How to get over cold feet
4 Ways to Get Past Cold Feet (or Any Kind of Anxiety)
Fresh Living blogger Holly Lebowitz Rossi recently wrote a helpful post on how to get past cold feet or any second-guessing for that matter. She writes:
I have a theory about why moving inherently involves a cold-feet stage. Here it is–moving is a zillion tiny decisions all crammed inside a giant, life-altering decision. And inside a human brain, those all conspire to result in self-doubt and second-guessing.
I suspect her theory is correct. And it is compounded by any underlying depression or anxiety disorder. In fact, at every “check up from the neck up” as Eric likes to call my psychiatric sessions, Dr. Smith will always ask me, “Have you had a hard time making decisions lately?” To which I will respond, “Ummm. Well…. Let’s see…..”
That has always been a clear indicator of my depression or anxiety level: how difficult decisions are. They are excruciating at times, not only for me, but also for the waiter. “Just decide on a damn salad dressing and let me wait my other 10 tables, Lady.”
“But the raspberry-vinaigrette will go so well with the goat cheese …. and yet, I do love the peppercorn ….”
I loathe any kind of big decision … something that will affect me for longer than a 24 hour period.
Like choosing a major.
I’m still deliberating on that one. Was religious studies really the best fit for me? What would my life be like had I pursued international business like my father wanted me too? Would I be really rich today? Could I afford to pay for the tea that I’m drinking with dollars instead of dimes that I found in my kids’ rooms?
The big whammy–marriage–oh my. I freaked out, big time, three weeks before the wedding, at which time I almost called it off. My body was literally shaking with anxiety, and I didn’t have a clue where all the fear was coming from.
Thankfully, a loving friend–the priest who married Eric and me–talked to me every day leading up to the wedding. He helped me separate the legitimate worriers (Eric and I were a tad religiously incompatible) from the heavy childhood baggage and useless anxiety that loves to surface during these kind of life-changing moments. I recorded my thoughts on paper, so that I could process some of the chaos inside my mind those weeks.
I won’t go there. Let’s just say I still wonder if I’m made of the right stuff to raise these guys.
I could have used Holly’s four techniques to get past the cold feet, brain farts or whatever. In fact, I find them to be excellent tools for anxiety, in general:
1. Write twin letters.
Compose a love letter to your object of feet-chill. Celebrate all of the reasons you fell in love with him/her/it in the first place. List everything positive you can think of, and nothing negative. Now write a missive. Vent all of your worries about the situation, and try to make a case against moving forward. I’ll bet you can’t come up with a single true deal-breaker, but giving your worries some air will feel good.
2. Get an objective opinion.
In the case of a house, show it to a friend who hasn’t seen it yet. Watch their body language as they encounter it for the first time, and ask for their honest opinion. Unless they faint in disgust, and I highly doubt they will, you can chalk up your cold feet to an emotional blip.
3. Visualize a joyful future.
Close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Picture yourself in the house/relationship/etc and picture yourself fully content. See yourself laughing, feel the grass beneath your feet, see the meal you’re sharing with loved ones, whatever happy situation you hope for yourself. Repeat as needed.
4. Take a break.
Go to the movies. Go for a run. Walk away from the thought-spiral and refresh your spirit before you plunge back into the deep end. Don’t let your worries build up on each other, give each panic-session time to dissipate and release before you head back into the fray. And don’t forget to breathe.
And right now, I’m going to do step four. Try not to think about all the decisions I have to make tonight. Thank God none of them involve salad dressing.
To get to Holly’s blog click here.
(Image via: http://therealsouthkorea.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/cold-feet.jpg)
What to Do If You Have Cold Feet Before the Wedding
Are you experiencing cold feet before your wedding? Maybe you're re-thinking your choice of a partner or questioning if you even want to get married at all. You might even be nervous that you won't be able to commit to being with one person for the rest of your life. Whatever the reason for your pre-wedding jitters, know that this is entirely normal: Many people have some level of cold feet before their wedding. But just because it's normal doesn't mean you can ignore these feelings; it's important to deal with them before you walk down the aisle.
What Does "Cold Feet" Mean?
"Cold feet" is a term characterized by a feeling of uncertainty around moving forward with your wedding.
For help, we turned to Jocelyn Charnas, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City. She works with individuals and couples in all stages of relationships, and she even earned the term "the wedding doctor" for her work with those who are engaged. "I think of cold feet as an umbrella term for the fears, doubts, and anxieties we have as we anticipate getting married," she explains. "An experience of anxiety and uncertainty is normal as we plan for this very important life transition, but too much fear and doubt can be very unsettling." Ahead, she walks us through what to do if you have cold feet and when to pay closer attention to these feelings of uncertainty.
