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Bpd woman in love


How to Make It Work

If your partner is living with borderline personality disorder, and you’re not, you may be curious about how to overcome obstacles together.

When you love someone who lives with a mental health condition like borderline personality disorder, it can present scenarios you may not be used to.

If you spoke French and your partner spoke Italian, would you insist they only speak your language? Probably not.

A healthy relationship may involve meeting each other in the middle.

Together, you can work through challenges.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) isn’t a personal choice. It’s a mental health condition, and it can be managed.

Can a person with borderline personality disorder feel love? Absolutely! They may just have a hard time expressing it or establishing some stability in their relationships.

Many of the core symptoms of BPD are things that most people can resonate with to some degree, says Mallory Frayn, a clinical psychologist in Montreal, Canada.

“It’s just that the frequency and intensity of these symptoms exist on a spectrum from more interfering to less interfering,” she says.

Someone with BPD will experience these symptoms intensely and persistently and in many situations.

But empathy and patience can make all the difference.

“This involves being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand why they might be thinking or feeling what they are,” she explains. “If you can tap into an aspect of your own experience where you have felt similarly, it can help.”

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder

Only a mental health professional can accurately diagnose BPD.

In sum, for this diagnosis to be reached, someone must persistently display five or more of these symptoms across most situations:

  • significant efforts to avoid abandonment at all costs
  • tendency to see others as black or white (the best vs. the worst)
  • pattern of unstable relationships
  • tendency to behave in “intense” ways
  • changing habits, interests, and identity
  • potentially self-damaging impulsivity, like substance use, overspending, or reckless driving
  • long-standing feelings of emptiness
  • emotional instability or frequent changes in mood
  • hard time controlling anger
  • symptoms of dissociation or paranoid thoughts

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You and your partner may have learned different approaches to love, which can present unique learning opportunities for the two of you.

Keeping in mind that some of your partner’s behaviors aren’t a personal choice, but instead a symptom, may help you keep things in perspective.

It’s highly advisable that you also focus on your emotional needs, mental health, and personal safety. Their willingness to work on managing their symptoms isn’t up to you.

Professional support can help, but it’s important that the person makes the decision to seek help.

Where you ‘stand’ may shift

When you’re dating someone with BPD, there are times when you may go from being the hero to being the villain in their eyes.

This is called “splitting,” a symptom where you’re perceived as either all good or all bad. It’s sometimes a reaction to emotional pain. To manage it, they may need to make you the “bad guy” for a while.

Your partner may even take the extra step and ask for a break.

This doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care about you. They may be having a hard time putting emotions into words, or they may be fearing you leave, so it feels easier to end the relationship before you do.

You may find it helpful to give them space to cool down and request that you revisit the conversation at a later time, to get clarity on where you truly stand.

Reassurance may be necessary

You may find that your partner needs more reassurance than you do.

Research shows that living with borderline personality can make it difficult to trust that people won’t leave.

Your partner may spend a lot of time looking for clues about how you truly feel, like analyzing text messages, ruminating over conversations, or testing you.

You may be asked to provide extra reassurance through your words, actions, or physical affection.

When it feels natural, it’s a good idea to openly express how you feel as often as you can.

Reactions may need an explanation

Sometimes those who live with BPD can hyper-read the room.

One challenge with this, though, is that they may sense something in your facial expressions or tone of voice that you don’t necessarily feel or that may not be associated with them.

For example, your partner may think you look bored and conclude you’re not happy with them. You may actually be adding up the tip for the bill in your head.

Know that your partner may ask you to clarify your facial expressions, tone of voice, or messages often to make sure that you’re understanding each other.

You may also face some misunderstandings, so it’s a good idea to avoid getting defensive when your partner misreads you. Clarification and reassurance will go a long way when dating someone with borderline personality.

Goals may shift and change

It may be difficult for your partner to work at a job where they feel challenged, criticized, or rejected. In fact, research shows that they may impulsively quit, or cut ties with important connections, then later regret it.

Knowing this ahead of time can help the two of you prepare for the future. You may want to discuss a savings account or a backup plan, so you’re aligned when it comes to finances.

Social media may be a presence

Research has found that those who live with BPD may use social media more than those who don’t, perhaps for validation and reassurance.

The same study found that some people may abruptly cut off others, like unfriending or blocking them. Try not to take it personally if your partner does this to you in the heat of the moment.

Also, if you feel like you’re competing with your partner’s phone, ask for what you need. For example, request to eat dinner just the two of you, sans screens.

You may also find that expressing your appreciation in social media may make them feel more secure in the relationship. If this is something that feels OK with you, try posting photos together or adding romantic comments to what they post.

There are some ways you can strengthen your partnership by working together on a few strategies.

Listen to understand

You fell in love with this person for a reason. Even during difficult moments, remember what that is, says Lynn Zakeri, a licensed clinical social worker in Skokie, Illinois.

“Learn. Educate yourself. But most importantly, be a good listener,” she says. Think about what your partner is trying to tell you, underneath their emotions and behaviors, she adds. Ask yourself, what are their intentions?

“If you meet them where they are, versus trying to change them to meet you where you are, you will be able to progress easier together,” says Zakeri. “Validate and acknowledge, even if you don’t agree.”

You may also want to consider expressing your needs to be listened to and encouraging your partner to double-check before assuming how you feel.

What this sounds like:

“I hear you saying that when I showed up late, you thought I didn’t love you anymore. Let me tell you how I feel.”

