Death anniversary gifts


18 Unique Death Anniversary Gift Ideas

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure.

Everyone deals with death in different ways. Some people like to let death anniversaries come and go, while others prefer to spend the date surrounded by family and friends. 

Overview: Our Top Picks

Death Anniversary Gifts

  • Personalized Scented Soy Candle ($22.95)
  • Personalized Memorial Garden Stone ($19.98)
  • Personalized Picture Frame ($31.99)
  • Lavender and Rosemary Aromatherapy Basket ($27.99)
  • Fleece Blanket with Sleeves ($19.99)
  • Hidden Message Cuff ($14.97)
  • Personalized Wind Chime ($59.98)
  • Wooden Treasure Keepsake Box ($35.99)
  • Scrapbook Photo Album ($24. 99)
  • Custom Coffee Mug with Photo ($11.86)
Jump ahead to these sections:
  • Death Anniversary Gifts for Someone Who Lost a Parent
  • Death Anniversary Gifts for Someone Who Lost a Spouse or Partner
  • Death Anniversary Gifts for Someone Who Lost Another Family Member
  • Death Anniversary Gifts for Someone Who Lost a Friend

If you know someone who’s marking a death anniversary, you might want to give them a thoughtful gift. Giving your loved one a death anniversary gift can let them know you’re thinking of them and that you’re there to support them through their grief. 

So what should you give as a death anniversary gift? We’ve compiled some thoughtful gift ideas for a death anniversary, whether it’s for a loved one who lost a parent, someone who lost a spouse, or anyone else in your life marking a death anniversary. 

Death Anniversary Gifts for Someone Who Lost a Parent

Most of us eventually face the deaths of our mom and dad, whether it’s early in life or later on. But that doesn’t make the loss of a parent any easier. 

If someone you love is marking the anniversary of a beloved parent’s death, consider giving them one of these caring gifts.  

Not ready to start your will?

It's a big step and we get it! Share your email and we'll remind you in a few days.

Thank you for subscribing. Expect an email soon!

1. Memory jar

A custom memory jar is a thoughtful gift that can keep on giving for days, months, and years to come. A memory jar is a large glass container where your loved one can collect thoughts and memories about their departed parent. 

If they have people over to mark the death anniversary, your friend can leave the memory jar out on a table and ask visitors to share an anecdote they shared with the deceased. 

We like the Top Shelf Family Memory Jar from Amazon.

2. Commemorative candle

Candles aren’t just a decorative way to make a room smell nice. They’re also a useful tool in grieving the loss of a parent and in remembering the life of a loved one.

A commemorative candle with the name of the departed or a meaningful quote on it is a perfect death anniversary gift. 

We like the Personalized Scented Soy Candle from Amazon.

3. Garden stone

If your loved one spends a lot of time outdoors tending the garden, or if that was their parent’s pastime, consider a memorial garden stone. You can have a garden stone engraved or painted with a custom design that commemorates your loved one’s departed parent, making it a great death anniversary gift. 

We like the GiftsForYouNow Personalized Memorial Garden Stone from Amazon.

4. Engraved photo frame

For some, displaying photos of departed family members can help keep meaningful memories alive. Placing photos around the house might do the trick well enough, but it can be even more meaningful to put those photos in custom-engraved picture frames.

If your loved one likes to keep photos on display, consider having a photo frame engraved with the parent’s name or a special quote.  

We like the Lifetime Creations Personalized Picture Frame from Amazon.

Death Anniversary Gifts for Someone Who Lost a Spouse or Partner

It can be difficult to choose a gift for the death anniversary of your loved one’s spouse. But giving your loved one a token of sympathy, no matter how small, can help them feel less alone. 

If your friend, family member, or loved one is going through their spouse’s death anniversary, consider the sympathy gift ideas below. 

5. Self-care package

Acknowledging a death anniversary of a spouse is emotionally taxing. When your loved one is going through such a trying time, they might need a boost of self-care. You can help by providing a care package filled with things like bubble bath and chocolate.

