How to fight sadness and loneliness

SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

Suggested Resources
What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery. Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.
It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.

After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.
Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.
For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs

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Misusing alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can have both immediate and long-term health effects.

The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. NSDUH estimates allow researchers, clinicians, policymakers, and the general public to better understand and improve the nation’s behavioral health. These reports and detailed tables present estimates from the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).

Alcohol

Data:

Among the 133.1 million current alcohol users aged 12 or older in 2021, 60.0 million people (or 45.1%) were past month binge drinkers. The percentage of people who were past month binge drinkers was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (29.2% or 9.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (22.4% or 49.3 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (3.8% or 995,000 people). (2021 NSDUH)
Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 15.1% (or 5.9 million people) were past month alcohol users. Estimates of binge alcohol use and heavy alcohol use in the past month among underage people were 8.3% (or 3.2 million people) and 1.6% (or 613,000 people), respectively. (2021 NSDUH)
In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (i.e., current alcohol users) (2020 NSDUH)

Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44. 4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)
The percentage of people who were past month binge alcohol users was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (31.4%) compared with 22.9% of adults aged 26 or older and 4.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
Excessive alcohol use can increase a person’s risk of stroke, liver cirrhosis, alcoholic hepatitis, cancer, and other serious health conditions
Excessive alcohol use can also lead to risk-taking behavior, including driving while impaired. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver daily

Programs/Initiatives:

STOP Underage Drinking interagency portal - Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
Talk. They Hear You.
Underage Drinking: Myths vs. Facts
Talking with your College-Bound Young Adult About Alcohol

Relevant links:

National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors
Department of Transportation Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy & Compliance
Alcohol Policy Information Systems Database (APIS)
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

Tobacco

Data:

In 2020, 20.7% of people aged 12 or older (or 57.3 million people) used nicotine products (i.e., used tobacco products or vaped nicotine) in the past month (2020 NSDUH)
Among past month users of nicotine products, nearly two thirds of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (63.1%) vaped nicotine but did not use tobacco products. In contrast, 88.9% of past month nicotine product users aged 26 or older used only tobacco products (2020 NSDUH)
Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death, often leading to lung cancer, respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, and other serious illnesses. The CDC reports that cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States
The CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health reports that more than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking cigarettes

Electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) use data:

In 2021, 13.2 million people aged 12 or older (or 4.7%) used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. The percentage of people who vaped nicotine was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (14.1% or 4.7 million people), followed by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (5.2% or 1.4 million people), then by adults aged 26 or older (3.2% or 7.1 million people).
Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 11.0% (or 4.3 million people) used tobacco products or used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. Among people in this age group, 8.1% (or 3.1 million people) vaped nicotine, 5.4% (or 2.1 million people) used tobacco products, and 3. 4% (or 1.3 million people) smoked cigarettes in the past month. (2021 NSDUH)
Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2020 National Youth Tobacco Survey. Among both middle and high school students, current use of e-cigarettes declined from 2019 to 2020, reversing previous trends and returning current e-cigarette use to levels similar to those observed in 2018
E-cigarettes are not safe for youth, young adults, or pregnant women, especially because they contain nicotine and other chemicals

Resources:

Tips for Teens: Tobacco
Tips for Teens: E-cigarettes
Implementing Tobacco Cessation Programs in Substance Use Disorder Treatment Settings
Synar Amendment Program

Links:

Truth Initiative
FDA Center for Tobacco Products
CDC Office on Smoking and Health
National Institute on Drug Abuse: Tobacco, Nicotine, and E-Cigarettes
National Institute on Drug Abuse: E-Cigarettes

Opioids

Data:

Among people aged 12 or older in 2021, 3. 3% (or 9.2 million people) misused opioids (heroin or prescription pain relievers) in the past year. Among the 9.2 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 8.7 million people misused prescription pain relievers compared with 1.1 million people who used heroin. These numbers include 574,000 people who both misused prescription pain relievers and used heroin in the past year. (2021 NSDUH)
Among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 3.4% (or 9.5 million people) misused opioids in the past year. Among the 9.5 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 9.3 million people misused prescription pain relievers and 902,000 people used heroin (2020 NSDUH)
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Understanding the Epidemic, an average of 128 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose

Resources:

Medications for Substance Use Disorders
Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit
TIP 63: Medications for Opioid Use Disorder
Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Opioid Use Disorder in Criminal Justice Settings
Opioid Use Disorder and Pregnancy
Clinical Guidance for Treating Pregnant and Parenting Women With Opioid Use Disorder and Their Infants

