Is narcissism genetic or learned

Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Childhood, Genes, & More

Upbringing and childhood environment may be key factors in what causes NPD, but genetics could play a role, too.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex personality disorder that’s often misunderstood. When you think of NPD, a grandiose sense of self, deep need for admiration, and difficulty empathizing may come to mind.

Someone with NPD can appear charming and self-assured on the surface. While these charismatic traits may look like confidence, they’re often masking insecurities rather than coming from a place of self-esteem.

If you live with NPD, you might be highly sensitive to criticism or have strong reactions to speech or behaviors you see as an insult.

It’s likely that narcissistic personality disorder is caused by several factors, such as environmental circumstances (including the child-parent relationship) and genetics.

You’ve likely heard the phrase “He’s such a narcissist!” thrown around. But where does narcissistic personality disorder factor in?

While most people show behaviors that could be seen as “narcissistic” — like selfishness or entitlement — narcissistic personality disorder is different.

When narcissistic traits disrupt many areas of your life (like your relationships or career), it could mean you meet the criteria for a personality disorder.

In general, NPD consists of patterns that show up in two or more of these areas:

thinking
emotions
interactions with others
impulse control

A clinician may diagnose narcissistic personality disorder if someone has five or more of these signs and symptoms:

feelings of self-importance or superiority
frequent thoughts about being good looking, powerful, or successful
beliefs that they’re separate, special, or above other people
a need to be looked up to by others
feelings of entitlement to special treatment or an expectation that others should cater to what they want
a tendency to take advantage of or exploit others
difficulty empathizing with other people’s needs, desires, or emotions
feelings of envy toward others, or beliefs that other people envy them
behaviors that seem arrogant or proud

In general, there are at least two subtypes of narcissism: grandiose and vulnerable.

Grandiose narcissism is what most people may think of as narcissism. People with grandiose narcissism may be more extraverted, have low levels of neuroticism, and openly express feelings of superiority.
Vulnerable narcissism shares the same basic traits of NPD, but may involve more hidden thoughts and behaviors. Those with vulnerable narcissism tend to have higher levels of neuroticism and need more reassurance.

While they may still feel superiority, people with a vulnerable narcissism subtype tend to be fearful of criticism. In some cases, they may stay away from others as a result.

Environmental factors — such as culture and parenting — could contribute to the development of narcissistic personality disorder.

Some research suggests that narcissism scores were higher in individualistic cultures (which focus more on each person’s rights and goals) compared with collectivistic cultures (which focus more on what’s best for the group).

In the same study, researchers compared narcissistic traits among people who had grown up in former West Germany (an individualistic culture) to those who’d grown up in former East Germany (a more collectivistic culture).

The findings showed that narcissism was higher and self-esteem was lower in those who grew up in West Germany compared to East Germany.

In addition to culture, research suggests that childhood experiences could play an important role in causing NPD.

Negative childhood experiences, like being rejected or criticized by parents, may contribute to NPD in adulthood. At the same time, too much praise from parents could also lead to NPD.

Research suggests there’s a link between different parenting styles and narcissistic traits in adult children.

Still, there’s no “one” parenting behavior that always leads to narcissism.

Instead, combinations of parenting styles and other contributing factors (like genetics) may come together to cause NPD.

In general, these parenting factors are connected to higher levels of narcissism in children:

overprotective, or “helicopter” parenting
lack of warmth
setting few limits or boundaries (leniency)
praise that promotes perfection or unrealistic expectations (overvaluation)
maltreatment or abuse

One study found that overprotection was linked to both vulnerable and grandiose narcissism in young adults. And while too much praise was linked to grandiosity, setting too few boundaries was tied to vulnerable narcissism.

Genetics may also play a role in contributing to narcissistic personality disorder.

In a 2014 study involving 304 pairs of twins, researchers found that some NPD traits were somewhat heritable (aka able to be passed on through genetics):

grandiosity was 23% heritable
entitlement was 35% heritable

Still, these traits seemed to exist independently from each other.