We like the Lavender and Rosemary Aromatherapy Basket from Amazon. 

6. Night out

While they might enjoy a night in pampering themselves, your friend or family member might also need a night out. As a death anniversary gift, you can offer your loved one dinner at their favorite restaurant or a drink at their favorite pub (on you). 

» Get help from GoodTrust: Easily close down and memorialize your digital accounts with GoodTrust's Executor+ plan. Only $90 per account. Learn more

7. Soft and cozies

Anything that makes a person feel comfortable and cozy is a good death anniversary gift. Consider soft and fuzzy blankets and throw pillows, slippers, a robe, or cozy socks.

We like the PAVILIA Premium Fleece Blanket with Sleeves from Amazon. 

8. Spa gift card

You could also treat your loved one to some professional pampering for their spouse’s death anniversary. Consider a spa gift card for services like manicure and pedicure, a facial, or a massage. 

Death Anniversary Gifts for Someone Who Lost Another Family Member

No matter how long it’s been, whether just one year or more than a decade, death anniversaries are emotional occasions. And a death anniversary can commemorate the loss of any family member, from aunts and uncles to sisters-in-law. 

If someone in your life is marking the death anniversary of any family member, you can give them one of these gifts to show your support. 

9. Memorial jewelry 

You can find unique memorial jewelry that’s engraved with a symbol or quote your loved one may find meaningful. Alternatively, you can have a necklace, charm, or bracelet custom-engraved with a quote or with the name of the departed. 

We like the Joycuff Hidden Message Cuff Bangle from Amazon. 

10. Wind chime

A wind chime is a special death anniversary gift that can remind your loved one of their family member every time the wind blows. A memorial wind chime can be pre-engraved, or you can have one custom-engraved. 

We like the GiftsForYouNow Personalized Wind Chime from Amazon. 

11. Keepsake box

Your loved one likely has some small items, notes, and trinkets from their beloved family member that they want to keep safe. A memorial keepsake box is a perfect gift for a death anniversary in that case. 

We like the WE Games Old World Wooden Treasure Box from Amazon. 

12. Housekeeping gift card

Mourning a loved one on their death anniversary is stressful, and it can be hard to take care of regular household tasks. You can relieve that burden for your friend or family member with a housekeeping gift card. 

» Get help from GoodTrust: Easily close down and memorialize your digital accounts with GoodTrust's Executor+ plan. Only $90 per account. Learn more

Death Anniversary Gifts for Someone Who Lost a Friend

It isn’t just family members who leave a lasting mark when we experience their loss. Grieving a close friend can be just as difficult. 

If you know a loved one who’s passing the death anniversary of a beloved friend, consider these gift ideas. 

13. Memorial playlist

If your loved one’s deceased friend was your friend, too, you might have a list of songs your group listened to together. If so, you can put all of those songs together to create a memorial playlist.

Give the playlist to your loved one on a CD or send them a link to a digital playlist.

14. Tree sapling

If you want a death anniversary gift that gives you a chance to spend time with your loved one and your loved one has outside space, a tree sapling may be a perfect choice. Together, you and your loved one can plant the sapling and say a few words for the departed. 

15. Sparklers

Lighting a candle can be meaningful, but lighting sparklers and fireworks can add a touch of fun.

For a unique death anniversary gift, consider giving your loved one some colorful sparklers that you can light together in their friend’s honor. 

16. Memory book

A memory book is like a photo album, but even better. With a memory book, you can include photos, as well as letters, small keepsakes, quotes, stickers, and more.

As a death anniversary gift, you can create a memory book that’s ready for your loved one to fill with memories of their friend.  

We like the Vienrose Scrapbook Photo Album from Amazon.

17. Photo mug 

Another unique alternative to a photo album is a photo mug. To give a photo mug as a death anniversary gift, you’ll just need to find a picture of your loved one and his or her departed friend together. Have that picture printed onto the mug to create a one-of-a-kind memorial gift. 