The Facts about Buprenorphine for Treatment of Opioid Addiction
Pregnancy Planning for Women Being Treated for Opioid Use Disorder
Tips for Teens: Opioids
Rural Opioid Technical Assistance Grants
Tribal Opioid Response Grants
Provider’s Clinical Support System - Medication Assisted Treatment Grant Program

Links:

National Institute on Drug Abuse: Opioids
National Institute on Drug Abuse: Heroin
HHS Prevent Opioid Abuse
Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America
Addiction Technology Transfer Center (ATTC) Network
Prevention Technology Transfer Center (PTTC) Network

Marijuana

Data:

In 2021, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug, with 18. 7% of people aged 12 or older (or 52.5 million people) using it in the past year. The percentage was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (35.4% or 11.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (17.2% or 37.9 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (10.5% or 2.7 million people).
The percentage of people who used marijuana in the past year was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (34.5%) compared with 16.3% of adults aged 26 or older and 10.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
Marijuana can impair judgment and distort perception in the short term and can lead to memory impairment in the long term
Marijuana can have significant health effects on youth and pregnant women.

Resources:

Know the Risks of Marijuana
Marijuana and Pregnancy
Tips for Teens: Marijuana

Relevant links:

National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana
Addiction Technology Transfer Centers on Marijuana
CDC Marijuana and Public Health

Emerging Trends in Substance Misuse:

Methamphetamine—In 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year. Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia.
Cocaine—In 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
Kratom—In 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors. It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.

Resources:

Tips for Teens: Methamphetamine
Tips for Teens: Cocaine
National Institute on Drug Abuse

More SAMHSA publications on substance use prevention and treatment.

Last Updated: 03/22/2023

The therapist explained how to overcome loneliness

The topic of loneliness is one that is probably familiar to all of us. Loneliness is the feeling that accompanies us in our development. This is part of the journey of finding yourself. And it leads to the fact that we begin to value relationships more.

Experience of loneliness

Loneliness is experienced very painfully. This is the kind of feeling we want to run away from, and we do it by being distracted by something. We are helped by watching TV shows and movies, computer, mobile phone, travel, alcohol, work. All this helps to get rid of the unpleasant feeling. Because in loneliness we experience that we again find ourselves thrown back to ourselves. In loneliness, I am only with myself. I'm thrown. There is no one around. I don't have a relationship, I don't have anyone I can talk to. Loneliness is the experience of experiencing the absence of a relationship. This feeling can be especially acute in longing for something. If you love someone, you yearn for separation from him. I miss my loved one, I feel connected to him, but I cannot see him. My heart is next to him, and without him or without her, my heart is lost to a certain extent.

A similar feeling can be experienced with nostalgia, when we yearn for our native places. I experienced a very strong longing for my native places when, as a child of 11-12 years old, I was in a boarding school. It was warm and pleasant at home, I had relationships there, I had friends there, and I was at a boarding school far from home. I haven't been home for a whole month. I felt like I was in a foreign world. The world was cold and I felt lost. All this time I thought about what was happening at home, what my relatives were doing: now they got up, now they are having dinner, now the family has gathered at the table. And I was constantly in pain because I was separated from that part of life where I usually experienced warmth, where I had the feeling that I was part of this world. I felt incredibly alone.

We may feel lonely at work if we are confronted with some demands, if there are some projects that we have not yet grown up to. Where we feel insecure about them, and if no one supports us at the same time. Then we feel alone. If I know that everything depends on me alone, there may be a fear that will accompany loneliness. It's the fear that I'll be weak, that I'll feel guilty about not being able to do it.

It's even worse if bullying occurs at work. Then I will feel that I am given to it at the mercy of, I am on the edge of society and I am no longer a part of it.

Loneliness is a very big topic in old age, in old age. And in childhood. Children who are not met, children who are left alone if the parents are busy doing something else, may feel helpless in their loneliness. Loneliness traumatizes children, because in solitude they are not able to develop their Self. They stop in development. There is a curvature in the development of the child if he experiences long moments of loneliness. On the other hand, it is not so bad if the child spends a couple of hours alone, because for him this is an impetus for development. Just what is reality.

In old age, loneliness is no longer a traumatic factor and does not hinder development - but it is burdensome. It can cause depression, paranoid feelings, sleep disturbances, psychosomatic complaints, and pseudodementia. It happens that pseudo-dementia is the silence of a person from loneliness. He used to have a family, he worked for decades, was among people, and now he sits at home alone. One of my patients at the age of 85 was sitting at home alone. Being her doctor, so that she would not be completely alone, I bought her a canary. She has a living being. This canary helped her live a couple of years longer. She talked to her every day.