Older research indicates that NPD could be slightly more heritable than other cluster B personality disorders.

Personality traits may also play a role in how NPD presents.

Grandiose narcissism is generally connected to traits like:

a sense of entitlement
open focus on the self
overpowering or domineering behaviors

On the other hand, vulnerable narcissism is marked by traits including:

introversion, but self-focused
high neuroticism (moodiness)
alternating feelings of extreme pride and deep shame

Risk factors for narcissistic personality disorder are somewhat complex. NPD has been linked to a number of things, including parenting and environmental factors, as well as genetics — but all in a variety of combinations.

Certain parenting styles could be a risk factor for higher levels of narcissism in children. But they’ve often been studied in isolation or in different combinations, and with mixed findings.

Simply being male may be a slight risk factor, as narcissistic personality disorder is diagnosed more often in men. It’s estimated that NPD affects 7.7% of men and 4.8% of women in the United States.

In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), narcissistic personality disorder is a cluster B personality disorder.

Other cluster B personality disorders include:

antisocial personality disorder
histrionic personality disorder
borderline personality disorder

When a person with NPD seeks therapy, it may often be for different reasons other than managing NPD.

A person with NPD might seek therapy due to feelings of emptiness or periods of depression. In some cases, family or loved ones encourage them to seek help for relationship issues caused by NPD.

Diagnosis of NPD can be tricky, as it often coexists with other conditions. And on top of that, NPD can share symptoms with these conditions.

Some common co-occurring conditions for people with NPD include:

substance use disorder
anxiety disorders
mood disorders
other cluster B personality disorders

If you talk with a mental health pro about a diagnosis, they’ll likely start the process by asking you some questions. These questions may involve your:

coping skills
defense mechanisms
relationships with others
long-term patterns of behavior
childhood

There aren’t any FDA-approved medications for NPD. But if you experience another condition alongside NPD, you might take medication for:

anxiety
depression
mood episodes
psychosis
impulse control issues

Certain types of therapy could help people with NPD recognize maladaptive, or unhelpful, thoughts and behaviors that are causing distress to themselves and others.

Transference focused psychotherapy (TFP) is one form of therapy that’s shown some promise for helping people with NPD.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a complex mental health condition that’s not always easy to diagnose.

It can also be tricky to narrow down exactly what causes NPD or predict who’s likely to experience it.

Research has shown there are many environmental and genetic factors — from childhood upbringing to culture to genetics — that contribute to NPD.

But when someone with NPD decides they want to make a change, help is available.

Some types of therapy can help people with NPD accept responsibility for their actions, learn about their feelings and thoughts, and build secure relationships. You can learn more about getting help for NPD here.

Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Childhood, Genes, & More

Upbringing and childhood environment may be key factors in what causes NPD, but genetics could play a role, too.

If you live with NPD, you might be highly sensitive to criticism or have strong reactions to speech or behaviors you see as an insult.

It’s likely that narcissistic personality disorder is caused by several factors, such as environmental circumstances (including the child-parent relationship) and genetics.

You’ve likely heard the phrase “He’s such a narcissist!” thrown around. But where does narcissistic personality disorder factor in?

While most people show behaviors that could be seen as “narcissistic” — like selfishness or entitlement — narcissistic personality disorder is different.

When narcissistic traits disrupt many areas of your life (like your relationships or career), it could mean you meet the criteria for a personality disorder.

In general, NPD consists of patterns that show up in two or more of these areas:

thinking
emotions
interactions with others
impulse control

A clinician may diagnose narcissistic personality disorder if someone has five or more of these signs and symptoms:

feelings of self-importance or superiority
frequent thoughts about being good looking, powerful, or successful
beliefs that they’re separate, special, or above other people
a need to be looked up to by others
feelings of entitlement to special treatment or an expectation that others should cater to what they want

a tendency to take advantage of or exploit others
difficulty empathizing with other people’s needs, desires, or emotions
feelings of envy toward others, or beliefs that other people envy them
behaviors that seem arrogant or proud

In general, there are at least two subtypes of narcissism: grandiose and vulnerable.