We like the Custom Coffee Mug with Photo from Amazon. 

18. Memorial donation

You can give your loved one a death anniversary gift that helps other people, too. For the anniversary of your loved one’s beloved friend, consider making a donation to a charity in that friend’s name. 

If possible, you can even create a crowdfunding campaign for the donation to raise more funds. Make the donation to a charity that the friend and your loved one would find especially meaningful.

Finding the Best Death Anniversary Gifts

Not everyone likes to receive gifts on the anniversary of a loved one’s death. If you’re not sure whether or not your friend or family member likes to acknowledge their loved one’s death anniversary, just ask.

If they decline, instead of giving your loved one a death anniversary gift, you can send them a text or give them a call to ask how they’re doing. You might feel like you don’t know what to say on a death anniversary. But there’s never any harm in simply checking in with someone you love and care about. 

Death Anniversary - Etsy.de

Etsy is no longer supporting older versions of your web browser in order to ensure that user data remains secure. Please update to the latest version.

Take full advantage of our site features by enabling JavaScript.

Find something memorable, join a community doing good.

(1,000+ relevant results)

What to give for a funeral?

The word "gift" is almost never associated with death and funeral, the gift seems to be an element of celebration and fun. However, going to a funeral, many people think: “do not come empty-handed?”. Indeed, various traditions allow the possibility of donating various objects on the day of the funeral. Which ones and for what purpose, this article will tell you.

Funeral gifts for funerals

Why give something on a day of grief and mourning? The fact is that giving a gift is a way of expressing one's feelings, accepted in human communities since ancient times. Bringing something as a gift, we show respect and show concern, although, of course, a gift at a funeral should be different from a gift, say, for a wedding.

These days, funeral arrangements or cremations are usually handled by dedicated funeral companies, and they offer a typical range of goods and accessories that can be donated to people who are burying a loved one.

The main types of funeral gifts are:

  • flowers
  • obituary
  • money

Also, a gift for the relatives of the deceased can help with the housework or provide some services.

Flowers and mourning wreaths

The most common type of funeral gift is flowers. Even in ancient times, in this way they expressed respect to the deceased and condolences to his relatives, and to this day the tradition has not changed much. There is a special "language of flowers", according to which various plants and their combinations carry a different meaning - by choosing them in the right way, you can express your feelings most fully. Bringing flowers as a gift for a funeral, it is customary to put them at the coffin of the deceased, and not hand them to his relatives - however, this gift is considered to be intended for both the living and the deceased at the same time.

In Russia, it is customary to present a composition with an even number of flowers to the deceased. Tradition explains this by the fact that in each pair of flowers of such a bouquet, one is intended for the deceased, and the other for God. Usually mourning bouquets are made from two to eight flowers of the same species. If they make a flower arrangement, then for men it will be more asymmetrical and contrasting, and for women it will be of the correct form and restrained.

The older the deceased, the more dark flowers are used to decorate his coffin, but this tradition is not mandatory - you can give any flowers, especially those that the deceased loved during his lifetime. Just remember that soft colors are suitable for expressing grief. As a rule, florists decorate the bouquet with mourning ribbons - gold, black or colored, but restrained shades. The bouquet is not wrapped in a rustling or bright film, but the wrapping paper is removed in front of the coffin. Donated flower arrangements are usually placed next to the coffin, and individual plants are placed on the burial shroud.

The poppy is considered a symbol of dying: the Greek god of death, Thanatos, wore a wreath of these flowers on his head. It is impossible to make a bouquet of poppies (it is forbidden to grow, it blooms for one day and does not live in a cut form), so artificial flowers can be used. Very similar to wild poppies, red anemones, this plant is an ancient symbol of sorrow. But the most popular mourning flowers in Russia are red carnations, and the second most popular ritual plant is a rose. These flowers can be given both as part of bouquets and as separate branches.