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Improve your communication skills

Effective communication takes work, but it’s the glue that holds your relationship together. You may find it useful to:

  • write down what you want to say and ask your partner to do the same
  • take deep breaths before you speak
  • focus on one problem at a time
  • keep open body language
  • use “I” statements

Also, don’t be afraid to slow things down. “When we respond automatically to emotions, we tend to do and say things that we could later regret,” says Frayn. “If you feel like things are starting to get heated between you and your partner, take a ‘time out’ and come back once you’ve both cooled off a bit.”

What this sounds like:

“I need to walk around the block and calm down. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep talking about this. I just need to chill. Let’s resume in X minutes.”

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Enlist the help of a couple’s therapist

Couples therapy can create a safe and neutral space to express your feelings and concerns, says Amber Weiss, a licensed psychotherapist in New York City.

“A couple’s therapist can guide you by asking the right questions and help both parties feel understood and heard,” she says. “The therapist can mediate, educate, and support you as you work towards a more balanced and healthy relationship.”

What this sounds like

“I’m not going anywhere. Let’s work on this as a team. Can we try couple’s therapy?”

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Navigating a relationship when one of you has BPD, and the other does not, can be challenging at times.

However, this isn’t an impossible task, says Weiss. “By utilizing different forms of support such as a therapist, educational resources, and patience, you may be able to work together to achieve a happy medium in the relationship.”

“BPD will be a part of your life,” she adds, “but it doesn’t have to take over the relationship.”

The Drama of Loving a Borderline

Source: Stas Knop/Pexels

Caring about someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. Being a borderline (having BPD) is no picnic, either. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time, and in severe cases, on the border between reality and psychosis. Your illness distorts your perceptions, causing antagonistic behavior and making the world a perilous place. The pain and terror of abandonment and feeling unwanted can be so great that suicide feels like a better choice.

If you like drama, excitement, and intensity, then enjoy the ride—because things will never be calm. Following a passionate and immediate beginning, expect a stormy relationship that includes accusations, anger, jealousy, bullying, control, and break-ups due to the borderline’s insecurity.

Nothing is grey or gradual. For borderlines, things are black and white. They have the quintessential Jekyll-and-Hyde personality. Fluctuating dramatically between idealizing and devaluing you, they may suddenly and sporadically shift throughout the day. You never know what or whom to expect.

The Drama

Borderlines’ intense, labile emotions elevate you when they’re in good spirits and crush you when they’re not. You’re a prince or a princess; a bastard or a bitch. If you’re on the outs with them, all their bad feelings get projected onto you. They can be vindictive and punish you with words, silence, or other tactics, which feel manipulative and can be very destructive to your self-esteem. Unlike bipolar disorder, their moods shift quickly and aren’t a departure from their normal self. What you see is their norm.

Their brains heighten the intensity and negativity of their perceptions and feelings. Their emotions, behavior, and unstable relationships, including work history, reflect a fragile, shame-based self-image, often marked by sudden shifts, sometimes to the extent that they feel nonexistent. It's all made worse when they’re alone; thus, they’re dependent on others. They may seek advice frequently, sometimes from several people on the same day, asking the same question.

They react to profound fears of abandonment with needy and clingy behavior and/or alternate with anger and fury that reflect their own skewed reality and self-image. They’re desperate to be loved and cared for, yet are hypervigilant for any real or imagined signs of rejection or abandonment should you, for example, be late, cancel an appointment, or talk to someone they see as competition. For them, trust is always an issue, often leading to distortions of reality and paranoia.

You’re seen as either for or against them and must take their side. Don’t dare to defend their enemy or try to justify or explain any slight they claim to have experienced. They may try to bait you into anger, then falsely accuse you of rejecting them. They may gaslight you to make you doubt reality and your sanity, even try to brainwash you. In their desperation for caring, they often behave in ways that feel like emotional manipulation and abuse. Cut-offs of friends and relatives who “betray” them is common.

Although they try to create an intimate, romantic merger that is very seductive to those unaware, they equally fear it, because they’re afraid of being dominated or swallowed up by too much intimacy. In a close relationship, they must walk a tightrope to balance the fear of being alone or of being too close. To do so, they manipulate and control with commands or indirect maneuvers, including flattery and seduction, to reel in their partner and use their anger and rejection to keep him or her at a safe distance. Whereas narcissists enjoy being understood, too much understanding frightens the borderline.

Their Partners

Because borderlines are dependent, they find someone to merge with to help them. They seek a person who can provide stability and to balance their changeable emotions. Narcissists and people who act self-sufficient and in control of their feelings provide a perfect match. They’re easily seduced by the borderline’s extreme openness, charm, and vulnerability. In addition, the borderline’s passion and intense emotions are enlivening to non-BPDs, who find being alone depressing or “healthy” people boring. These partners vicariously come alive through the melodrama provided by the borderline.

The borderline may appear to be the more dependent underdog in the relationship, while his or her partner is the steady, needless, and caretaking top dog, but in fact, both are dependent on each other. It can be hard for either of them to leave. They each exercise control in different ways. Their partners are often codependent individuals who also yearn for love and fear abandonment. They already have low self-esteem and poor boundaries, so they placate, accommodate, and apologize when attacked in order to maintain the emotional connection in the relationship.

Partners become emotional caretakers. They do so sometimes to the point of self-sacrifice or enabling. In the process, partners give over more and more control to the borderline and further seal their low self-esteem and the couple’s dependency. Placating the borderline and giving them control does not make either partner feel more safe, but the opposite.

People with BPD need to feel loved and in control. They need boundaries. Setting a boundary can sometimes snap them out of their delusional thinking. Calling their bluff is also helpful. Both strategies require that their partner build their self-esteem, learn to be assertive, and derive outside emotional support. The relationship can see improvement when the partner takes steps to heal themselves and change their behavior.

