Living inside my head

The Dangers Of Living Inside Your Head - And How To Get Out

How often do you listen to that little voice inside your head?

You know the one – that little narrator that talks to you all day long?

You can probably actually hear it right now if you stop and listen for a second…

It tells you that you’re being too ridiculous, or dramatic, or picky, or too sensitive, or not sensitive enough… the voice that has an opinion on absolutely everything?

That voice can be great at times, it can even be a life saver!

But it can also be toxic.

When you live inside your head too much, you start to believe your own bullsh*t.

You really are your own worst critic. And the danger is, sometimes you can start to honestly believe what you are thinking is true.

Sometimes you don’t realise just how much you are living inside your head.

I know this because I’ve been there…

Many years ago I convinced myself at a young age that because my Dad left my Mum that meant that any partner I would ever have would end up leaving me… Seriously…

Sounds silly right? But somehow my mind made it real.

I would actually end up jeopardising my relationships because I didn’t want them to leave me – so I left them first.

How stupid is that?!

But in my mind it was the truth.

It wasn’t until I ventured outside of my head and spoke to someone about it, actually opened up and sought another opinion, that I realised what I had been doing to myself for so many years.

I realised just how powerful my thoughts were.

So now I must ask you a question – “how positive is your relationship with the voice inside your head?”

Because we all have one – good or bad.

But what you need to pay attention to is how influential your inner voice is to you.

How does it influence your decisions?

Are you able to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s simply your inner-critic’s opinion?

When life gets you down, are you able to turn that negative voice inside your head into something positive?

Having lived with breathing problems and panic attacks over the last few years, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt – it’s that I have to deal with any frustration, anxiety, or bad feelings as they come, so they don’t start to fester and eat away at me slowly from the inside.

The longer I worry or dwell on any bad thoughts, the worse they seem to get.

So for a long time I wasn’t able to control the tone of the voice inside my head and I let it knock me around a lot.

“You can’t do this… they don’t like you… why would you even try you’re just going to fail…?”

Thoughts like this would constantly drift around inside my head until I truly started to believe them.

That’s the dangerous part… you start to believe your thoughts are real and not just mere thoughts, they become something they’re not – facts.

And once I started believing these negative ‘facts’ I would often go quiet (on the outside).

I wouldn’t share what was going on inside my mind with anyone because I genuinely thought that no one would want to hear it.

But please don’t let your mind do this to you.

I promise you, you can take back control of your thoughts and turn that voice inside your head into a positive influence.

It just takes a bit of practice, patience and self-control.

Any time I notice that the voice in my head is playing tricks on me again… I do the following:

Get it out
One of the reasons I write these blogs is to help others, but it turns out it also helps me by writing things down and getting thoughts out of my head.
Writing really is therapeutic.
If I’m really angry with someone but don’t know if I want to confront them about it, I’ll write them a letter with everything I want to say and then later decide if I still want to say it. At least then it is outside of my head. I’m the kind of person who lives in my head a lot, and often find that once I write down how I’m feeling, or what I’m thinking, it is never as bad as I thought.

Find something that makes you happy
I absolutely love music and you can often tell what kind of mood I’m in by what I’m listening to.
I’ve created a ‘happy’ playlist, and an ‘inspiring’ playlist to help pick me up when I’m not feeling the best.
I also love animals, so just being around them can instantly make me smile.

Replace any bad thoughts in your head with positive ones
I have to actually boss my brain sometimes – tell myself that I am in control of what goes on inside my head.
Don’t even approach bad thoughts.
Don’t try to rationalise them.
Don’t even think about them.
And definitely don’t dwell on them.
Any of the above is a passive reaction to the negative thought, hence making you feel the negative feelings that follow, which doesn’t help at all. So replace the bad thought on the spot.

Surround yourself with good people
Spending time with good friends or family who cheer me up is one of my favourite things to do when I’m upset.
I’m the kind of person that will always be there whenever someone needs to vent, and having people that will do the same for me in my life is truly one of the things I am most thankful for.