Grandiose narcissism is what most people may think of as narcissism. People with grandiose narcissism may be more extraverted, have low levels of neuroticism, and openly express feelings of superiority.
Vulnerable narcissism shares the same basic traits of NPD, but may involve more hidden thoughts and behaviors. Those with vulnerable narcissism tend to have higher levels of neuroticism and need more reassurance.

While they may still feel superiority, people with a vulnerable narcissism subtype tend to be fearful of criticism. In some cases, they may stay away from others as a result.

Environmental factors — such as culture and parenting — could contribute to the development of narcissistic personality disorder.

The findings showed that narcissism was higher and self-esteem was lower in those who grew up in West Germany compared to East Germany.

In addition to culture, research suggests that childhood experiences could play an important role in causing NPD.

Negative childhood experiences, like being rejected or criticized by parents, may contribute to NPD in adulthood. At the same time, too much praise from parents could also lead to NPD.

Research suggests there’s a link between different parenting styles and narcissistic traits in adult children.

Still, there’s no “one” parenting behavior that always leads to narcissism.

Instead, combinations of parenting styles and other contributing factors (like genetics) may come together to cause NPD.

In general, these parenting factors are connected to higher levels of narcissism in children:

overprotective, or “helicopter” parenting
lack of warmth
setting few limits or boundaries (leniency)
praise that promotes perfection or unrealistic expectations (overvaluation)
maltreatment or abuse

Genetics may also play a role in contributing to narcissistic personality disorder.

In a 2014 study involving 304 pairs of twins, researchers found that some NPD traits were somewhat heritable (aka able to be passed on through genetics):

grandiosity was 23% heritable
entitlement was 35% heritable

Still, these traits seemed to exist independently from each other.

Older research indicates that NPD could be slightly more heritable than other cluster B personality disorders.

Personality traits may also play a role in how NPD presents.

Grandiose narcissism is generally connected to traits like:

a sense of entitlement
open focus on the self
overpowering or domineering behaviors

On the other hand, vulnerable narcissism is marked by traits including:

introversion, but self-focused
high neuroticism (moodiness)
alternating feelings of extreme pride and deep shame

Certain parenting styles could be a risk factor for higher levels of narcissism in children. But they’ve often been studied in isolation or in different combinations, and with mixed findings.

In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), narcissistic personality disorder is a cluster B personality disorder.

Other cluster B personality disorders include:

antisocial personality disorder
histrionic personality disorder
borderline personality disorder

When a person with NPD seeks therapy, it may often be for different reasons other than managing NPD.

A person with NPD might seek therapy due to feelings of emptiness or periods of depression. In some cases, family or loved ones encourage them to seek help for relationship issues caused by NPD.

Diagnosis of NPD can be tricky, as it often coexists with other conditions. And on top of that, NPD can share symptoms with these conditions.

Some common co-occurring conditions for people with NPD include:

substance use disorder
anxiety disorders
mood disorders
other cluster B personality disorders

If you talk with a mental health pro about a diagnosis, they’ll likely start the process by asking you some questions. These questions may involve your:

coping skills
defense mechanisms
relationships with others
long-term patterns of behavior
childhood

There aren’t any FDA-approved medications for NPD. But if you experience another condition alongside NPD, you might take medication for:

anxiety
depression
mood episodes
psychosis
impulse control issues

Certain types of therapy could help people with NPD recognize maladaptive, or unhelpful, thoughts and behaviors that are causing distress to themselves and others.

Transference focused psychotherapy (TFP) is one form of therapy that’s shown some promise for helping people with NPD.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a complex mental health condition that’s not always easy to diagnose.

It can also be tricky to narrow down exactly what causes NPD or predict who’s likely to experience it.