Making the Diagnosis

Like all personality disorders, BPD exists on a continuum, from mild to severe. It affects women more than men and about two percent of the U.S. population. BPD is usually diagnosed in young adulthood when there has been a pattern of impulsivity and instability in relationships, self-image, and emotions. They may use alcohol, food, or drugs or other addiction to try to self-medicate their pain, but it only exacerbates it. To diagnose BPD, at least five of the following symptoms must be enduring and present in a variety of areas:

  1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
  2. Unstable and intense personal relationships, marked by alternating idealization and devaluation.
  3. Persistently unstable sense of self.
  4. Risky, potentially self-damaging impulsivity in at least two areas (e.g., substance abuse, reckless behavior, sex, spending).
  5. Recurrent self-mutilation or suicidal threats or behavior. (This doesn’t qualify for Nos. 1 or 4.) Around 8 to 10 percent actually commit suicide.
  6. Mood swings (e.g. depressed, irritable, or anxious) mood, not lasting more than a few days.
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
  8. Frequent, intense, inappropriate temper or anger.
  9. Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms.

Causes and Treatment

The cause of BPD is not clearly known, but often there has been neglect, abandonment, or abuse in childhood and possibly genetic factors. People who have a first-degree relative with BPD are five times more likely to develop BPD themselves. Research has shown brain changes in the ability to regulate emotions. Unlike narcissists who often avoid therapy, borderlines usually welcome it; however, before recent treatment innovations, its effectiveness had been questioned, which led to stigmatization.

Today, BPD is no longer a life sentence. Studies have shown that some people recover on their own, some improve with weekly therapy, and some require hospitalization. Long-term treatment is required for maximum results, with symptom relief increasingly improving. A 10-year study showed substantial remission after 10 years. Use of medication and DBT, CBT, schema therapy and some other modalities have proven helpful.

Most individuals with BPD have another co-occurring diagnosis, such as addiction and/or depression. Acute symptoms diminish more readily than temperamental ones, such as anger, loneliness, and emptiness and abandonment/dependency issues.

Borderlines need structure, and a combination of knowing that they’re cared about plus boundaries that are communicated calmly and firmly.

©Darlene Lancer, LMFT 2013

How a woman in love behaves, psychology

Relationship psychology

Photo
Getty Images

Understanding a woman is a task equivalent to scientific research. The behavioral characteristics of women are so subtle and varied that it takes a long time to learn to understand them and notice the factors of attraction. But unconscious actions come to the aid of a woman, which she herself may not notice. Family psychologist Olga Romaniv told us about such actions.

Family psychologist

She turns into a child

When a woman is in love, she can behave quite strangely. She wants to be perceived as a beauty queen, especially the one she fell in love with. And often this desire is accompanied by childishness. Women do not hesitate to speak in raised tones, shout, jump or laugh out loud to attract the attention of the object of their sympathy. Trying to understand the signs of a woman's love, you can see that her manner of speech, which, at first glance, sounds softer, is more suitable for a child. In addition, a woman will definitely create an image of childlike innocence. Love makes her do it.

Photo
Vasyl Dolmatov / iStock / Getty Images Plus / Getty Images

She shows keen interest

Women use characteristic techniques in conversation with their beloved men. If several young people participate in the conversation, then the woman will pay all the attention to the chosen one. She never interrupts and listens very carefully. She reacts to jokes with laughter (even if others don't find it funny). When a man tells serious stories, she has an emotional outburst full of sympathy.

Any topic, even if it is far from being understood, will be taken with interest. If a guy is fond of football and voiced this during a conversation, she will try to get carried away with this sport. An interested woman will do everything so that a man has something to talk about with her

Eye contact

The girl's look seems incredibly beautiful and charming - this is one of the signs that a woman is falling in love. Her eyes are filled with an indescribable mysterious radiance. Eye contact lasts longer than usual. On average, when talking between strangers, eye contact lasts 3 seconds. If a girl is interested in communication, eye contact increases to 5-6 seconds. In addition, when she looks at her chosen one, most of her brain, with the exception of those areas that secrete serotonin, turns off, and, turning away even for a second, she begins to think that she has definitely forgotten some very important detail that makes her look at it again and again.

Photo
Getty Images

Gives out any information (well, almost any)

A girl asks a lot of questions and wants to know absolutely everything about her potential man. But the girl also tells everything about herself in his presence - all women's secrets, dreams, doubts and emotions. A girl's trust is worth a lot. She is unlikely to share her secret with a stranger.

She prefers her chosen one to all others

When a woman falls in love, she often does not notice anything but the object of adoration. This is clear to everyone. All the rest will be secondary, less important compared to him. He will come first. That is, a loving woman will sacrifice a lot for him. In some cases, even she can sacrifice a dream to see him, and in almost all cases, she can easily leave her friends and be with him.

Photo
CoffeeAndMilk / E+ / Getty Images

She is aware of all the events of his life

All because she follows his social networks with interest. The algorithms of the latter are designed in such a way that they “throw up” to us those profiles on which we spend the most time. That's why the page of the beloved, on which the update appeared, will be the first to pop up in the feed. So, willy-nilly, she will know everything that he tells about his life, and even subconsciously rearrange her plans according to his activity.

Rita Lee

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  • relationships

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Signs that a woman is in love. How to know if a girl loves you? How does a girl in love behave? Soars in the clouds

Being in love changes everything for a girl. Literally the whole world suddenly becomes very, very different. And, of course, it affects behavior. Many people are interested in how girls in love behave. We will talk about this in this article.