Focus on what you want in your life
What do you really want to achieve in your life?
I want to be successful.
I want the world to be better because I was here.
I want to make a difference in people’s lives.
When I think about what really drives me and what I’ve been put on this earth to do, I get really motivated and all the other stuff seems to become irrelevant.

At the end of the day, everyone has stuff to deal with.

We all have times when life gets difficult and we don’t understand why.

But when this happens, just breathe and remember it’s not the end of the world.

Your thoughts are not in control of you – you control them.

‘You are not your thoughts – you are the awareness behind them.’

Just remember that everything in this life is temporary (both the good and the bad) so the bad times won’t last forever and who knows what amazing opportunities lie ahead for you in your life.

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If you would like to learn more about the online workshops we offer for reducing stress, improving relationships and learning to communicate with others in a way that people respond positively to, then click here.

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Living in Your Head Too Much? 4 Causes and Solutions

Source: christels/Pixabay

Do you obsess and worry all the time? Struggle to make even small decisions? Are you self-critical? Feel easily distracted and unable to focus?

Too many of us live in our heads all that time. The fact that our mind is constantly producing thoughts isn't necessarily the problem—this is what our minds do. The problem arises when we feel we have no control, when our minds are like a runaway horse that we barely hold on to; we often only go where the horse takes us.

Anxiety is the driver here. But while for some, anxiety is a felt physical experience—heart palpitations, stomach-churning—for many of us, it is about that swirling mind. Like the somatic symptoms, the effects can come in several forms. Here are the most common ones:

You're constantly worrying

This is generalized anxiety where you constantly live in a future of "what if. " Your brain is always looking ahead, looking around corners, going down rabbit holes of worst-case scenarios. You are hyperalert, a childhood coping skill that continues to operate even though you are no longer a child.

You struggle to make decisions

Anxiety obliterates priorities and perspectives. Everything feels important; every decision becomes a big decision—what to have for lunch carries the same weight as whether or not to take that job or have a baby; it's no wonder that you are constantly feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes the underlying driver is simply the fear of making a "mistake"—that you'll order that sandwich, it will taste awful, and you will scold yourself the rest of the day. Or the driver may be upsetting others—good decisions require that everyone be happy—a tall order.

You are perfectionistic

Here your anxious brain is doing its best to come to the rescue. If you don't want to worry about making mistakes or getting others upset, you need to work harder to be more perfect, be more careful, and be more planful. No wiggle room here.

You are controlling

Here you keep what-ifs at bay by rigid control. You know what you are doing on Tuesday because you always do the same thing on Tuesday, so there is nothing to worry about. If those close to you do something that threatens to throw off what you have planned, your default is to get them to do what you think they should do; what to you just "makes sense." Their problem is that they feel pressured, bullied, or controlled.

The way out

When anxiety is running is the show, the way out is a two-step process: awareness and getting into your gut.

Worrying

Time to get your rational brain back online. This means you're pulling on the horse's reins and controlling it rather than holding on as it runs. To do this, slow down and focus on the present: Is there a real problem, not the possible what-ifs, that you need to fix right now? If yes, take decisive action to correct the problem. If not, the problem is slowing the horse. Focus on calming your brain through exercise, deep breathing, meditation, and talking to a friend.

Decisions

If your anxious brain tells you everything is important, you need to step back and let your rational brain set your own priorities. Lunch is not in the same category as a job or baby. Experiment with treating the lunch for what it is—a minor decision that demands minor energy. But to help you do this, also activate your gut—use those gut reactions as vital information to counter the worry and shoulds in your head.

So if you're dying to have pizza, get it now. Take it up a notch and step back and ask yourself if you really enjoy your job? Do you want to have a baby?

Perfectionistic

This is about tolerating making mistakes. You need to reset priorities and find out that the "mistakes" are not the end of the world despite what your anxious brain is telling you. But you'll only find this out by actually doing it. Take the baby-step risk of being less perfect to find out that no one, besides you, cares.