Iris is considered a "male" funeral flower, but hydrangeas, gladioluses or dahlias can also be bought for men's funerals. Some prefer to give lilies, but they should not be placed too close to the face of the deceased, so as not to stain it with pollen. At the funeral of a woman, it is customary to bring pale pink buds with a delicate smell. Unmarried girls are buried in their wedding dress and their grave is decorated with white flowers. Traditionally, orchids and tulips are considered feminine. Deceased children are brought miniature bouquets in light shades. It can be callas, violets, spray roses. When compiling a flower arrangement, remember its proportionality to the grave of a child.

Obituary

As strange as it sounds, an obituary can also be a gift. In general, an obituary (from the Greek "nekros" - dead and "logos" - word) is a text created to honor the memory of the deceased, usually published in the media or placed in a public space. For example, it is common practice to place obituaries on the walls of an institution. While the publication of obituaries has traditionally been associated with the death of famous people or public figures, today an obituary can be created for anyone - on their own or with the help of specialized funeral homes.

The purpose of an obituary is to inform the audience about the death of a person and to pay respect to the deceased, and therefore it is quite appropriate as a gift at the funeral ceremony. Such a gift is atypical, but is gradually gaining popularity. You can order an obituary to be published in some newspaper and bring it to the funeral, you can print it separately and read during the funeral, and then post it somewhere in a conspicuous place.

Usually an obituary contains a brief description of the life of the deceased, a list of his services to society and organizations, the causes of death and condolences to loved ones. Also, the obituary may contain information about the time and place of the funeral, if it is intended to be distributed before the funeral ceremony. Both independent composition of the text and the appeal for its creation to professional authors are allowed. Stylistically, obituaries are usually designed as follows: a restrained and concise tone, a strict font, a black ribbon or a frame around the text.

Regional and local media, specialized obituary publications, online resources, or even advertising billboards are suitable for posting obituaries - it all depends on your desire and available funds. The main conditions that should be observed when posting an obituary in a public space (on the Internet or on the street): respectful content, aesthetic design and the absence of texts on a radically different topic nearby - for example, you should not place words of condolence among dating profiles or advertisements for building materials.

IMPORTANT! Obituaries can be published free of charge in many small newspapers published by municipal governments - a space in the issue is regularly provided for this. If you want to make such a gift - take an interest in such an opportunity. The text, of course, in this case, you still have to write yourself.

A peculiar version of an obituary can be the so-called "memorial page" - a text and an album of photographs of the deceased posted on the Internet. Such a page can be created using special services or by creating a small site on your own on some affordable hosting. You can design such a page completely arbitrarily - it is only advisable to try to make it aesthetic and convenient for viewing both on computers and on mobile devices. Such a page can be preserved for a very long time, and will carry the memory of the deceased to the next generations without them having to travel long distances to see the grave.

Money as a gift for a funeral

Money is a universal gift suitable for giving both joyful and mourning occasions. Usually at a funeral, cash gifts are all the more valuable because death usually means more expenses and a decrease in family income. For people who are not very wealthy, handing over an envelope with banknotes can be much more an expression of sympathy than colorful speeches or stately flower bouquets.

Giving money at a funeral should be done by placing it in a modest envelope and not showing off the amount being given. It is advisable to accompany this gift with words of condolence, however, if it is difficult for you to communicate with the relatives of the deceased, the gift may also be anonymous.

An offer to share the costs of arranging a funeral, erecting a monument, or carrying out mourning events is also an acceptable option for a cash gift.

Household help

What can give the relatives of the deceased, who are going through hard times, any person is his hands, his time and other resources. On the troubled days of organizing a funeral, any help may be needed: with the transportation of the body, with paperwork, with the preparation of the ceremonial and its conduct, with the organization of refreshments for guests, etc. Perhaps the relatives of the deceased will even need your opportunity to host guests from distant cities for a few days.

The closer you know the organizers of the funeral and the relatives of the deceased, the more appropriate and natural your offer of help will be, but no one will condemn even an unfamiliar person who is ready to spend his time and energy helping with the funeral or arranging life after burial.