Mood

Falling in love changes a person's hormonal background, and this immediately becomes noticeable. The girl seems to glow, radiates joy. Perhaps that is why the affectionate appeal "sun" is so popular. She really becomes like a local, intended only for her beloved, the sun. And from this it becomes attractive even for complete strangers. She gets more attention.

Falling in love is a joyful expectation. Therefore, the girl perks up when a young man appears, experiences a surge of emotions. Usually pleasant, although, of course, anything can happen. Some girls in this state begin to speak louder, interrupt others and themselves, and gesticulate more than usual. All this is like a holiday for which they did not have time to prepare.

Emotions

It is known that all emotions that a person experiences are determined by the ratio of hormones in the blood. It will not be difficult to figure out how girls in love behave, if you remember that their increased emotionality and sudden mood swings have a completely material reason. The body increases the content of hormones of the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, adrenal glands, which are part of the so-called "reward system". It is they who "make" the feeling of happiness.

Many people wonder how a girl in love behaves. She always hides from others, even if a little. Usually it seems to her that something extraordinary is happening to her that cannot be described and explained to others. Hence the sharp change in her behavior when the handsome prince appears. Even if the girl has always been equal in relations with people, now it is clear that she singles out one of them. While he is gone, she is absent-minded, often distracted from the conversation, and when he comes, she is confused. Perhaps the presence of the chosen one confuses her. Excitement is manifested in a blush, breathing quickens.

Lady in love. Communication

Guys are perplexed by how different girls behave when communicating with the same person. There is no mystery here. The girl is very friendly with those who occupy her thoughts and feelings, but only if he does not show interest in others. Having fallen in love, women begin to dislike anyone about whom her lover will respond with admiration. Even if he just saw that this woman is beautiful, the result will be some kind of jealousy. If he did at least something (turned his head, looked after him) - this can greatly hurt a woman in love, and, most likely, he will immediately find out about it.

Movements

How to understand that a girl is in love but hides? To find out, you need to pay attention to her movements and words. Even if she hides her feelings, she will unconsciously try to draw attention to herself. If you wish, you can learn to read these and at the same time take into account that the severity of gestures and facial movements can be different. A person who is restrained by nature will not wave his arms, even if he has completely lost his head from love. So for the correct interpretation of "body language" you have to be very careful.

How can you tell if a girl is in love? Signs and gestures will betray her. She keeps looking at the person she likes, and if he looks at her, she immediately looks away. Some girls listen to their gentleman with downcast eyes, but at the same time they often cast a short glance at him from under half-lowered eyelashes. You can see "mirroring". She repeats the gestures or posture of the interlocutor, as in a mirror, without noticing it.

It is not clear to everyone how to behave in love with a girl. I would like to say that it is better for her, of course, to be restrained. But awakening feelings make the girl make frequent and exaggerated compliments to the chosen one. If she does not have a very quiet character, she makes fun of him, but only on what he himself considers funny. A woman in love will not humiliate and ridicule someone who has suddenly become so important to her, and will not intentionally hurt. Rather, she will try to provoke the guy, for example, incite him to demonstrate her strength. The girl considers such a “feat in honor of a beautiful lady” a compliment to herself, her attractiveness.

How to recognize the signs of a girl in love? Very simple, if you carefully look at the person. Pay attention to how often the girl straightens her hair, shows her wrists, as if by chance touches her neck, ears, lips. Such gestures mean an invitation, the movements of the girl indicate that the young man is allowed to approach. She does not take her hand away if a guy touches her.

How does a girl show her feelings?

How does a girl in love behave? She tries, under some pretext, to be in the personal space of a young man or to place her personal belongings there (he tends to consider items belonging to a person as part of himself). The girl touches the elbow, shoulder or hair of a young man. If she is a bully, she can lightly poke him in the back or side. It is the touch that is important and it does not matter at all what kind. She asks him to hold the bag, she leans on his arm like she really can't balance, or puts her phone close to him (for example, showing interesting photos). The desire to taste the food from his plate belongs here - this is also a way to shorten the distance. Sitting opposite, she leans forward, puts her hands on the table in conversation. If young people are sitting nearby, then the girl shows interest by turning her face to the interlocutor. Her hands and knees are also turned in his direction. Sometimes she wiggles her leg. This means that she is very occupied with some strong emotions. Here, optional movements are needed like a valve, they release energy, which at this moment simply has nowhere to go.

She will be very attentive to everything the other person says to her. She is interested in the stories he tells, the places he has visited, his skills. However, she does not pretend. You can sometimes notice how her pupils dilate from interest, and a person is able to fake such reactions.

Actions reveal that the girl is secretly in love. Signs of feelings

If a girl is seriously infatuated with a certain young man, even if secretly, there are signs of a deeper change. Not only the mood, but also the actions become different. For example, there is a sudden change in clothing preferences. Instead of something comfortable, something appears (depending on the character) that is romantic, defiant, beautiful, or simply very expensive. Now she does a more thorough make-up and constantly remembers the need to check and renew it. Almost any woman, falling in love, begins to devote more time to her appearance.

She talks differently to those who attract her in private than in company. She willingly maintains a conversation on topics that occupy him, shows interest in his affairs and hobbies, passionately (to the extent of education and temperament) empathizes with his successes and failures, making it clear that he has a like-minded person. For example, if a young man is passionate about cars, she may well go to a driving school and courageously pass her license, even if she was not going to do it. Even if she is afraid. Simply because collaboration is one way to get closer.

Having fallen in love, a girl begins to take care of the comfort of the person she has chosen. She will reschedule or cancel meetings with other people (sometimes to the detriment of business) to see him. She prefers the company of a young man to communication with her friends, and to everything else too. You need very, very good reasons for her to refuse the opportunity to see someone who has become dear to her.