Control

Awareness kicks in here—that you realize you are controlling yourself and others. Good for you. Next, you want to redefine control as anxiety. When you feel the need for control, rather than focusing on getting others to do what you want them to do, ask yourself: What are you worried about? Is it a rational or irrational problem? If rational, act independently. Finally, challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone by experimenting with giving up control by letting situations simply unfold or by letting others be in charge. Here you will feel the full effects of your anxiety, but push through to the other side and find out that it turned out not exactly as you wanted, but good enough.

The goals here are to be aware of irrational, anxiety-driven behaviors—the control, fear of making mistakes—and rewiring your brain by listening to your gut, surfing through your anxiety to ultimately become more flexible.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

No bone movies—Ozzy Osbourne

No bone movies

"No!"

Silver screen, such a disgrace
I couldn't look her straight in the face
A blue addiction I live in disgust
Degradation, being eaten by lust

No bone movies
No bone movies
No bone movies

7 Inspiration that's blue and uncut

Can't kick the habit, obsession of smut
Voyeur straining, in love with his hand
A poison passion, a pulsating gland

No bone movies
No bone movies
No bone movies

I shouldn't do it, the guilt tells me why
I just can't stop it, I try and I try
X-rated demon that lives in my head
Hungry for bodge, and he wants to be fed

No bone movies
No bone movies
No bone movies 9

No, no, no bone movies
No, no, no bone movies
No, no, no bone movies with disgust,
Degradation, devoured by lust

"No!" porn movies
"No!" porn movies
"No!" porn movies

Inspiration, creepy and obscene,
Habit not to quit, obscenity never ends,
Perverted tension in love with your hand,
Killing passion, throbbing vein

"No!" porn movies
"No!" porn movies
"No!" porn movies

I shouldn't do this, guilt torments me
I can't stop no matter how hard I try
Lustful demon living in my head
Hungry for sex ¹ , he wants to get enough

"No!" porn movies
"No!" porn movies
"No!" porn movies

“No, no, no!” porn movies
"No, no, no!" porn movies
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Translated by Max Terebilov
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No Bone Movies Lyrics Rating: 5 / 5 3 opinions

"I made a picture for a hundred million foreigners living in my country" - Editorial - Session 9 Magazine0001

Nikita Mikhalkov talked to Lyubov Arkus about his love for Russia, the dislike of others for himself, and about his painting The Barber of Siberia.

On the set of the film "The Barber of Siberia"

Well... Why do you dislike me so much? Four hundred and twenty articles in two months. What! Four hundred and twenty… Headlines! “Mikhalkov stole the script!”, “Mikhalkov stole the title!”, “Mikhalkov stole ten million!”... It often happens that there are three lines about me in the whole thick newspaper, but they are on the front page.

Nikita Mikhalkov

At first, of course, a shock... And then you think - what is actually happening? What did I do to you guys that made you scream so much? Yes, write, I think you want. For foreigners - not for foreigners, as the director ended - it began, he dreams of an Oscar, of the presidency ... Yes, I wanted to play the emperor. And I wanted it for two reasons. First, I love him. Secondly, I had to think about the safety of the boy with whom Alexander was leaving for the square. Today, very few of the artists of my age can independently, without an understudy, ride with a child on horseback - you must admit that this is so. Gossip and slander are not able to unsettle me. The dirtier you smear, the cleaner you will be. Do you love money? Highly. But I earn them, not steal them. After all, a person needs something ... Good health and a clear conscience, but nothing more.

You have no idea how happy it is when everyone is talking about you and you know it's not true. I know that my thoughts had nothing to do with rational calculation, that this film is not a tool to achieve the set goals... I know how I made the picture, why I did it, why. I know what I had to overcome and at what cost I got it.

But there were not only articles in the "yellow" press about the circumstances surrounding the appearance of the picture. Critics also asked you questions on the merits.

Questions essentially boiled down to the same thing. Why did you cover Red Square with salt and extinguish the Kremlin stars? Why is English spoken in the film? Why was such a budget needed and what was the money spent on? And, finally, the most important thing: why did Mikhalkov invent Russia, which did not exist?

