Are genderfluid people trans

Gender fluidity: What it means and why support matters

Take a moment — yes, right now — to consider your gender. Do you identify as a woman, man, or another gender: essentially, how would you describe your gender identity? How do you show your gender to other people through how you look or act — in other words, your gender expression? And has your gender identity or gender expression changed or stayed the same over time?

Questions like these can be especially valuable if you’re wondering about how gender identity and expression may shift as children grow up. And, of course, these questions may also resonate with many adults.

At times in my life, I’ve had shorter hair and a fondness for men’s dress pants and dress shoes. I’ve also enjoyed occasionally playing male roles in theater productions and dressing in costume as a man on Halloween. At other times in my life, I’ve had longer hair and frequently worn dresses and dangly earrings — and more feminine Halloween costumes. Although my gender expression has shifted over time between less feminine and more feminine, I have always identified as a girl or woman.

What is gender fluidity?

Let’s define a few terms. Cisgender means a person’s gender identity matches the sex — female or male — designated on their original birth certificate. Gender fluidity refers to change over time in a person’s gender expression or gender identity, or both. That change might be in expression, but not identity, or in identity, but not expression. Or both expression and identity might change together.

For some youth, gender fluidity may be a way to explore gender before landing on a more stable gender expression or identity. For others, gender fluidity may continue indefinitely as part of their life experience with gender.

Some people describe themselves as “gender-fluid.” As an identity, it typically fits under the transgender and nonbinary umbrella, which applies to people whose gender identity doesn’t match the sex assigned to them on their original birth certificate. (Nonbinary means a person’s gender identity doesn’t fit into strict cultural categories of female or male.)

Not everyone who experiences changes in their gender expression or identity identifies as gender-fluid. Nor does everyone desire gender-affirming medical treatment to change their body to better align with their gender identity.

How does gender develop and change?

People typically begin developing a gender identity in early childhood, around the age of 2 or 3. Gender identity develops within multiple social contexts: a person’s family, their larger community, and the society and historical time in which they live. Each of these may have very different norms and expectations about gender expression and gender identity.

For example, a child might live in a family that believes that gender is more complex than boy or girl, and encourages a diversity of gender expressions. That same child may live in a town where most people believe that boys should “look like boys” and girls should “look like girls. ” And this child might live in a society and at a historical time with similar gender norms as their community. Thus, this child may feel freer to have a different gender expression or identity at home than out in public.

For many people, gender identity and expression develop early and stay the same over time. For others, either one may change. While such changes can happen at any time during a person’s life, they’re more common during childhood and adolescence than later in adulthood.

What’s the difference between gender-fluid and transgender?

While some people develop a gender identity early in childhood, others may identify with one gender at one time and then another gender later on. For example, a person who was designated female on their original birth certificate may identify as a girl until adolescence, then identify as a boy for the rest of their life. This person would be considered transgender, but not necessarily gender-fluid.

Another person who follows this developmental arc may only identify as a boy until they are in their 20s, and then identify as nonbinary, and then identify as a boy again later in adulthood. This person could be considered gender-fluid, because they experienced one or more changes in their gender identity or gender expression. It’s wise to note, though, that they may never use the term gender-fluid as an identity label for themself.

Ultimately, anyone who identifies as gender-fluid is a gender-fluid person. Often, the term is used to mean that a person’s gender expression or gender identity — essentially, their internal sense of self — changes frequently. But gender fluidity can look different for different people.

How is gender fluidity related to health in children and teens?

Just like adults, children and teens who express or identify their gender differently from their sex designated at birth are more likely to experience prejudice and discrimination. These experiences may create minority stress that is harmful for their mental and physical health. Compared to cisgender youth, transgender youth are two to three times more likely to have depression, anxiety, self-harming behavior, and suicidal thoughts and behavior.

All communities have expectations around what’s “normal.” A youth who is gender-fluid may be at greater risk for prejudice and discrimination, because their shifting gender identity or expression goes against an expectation that each of these aspects of personhood develops early and stays the same over time. And the harmful interactions may not occur only with people who are cisgender. A youth who is gender-fluid may also face discrimination from some people in the transgender community who view them as “not really transgender.” Seeing a youth who dresses more femininely on one day and more masculinely on another day may feel confusing or even threatening to anyone with strict ideas about gender.

How can you support gender-fluid youth in your life?

I encourage you to think about gender fluidity as part of the diversity of human experience related to gender identity and expression. While acceptance is important in how we treat anyone, it’s especially important for children and teens.

Listen to youth and validate their experience of their gender. Everyone is the expert of their own gender.
Be patient, as a youth’s gender fluidity may be part of their gender identity development.
Support gender-fluid youth in making informed decisions about gender-affirming care, such as hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgeries.
Connect them to support and resources so they can talk to others with similar experiences. Gender Spectrum is a great resource for both gender-fluid youth and the adults in their lives.

Genderfluid: Definition, information, and more

A genderfluid person does not have a fixed gender. Instead, their gender may shift and change.