Giving presents without a reason is a sign of falling in love

Giving gifts without a reason, "just like that", very kind people and women in love. But the latter, in addition, are also inclined to take care. If some young lady was the first to rush to the sick person with oranges, warm socks and a miraculous potion, the recipe of which she received from her grandmother, one can hardly suspect her of indifference. Most likely, along with care, the patient will receive an infinite number of worldly advice. There is nothing to be done about it - she has found herself in a maternal role and therefore feels that she is obliged to advise and warn.

Lack of communication with boyfriend. What happens to the girl in love?

If a lover is nowhere to be seen for a day or two, and no one talks about him, a very violent reaction is possible. How to behave a girl in love in such a difficult situation? Emotions are a powerful fuel, and inaction is unbearable. Most likely, she will call mutual acquaintances. Or even drop in for a minute to visit, to accidentally hear something about him. And it is possible that she will start some kind of common event that simply cannot be arranged without this person. She will look at his pages on social networks ten times a day.

And the most serious sign of falling in love is that a girl starts planning her future. And so that in it there is a place for the chosen one. And there's nothing to be done, the future is important.

10 signs

Let's look at 10 signs that a girl is in love. They will appear when a lover appears. These features include:

  • the girl is “shining”;
  • worried, embarrassed, bullied;
  • changes behavior, mood, topic of conversation;
  • looks in his direction or defiantly turns away;
  • laughs out loud, even if the joke is not very good;
  • invites you into your personal space with gestures and movements;
  • asks mutual friends;
  • looking for an excuse to meet;
  • shows self-sacrifice;
  • the interests of the young person are given higher priority.

A small conclusion

Now you know what signs a girl in love can give out. A photo of some of these ladies is presented in the article. In these pictures you can see how the eyes of the girls burn in a special way. Love each other. After all, it is love that inspires!

At the initial stage of a relationship, the issue of signs of falling in love becomes especially relevant. Especially when it comes to girls. After all, it is especially difficult to understand the mood of an unfamiliar person. And the girls are still those coquettes. And to recognize the attitude of each specific of the fair sex, at first glance, not every guy or man succeeds. In this article, we have collected a set of signs, on the basis of which we can conclude that a girl is in love with you.

Long gaze

Everything that arouses interest in a person also attracts his gaze. If a girl keeps her eyes on you for too long, then we can definitely talk about her some interest. Although it's too early to talk about falling in love here. In order to verify the veracity of this conclusion, just follow yourself. And here you will definitely notice that when the object of adoration enters your field of vision, your gaze immediately focuses on this person. So this item is true not only for girls. This hypothesis applies equally to men.

Preening

This sign of a girl falling in love dates back to ancient times. And it is due to banal instincts. A lot of people have watched wildlife shows. And even without all these programs, it is clear that a girl in love begins to attract the attention of a guy she likes. And how can this be done so that it does not look too obvious and intrusive? Correction of curls of hair, blouse collar, coloring of lips in the presence of a man. Here, even the demonstrative narcissism of the girl in the mirror can speak of falling in love. And it depends on whether the girl wants others to know about her interest.

Desire to meet and communicate

A girl in love will definitely look for an opportunity to meet and communicate with a guy she likes. And absolutely any reason can be used for this. From a joint holiday with a big company to a chance meeting on the street. And such a meeting may not be accidental at all. It should also be remembered that a girl in love is shy and lost in words when communicating. If you notice a similar reaction of your interlocutor, then it is very likely that she is in love with you.

Caring

Men are used to being the ones to take care of girls. Indeed, a man in love tends to take care of his beloved. But this thesis is equally true in the case of girls. A girl in love takes care of her lover. And this concern is manifested in completely imperceptible at first glance trifles. This trait is determined by the maternal instinct that the girl projects onto her lover. Even if it's on a subconscious level.

Excessive joy

If a girl starts laughing loudly and beaming with happiness when she sees you, then this is a clear sign of her falling in love. Let there be such a manifestation of it not so often. But this is a sign of truly sincere sympathy and love. This should also include a violent reaction to a mediocre anecdote.

Access to personal space

Anyone with even the slightest interest in psychology has heard of the concept of personal space. This is the distance at which a person does not allow anyone other than people close to him. So, if a girl is calm about casual touches, rapprochements and other similar things, then you can do about the fact that she classifies you as close people.

Access to personal belongings

Again, this is the line beyond which a girl will not allow everyone. The most striking example of this is the mobile phone. If a girl calmly hands it over to you, then she completely trusts you. And trust relatives and loved ones. Well, beyond reality, access to a page on a social network. If a girl has given you such access, then she is not only in love with you, but is also ready to go to Siberia. Joke.

Easy flirting

This will not surprise anyone, but it is still necessary to remember such a sign as flirting. Flirting can be of completely different quality. From innocent to even arrogant. It all depends on the girl herself. But in the context of this article, we discard the second option. It is worth concentrating on light and innocent flirting, from which love relationships begin. Here is another sign that the girl has fallen in love with you.

Increased attention

A girl in love will always show you increased attention. And this concept is slightly different from a similar case with men. If a man demonstrates his attention through actions, then the girl pays increased attention to the words of a man. No wonder they say that women love with their ears. That is why the girl hears absolutely all the comments of her beloved man regarding appearance and behavior. If a girl began to rapidly change for the better for you, then this may not be accidental. Remember if you advised her to let her long hair go or put on those pretty earrings.

External changes

This item flows smoothly from the previous one. A girl in love gradually tries out the tastes of her lover and becomes more and more like his ideal. Pay attention, because it was because of you that the girl could make a different hairstyle, change the style of clothing, and generally change her interests and social circle. Here we are talking not only about falling in love. Now it's time to talk about true love. And these girls should not be scattered!