For most older people, television is their "comfort". But TV is a communication directed only in one direction. And yet man at least hears human voices. And in any case, he can say something to himself, even if no one will hear. I think this is not a bad form of overcoming loneliness, creating a kind of bridge, because it takes the edge off loneliness. But, of course, this is an ersatz, a replacement. In old age, loneliness can be very overwhelming. Especially if he has lost the ability to see or hear. Can I imagine that I have to live in this state for a couple of years? When the only thing that will accompany me is back pain or indigestion. We can imagine how helpless we are in such situations. And here the question of the value of life really arises.

Do I know loneliness? If we ask ourselves: when was the last time I felt lonely? Is loneliness somehow present in my life? Maybe it is hidden behind some businesslike everyday life? If I'm being honest, I can probably find it. Or I may find that there were times when I was alone. Maybe I haven't known this feeling for a long time? Maybe it's foreign to me? Or another pole: maybe I really suffer acutely from loneliness? And it overwhelms me so much that all the joy in relation to life simply disappeared, that the question arises about the meaning of life.

Loneliness among people

I can experience loneliness not only if I do not have relationships with people. I can feel lonely during some holiday, at a party, even at my own birthday, at school, at work, in my family. Sometimes people are nearby, but something is missing. There is no meeting, there is not enough intimacy, there is no exchange with another person. We have superficial conversations, and I have a need to talk to a person for real. We talk about skiing, about cars, but we don't talk about me and you.

In many families, it is only about some business, who and what should buy, who should cook food, but our relationships, what worries us, are silent. Then I feel alone and in the family.

If no one in the family sees me, especially if it is a child, then I am alone. Even worse - I am abandoned, because there are people around, but they are not interested in me, they do not look into my eyes. They only look at whether I do well in school and that I don't do anything bad. And that's how I'm raised. I grow up alone.

The same happens in partnerships: we have been together for 20 years, but at the same time we feel lonely. The sexual relationship is functioning, but am I in the relationship? Is the other talking about me - or only about yourself? Or just to satisfy some needs? If we don't take the time to talk to each other, as we did when we were in love, then we become lonely even in good relationships.

There are periods in every relationship when it feels lonely as the relationship develops more on a curve with ups and downs. We cannot be constantly ready to communicate with another, be constantly open to another person. We are immersed in ourselves, busy with our problems, feelings, and we have no time for another. But it can happen just when he needs it the most. At this moment, I am not for another, and the other feels alone, maybe even abandoned in trouble. Such situations occur in any relationship. But it doesn't harm the relationship if we can then talk about our different states. And then we find each other again. But sometimes these moments remain wounds that we receive in the course of our lives.

We can experience loneliness not only when we are not in a relationship, but even when we are surrounded by people. And at the same time, we can not feel lonely when no one is around.

To understand loneliness, let's try to look at a person more deeply. Then we can understand why loneliness manifests itself in so many different ways.

Causes of loneliness

A person is a creature that, as it were, was placed into the world. The main idea of existential philosophy says that it is impossible to be human without being related to the world. To be human means fundamentally to be in the world, to be in connection with something or someone else. Without connection with otherness, it is impossible to be human.

It was in this way that Heidegger defined "being here" (existence). Heidegger often used the word Dasein instead of Person to show that I cannot be if I am not connected with You or It. To be here is to be in the world. In the world of my family, in the world of my city, in the world of my ideas and ideas. That is to say, being human is a fundamental correlation. If something does not function in this relation, then we lack something and may feel lonely.

But this connection is twofold. Martin Buber spoke about the relationship "I-Thou" and "I-It": I relate to another person, the same as me - and this is a personal relationship, or I relate to some thing, with some business ( e.g. "I'm driving a car"). That is, relationships have an outer pole, but they also have an inner pole. I also need to manage with myself, I need not just to BE in this world, but I must also be I. We have a correlation outside and a correlation with ourselves. This thought can help to understand three reasons why loneliness occurs.

First of all, loneliness is a disturbance, a breakdown in relationships. In loneliness, we worry that relationships either do not exist, or they develop incorrectly. Relations with a person mean: I am connected with this person with my feelings, I would like to experience a person in my feeling. I would like to be able to feel what drives him and what he feels.

Let's think about the relationship with your child. I would like to feel how a child experiences and lives his life. I would like to participate in this, I would like to be close to him - because through closeness I have a feeling about my child and his life.