Genderfluid is a type of nonbinary gender identity. This means it exists outside of the gender binary, which refers to the idea of gender as being either a man or a woman only.

This article looks at what it means to be genderfluid, other gender identities, and how to be an ally to a genderfluid person.

Medical News Today uses definitions of sexual, romantic, and gender identities that come from LGBTQIA+ and ally sources. However, it is important to note that these identities are personal, and people may define them differently. Always refer to a person’s sexual, romantic, or gender identity the same way the person describes it.

People who are genderfluid may find that their gender identity changes rather than remaining fixed.

Genderfluid people may move between different genders throughout their life. Their gender may shift over a day, a week, months, or years.

Because gender identity is very personal and specific to each individual, people may see and use the term “genderfluid” differently. There is no standard definition for genderfluidity.

Gender identity

Gender identity is a person’s internal sense of their gender. A person may feel masculine, feminine, a mixture of both, or neither. People may also perceive themselves as another identity that falls outside these classifications.

Gender identity is also the name or label people use to describe their gender to others. A person’s gender identity may be the same as their sex assigned at birth, or it may differ.

As people gain a broader range of terms for describing gender, they may choose to use different terms over time to describe themselves.

Gender expression

According to Gender Spectrum, gender expression is how people present their gender to themselves and the world.

People may wish to express their gender through their clothes, makeup, hairstyles, voice, pronouns, body language, and more.

A person who is genderfluid may express their gender in any way they feel comfortable. There is no one-size-fits-all way for genderfluid people to express their identity.

For example, genderfluid people might present themselves as feminine, masculine, neutral, androgynous, and more. Genderfluid people may also change their gender expression however much they please.

Learn more
Learn more about gender identity.
Sex and gender: What is the difference?
What are some different types of gender identity?
What to know about gender pronouns

People may use the term “genderfluid” to describe their gender identity, or they may use it in combination with other identities. They may identify with another term entirely.

This section looks at some of the other identities that can accompany genderfluid.

Genderfluid vs. nonbinary

“Nonbinary” is an umbrella term a person may use if their gender identity exists outside the gender binary.

The gender binary is a classification of gender that recognizes only two genders: man and woman. If a person is nonbinary, they do not identify solely, or at all, with either category.

The genderfluid identity falls under the nonbinary umbrella. Some nonbinary people may identify as genderfluid if they have a gender that is shifting rather than fixed.

Genderfluid vs. genderflux

A genderflux person’s gender may fluctuate in intensity, or their gender expression may change over time, according to Polestar LGBT+ Community Center, a nonprofit advocacy organization.

People who are genderflux may also identify as genderfluid, genderqueer, or nonbinary. On the other hand, they may not.

Genderfluid vs. transgender

A transgender person is anyone whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.

Some transgender people may identify as a man or a woman, nonbinary, gender nonconforming, or another identity.

Nonbinary genders, including genderfluid, fall under the transgender umbrella. If a transgender person has a gender identity that changes throughout their life, they may identify as genderfluid.

However, a genderfluid person may choose not to use the term “transgender” to describe themselves.

Genderfluid vs. genderqueer

“Genderqueer” is an umbrella term for a person who does not identify with traditional gender norms — including gender identities, expression, roles, or expectations — according to Gender Spectrum.

People sometimes use the terms “nonbinary” and “genderqueer” interchangeably. Some people might view genderqueer as falling under the nonbinary identity, while others might not.

People who are genderqueer may or may not identify as genderfluid.

Genderfluid people may use whichever pronouns they prefer. They may change over time or from day to day.

Pronouns people might use include:

they/them/theirs
he/him/his
she/her/hers

An example of using they/them pronouns in a sentence could be: “They forgot their book — I will bring it to them.”

People may also use neopronouns, such as:

ey/em/eirs
ze/zir/zirs
per/per/pers

For example, using neopronouns in a sentence may look like this: “Ey is over there, let’s say hello to em.”

People may be genderfluid if their gender identity changes and shifts rather than remains fixed.

To help people find out which gender identity feels right to them, The Trevor Project suggests people ask themselves questions such as:

What gender do I want people to see me as?
How would I like to express my gender?
What pronouns make me feel most comfortable?

If the answers to these questions tend to change daily or over weeks, months, or years, a person might be genderfluid.

Exploring gender identity

People may want to try using different names, wearing different clothes, and using different pronouns to see what they are most comfortable with.

It may take a person time to discover their gender identity. They may have to try out a few different labels before they find one that suits them.

If the term “genderfluid” feels good to people, it might be a term they want to use.

Gender dysphoria

“Gender dysphoria” is a term that describes when a person feels uncomfortable with the sex they were assigned at birth and how other people perceive and identify them.

These feelings may be temporary or long-term, and they may change when a person expresses their gender as they please.

Some genderfluid people may experience gender dysphoria. However, a person does not have to experience gender dysphoria to be genderfluid, nonbinary, transgender, or otherwise gender nonconforming.

Within any type of relationship, genderfluid people may want to explain to a person that their gender identity is not fixed and may change.