So we have analyzed the main signs by which you can determine that a girl is in love with you. Of course, each specific case is individual. But it is on the basis of these tips that you can understand as soon as possible if the girl is in love with you?

Women are by nature much more sensitive than men . Even the most restrained of the fair sex can cry over a sad movie while no one is watching.

And when it comes to falling in love, then you will see a woman in love a mile away. How to know if a girl loves you?

Her gait changes, her appearance changes, her eyes begin to glow with happiness, inspiration appears and it is as if a second wind opens up . At such a time, a woman in love can move mountains.

What does it mean to truly love? Learn about it from ours.

Psychology of a woman in love

How many different thoughts and feelings fall on a woman in love.

Involuntarily she begins to change her behavior, becomes sentimental , her thoughts are completely occupied with the subject of her sympathy. Do not sleep and sexual fantasy at such moments.

People who suffer from this addiction are completely immersed in their partner's life , losing himself as a person in the process.

They constantly think about what happened to the partner, why he/she doesn't call, “maybe something happened, it's probably worth buying a ticket to Vladivostok right now, where he/she is on a business trip, and fly there”.

Dependent relationships - non-ecological relationships, they can only destroy and destroy, they will not bring anything good.

There are a number of signs that a woman is in a dependent relationship:


Signs of a woman in love:

Some special situations require an analysis of your partner's behavior (in addition to the standard signs of falling in love, additional evaluation criteria are required).

How can you tell if a wife loves her husband?

Despite the fact that men sometimes seem cold and reserved, they also want to know if their loved one has reciprocal feelings for them, if that spark has been preserved in the relationship , which burned between you in the first years after the wedding.

There are several characteristic signs that confirm that your wife still loves you:

How do you know if you are loved or used? Psychologist's answer:

How to determine that a girl is in love, but hides?

In fact, you just need to observe the behavior of this girl. Some standard signs of falling in love appear involuntarily , they are hard enough to control, so that even the most reserved young lady can be "caught red-handed."

  • in love but hiding her feelings, girl often embarrassed shyly lowers her eyes down, quickly looks away if she notices that her lover is also looking at her;
  • the girl starts to get very cute excited, a slight blush lights up on her cheeks , if it is about feelings or her lover, she begins to translate the topic of conversation or even answers something in a trembling voice out of place;
  • the girl becomes overly constrained and modest. She can be speechless when talking to the subject of her adoration and even literally run away from him if their paths intersect.

Love is an amazing feeling. It can transform a person beyond recognition in a matter of days.

Girls in love are especially susceptible to such changes.

You can understand whether a girl is in love or not by looking at her behavior. Some salient features will help determine this.

How do you know if a girl loves you? 14 signs:

Women differ from men in highly developed sensitivity and impressionability. They prefer to speak out loud more often than to hide their feelings. That is why a woman in love can be seen from a mile away: her gait changes, her eyes shine with happiness, inspiration appears. In this state, the fair sex does everything, no matter what she has to take on.

A woman's emotional inner climate also determines her relationships with others. It is known that an angry woman can spoil the mood not only for herself, but for the whole family. In this case, the dinner she cooks will not be of special quality, but on the contrary, it will become very doubtful.

A woman's falling in love, if it has arisen, as a rule, spreads to everything that surrounds her, to which she touches. She gives joy not only to close people, but also to those who have at least a little contact with her during the day. Being at the workplace, a woman in love is able to give her attention to colleagues, employees, clients with whom she has to deal directly.

Signs of falling in love in women

It is possible to identify characteristic symptoms, behavioral reactions that allow you to track and understand that a woman has fallen in love. As a rule, such things are striking by themselves, and it is not difficult to determine them.

The desire to take care of and take care of

It is in the nature of a woman to take care of her husband and children. The wife and mother does this not out of obligation, but because, only by showing care, she feels truly happy. A woman just needs someone to give her warmth and tenderness. If suddenly there is no suitable candidate for this role nearby, she will feel deeply unhappy. A woman cannot live alone, for her it would be a great disappointment. Even if she is successful in business and is in high demand as a professional specialist, the respect of her colleagues and high income will not provide her with moral satisfaction.

How does a woman in love behave? She radiates goodness, love, self-confidence. Such a woman becomes truly beautiful, and natural data is not at all important here. Beauty is born from within. When a woman falls in love, everything inside her changes. She can suddenly become mysterious: sing gentle melodies, try to please her household and loved ones. Even employees at work notice visible changes in her mood and attitude: she begins to look beautiful, with dignity and fascinates with just one look. The charm of a woman is manifested at all levels, from everyday to social.

Cooking

Even if a woman is not particularly good at cooking, once she falls in love, she will definitely start hosting the kitchen. If you notice such a desire in yourself, want to learn how to cook deliciously and surprise your family with your culinary delights, this means that you are opening up as a woman. A woman in love definitely wants to surprise her chosen one. Therefore, even at the stage of timid courtship, she will begin to cook for him those dishes that she does well, and will also master several additional interesting recipes. At the very beginning of building a relationship, a woman almost always wants to demonstrate to a man in practice what a wonderful hostess she is. Often, her zeal really plays an important role in the development of relationships: it is no secret that men value home comfort and the fact that the future spouse knows how to cook ( read more about ). A woman who knows how to surprise a man in terms of gastronomy will always outperform one that has no idea which side to approach the stove from.

If cooking is a special pleasure for a woman, we can say that she is a rare lucky woman: a husband will carry such a wife in his arms and try to satisfy all her desires as much as possible.