On the set of the film "The Barber of Siberia"

SESSION - 17/18

The last question, perhaps, on the merits. But I could repeat it as a question, not a reproach.

Whether Russia was the way it appears in the film or not, this is Russia the way I love and see it. Remember what Renoir said? The quote is inaccurate, but I vouch for the meaning. He said: the time for sarcasm is over, and the only thing I can bring to our cruel world is my love. And this is said by an eighty-year-old man, on the edge of the grave. The ugliness and abomination of desolation - they cannot help people live. Someone wants to be firmly convinced that everything is just bad, terrible, ugly, disgusting, and pick one hundred and fifty more words from this series. We have disgustingly, godlessly lost the will to live, in general, respect for everything - for the past, for the present, for ourselves ... And then suddenly Russia is full-blooded and beautiful ... And a conversation begins about "cranberries", that Mikhalkov made a picture for foreigners ... Yes, for foreigners. For one hundred million foreigners living in my country. Knowing neither its culture, nor history, nor - most importantly - love for it.

I'm more tired of Burnt by the Sun than I am of The Barber.

Do you know the love for the life that is outside the window? Could you handle it?

Yes. I deal with it.

I mean on the screen. All your films since Rodney are not here and now. You always strive to escape somewhere - now to change time, then space.

And what can be loved from what we see around us? Fuss, meat grinder with wild speeds. Moloch. This Moscow puppet world, a sandbox where everyone rewards each other with something, everyone is wearing butterflies, then they sour, the same faces, the same jokes ... And this, in fact, has nothing to do attitude to the wide, calm, sometimes sad breathing of a huge, huge colossus, which is called Russia. I did not film Russian history, I did not want to lecture anyone - I only tried to ensure that in the rhythm of the picture, in its breath, at least echoes of this rumble, the measured, majestic rumble of the earth, which heaps of rubbish, rubbish and abomination cannot be heard. .. This is a very powerful energy - it feeds my film, and it disarms. You can not love the "Siberian Barber" with your head, but the energy itself is disarming.

On the set of the film "The Barber of Siberia"

I am one of those she really disarmed. However, it seemed to me that, unlike your previous paintings, there seemed to be more energy here than the story itself required. I got the impression that you deliberately forced it - there is a certain super quality in it; hysterical, or something, redundancy.

Maybe. Dear, this is hard to explain. Here you are a climber, you must start climbing. You stand at the bottom with your head up, and the top is somewhere, you can’t even see it, you can’t even understand how to get there with your mind. Here, below, it is warm, flowers grow, these very ... sheep ... graze. And there is fog and it is not known what. And the longer you stand and think, the more horror will seize you. And it’s all the more true that you will say: maybe let’s do it tomorrow? Van, let's go tomorrow. .. Let's go, ferment, spend the night, in the morning everyone gathered, well, we'll sit for another fifteen minutes... no. The one who walks will master the road. But for this walker, for me in this case, well, everything, everything that is possible - was across and contrary. Across and contrary. There are no objective prerequisites for reaching the top - everything is overcoming. So when they ask me - what did you think? about what? - Yes, I didn’t think about anything. I'm stupid, simple. Here we could with Adabashyan, having filmed the “Mechanical Piano”, develop this gold mine to infinity. After all, we already understood, felt how it is done with Chekhov. You could: oops! And we went further and there. One film, another, a third. But no. When you jumped all the time to a certain height, you got used to taking it, and then announced the one that you hadn’t jumped before ... Remember pole vaulting - a person runs, runs, pushes off, flies - and suddenly between him, his body, and this bar is in-o-from such a stock. It's absolutely the same here. For the first time in my life I shot at Panavision . This is a widescreen movie: the extinguished Kremlin stars and tons of salt in a snowless winter are not a whim of a tyrant and a megalomaniac, as journalists would like to think, but simply a production necessity. For the first time in my life I worked with Dolby stereo surround , when rewriting occurs right during shooting - a completely different responsibility. I'm only talking about technical things. And if, among other things, you have to intrigue, appease, force, extract and achieve, if involuntarily your circle of friends is from the prime minister to a sparrow trainer... You condense incredibly energetically, accelerate with a margin, just in case, in order to take this height .