Unusual gift idea for a funeral

You can give the relatives of the deceased such a thing as an interactive memorial sticker: this is an image with a QR code that will encrypt detailed information about the deceased or a full-fledged obituary. By pointing a smartphone at this QR code, a person will see much more information about the deceased than can be embossed on the surface of a tombstone. Also, a prayer, a biblical quote, or even a link to the deceased's favorite melody can be encrypted in the QR code.

What to present for a wake

It is also customary to give something to the relatives of the deceased on 40 days or the anniversary of death. Of course, after weeks, months or years, the pain from the loss of a loved one is no longer so acute, so a gift can be more diverse items, one way or another connected with the commemorated. It can be a book dedicated to the deceased, a portrait, jewelry, or even a themed treat from the deceased’s favorite dishes. You can also use as a gift some memorable object from the common past of the donor and the deceased, or return to relatives what the deceased once gave to the giver. Such a mourning gift will be received with attention and remembered for a long time.

May 13, 2022

You may be interested:

  • Burial gifts of the past
  • Contemporary funerary gifts
  • What to bring to the funeral?

Funeral advice

call

+7 (495) 100-3-100

Leave a request for a call

on the day of the funeral, for 9 and 40 days, half a year and 1 year, how many sweets each, things of the deceased

Orthodox Christians have a tradition to commemorate a deceased person by handing out things and sweet treats. In different areas there are different customs, there are differences in what and how are distributed on different memorial dates. These beliefs explain how many sweets should be in each bag prepared for funeral alms, what exactly is given to those who came to the funeral, for 9th, 40th days, for six months and a year. Advise when to give the things of the deceased. However, theologians are sure that trying too strictly to observe all these rites is not only unnecessary, but even harmful. Indeed, in commemoration, the main thing is respect for the deceased, prayers for the repose of his soul and a good memory of his earthly deeds.

Contents

  1. Significance of the tradition of giving gifts at the wake
  2. What is distributed at the wake at different times
  3. What is handed out at the wake on the day of the funeral
  4. What is given for 9 days in memory of the deceased
  5. What is given for a wake for 40 days
  6. What is given at a wake for 1 year and six months
  7. How many sweets are distributed at a wake
  8. Spoons and mugs
  9. Is it obligatory for 40 days give away 40 items
  10. When the belongings of a deceased person are distributed
  11. What to do with the funeral offering

The meaning of the tradition of giving gifts at the wake

The Bible does not clearly indicate when the things of a deceased person are distributed, and explain when and what exactly to give at the wake commemoration. The custom of giving something to people who came to commemorate the deceased goes back to the ancient pre-Christian rites of Kievan Rus. With the advent of Christianity, these traditions began to be supported by Orthodox priests. The commemoration of the deceased is a charitable deed. Items obtained in this way should be constantly used and remind of the deceased. They need to be used carefully so that the bright memory of this person is preserved longer. The more often they remember him with kind words, the better his soul in the afterlife. They say that a dead person who has been forgotten, who is not remembered, does not find peace. Those who have forgotten his relatives begin to be disturbed by insomnia and nightmares.

Items received as a gift at the wake do not carry negative energy. They retain the positive message of the giver, the warmth of his words spoken during the gift.

What is handed out at the commemoration at different times

In most cases, it depends on the traditions adopted in a particular area. Therefore, the list of things and treats that are distributed on different funeral days in different parts of the country can differ markedly. In some areas, only spoons are given from dishes, believing that other items can preserve the sad energy of a funeral. In other places, they give mugs, plates, saucers, etc. and do not see any danger in them, only a bright memory of the deceased. Depending on the adherence to these rites, several such gifts can be made. For example, on the day of the funeral, hand out handkerchiefs, for 9day - cups, and for 40 days - spoons. Or you can limit yourself to any one gift made at the funeral. For example, a handkerchief or towel donated at the wake on the day of burial. All these items must be new, not belonging to the deceased. Usually they are purchased in preparation for the funeral.