Relationships are more than relatedness in terms of feelings. Relationships always have a beginning, but relationships never end. Relationships are forever. And it can be assumed that since I always remain connected with the person with whom I have or had a relationship, I can never be alone. All the relationships that I had with other people have been preserved in me. If I meet my ex-girlfriend after 20 years on the street, then my heart starts to beat faster - because something was, and it still continues to be in me. Everything that happens in a relationship is saved. And I can live on that. If I experienced something good with some person, then this is a source for happiness in my later life. I can think of my mother, father, with whom I had a good relationship - and feel a warm feeling.

However, if the relationship is bad, then I don't want to remember them, I don't want to go back to the past. Then I wish it wasn't true. Then I lose contact with it. Relationships seem to be there, but they hurt me - and I turn away. And if I turn away, then the relationship in this moment no longer lives. Therefore, it may be that I will feel lonely, although I have or have had a relationship.

There is another reason why relationships can cause feelings of loneliness. What we have described so far is the outer pole of the relationship. But there is a relationship directed inward, a relationship with oneself. If I don't feel myself, if I don't have feelings, if they are muffled, then I am alone with myself. If I do not feel my body, my breath, my mood, my well-being, my fatigue, my joy, my pain - if I do not feel all this, then I am not in a relationship with myself. Then I miss a fundamental, basic part of life.

This can happen if I have had an experience that hurts - then I don't want to turn to myself. If I was offended, disappointed, deceived, if I was ridiculed, then I feel pain if I turn to myself. And this is a natural human reflex - to turn away from what causes pain and suffering. We have described it in terms of external relations, but also in internal relations I can withdraw from myself. And then I no longer feel myself, I am no longer in a relationship with myself. It can take me so far that I won't feel my body. I will feel my feelings to such a small extent that I will have psychosomatic disorders. They always indicate that you do not feel something very important. This is a signal: you should not continue to live like this, feel what hurts you so that you can process it. So that you can mourn, so that you can forgive - otherwise you will not be free. Migraine, stomach ulcers, asthma and other disorders tell me: do not continue like this. There is something very important that you must do first.

If I lose my relationship with myself, I can no longer feel myself. Or even worse, I can't have a relationship with you either.

I cannot truly experience a relationship with another if I am not capable of resonance, if there is no movement in me, because the feelings are too wounded. Or because I never really had them. If my mother never took me in her arms, if my father didn't have time for me, if I didn't have real friends, then I have a "blunted" world of feelings - a world that could not develop. Then my feelings are poor, and then I am always alone. Because I don't feel very well (or don't feel at all). Therefore, in relation to the other person, my feelings are also flat. This is the second level of relationship that leads to loneliness.

But there is also a third level, which is above the relationship level and which is also causally related to loneliness. This is the meeting level. This level is connected with the fact that I am I in a relationship. If in a relationship we can experience being together and feel the closeness of another person, then thanks to the I, another aspect is introduced that “explodes” this pleasant being together: for all our connectedness and mutual striving to meet, we realize that I am I, You are You, but I am not You. That difference, which is irremovable. It is eliminated, for example, in a symbiotic relationship, when I myself dissolve into you. But if I am I, then there is a boundary between us. Then I worry that, in principle, I am responsible only for myself, I am left alone with myself.

There is no second Alfried Lenglet in this world. Each of us is unique and unique. The way I am is unique nowhere else. And this is the basis that can potentially make us lonely in this world.

Healing from loneliness

What can help here? The other person has the same feelings, he feels the same way. If it is You who turns to me, it will help me accept loneliness. If other people look at me, in my direction, then by doing so they will let me know: "I see you. You are here." And I really am here, and not only with my feelings - I am here as a Person.

If, for example, another person is listening to me, they are directed towards me. It is not only about the fact that there is some kind of movement of feelings, but that someone is trying to understand me. And he tells me that he understands what he thinks about this. If other people are interested in what I am doing, then I see that I have done this action, and this attracts the attention of another person. That is, not only I see it, others see it too. And then it becomes reality. If others look at me that way, then they respect boundaries and differences. If I feel seen, it means that I was treated with respect.

If other people take the next step and take me seriously, leave me my own: "Yes, you baked this cake, not me," then they treat me fairly. If they listen to my comments, if they say, "What you said is important. Can you explain it further?" then these people treat me fairly. This is an even higher level than just being seen. Being seen means that I have respect for the border, I do not step on you, I do not go around you. The pinnacle of all this is the recognition of my worth. If the other says "I like it"; "I think it's important," then I get a value judgment from the other. And thus my own value takes root. I can get some criticism, but it gives me a certain edge as a Person. If others come to me, tune in to me - I'm not alone.