Meet the Expert
Jocelyn Charnas is a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City who specializes in working with couples and individuals who are engaged.
Signs of Cold Feet
It is normal to have many types of feelings before your wedding, including anxiety, so you might be wondering if you have cold feet. Charnas says having cold feet can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Some people have overt doubts about their future, "like the questioning of whether [it] is the right person, the right time," she explains. You might be thinking about if you want to get married at all or if you could possibly commit to somebody for the rest of your life. You may even take steps to explore breaking off the wedding.
Some signs of having cold feet are a little less overt, adds Charnas. In many people, cold feet can manifest as intense anxiety around wedding planning. If you are breaking down in tears over which flavor of wedding cake to choose or where to go on a honeymoon, it might be less about the details of your wedding and more about your fears of getting married. Some people take it out on their partners when they have cold feet. If you're fighting with him or her more often or start to find the person you love annoying, that could be a sign. You might also be having nightmares or lose your sex drive.
Why People Get Cold Feet
One reason you might have cold feet is because getting married is a big deal. "A healthy dose of uncertainty and anxiety can mean we are taking this decision very, very seriously, as it should be taken," offers Charnas. "If we aren’t nervous before a big job interview, that could be a signal that we’re not all that invested in getting the job. I think about marriage in the same way; we should be a bit nervous, we should exercise critical thinking, we should explore it from all angles."
Media depictions of marriage only make this worse, admits Charnas. "There is a misconception, which I think is furthered by media and Hollywood depictions of engagement and marriage that you should 'just know.' That’s a lovely concept, but in the real world, it's okay to have some uncertainty. The trick is to vocalize it and try to work through it, rather than suppress it."
How to Deal With Cold Feet
One of the simplest and most effective ways to deal with cold feet is to talk about it, advises Charnas. "In my work with engaged couples, I can feel the sense of relief in the room when I give them the green light to vocalize their fears and doubts. Whether or not you seek the help of a therapist or religious counselor, I encourage couples to take the time to talk about the things they fear."
The good news about talking about having cold feet with your partner is you might even walk away from the conversation feeling more confident that this is your person and you can handle anything going forward. "If you can view your partner’s fears from a place of empathy and understanding, rather than from a position of defensiveness, you are already practicing healthy marriage behaviors!" exclaims Charnas.
She also reminds us that having cold feet is normal. You don't have to think anything is wrong with you. "The most important thing to remember is that a certain degree of pre-wedding anxiety is a normal part of the tremendous life transition that is marriage," she assures. "Getting in touch with your own fears and uncertainties and being a good listener for those of your partner is a great starting point for a healthy and joyous union. "
When Cold Feet Are a Sign That You Shouldn't Get Married
Sure, you can remind yourself that everyone has pre-wedding anxiety and cold feet is normal, but in the back of your brain, you might be wondering if your cold feet are telling you something serious. Maybe this isn't the person for you or maybe you aren't ready to get married? Charnas says one of the only times cold feet signifies something is deeply wrong is if you try to articulate your fears to your partner and it doesn't go well. "One potential red flag for me is if a member of the couple is unable or unwilling to vocalize their anxieties and/or hear their partner’s fears," she says. "This lack of communication can mean that perhaps the relationship is not yet ready for this next step." But even then it doesn't mean you need to break up right away; it just means you might need to work on your communication skills.
Another thing to look out for is if your anxiety is so crippling it affects other parts of your life including work, school, or self-care. "Too much anxiety, to a level that is paralyzing or widely disruptive to other areas of one's life, can be a sign of a deeper issue within the relationship."
The Complete Guide to Planning a Wedding
articles from the Oxford Medical Center Ivano-Frankivsk
With the onset of winter, each of us feels that it has become more difficult to keep warm. Accordingly, the first thing that suffers from hypothermia is the legs. However, chilliness of the legs does not only arise from the action of cold. The cause may be other factors that may be the first signal of the disease!
The main causes of cold feet
Diseases of the circulatory system is one of the most common causes of cold feet, regardless of the season. Given that the legs are the most distant from the heart (the so-called "pump" that pumps blood), with any changes in blood circulation, the legs are the first to suffer. nine0003
With a decrease in blood pressure, the blood passes to the legs at an insufficient speed and does not have time to convey heat, and with an increase, on the contrary, the vessels spasm, the surface area of the vessel decreases accordingly and the legs again do not receive enough heat. Such conditions occur with hypertension, vegetative-vascular dystonia, prolonged smoking. It is also possible to suspect helminthic invasion, since parasites secrete specific toxins that affect vascular tone, that is, cause their spasm. nine0003
Chilliness of the legs may also indicate iron deficiency anemia, in simple words - anemia. Why? It's simple: little hemoglobin - little oxygen - little heat. In this case, just check the level of hemoglobin in the blood - donate blood for a general clinical laboratory examination.
