concluded the psychologist. nine0005

Many stores are closing due to sanctions: H&M, Uniqlo, Zara. There is a possibility that hundreds of people will lose their jobs. How to pull yourself together in this situation, immediately look for a new job or take a break to digest what happened, if there is such an opportunity?

Uniqlo's management assured that they would not curtail sales in Russia due to sanctions, but in the end they changed their mind: the stores will close on March 21

“The loss of one always means the emergence of new opportunities. Reality is changing and staying in the old paradigm, expecting a return is not worth it. Consider this situation as a forced exit from your comfort zone. Take a short break to assimilate the experience and find yourself in a new reality. Perhaps it is worth remembering the old, unfulfilled dreams, go to study for someone else? The loss of a job, position, does not mean the loss of skills and competencies acquired over the years of work. Build on it! Seek and be sure to find! - advises Lyubov Anatolyevna. nine0005

Given the political aspect of what is happening, it may turn out that your opinion fundamentally does not coincide with the position of relatives/friends. Ignore the "debate" with loved ones or try to get your point across? After all, a dispute can end badly for a relationship.

“No disputes or attempts to convince close people should be made now. Make it a family rule not to discuss these matters at home. There are enough places where you can express your point of view and hone your debating skills. In such a stressful period, it is the family that should become a bulwark of peace and harmony, that island of calm where you want to return and warm up next to the children over a delicious dinner and unhurried conversations about something familiar and simple, ”summed up our expert. nine0005

Photo: personal archive, Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia).com, Getty Images, Legion-Media

Text author: Alexandra Vlasova

Selection of books for depression - Eksmo

Subject: Psychology and self-development

We collected good publications of authors who give valuable advice, share the experience of real people and tell psychological tales to our inner child.
Books are an effective way to fight depression, a stream of negativity and complete demotivation, because they are not connected to the Internet, which means there will be no temptation to check the news again, read statements on social networks and spoil your mood even more. nine0005

E-book Audiobook The Last Thing He Told Me

Laura Dave

Hannah starts her own investigation and learns that Owen changed his name ten years ago to escape mortal danger. Gradually, Hannah and Bailey develop a relationship that they did not have from the very beginning, because only the two of them will be able to find out who the ideal husband and father really was.

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E-book Audiobook The girl who learned to fly. Spiritual fairy tales for the inner child

Yulia Dyakova

Get rid of fears. Find a worthy partner. Stop feeling guilty. Learn to see happiness in the little things. We sincerely wish this for others, but we forget about what we ourselves need. The ability to overcome fears, enjoy an ordinary day, appreciate and thank those with whom we really feel good and warm - each of us has weaknesses that want to be paid attention to. Yulia Dyakova, a psychologist, trainer and body-oriented therapist, wrote fairy tales that are designed to help our inner children: forget about prohibitions and rules, listen to your intuition and allow yourself to get rid of childhood traumas - practical tasks inside fairy tales will help you with this . Everyone will find themselves in these stories - they will push you to become sincere with yourself and love yourself truly. nine0005

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E-book Audiobook Restless Brain. Useful guide to reduce anxiety and stress. How to deal with depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD, OCD and ADHD.

Uma Naidu

When choosing foods, most people think about their usefulness, which affects aging, the development of heart disease or weight loss. But almost no one knows that our diet affects not only changes in the body. but also on the brain! Uma Naidu reveals many secrets, in each chapter talking about the harmful and beneficial elements of everyday products that aggravate our psycho-emotional state. nine0005

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E-book Audiobook Art of caring for the soul. 100 Insights from a Zen Monk on Stress-Free Living

Shunmio Masuno

Thanks to the advice of Shunmio Masuno, the abbot of a 450-year-old Zen temple in Japan, you will be able to stay in harmony with yourself and the world in the most difficult moments in life.

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E-book Audiobook 25 grams of happiness. The story of a little hedgehog that changed a person's life

Massimo Vacchetta, Antonella Tomaselli

A unique and touching story about how saving an animal radically changed the life of one person. Once Massimo Vacchetta saved the hedgehog Ninna: she was taken to the clinic, she weighed only 25 grams and was absolutely helpless. Just at that moment, the man was in a depressed mood due to difficulties in life. After this story, he decided that he would devote his life to saving hedgehogs, so he created "La Ninna". nine0005

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PloGood. Inspiring stories that turn a black stripe into a take-off

Olga Savelyeva

What is a crisis? This is a turning point, a sharp turn. This word has no negative meaning, we endowed it with it ourselves. But the turning point is always hope, new opportunities and dreams. So how do you choose the right "turn"? How to find the strength not to cling to the collapsed past and boldly look into the future? And, in the end, how to live through any difficulties so that they become a starting point in a new, better life? Olga Savelieva has collected a lot of ideas on what to do in a crisis. Each of the stories in this book is called a verb and therefore cannot but encourage action: dream, love, seek! What verb do you start with? nine0005

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Audiobook Electronic Book choosing life

Lilia Koch

includes more than twenty stories about healing, each of which is based real history. The collection is called "Choosing Life" because, according to the author, we are constantly faced with this choice. Life is a path where each step is directed in a certain direction: life or death, love or hate, prosperity or decline. Lilia Koch is a certified psychologist, author of the book "100 Days Between Life and Death" and the transformational game "Phoenix-Renaissance". nine0005

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E-book Audiobook Fall in love with life. How to learn to live again when you are almost destroyed by depression

Matt Haig

At the age of 24, I almost killed myself. At that time I lived in Ibiza, in a very beautiful villa on the quiet coast of the island. There was a rock very close to the villa. Depressed, I walked to the edge of the cliff and looked out to sea. I tried to find the courage to jump down. I didn't find her. Three more years of depression followed. Panic, despair, daily painful attempt to go to the nearest store and not faint at the same time. But I survived. I am over 40 years old. Once upon a time, I was almost certain that I would not live to see 30. But here I am. Surrounded by loved ones. nine0101 Author Matt Haig, a British journalist and writer, talks about his personal experience of life and dealing with depression, gives recommendations and a list of reasons that helped him not to commit suicide and live on. And also, teach healthy people to behave correctly with those who have depression.

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E-book Little victories. How to Feel Happy Every Day

Anne Lamott

This book is an amazing collection of real life stories of hope and joy, love and forgiveness, loss and gain. It will be especially useful to those who are faced with losses, pain, loneliness, misunderstanding. Each chapter is a mini-essay about the author's personal experience and the lessons that life teaches her.

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