If all this happens when I am a child, then I can build my Self. The development of the Self is connected with meeting other people. Parents are the people who see me, who take me seriously and tell me that they appreciate me. And then the child can begin to do the same with himself.

We need to learn this. We can learn it from others, but we cannot develop it in ourselves without You. That is why Martin Buber said that I becomes I next to You. The self acquires the ability to treat itself - and then treat others in the same way. The person who survives the meeting develops abilities through which he can meet others.

We have Person - this is the source. This source itself begins to speak in us, but for this the Self must be heard. This I needs You, who will listen to him. By meeting with the other, I can go to myself. And in doing so, I have the basic experience of being a Person. I am self-confident, I have an inner life, the Person inside me speaks to my I, and through the I speaks to You and thus expresses itself. If I live out of this alignment, then I am authentic, then I really am I. And then I am no longer alone.

Read the full text on the website thezis.ru

When you are sad and lonely. How to cope with sadness and loneliness

I'm lonely... I'm so lonely... Sad, boring, painful... LONELY... I live in a city where there are hundreds of thousands, millions of people, and at the same time I'm like like in a vacuum, I'm alone. How is this possible? Why? For what? And most importantly - what to do to get rid of this unpleasant feeling of one's own loneliness.

"I feel very lonely" - if this thought comes to mind, then something in life needs to be changed. Man is a social being and only in society, among other people, can he be truly happy. It does not matter the number of people who will be surrounded - one true friend or a hundred acquaintances - the main thing is that there should be communication, contact with the outside world not only at work, but at the behest of the heart and soul. If it is not there, this is unbearable suffering for any mentally normal person.

Is loneliness a disease of the inhabitants of modern cities?

You can find many questions about loneliness on the Internet. Along with dating sites, many projects and forums are being created for those who suffer from loneliness. And although people are trying to meet each other, to support each other, there is still an increase in people who feel their loneliness very, very sharply.

I am a person without friends. I am very lonely. I don't even have close friends. You have no idea how difficult it is to meet every day alone, to know that no one will call and ask how you are doing. The people I interact with are work colleagues. How hard it is to live knowing that no one in the world will support you, touch you, and that all I can do is go to the movies alone, ride transport alone, go somewhere alone. Bored, sad and lonely. It hurts unbearably. Every day to think that no one needs you, that there is no friend, girlfriend, there is no one for miles around. It hurts, it hurts terribly. It hurts to such an extent that you begin to communicate and stay with people as far from you as your soul goes to your heels, and you don’t know how to get out of this hole. Loneliness is pain. The one that no one feels or sees is real. Problems at work, in the family - nothing compares to this feeling of loneliness. Every day I do not want to fall asleep because tomorrow is the same gray worthless day in complete despair and loneliness.

A person who is lonely understands that this is a negative state that brings suffering. Naturally, he wants to get rid of loneliness, like a disease. Recover and be like everyone else, normal people: make friends, communicate, enjoy life and share this joy with others. That's just how to do it? All attempts to go outside do not work, relationships do not stick. Finding a loved one fails, making friends also fails. The situation is aggravated with age, the older a person becomes, the more difficult it is for him to find someone: the same age already have their families, their downed companies, into which it is very, very difficult for a new person to fit in.

Not so long ago he was writhing with a heart attack, as you know, he remained alive... then it seemed that the end was probably here (only the word was completely different in my head)... it was not scary and not insulting to die, it was insulting that there is nothing to remember, no fun and joyful moments with anyone nearby, nothing, and no one is near because I am such a lonely or worthless person, but because it so happened in life that all life happens and passes you by ...

In the end, loneliness becomes such an unbearable burden that a person sometimes even thinks about suicide. "I'm lonely" - it's really scary to understand. This burden, like a stone, crushes, suffocates, angers, irritates. In general, it causes the whole range of negative sensations that only a person has.

If you are lonely, the reason is always in the subconscious. It is very easy to find friends, acquaintances, loved ones. The main thing is to understand yourself and understand what to do with yourself.

Let's try to figure out from the point of view of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology why some people, unlike others, fall into the trap of loneliness and can even hang there for a long time, literally until the end of their lives. And most importantly, how to get out of this state.

Because absolutely everyone can get out of this state, without exception.

Want to know more about human psychology? Do you want to finally become a happy person? We invite you to attend trainings on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. The introductory part of the lectures is absolutely free and available to everyone at

Ways to deal with loneliness

Loneliness can be useful for a short period of time, do not feel sorry for yourself, it only aggravates the situation, but try to use it for your own good in order to improve and develop.