It should be noted that when the thyroid gland malfunctions, the regulation of heat in the body is disturbed, a person often feels cold, even in warm weather. It is not necessary to exclude the insufficiency of vitamins and microelements as a factor of chilliness, taking certain medications. nine0003
What should be done to prevent cold feet
How to eliminate this unpleasant sensation? Doctors have prepared some simple and useful tips for you:
- Move actively, train your legs. If you have a sedentary job - do a little exercise for your legs, try to walk more, do not forget about systematic walks.
- Throw away any tight shoes. Wearing tight and uncomfortable shoes provokes a violation of the circulation of the feet. Note that it is worth buying shoes that are not tight and not too loose! nine0020
- Quit smoking. Nicotine leads to vasospasm, and then ischemia, which is accompanied by chilliness, pain in the legs, a symptom of "intermittent claudication".
- Warm foot bath with essential oil is a great way to warm up your feet.
- Foot massage, rubbing with warming cream - exactly what you need for legs that often get cold!
- Hardening, contrast shower will help to quickly adapt to the cold weather.
What is recommended to include in the diet?
If you are worried about cold feet, pay attention to your diet: do you eat enough nutritious and healthy clothes in your diet? Doctors recommend enriching the diet with foods containing vitamins, iron, zinc, and fiber. It is advisable not to abuse carbohydrates and foods high in cholesterol. Always follow the right balance of proteins, fats and carbohydrates. Always include fresh vegetables and fruits, liver, enough meat, oily sea fish. nine0003
And most importantly: if you suspect that cold feet may be the cause of a more serious condition and are accompanied by pain, discomfort, do not delay your visit to the doctor! After all, it is the doctor who will conduct the necessary examination and jointly eliminate your problem! Timely treatment is the key to good health. Take care of the most valuable - trust the best!
Medical Center "Oxford Medical Ivano-Frankivsk"
To make an appointment with a doctor, call us: 067 3777299, 050 3777299.
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What to do when the legs are freezing: 20 ways to warm cold legs
Furious legs - this is not only discomfort and pain from the cold, but also a direct threat to health . For cold winter weather, it is better not to save on shoes and buy high-quality sneakers or boots (for example, Salomon Fury 3), keeping feet warm . On rainy days, when the air temperature is already dropping, you should not allow your feet to get wet. In this case, the question of choosing high-quality shoes that does not leak and has water-repellent properties is also relevant.
Hypothermia in the street is the simplest and most common case of freezing of the extremities. But doctors believe that age becomes the main reason for the feeling of constant cooling of the hands and feet. This is due to age-related changes in the body, when all processes slow down and, as a result - blood circulation is disturbed .
But there are a number of reasons why feet get cold and they are more serious:
- Hypothyroidism is a violation of the thyroid gland, a decrease in its functions, as a result of which a person becomes lethargic, sleepy, feels cold in the extremities;
- Atherosclerosis - occurs as a result of the formation of cholesterol plaques that form in the blood vessels and cause slow blood flow to the limbs; nine0020
- Diabetes mellitus causes thinning and fragility of blood vessels, the formation of blood clots in them;
- Blood pressure - as a result of vasospasm caused by increased pressure, coldness is felt in the legs;
- Frostbite. If earlier there were cases of serious hypothermia of the legs up to frostbite, then the limbs will constantly freeze;
- Anemia is a disease caused by a lack of iron in the body, as a result of which the hemoglobin index is at a low level, insufficient oxygen supply to the blood leads to constant cooling of the feet. nine0020
Basic rules if you often get cold feet
When the feeling of constantly cold feet in any weather does not leave, it is better to make a rule:
- Do not wear too tight shoes, they should be loose. Wear winter boots or boots on a warm woolen sock, and in the summer, wear sandals that are not too open. Shoes should be made of genuine leather, because artificial materials cause excessive sweating of the feet, and wet feet risk freezing quickly. nine0020
- A healthy lifestyle will reduce the predisposition to hypothermia. Mandatory daily morning exercises, rubbing the legs and body with a terry towel after a shower, walking in the fresh air.
- The menu must necessarily include products containing many vitamins and microelements: pumpkin, herbs, radish, beets, cabbage, various fruits. It is advisable to refrain from eating sweet and flour products. If anything, then here you can pick up fasteners. nine0019 Before going to bed, apply a warming cream to the feet.
- To improve blood circulation in the lower extremities, before going to bed, you can do foot baths with a contrast effect, immersing your feet in turn in cold and hot water.
Prevention is the best way to stay warm
If a relative has problems with the circulatory system, preventive measures should not be neglected and try to avoid unpleasant sensations from cold in the feet:
- The well-known truth “movement is life” is relevant in this case. Therefore, while running or just walking , the circulatory system is pumped and blood exchange improves. It is also helpful to go barefoot.