What is handed out at the wake on the day of the funeral

People who come to the funeral usually receive handkerchiefs, small towels as a gift. Sometimes, according to the traditions of a certain area, small pieces of soap may be added to them. Depending on local customs, handkerchiefs or towels may be distributed before the start of the funeral or after the end of the memorial dinner. By all means, those who attended the meal are given treats of sweets, pies, cookies, gingerbread, boiled eggs, etc. The same bags with sweet alms can be distributed to oncoming people on the way from the cemetery. Handing this gift, they ask to pray for the deceased, remembering his name in prayers.

According to legend, until the first three days after death have passed, the belongings of the deceased are not distributed. Traditionally, up to 40 days they try not to touch anything in the room or house of the deceased. But in fact, the church does not at all forbid distributing things of the deceased at this time. On the contrary, it is believed that the more people pray for the deceased and commemorate him, the better his soul. Relatives who came to the funeral from afar should certainly give those things that they want to take away in memory of the deceased, and ask them to pray for the repose of his soul.

What is given for 9 days in memory of the deceased

Panikhida and other memorial services are ordered in the church on this day. On the way to the temple, you can distribute memorial alms. A treat prepared in advance is given to people they meet, neighbors, strangers, the poor, etc. At the same time, they are asked to pray for the soul of the newly deceased, while naming him. Nothing that is placed on the memorial table on this day should be thrown away. Even the crumbs scattered on the table must be collected and given to the birds. Belief says that by pecking them, they will deliver prayer to the Lord faster. The remnants of the meal are distributed to the poor or given to guests who have gathered for the wake. Theologians assure that there is no bad energy in the food from the funeral table, it will not harm the one who eats it.

What is given for the wake 40 days

At this time, things of the deceased are most often sorted out. Relatives and friends take for themselves those items that will remind them of the deceased. The remaining neat and clean items suitable for wear and use can be taken to the temple so that they can be helped to transfer them to those in need. If possible, you can give them to the poor yourself. Priests advise giving away as many things as possible for further use, and not throwing them in the trash.

What is distributed at the commemoration for 1 year and half a year

Commemoration for half a year is a relatively new, not universally established folk tradition and is not considered obligatory according to church canons. On this day, it is not necessary to have a memorial meal. Sometimes only the closest people of the deceased are gathered at such a table, or they manage only by distributing sweet treats to relatives, friends, neighbors and acquaintances of the deceased to remember his soul. On such days, when ordering funeral services, alms are served in churches for the repair of the church, for temple holidays, for fresh flowers, and other needs. To do this, they leave money in special boxes placed in temples.

Year 1 is considered the more significant date. It is important to start this day with a prayer for the repose of the deceased. After that, they usually go to the temple to order a memorial service, commemoration at the proskomedia, magpie, lithium. They consecrate kutya for the funeral table. Anniversary commemoration is also a reason to leave monetary alms in the temple. In addition, food is left on the memorial table, which is then distributed to the needy or used to prepare temple meals. It can be any long-term stored products. For example, flour for baking prosphora, cereals, jams, pasta, sweets, bread, fruits, etc. You can bring Cahors and lamp oil. On the anniversary of death, it is considered charitable to donate money or any things to nursing homes and orphanages. A sweet treat of sweets, cookies, pies, gingerbread and other pastries, as on other memorial days, is distributed at a commemoration for a year to all those gathered for a memorial dinner and to people they meet on the way to the temple or to the cemetery.

How many sweets are handed out at funerals

In some areas there is a belief that there must be an even number of sweets in a funeral bag, as well as flowers brought to a cemetery. In other places, even with treats not related to the commemoration, they give an even number of sweets. It doesn't really matter how many pieces are served. Funeral sweets are distributed not at all to strengthen superstitious rites and not for resentment for their incorrect performance. This commemoration is needed so that people, eating sweets, commemorate the deceased and wish him a sweet heavenly life in eternity. Treats of sweets, cookies, pies, etc. are usually handed out at a wake, brought to work to ask colleagues to remember the deceased.