Now the picture is balanced, now it cannot be touched.

And after that comes fatigue or a new round?

New coil. I have, at least. I'm more tired of "Burnt by the Sun" than of "The Barber". "Burnt by the Sun" exhausted me - both because there was work with Nadia, and because the final scene turned out to be simply unthinkably difficult in terms of physical, mental costs. And all this also coincided with the shooting of the White House... In general, there was something terrible. And from this picture, only the feeling of flight remained. With all the severity, with all the overcomings ... But I understood that if, God forbid, the viewer feels how much work it cost us, if our efforts are tangible - that's it, the picture is lost. To make her fly - that was my task.

On the set of the film "The Barber of Siberia"

A very big artist comes to you, who has never asked anything from anyone, invited to this role ten years ago, and says: "I'm ready to take risks."

Old songs about the "special path" - "The Barber of Siberia" at the box office

She flies. When I realized that the plot was coming to an end, I was extremely surprised: it seemed to me that the picture had just begun . ..

... and this is fundamentally important ...

... but when it ended, there was confusion. There is an obvious and inexplicable compositional disproportion. Some lines are abruptly cut off, others are drawn too diligently, the film either lapses into patter, or is unnecessarily wordy. It is clear that episodes with Marina Neelova, Vanguard Leontiev, Daniel Olbrychsky fell out during editing. Some of these cliffs cause, in general, annoyance. After all, I read the script - there was a novel breath, a whimsical pattern of main and secondary lines, they branched, intersected, scattered in different directions, called to life more and more new characters ...

Yes. Yes. Correctly. Rustam Ibragimbekov and I, writing this story, bathed in it, rejoiced at every delicious episode. And it imperceptibly grew, grew... I understood what it was when I started editing. Imagine you are painting the dome of the Trinity Cathedral somewhere in Kostroma. You stand high on the scaffolding and draw out the ear like this with a brush. Write out, write out ... Here it is. You go down, look... And the ear is bigger than the head. What - climb back, cover everything up? This is a fresco, we mounted it for a year. Made up the plot. So much has been cut out of the picture... God willing, I will make an author's version - and it will run for four and a half hours. You have to look at it like reading a book - slowly, with a buzz, submitting, even surrendering to its flow. Now the picture is balanced, now it cannot be touched. We tried to shorten it by seventeen minutes - everything fell apart at once. Fell apart like the Titanic...

To be honest, the non-compositional distortion seems to me the main design error. There is one circumstance that makes flying very difficult...

Menshikov? Yes, in one scene, his close-up is unimportant...

I'm not talking about the face or makeup. He is an outstanding actor, and even age would not be a hindrance. But in terms of energy - unfortunately, he is even older than his years.

You are partly right. But only in part.

On the set of the film "The Barber of Siberia"

The story about the cadets is very sensual, it is about the puppy delight of life, about that brief moment of joy, love for each other, inexplicable happiness. These boys weren't like that six months ago and never will be like that again... Why didn't you shoot Temu as Tolstoy?

Well, I got scared.

When I watch a movie in the hall today, I feel like Armstrong, who looked at the moon and was horrified: oh my, did we really do it?

Were you afraid that he would not pull through, or was a star in the lead role an indispensable condition?

Neither. Lyuba, how can I tell you... The cruel logic of creativity required exactly what you are talking about. But there are things that ... A very big artist comes to you, who has never asked anything from anyone, invited to this role ten years ago, and says: "I'm ready for the risk. " Playing a hero twenty years younger than you is a monstrous risk. Oleg goes for it, and his step suggests my ability to appreciate this and comply with it - to take an equally risky step. And I do it.

On the set of the film "The Barber of Siberia"

Old songs about the "special path" - "The Barber of Siberia" at the box office

If you had the opportunity to start work over again now, would you do many things differently?

I don't know... I don't know if I would do it at all. When I watch a movie in the hall today, I feel like Armstrong, who looked at the moon and was horrified: oh my, did we really do it? How was it possible? But I always believed that one should finish what one started, one should achieve the goal. It is precisely this property of mine that causes such a strong negative reaction.