- It is worth getting into the habit every day before going to bed to massage the feet using a massage mat, special balms or gels.
- Women with circulatory problems should minimize walking in high heels .
- After a hard day or a long walk, it will be useful lying on your back, raise your legs up , then fatigue and swelling will subside faster.
- It is worth to forget about the “leg to foot” pose .
- Review the diet, it should be supplemented with products that cleanse blood vessels, improve blood and the work of the cardiovascular system.
20 ways to warm up cold feet
If you neglect preventive measures and do not follow the advice on how to avoid hypothermia, then cold feet will surely make themselves felt unpleasant. At the same time, thoughts will only be in my head about how to quickly find myself in a warm place and warm icy feet . There are many ways to do this :
- The first step is to take off cold and possibly wet tights or socks and change into home clothes. This will create a feeling of comfort and warmth. Then immerse your feet in hot water, after salting it. The main thing is that the water does not cool down. The feeling of warmth should come fairly quickly.
- To warm up faster massage cream with a warming effect will help. It must be carefully rubbed into the skin of the feet with massaging movements. nine0020
- Natural wool socks are irreplaceable. They retain heat well. To warm up faster, you can cover yourself with a warm blanket and drink hot tea.
- If it is not possible to soak your feet in hot water, terry towel is good . Rub each toe with massaging movements , but not too hard, so as not to damage the skin. Then you can wet thin socks with alcohol (you can use vodka) and put them on your feet. Again, you can not do without woolen socks, which you need to wear on top of the previous ones and cover yourself with a warm blanket. nine0020
- If in severe frosts neither warm shoes nor thick socks help, you need to make insoles from foil heat reflector , which is sold in any building department. To do this, cut the insole of the desired size and place it in boots under an ordinary insole.
- A quick way to warm your feet is to use ground red pepper , which should be poured into thick socks and put on your feet.
- Aromatic bath will not only warm, but also soothe tired feet. To do this, you will need 1 teaspoon of lavender or rosemary oil, 3 tablespoons of sea salt, about half a glass of milk. Dilute all this in hot water and soak your feet in it.
- Hot tea has a warming effect, but its effect is greatly enhanced by finely chopped ginger root and lemon juice, which must be added to tea. Ginger not only destroys germs, but also disperses heat throughout the body, including the legs. nine0020
- Of course, it is more pleasant to warm up at home in a comfortable environment, but what if you have to work in a cold office where your feet are constantly cold. The easiest and most affordable way is to drink hot tea, you can add herbs. This will help prevent colds.
- In a cold office, modern innovations will be a real salvation - USB slippers . You just need to connect them through a special connector to a working computer and put them on your feet. Just a few minutes are enough to feel the beneficial warmth. nine0020
- Knowing that you have to work in a cold room, you should always have in stock dry warm socks . A warming massage will help to disperse the blood in the feet and warm them up, in which you need to actively rub the feet and alternately all the fingers. You need to do this until a feeling of warmth comes. After that, spare dry socks will come in handy.
- You can warm up your feet by actively moving your toes . Too tight shoes will not allow this, so it is better to take them off. nine0020
- Also shaking movementswill help as gymnastics . When the vessels and muscles oscillate, blood flow increases and accelerates warming. You just need to shake your legs in turn, walk around and jump on the spot.
- To quickly warm up the limbs, rolling movements from toe to heel and back are effective .
- Ideal in a cold room to install under the feet heater . They come in different types and sizes, but are equally capable of giving the necessary feeling of warm comfort. nine0020
- If when you come home, you want to immediately crawl under a warm blanket and not soar your legs, then it is quite possible to do this, and an ordinary heating pad will help you warm up faster. If one is not at hand, an ordinary plastic bottle of hot water, attached near the feet, which must first be put on warm socks, is quite suitable. An alternative to water can be homemade cereals: buckwheat, rice or salt, heated in a pan.
- If it is not possible to change shoes or change socks, you can use a hairdryer to warm up the shoes from the inside . If necessary, the process can be repeated.
- For those who regularly suffer from hypothermia of the feet, it will be useful to use warming creams that can be prepared at home. There are many recipes, they may include beeswax, hazelnut oil, shea butter, camphor. Such balms and creams should be stored in the refrigerator.
- In the case when you have to stand in the cold for a long time, shoes can be insulated with paper insoles. nine0020
- There is a common belief that alcohol keeps you warm in the cold, but this is not true. High-grade drinks can give a feeling of warmth only for a short time, and then it begins to rapidly disappear. Hot coffee is also not an effective warming drink. Many climbers prefer hot chocolate. Such a drink warms perfectly: add 0.