Research has shown there are many environmental and genetic factors — from childhood upbringing to culture to genetics — that contribute to NPD.

But when someone with NPD decides they want to make a change, help is available.

How do people become narcissists?

How do people become narcissists?

What causes narcissistic personality disorder, how does a person become a narcissist? Is it congenital or acquired?

It can be hereditary when a person is born with an underdeveloped amygdala, or amygdala, which is located in the limbic system of the brain. The amygdala is a repository of emotional memory, emotions of fear, aggression, joy, etc. Its size affects the capacity for sympathy or empathy. When the amygdala is small, underdeveloped, a person has a reduced ability to empathize. nine0005

Narcissistic personality disorder can also be the result of upbringing. More often than not, it's a combination of two factors. Narcissistic parents pass on their genes and bring in the upbringing.

What should be done to raise a narcissist?

He must be lowered all the time, underestimated, ignored and forced to do something beyond his strength, and then blamed for being offended. This is the perfect recipe.

A narcissist is a child who cannot possibly please his mother or father. His parents are most likely narcissists too. Or one of them. Whatever the child does, everything is bad. He is reproached, shamed and shamed or ignored. He is loved only for what he has done, and not for who he is. This is a child to whom parents feel disgust, reject him emotionally. They sometimes encourage him when he does something nice for them that pleases them, but the general background of the relationship is emotional rejection. He was not filled with the warmth of human love when he was small. In a sensitive period, when he needed love, he did not receive it. Hence this eternal emptiness and cold. nine0005

Narcissism manifests itself as a defense mechanism: one must forget that he is rejected, that he is disgusted by the most important people for him - his parents. You need to create an image, do something incredible, exceptional, so that mom loves him. So he begins to pull the crown on himself: “Look how good I am, praise me,” he creates his own exceptional image, tries to be the way they want to see him, and not himself. It is vital to receive love from others. So it turns out that the narcissist does not love himself, so there is no internal source, he would only splurge and pump energy from those around him. nine0005

Another version of the development of the daffodil. Parents see the child as successful and praise him, exalt him, work with him, want him to become some great mathematician or chess player or musician. When a child deviates from the desired ideal image, he does not receive praise, but receives criticism. This hurts. A child for parents is interesting only as a matter of pride and creating their own image of a good parent. The child develops an understanding that he must meet parental expectations, then he will be praised. During praise, he only feels filled with energy. Later, he tries to live up to the expectations of others. nine0005

In both cases, the parents demonstrate that they are not interested in the child's feelings, desires, dreams, that he is worthy of love only if he pleases them. A kind of "buy-sell" relationship. So the child learns to ignore other people's feelings, create an image that is socially approved, and manipulate people. Narcissists themselves do not know who they are, do not understand their own needs, desires, because no one was interested in this. All this is buried under a false ideal image. nine0005

Growing up, such children go to prestigious universities, and not to the universities they want (they really don't know what they want), try to buy prestigious things, make friends with popular people. All this corresponds to their need for power. When a narcissist is in power, they are admired. Power and admiration becomes a substitute for love. He confused these concepts in childhood and continues to live by this principle.

If you don't want to raise a narcissist, accept the child as he is. Love him, feel love for him. Some words are not enough. Try to understand his feelings, his desires, ask who he wants to be, what he is interested in. Do not manipulate the child with guilt, shame, fear. Then your child will be mentally healthy, happy, will understand you, love you, sympathize with you and sincerely help you. He will have warm and sincere relationships with people, and he will be happy in marriage. nine0005

Be aware and be happy.

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Tatyana Dyachenko

“I look at you like in a mirror”: what is hidden behind narcissism?