And miracles are possible. Is it possible to raise the painting "The Barber of Siberia" in a ruined country?

I think that in most cases a negative reaction occurs when you transfer such an attitude towards goals from the artistic to the non-artistic. In particular, I am referring to the February events with the appointment of a new minister.

New wine is not poured into old wineskins. If all this time Golutva had been not the first deputy, but the director of Lenfilm, or anyone ... Even without knowing him, I would have believed Sokurov, German, you, other people with whom he worked - and I would not have had any objections. But the fact of the matter is that, having worked for Goskino for two years, he already belongs to that hopelessly outdated system in which not a single decisive action was taken to change the state of affairs in cinematography. If all these two years he thought differently, then he thought one thing, and voted for another.

On the set of the film "The Barber of Siberia"

I have a somewhat different attitude towards the period when Armen Nikolaevich Medvedev headed the State Film Agency. But even at that time, you could be convinced that Golutva did not join what he did not agree with - remember last year's secretariat, when he first expressed his disagreement with the idea of the Fund.

There is a real context. Alexander Alekseevich Golutva — a perfect hostage of an absolutely hopeless situation. It is hopeless, because he continues to exist in that coordinate system from which there is no way out. The coordinate system is very simple. State, give us the money that you gave us before. The state says: I won't. Give me at least half. - I'm not giving it. Give me a quarter. - I'm not giving it. All. Last year they were funded by thirty percent, this year even less. What's next? Golutva will quarrel with those whom we call cinema generals: everyone will ask for money, demand money... He is forced to complete the production of films, which is incredibly difficult, and in many cases absolutely unnecessary... That is, he will be engaged in meaningless business. Here in this office, at this place, I told him: “Alexander Alekseevich, I will support you in any situation, I have great sympathy for you, we have never worked with you, but I heard only the most flattering reviews about you. Do not sit in the ministerial chair. Let's put anyone in it - let's put Vereshchagin, well, anyone! Remain the first deputy and take as the most important thing in the life of your cinematography - the creation of the Fund. Yes it is hard. But it needs to be done. There is no other way. If we do not receive royalties from every blank cassette, from every video carrier, then we will not be able to exist as an industry. There lies from thirty to forty million a year. They are there - take them." To say "impossible" is to say nothing. Nothing is impossible, Luba. The laws do not allow, which means they need to be redone. Peck, use my authority and acquaintances, force me to walk - and I will walk. And if "impossible" is his last word, then I want to ask him: what do you expect next? Well, a person must have some kind of prospects, right? There is no return mechanism, no rental, no budget money. And there is only one answer to the only constructive proposal: "This cannot be done." It is possible to fly to the moon, but it is impossible to do some nonsense - to issue a law that will work. Do you yourself believe that this is impossible? Nothing is impossible. And miracles are possible. Is it possible to raise the painting "The Barber of Siberia" in a ruined country?

That's the point. It seems to me that you are transferring your artistic experience to an area where completely different laws operate. You delegate decision-making to people who are perhaps both smart and competent in their field, but cinema, almost like the East, is a delicate matter - without knowing these subtleties from the inside, you can cause great harm and damage by the most logical and reasonable actions. No one doubts that you can raise any picture in any country - but here we are talking about things in which not you, but he is a professional.

Good. Let him say: "Nikita, this is impossible, forget about the Foundation, I have another idea." And he would prove to me that his idea is better, more fruitful. “Well, of course,” I would say, “what a goat I am, let’s push it!” But he doesn't offer anything in return.

Learn more

Living inside my head

The Dangers Of Living Inside Your Head - And How To Get Out

Living in Your Head Too Much? 4 Causes and Solutions

You're constantly worrying

You struggle to make decisions

You are perfectionistic

You are controlling

The way out

No bone movies—Ozzy Osbourne

No bone movies

"No!"

7 Inspiration that's blue and uncut

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"I made a picture for a hundred million foreigners living in my country" - Editorial - Session 9 Magazine0001