Dreams of marriage

As mentioned earlier, a rare woman does not dream of getting married. Most girls, having reached the age of eighteen, one way or another, consider any male representative as a candidate for husbands. It happens completely unconsciously. Of course, not every guy is able to interest a particular girl, but if he aroused her interest, then the construction of grandiose plans for the future immediately begins in her head. A man may not even guess that they are already trying to conquer him, that they are dreaming and dreaming about him. And the girl’s heart is already included in the subconscious game, in which the subtly feeling will “win”.

While dreaming of marriage with a particular man, a young girl, most often, seeks to demonstrate her everyday viability to him, such as: the ability to cook a delicious lunch and dinner, the successful mastery of purely female activities (knitting, sewing), the intention to have a large and friendly family . In some cases, career-minded women find it necessary to talk about their plans for promotion. It is worth noting that men do not really like women who are ready to compete with them in business and affairs, therefore, the fair sex themselves do not always consider it necessary to mention this circumstance.

Desire to have children

It is in the woman's nature to be a mother. From time immemorial, it was women who took care of children, cared for them, devoted a rather long time to the process of their growing up and well-being. The desire for motherhood is an essential attribute for finding harmony and happiness.

A woman in love, having become interested in a specific man, involuntarily begins to build in her head the possibility of giving birth to a child from him. Moreover, her dreams are not connected with selfish goals (with the exception of some cases, but they are no longer related to love), but are dictated by a sincere desire to be realized as a woman. Most ladies cannot imagine their happiness without creating a strong friendly family. The desire to have one or more children depends on the material possibilities of the family and on its own intention. It should be noted that almost always it is the woman who initiates the birth of a little man. Men (especially young ones) are more career-oriented, so their wife's pregnancy comes as a surprise to them.

Pronouncing affectionate words

Even if a woman in ordinary life is the owner of a difficult character, then falling in love, she, one way or another, changes. This happens because she begins to think not so much about her own ambitions, but about how to please a loved one. Most women, starting to build new relationships, are transformed from the inside: they become more affectionate, behave courteously and delicately, do not argue with a man in anything. Internally, a woman is already set up to be her beloved faithful companion, an ideal companion in business, wonderful support. It is the wife, and not someone else, who inspires her husband to new discoveries and achievements, maintains his faith in himself. The affectionate word of a beloved wife is worth a lot.

Attention to one's appearance

Every lady by nature is arranged in such a way that she likes to show off in front of a mirror. And at the moment when a certain male representative attracts her attention, the woman simply begins to critically approach her image. If she is dissatisfied with something in her appearance, she tries to correct and transform it. In any case, she does not calm down until she reaches a state of satisfaction and harmony with herself.

If a woman before meeting a man did not use cosmetics, then this circumstance may induce her to start conducting similar experiments on herself. And all in order to please and make the right impression!

The symptoms of falling in love in girls are noted according to how much her usual behavior changes. Signs of a guy falling in love with a girl, as a rule, do not affect changes in appearance, at least not in a drastic way.

The state of falling in love in women

This immersion in the world of love experiences is characterized by increased sensitivity to criticism about one's appearance, vulnerability to external circumstances that prevent happiness with a loved one. At this time, it becomes quite easy to offend a woman, even if you only tell her the words that she intends to hear.

The state of falling in love with women can last for many years, or it can end suddenly. However, most women are more permanent than men and are focused on home, strengthening and developing family relationships. For a woman, divorce is a great tragedy, a failure in life, which they experience very hard and, if possible, try to compensate for something. If in marriage a woman does not receive due attention and care, then she would rather endure it than decide to break off relations. The representatives of the weaker sex are very slowly ripening for making serious decisions that can drastically change their fate, but having made such a decision, they no longer deviate from what was planned.

How long does a girl's love last?

A woman can devote her whole life to one man. Young girls who are just planning to get married sometimes do not realize the scale of the difficulties that they will later have to face. The following are significant factors that directly affect whether a girl will feel loved and the viability of her feelings towards a man.

The presence of a genuine feeling

If a woman loves, she is ready to forgive a man for almost any mistake, sometimes she can even come to terms with the fact that he has another. A woman in love is like the sun, which warms those around her with the warmth of her heart. A loving mother takes care of her children, pays due attention to her husband. She is doing well at work, she is appreciated and respected by her colleagues.

When a marriage is built for convenience, or feelings are lost in the process of living together, it becomes extremely difficult for a woman to maintain normal relationships. She feels a strong dissatisfaction inside herself, an unwillingness to perform the routine, monotonous work that previously inspired her. This includes cooking, laundry, cleaning. If all this is not joyful, the woman will feel extreme apathy, despondency, melancholy.

Presence of mutual understanding

Presence of common values ​​

When the moral ideals of a man and a woman coincide, they are more likely to build strong trusting relationships. How long this relationship will last depends largely on both. After all, love is partly determined by how much partners are willing to invest in its development. The presence of common aspirations and values ​​unites people, brings them closer to each other and allows them to share joys and sorrows together. When there are joint plans, dreams and ways to achieve what you want, the feeling can live for many years and only get stronger over time.

Thus, the state of being in love with women is a gift that one should try to keep as long as possible. The sooner a girl learns to express her feelings in business and caring for her lover, the stronger her family relationships will be, the more joy and satisfaction they will bring to her.

The world of human relations is filled not only with material goods and entertainment, but also with emotions and feelings. No matter what men say, they, like women, want to be loved. Nobody dreams of being deceived and used. Then a natural question arises about how to find out whether a girl loves and truly fell in love with you or not.