The concept of "narcissism" is familiar to everyone: at least once in their lives, people will definitely encounter a similar character, or even they themselves are a good illustration of the described phenomenon. Narcissists are unpleasant in communication, convinced of their own uniqueness, superiority, devalue others, expect their unconditional approval, admiration, submission, increased attention and reverence for their person, are not capable of sympathy - these are the common ideas about this type of personality. nine0005

But is this condition a disease or a norm? According to experts, rather the latter. In any case, narcissism is becoming fashionable: in recent years, the call to “love yourself” has become increasingly popular, and for those who are not able to do it on their own, numerous courses, trainings and schools help.

“Psychiatric rating scales change over time. If 100 or 50 years ago homosexuality was considered not just a deviation, but a mental pathology, now psychiatry considers it as one of the variants of the norm. The same applies to narcissistic personality disorder, ”explains psychiatrist, psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, candidate of medical sciences Evgeny Fomin. nine0005

The question is, where do "real" narcissists come from, can they be re-educated and is it worth it, or is it better to just stay away from them?

Reaction to criticism

Most problems, as you know, come from childhood. There are different theories about whether narcissism is an innate trait, or arises as a result of some kind of inaccuracies in upbringing and environmental characteristics. Most researchers are inclined to believe that the condition is nevertheless acquired, which is the result of some kind of childhood trauma. According to some experts, narcissistic disorder is a fixed childhood feeling of being deceived and unloved that begins in early adolescence and then carries over into the adult state of mind. nine0005

“This experience is imbued with a sense of shame, negative assessments and disapproval of others, on which the fixation occurs. Therefore, the narcissist is obsessed with attention and good treatment. He is not confident in himself, does not know who he is, and in order to understand this, he needs to look at the reaction of others. He looks in other people, as in his own reflection, there are no own formed self-esteem criteria, ”said the MIR 24 psychotherapist.

As a result of convulsive attempts to learn about oneself from others, and in a strictly positive way, the narcissist develops a desire for total control over the attitude of others around him, an accentuation on other people's reactions. nine0005

In his school years, such a teenager can quite aggressively demand recognition, forcing people to dance to his tune, creating a certain image of exclusivity. “He is trying to convey that he is special, with special rights that others are deprived of. At the same time, he does not have sympathy and any emotions in relation to others, with the exception of what concerns him personally. He is only interested in what is directly related to him,” says the doctor.

In psychiatry there is a concept of alexithymia - the absence of feelings, experiences, the inability to evaluate and describe one's own emotions. So such emotional emasculation may already be an innate condition. nine0005

“I deserve it!”

One way or another, further events can develop according to two scenarios. Narcissus is surrounded by either allies who indulge his moods, or enemies who want to rebuff him and put him in his place. But the narcissist tries not to contact the latter, choosing a more suitable audience. “He always finds those people who will give him what he needs,” Fomin explains.

It is worth noting that women are more likely to be narcissistic than men. “Here there is still the inclusion of a hysteroid radical, and hysteria is more inherent in women. Based on this logic, I believe that narcissism is more pronounced in women, ”the doctor believes. However, stories about male narcissists in recent years can also be found a lot. nine0005

You can recognize a narcissist even at the first glance. He is characterized by pretentiousness in clothes, the desire to emphasize his exclusivity even in appearance. But if for women excessive self-care is still the norm, for men plucked eyebrows and excessive attention to their appearance is already a definite call.

Narcissists are distinguished by certain behavioral features. “He creates a conversation format in which he talks only about himself. The interlocutor is not interesting to him, the narcissist is completely absorbed in his person, shares his fantasies, and these fantasies often come down to unlimited power, their own splendor, ideality, beauty. The narcissist makes it clear that he deserves all the best, he has every right to do so. Other people are perceived by him as a means to achieve his goals, a tool for providing him with all the blessings of life. The lack of emotions of empathy turns his environment into servants, ”says the expert. nine0005

Moreover, this number will not work with the so-called “border guard” (a person with features of borderline personality disorder): he will quickly bring the narcissist to the ground, devaluing all his fantasies about his own exclusivity. But those who voluntarily enter into such relationships, hang in them for many years, and then describe their suffering from these communications, are largely to blame themselves.