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What is loneliness

There are two types of causes of loneliness: subjective and objective. Subjective reasons depend on you and are in the manner of behavior. By changing a fraction of the installations imposed by fate, you will achieve a lot. Objective reasons are easier to eliminate, because they are easier to see, state, understand, and think about.

Manual

Stop looking for the perfect! Firstly, a 100% coincidence of the characters of two people is not a guarantee of the durability of a marriage. And judging by the latest statements by psychologists, this is not a reason to start a family, because it is more effective to spend a vacation with such a person than to raise children.

Always keep a balance between your self-confidence and the pomposity of a turkey. Should I look like that big scary bird? In reality, many brave heroes run away from the courtyard at the sound of her voice. Have you ever watched it?

Throw off the mask of feminism. The opinion of complete emancipation is outdated, it was refuted. There is much more testosterone in the flask under the letter "M" than in the flask under the letter "F". This means that at the molecular level you will never become more independent and familiar botanist.

Turn off the internet, turn around and leave the apartment. From the proposed list, select one place and visit it: a club, cinema, cafe, exhibition, circus, karaoke, theater, concert or city park. Ideally, invite someone over.

Be sure to show interest in a young person when making a new acquaintance. Attention! Thoroughly track the line where your obsession begins. There is a big difference between expressing one's opinion and imposing. Learn to recognize it.

When going to crowded places, plan your behavior. If you are afraid to do this in front of a mirror, then you have problems that are best corrected with a psychologist.

What is loneliness

Loneliness is a state of a person in which he is isolated from others: in the physical real and imaginary mental. In the first case, this is due to some external factors: work in secluded places, forced isolation from society (dangerous criminal or mentally unhealthy person). And in the second, it takes place in the soul of a person, despite constant contacts with other people, when there is no soul mate who is close in views and meaning in life.

The most difficult thing is the spiritual loneliness. It can occur for various reasons: parting with a loved one, death of loved ones, moving to another city/country. Sometimes a person is lonely since childhood because of a complex inner world that is not clear to his environment.

Women suffer from loneliness more often than men due to more strongly developed emotionality. But sometimes men are very difficult to experience this condition.

Ways to deal with loneliness

The main thing in the fight against is not to go in cycles in this feeling. A short period of being with yourself is very useful, because with constant employment, sometimes there is not enough time to understand yourself, your feelings and sincere desires. But you should not lock yourself up, try to isolate yourself from society for a long time, otherwise it can develop into depression, from which it is very difficult to get out on your own without the help of specialists.

In no case should you seize or drink loneliness, it will not go anywhere, and the consequences can become very serious, and sometimes even difficult to cure (alcoholism). You should not get hooked on various depressants, they, of course, will help, but addiction may appear, and the reason will not go away by itself.

If loneliness arose due to parting with a loved one, then you should not blame yourself and invent different complexes for yourself. You should not delve into the past and remember good moments, this will only make the feeling of sorrow stronger, and loneliness will manifest itself even more. Give yourself some time to relax, take a break from everything - find a few positive moments in your state. After all, you have enough time to take care of yourself and do something that was impossible in a relationship. You need to feel yourself not as a lonely person, but as a free person who does not need to report to anyone for his actions.

After a few days of rest, it is worth going out into society and making the most of your day so that there is no time for sad thoughts. This is a good opportunity to make a career, gain new skills and knowledge, and take up your favorite hobby. Enjoy every day, and also try to communicate more with positive people who do not experience difficult days in their lives, they will help you tune in the right way. You can visit different entertainment places if you really want to, do not do it by force, otherwise it may backfire. And never regret the past, because the future depends only on you.

If you feel lonely because of the death of your loved ones, then the situation is slightly different, and only time will heal this feeling. You should not forget your loved ones, but you need to understand that you can no longer help and change something too. So take it for granted, but keep on living. And a busy day is also a good way to get rid of bad thoughts. When a person gets very tired during the day, then at night there is no time for worries. And over time, loneliness will become less acute, and communication with other people partially compensates for this.

I will never be with someone who treats me like trash. Slavery is worse than loneliness.

The most disgusting thing is loneliness: and there are thousands of people around…

Even when you lose love for the next, thousandth time, and loneliness bites into you with vile tentacles, filling your nature with sadness, hope still glimmers inside.

What, you don't believe your eyes? Yes, that's how ugly I am! Drunk, with a cigarette in my mouth, tears will not stop running ... I want to be weak! Leave me alone! Alone with sadness…

Best status:
I hate it when a person flirts with you, musi pusi, and is all so affectionate on VKontakte, and then on the street once - and does not even say hello!

Run away from those who do not appreciate you at all!