You can say different things, you can play different feelings, but you can never fake non-verbal signs. Therefore, now we will try to open the door to psychology and the non-verbal realm for you. If you are interested in such a topic as determining whether a girl loves you, then stay on this page and read everything to the end.

Can you tell if a girl has fallen in love?

Love often comes suddenly and unexpectedly. Sometimes the person himself is confused in his feelings and cannot accurately determine what he feels. But non-verbal behavior perfectly reveals all the secrets. You just need to be very careful and be able to decipher the information received, then it is quite possible to understand whether a person has fallen in love.

You made an appointment or were invited to a meeting. Prepare to be observed. Do not look at other beauties, but catch your lady with your eyes. So she saw your figure and immediately straightened her slightly drooping shoulders, which means you are lucky. You have already become the one who needs to be liked, you need to show your beauty and straight posture, present your unusual figure, and especially your chest.

And what did you think, if you are not needed, then why show off in front of you, you can also be a granny, who is hunched over by the past years.

Gestures and instinctive touches will prompt

The girl does not need to tell anything, her gestures themselves scream about her emotions, and it is easy to understand from them whether she likes a man, and even if she is in love with him.

So she rubbed her high forehead, touched the earring on her left or right ear, tugged at a strand of her hair, which means she wants to attract your attention, she planned to show how delightful and sweet she is.

Yes, you can object to me now. All ladies are different. But, I assure you, gestures appear independently of the desires of consciousness, and they betray the true essence. Of course, weather conditions must be taken into account. For example, in severe frost and gale-force wind, when the ears are cold, and the hair closes the beautiful eyes, then there is no time for verbalism.

Talking position

You have already met not for the first time, relaxing in a park or cafe. Then take a closer look at the position in which your lady is sitting. Psychologists say that crossed arms and legs are the pose of a closed person who wants to run away from the conversation and does not let you into his inner world.

But you know that girls are original and often contradictory creatures. And here is a woman who sits with her long legs crossed, inviting you into her arms.

Here, too, there are exceptions, when the two of you are freezing at the bus stop, and you are a complete blockhead, and she is cold and shivering from the cold. It would be better if you hugged and warmed her than read and decipher her non-verbal gestures.

Eye to eye

Popular rumor says that through the eyes you can try to look into the soul. So some girls think that they can read the essence of a young man through their eyes.

Therefore, if a lady often looks into your eyes, it means that she is interested in you, and she wants to know more about you. Of course, there are exceptions and nuances to this fad.

Falling in love is defined much better by the looks cast on men's eyes without a hangover or combat wounds. If your eyes are with black eyes or redness after nightly gatherings, then not only the lady, but also anyone passing by, will look at your sweet face.

Manifestations of embarrassment

A girl who is embarrassed by compliments, by your fleeting glance, blushes with excitement from touch, then there is no need to explain anything.

Everything is clear from the reaction of her hormonal system. Her body lets you know that the lady is worried. And since she is not at the exam and has not been guilty before her superiors, it means that her hitches and embarrassments arise precisely on the basis of love. The more nervous, shy and uncomfortable she feels in your presence, the closer to the fact that this woman has fallen in love with you.

Natural and not so natural reactions

In addition, to understand that a girl has fallen in love with you or at least is very interested, pay attention to how the girl behaves during a conversation with you.

If she looks into your mouth when various nonsense comes out of it, when she laughs at a joke that has been heard for the hundredth time, then she is overwhelmed with feelings of love, and her nervous system reacts to you with incomprehensible laughter or stupor.

How she wants you to touch, pay attention to her beautiful breasts, to her perfect figure. She can automatically rub her hands, fiddle with the cord from the phone, twirl the leg of a glass of wine in her fingers, or adjust the chain around her neck. All these signs indicate interest and an invitation to close communication.

How to determine love by the reaction of pupils

If you are familiar with human physiology, then remember that the amount of adrenaline rises from strong excitement in the blood. But how can you see this without laboratory research?

Yes, very simple. If you want to determine that a woman is in love with you, then look into her cute eyes. If the pupils are dilated, then adrenaline is already much higher than normal.

True, remember that if you measure the size of the pupil, then this procedure should not be done in the twilight or during a fright. Then the pupils will be dilated not at all from an overabundance of positive feelings.

Requests for help

Have you been talking for more than a day? Have you already figured out something for yourself? Don't stop there. They are very indifferent to you and have their own views if there are the most ordinary and incredible reasons for the smallest assignments and requests.

Review how your meetings are going. If a woman asks to fix a faucet, a door handle, clean a computer from dust, close a window, give a handbag that lies on a chair next to her, then you are no longer the fruit of her sexual fantasies, but an object with which you are ready to communicate not in theory, but on actual practice.

Is it hard to understand if a girl is in love?

But in general, the main thing is, is the girl in love or not? It is not difficult to figure it out, it does not require several years of study at the school of psychologists, although you will need awareness and attentiveness.

And then, even if the lady is a psychologist at heart, you can already read her gestures.

You need to know the non-verbal signs of women, then after a while, paying attention to them, you will even begin to read thoughts. Behavior and gestures often speak without words about all the thoughts and intentions of a person.

They reveal the secrets of many women's heads. Read all the non-verbal cues one more time and you'll sort out the real feelings without needlessly attacking. Errors are excluded here. This has been tested in practice by many men from psychologists and spies, and even ordinary pick-up artists, which we will talk about in the next article.

Well, this is where I end, I hope now you will be able to determine without me whether a woman has truly fallen in love and is interested in further closer communication, or these are just signs of ordinary social politeness. And of course, study further with us, for example, you can learn how to choose the right spouse for yourself, why women definitely want to get married in fact, how to make a girl fall in love with you and much more.

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