Spoons and mugs

These items can be distributed on the day of the funeral, who came for 9 days or forty. According to tradition, at the end of the memorial meal, those who came to commemorate the deceased simply take with them those spoons they ate. If the commemoration is organized in a cafe or restaurant, they usually warn that no one takes the institution's inventory with them. To distribute such a mention, devices are specially prepared that can be given away before the guests leave. At the same time, good wishes are extremely important. Things and treats given with bad thoughts will not benefit the spirit of the deceased.

There is an opinion that the round shape of spoons and cups preserves the good energy and warmth of the words spoken at the table especially well. Like any other dishes, spoons or cups received in memory of the deceased should be washed. To carry out any specific rituals inherent in pagan beliefs (with salt, fire, etc.) is not only unnecessary, but even harmful. In Orthodoxy, superstition and rituals associated with it are considered a sin.

Is it obligatory to distribute 40 items for 40 days

Of course, there are no requirements for performing this superstitious rite. The Bible says nothing about this belief. Theologians agree that it is not the number of items distributed or bundles of refreshments that matters. Much more important is the remembrance of the deceased, prayers for his soul and bright memories of his earthly life.

When the belongings of a deceased person are distributed

A lot of superstitions have accumulated around the belongings of a deceased person. For example, it is believed that things should not be touched and distributed until the 40th day from the moment of his death. That you must not leave the things of the deceased in your house, use them or wear them. You can't go into his room and clean it. In fact, theologians do not insist that all things must be given away. They do not indicate the exact time when this should be done. Some priests say that those items that are intended to become alms can and should be given before the onset of the 40th day. Indeed, at this time, the soul of the deceased requires a special prayerful commemoration. During these terms, it is decided where exactly the soul of the deceased will end up: in heaven or hell. The grateful prayers of the people who received these things will help the spirit of the deceased.

Only the heirs can decide how to deal with certain things left after the deceased. At the same time, it is important not to fall into superstition. Do not rush to distribute everything that is, immediately after the funeral. No need to strive to give out 40 things for forty. It is important that the result of this alms is a sincere prayer for the repose of the deceased. 40 days after death is a time that is especially painful for the relatives of the deceased. At this time, they usually do not make important life decisions. But, if a person suddenly appears who needs a particular item or several things that previously belonged to the deceased, and there is no reason to keep it in the family, you must certainly give it away. In this case, there is no need to specifically wait for the 40th day. In order for things to continue to serve people, you can ask for help from special points for collecting things for those in need. Of course, all items intended for donation must be clean and in good condition. Therefore, there is no sin to wash the things of the deceased before giving them to those in need. Broken and dilapidated things that can no longer be used, of course, will simply have to be thrown away.

The memorabilia of the deceased should certainly remain in the family or be given to those people who would like to take them in memory of him. They can and should be worn, they can and it is important to use. The superstition that the negative energy of the funeral or some sins of the deceased can pass into things and bring trouble to the house does not apply to the Orthodox faith. Often using these items, people will more often remember the deceased and offer prayers for his repose. It is only important that these items are not forgotten, not removed away into closets and pantries, because this is the path to oblivion of a deceased person. From cleaning in the room of the deceased, too, should not be abandoned. The interior, covered with a thick layer of dust, speaks only of disrespect for its spirit. Even in those places where everything remains “as in life”, in the cells of the deceased holy elders or in the museums of famous people, repairs and cleanings are certainly made.

What to do with a memorial offering

When accepting a gift, they certainly wish the Kingdom of Heaven to the deceased. It is best to use the received things in everyday life, each time remembering the deceased. That is what they are designed for. Do not be afraid of the negative energy of the funeral, it does not accumulate in these items. But still, if there is no desire to use such things and keep them at home, they can be given away. For example, you can bring it to the temple and put it on a special table for alms, give it to someone or give it to those in need. The Church sees no sin in this.

Almost any of the funeral alms carries the most important task - a reminder of the deceased and a request to pray for his repose.


Learn more