And again only contact breaks loneliness. Tea, sweets, music... and other attributes of sadness that won't help you at all right now.

I'm not a whiner. But sometimes in the soul it becomes so empty that loneliness covers with the head and sadness settles in the heart!

I smile but my soul plays notes of melancholy…

Loneliness can completely enslave. And even when a loving person appears, it doesn’t get any warmer!

there is emptiness in my heart, as if I am alone in the world…

My neighbors from above flooded my neighbors from below. Conclusion: Everyone is ignoring me!

Loneliness is a certain absolute. The only one that exists. Everything else is a product of our imagination, an illusion.

Loneliness is when you hear how the clock is ticking? No! Loneliness is when it rains and there is no one to hug you..

The soul is suddenly empty. There is no fault in this. Feelings die just like that...

Don't be jealous of my loneliness. I don't understand this jealousy. Sometimes a person wants to be alone, alone…

Do you love freedom?! Free!

It is better to be unknown, but happy in love, than brilliant, but lonely

The night sky, sparkling stars, the moon illuminating the road, dreams, complete silence and short loneliness - this is all that made her happy ... But loneliness now interferes . ..

Life at the very top can be quite lonely, but it is a great place to express your opinion. Then we become like animals driven into a cage. We start throwing ourselves at the walls and howling at the moon

When the most beloved, dear person to you ... is very far from you ... and you miss him madly ... for me it is ... loneliness ...

Every morning she makes me hot sandwiches. I affectionately whisper to her, "I'm on my way, I'm on my way... Now." But she never understands me. Maybe because she's a microwave?

I am alone. Why do I need someone? I will be alone again. All efforts are fruitless. Thanks to all. All are free

Each creature has a pair. Where is my creature?!

Loneliness is when you are and when you seem to be gone.

What does loneliness mean? For me, this is when I go to the kitchen in the middle of the night to drink water, and there is no one to ask, “Where are you going?”

nothing screams louder than silence…

I am so alone at this hour that I want to die. I have nowhere to go, I destroyed my world, Only a candle cries for me at a cold dawn..

I am alone… in the whole world… I am so lonely among you… you unhappy people… who do not understand… all life… because life is a lie…

There are five of us… Me and four walls…

savoring the zest of life... I can't tell an annoying voice to tell you what to do...

Real fighters for their place under the sun have neither allies nor friends. They endure loneliness because they are strong in spirit

Loneliness is when you are surrounded by wonderful people, but they have someone closer than you

Parting does not always mean the end. Sometimes it's just the opening of a new page in life

When I'm alone... it seems to me that I'm completely alone... And when I'm with people... it doesn't seem to me... I know it for sure...

Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house, but the alarm clock rings 🙁

- Why do you always wear headphones? “They are like an airbag between me and the rest of the world.

Loneliness is happiness because then we do not know lies, betrayal, fear of losing a loved one, we just live for ourselves (

I'm lonely, and you're lonely... But we won't take a single step to meet each other.

Beautiful girls are never alone, but often they are lonely…

Loneliness – in 4 corners you look for the fifth one.

Loneliness is when you reply to spam and add it to your contact list

Loneliness is when you know exactly who screwed up in the kitchen

Proud loneliness is a cheap excuse for uselessness

Deep loneliness is when you walk down the street in the evening, and you even have mosquitoes don't bite…

But she was happy, And she didn’t know tears at all… Through the pain and the cry: “I am strong!” She whispered: “I'm tired…”

When you're alone, you even have sex with yourself. Every lonely person can invent his own world, as God once did

I don’t feel my heart, I don’t feel my hand… I decided it myself, silence is my friend… I would rather sin… Loneliness is torment…

You are sitting on a chair with a straight back, and your soul lies next to you in a lump, tightly hugging your knees with your hands, like a wounded, but faithful dog

We are all, to some extent, doomed to loneliness. Every one of us will get it sometime...

I will marry a jar of coffee and I will always be cheerful and happy. my lover will be an mp3 player, the record holder for the number of melomanic orgasms brought to me

Loneliness is when there are a lot of people around, but you cannot fully cherish any one of them.

There are 100 contacts in the phone, but there is no one to call…. There are 500 friends in contact, but you don’t know who to write to ... And only real friends call and write first. They don't need a reason

When you are alone for ages, you become very picky about food and sex.

Only a candle at the cold dawn cries for me...

Life is too short - you shouldn't spend it pitying yourself in vain, sitting alone. There is a spark inside everyone, you just need to ignite it in order to warm yourself with life-giving warmth, wake up and dare to live on.