“Two boots of steam”

“The narcissist is looking for someone to help him in fulfilling his desires, illusions and goals, and the partner of the narcissist, inclined to salvation, is looking for someone to help. They have absolute synergy. The narcissist-rescue bond is a very stable, viable construct: they give each other what they need. Narcissus, accepting the help of the “rescuer”, thereby renders him a favor, ”says Evgeny Fomin. nine0005

It is unlikely that a normal person would want to spend his life on the free service of other people's interests - but, on the other hand, the donor of the "parasite" also derives a kind of benefit from these relationships. “Both of these roles are flawed, one is obsessed with himself, the second is fixated on the first. But the “rescuer”, firstly, receives from these relationships an awareness of his strength (if not omnipotence), an understanding that he “can”, and his partner cannot, i.e. flatters your ego and vanity. Secondly, in this way, the partner of the narcissist creates an aura of a martyr for himself, revels in his suffering and tries to achieve the sympathy and approval of others. Everyone should feel sorry for him, respect, support and thank him. So he also attracts attention to himself, but at the same time he expects that sooner or later he will appreciate these victims and the narcissist, who will suddenly see the light and thank him well for everything. However, the hopes that the goat will suddenly turn into a handsome prince, as a rule, do not come true, ”explains the psychotherapist. By the way, according to one theory, the "rescuer" himself may well be a narcissist. nine0005

Another motive for the “rescuer” may be the implicit expectation of “punishment” (for example, for some kind of guilt that was instilled in him as a child). A girl can specifically look for a “tormentor” for herself, winning back some old childhood complexes and injuries. After the execution of the “punishment”, the victim feels better for a while. “Such people try to compensate for their own guilt through the “executioners”, thus atoning for their “sins” or negative parental attitudes. From here - from the desire to be punished or to hurt, to obey or to subdue - there are different variants of BDSM. But people themselves choose such a cross for themselves as the realization of unconscious attitudes, ”the doctor explains. nine0005

From heaven to earth

In fact, it is worth contacting a narcissist only if the other side receives the above-described “goodies” from these relationships. But it is worth preparing for the fact that the narcissist will include all conceivable manipulations to create his own unique image and devalue the partner. The narcissist will live only in his own interests, try to invest in cohabitation to a minimum and generally minimize his investments in a partner - be it money, time or opportunities. But, of course, he will not be stingy with himself. And in order for the partner of the narcissist to stoically endure all the hardships and hardships of fate, the narcissist will explain to the second how pathetic and miserable he is, why his place is at the plinth, and the ultimate dream is to serve the “star”. The partner of the narcissist must take this whole structure as a kind of prize and spare no effort in maintaining it. In other words, in order to force someone to donate on yourself, you need to popularly explain to him that he is a donkey. nine0005

“The purpose of the narcissist is to inspire the partner with the idea that such a disproportion and such a picture of the world is normal,” explains the psychotherapist.

After spending years “at the baseboard”, partners of narcissists often start to rebel, try to heal themselves and treat the other side, drag her to the doctor. But at the same time, one must understand that narcissists, as a rule, do not go to a psychotherapist - everything is fine with them. It is extremely difficult for a narcissist to admit that there is a problem: even having got an appointment, he will prove - already to the doctor - his grandiosity and exclusivity. Therefore, it is not easy to “treat” such a person, Fomin emphasizes. nine0005

But if the narcissist himself suddenly wants to be healed (which is unlikely), he has a chance. However, in this case, the picture of the world of the narcissist will be destroyed: having lost the illusion of his own grandiosity, he will understand that he is the same as everyone else, and it will be extremely difficult for him to put up with a blow to his pride, left without the props that supported him in life. “If all this is worthless, the narcissist will fall into the deepest life crisis. But if he manages to find and develop some real talent in himself, perhaps he will not only extort support from people for his ephemeral exclusivity, but will find some basis for this. At least until someone devalues this activity of his, ”summed up the doctor.

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