Only in loneliness can one see in oneself what society does not allow to see

The moon and the sun converged on my horizon. Day and night have changed places. I live, I breathe, but not with you….

Are you lonely? Do not miss the opportunity to enjoy the company of an intelligent person

How tired I am of hearing “I want you”, I want to hear “I want to be with you!”

I know what loneliness is: A bitten piece of chocolate, a cup of strong coffee, music that already hurts my ears, an unbearable emptiness in the depths of my soul and tears in my eyes…

I’m not looking for anyone, I don’t regret anyone, I don’t love anyone , I don’t suffer, I don’t believe ... I don’t call anyone, I don’t forgive anyone, I don’t owe anyone - so I don’t promise ...

It is nice to experience loneliness when you are in love with someone, even if not mutually. It develops the imagination. Only in solitude can a person show his true nature.

People often remain lonely because instead of building bridges, they build walls.

loneliness is when only shampoo is watching you in the bath

loneliness is when you hear the clock ticking? …

Loneliness is when you go crazy, and you can't even tell anyone about it. ..

I'm so lonely at this hour that I want to die.

I have nowhere to go, I destroyed my world,

Much depends on us. Until we ourselves want to break out of our shell of loneliness, no one will help us with this

There are 100 contacts on the phone, but there is no one to call .... There are 500 friends in contact, but you don’t know who to write to.…

For some, loneliness is when they are unloved, someone is lonely because he has no friends, And I am lonely when you are not around…

In search of little green men, she ambushed herself in the bathroom, armed with a kitchen knife and a screwdriver. Loneliness disturbed the peace of mind. I think it's time to put on a straitjacket...

I'm lonely not because I have a bad temper. I am lonely because I think outside the box

I crawl under the covers, and loneliness quietly creeps up on me, presses against my back and strokes, strokes, strokes my arms, chest, neck ...

Love is when the heart beats faster, and separation - this is when every minute it seems that it is about to stop . ..

Loneliness is when they forgot to pick you up from the morgue…

I love the music of the rain, when my heart is lonely…

He held her tight and tried to feel that wondrous scent of perfume that emanated from her before. But I felt only the bitter smell of cigarettes, alcohol and loneliness...

We parted, but every minute I keep your image in my heart. I didn’t fall out of love, and for the life of me, I can’t believe this separation…

I sat and looked at the sky… there was one cloud… and I realized that it was me…

We are no longer links in the same chain, we are no longer part of the same whole, he will no longer wake me up in the morning with a kiss... Does anyone have a love pill?

Love is when the heart beats faster, and separation is when every minute it seems that it is about to stop...

Night. I sit and smoke and stare out the window. Sadly, there is no one to talk to, no one is waiting for my call. I look at the stars and think: “How many of us are so lonely in the world?”

I'm alone! Why do I need someone? I will be touchy again! All efforts are fruitless, thank you all! All FREE

I'm lonely. .and for some reason I like it...

Empty people gather in packs. Loneliness is like death for them. The rulers of the world look down on everyone and seek solitude. I don’t belong to either of them, and I take loneliness for granted

…don’t look that I’m Highness, save me from loneliness…

Sometimes I want to wrap myself in a warm blanket, get an old photo album and listen to the rain outside the window . Deal with loneliness! Go outside, run through the puddles and you will see a rainbow

Alone and alone are two completely different concepts. At a noisy party, you can also be lonely. And this is a state of mind

Loneliness is when you wake up from a call in the middle of the night, you are glad that suddenly someone is needed, but all your expectations are broken off by the phrase “Sorry, I just made a mistake (s) number”

Not all life is full of turbulent events, there are moments when you are left alone ... It becomes sad and lonely. What to do in such moments, how to cheer yourself up?

What to do when sad

When a person is sad, he needs to cheer up, but how to do it. .. The advice is actually very simple. But trust me, they are incredibly effective! Among them, everyone will find at least 1 effective way for him to cheer up.

Turn up some cheerful music or a song (must be rhythmic) louder. Force yourself to get up from the couch, spin in front of the mirror, sing along, dance. It is forbidden to turn on romantic and sad melodies when you are sad, as they will only aggravate the situation.
Decide that you need something to pamper and please yourself. For example, buy a chocolate bar or ice cream.
Set aside the #-th amount of money you don't mind and go shopping. You don't have to buy in bulk. Having bought some little thing for yourself, the mood will already rise! New clothes always have a positive effect on the mood and well-being of a person.
Remember your favorite business, hobby. You probably haven't done this in a long time. The taste for life will return, and you will relax and feel pleasure.
Pick up some friends, go to the movies for a comedy.
Learn more

How to fight sadness and loneliness

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