A person may feel nervous about confiding in a partner, friend, or family member about their gender identity, but being fully comfortable and trusting the person will help.

People should be thoughtful and respectful of another’s gender identity and allow them to express their gender however they please.

Language

A genderfluid person may wish to ask a partner, friend, or family member to change the language and phrases they use to describe them.

For example, a person may want someone to refer to them as a “partner” or “spouse” instead of “girlfriend” or “husband.”

Instead of gendered terms such as “son” or “sister,” a person may want family members to refer to them in different ways, such as “kid” or “sibling.”

Offering praise and compliments may also differ. For example, a person may not want their partner to use gendered terms such as “handsome” or “pretty.”

Sex and sexuality

A genderfluid person may have any type of sexuality. They might be asexual, pansexual, heterosexual, and more.

A genderfluid person may also have different romantic attractions. They might be biromantic, aromantic, and more.

Every genderfluid person will have different preferences or limits for sexual activities. A person should always discuss what sexual activities are enjoyable and what is off-limits before or during sex.

Learn more about the different types of sexualities.

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, the first known use of the term genderfluid was in 1993.

However, this does not mean it is a new concept.

Many cultures have had forms of genderfluidity throughout history, for as long as 3,000 years or more. Many cultures have a history of multiple or shifting genders.

To discover more evidence-based information and resources for LGBTQIA+, visit our dedicated hub.

People may find online or in-person support groups to help them connect with others with similar experiences:

Gender Spectrum offers a range of support groups for pre-teens, teens, adults, parents, and caregivers.
Trevor Space is a support group from The Trevor Project for young LGBTQ+ people ages 13–24 years old.
PFLAG offers a range of support and resources for LGBTQ+ people, families, and allies.

Where to learn more

People may find the following resources helpful in learning more about being genderfluid or other gender identities:

Trans Student Educational Resources
It Gets Better Project

Allyship

Allyship is a way of supporting and being inclusive of all gender identities.

To be an ally to genderfluid people and the wider LGBTQIA+ community, a person can:

introduce themselves with their pronouns, display pronouns on social media or email signatures, and ask others which pronouns they prefer to use
use inclusive language
avoid assuming people’s gender
always refer to people how they have specified
respect people’s gender identities, even if they do not understand them

How to support someone who is genderfluid

To support someone who is genderfluid, a person can:

educate themselves about different gender identities and understand that gender is a spectrum
listen to an individual’s experience and accept their definition of their gender
be patient and open to a person discovering or developing their gender identity
support any decisions that a person may choose to affirm their gender
use and connect others to resources and guides that explain gender identities and expressions
suggest support groups or networks if people want to connect to others with similar gender identities

Genderfluid people have a gender identity that shifts and changes rather than remaining fixed.

People may move between masculine, feminine, or nonbinary identities.

Not "M" and not "F": how a person with a non-binary gender identity lives

Society

Johnny Dzhibladze is a 29-year-old St. Petersburg human rights activist who was given a female name at birth (but refuses to give it), speaks of himself in the masculine gender and calls himself a person with a non-binary gender identity. "Sobaka.ru" he told how he survived the persecution and pressure and found himself, refusing to finally decide whether he is a man or a woman.

How he talks about himself

For the last four years I have been working in the St. Petersburg LGBT initiative group “Coming Out”, coordinating the Trans*Mission program in support of the trans community and monitoring discrimination, in which we track cases of violence and other violations against LGBT people. We take it for granted that a person is who they perceive themselves to be, without any "what if". I usually refer to myself as a person with a non-binary gender identity or a non-binary transgender person.

I don't like it when people try to find out what's in my passport, what was in it before, if I want to change something in documents or in my body - as if what's under your clothes makes you a man or woman. When they ask if I had surgery, I usually answer that I had my appendix removed.

We take it for granted that a person is who he feels himself to be, without any “what if”

What does “not a man and not a woman” mean

used to divide people into men and women and expect them to comply with the norms of behavior, appearance, body structure. With this view, those who do not fit into the standards or consciously refuse them are perceived as "defectors". And there is an expectation-assumption that if a person does not feel conformity with the gender written in the birth certificate, then he is obliged to move in the “opposite” direction. That is, if a person was born a woman, but wants to change his gender representation, then he must become more masculine, even if he does not fully perceive himself as a man. Transgender is always understood as a movement from a male point to a female point or vice versa.

But the fact is that this is not necessarily the case, there are many more than two options, between "pure masculinity" and "pure femininity" there is a huge world, and for many people it is important to move freely through it. Someone does it this way, but does not fix it at the level of identity: you can be a cisgender person (that is, not feel an internal conflict with the gender assigned at birth), but be gender non-conformal, change your image, behavior, haircut, and, respectively, gender representation. But there are also those for whom it is important to realize and express their own identity, and to be accepted not as men and women, but as something else, alternative or completely outside the gender framework. Some even develop their own names for identities, this helps to understand and reflect on their sense of self and experience.

I believe that any approach to gender that is non-violent and non-harmful, that pushes boundaries and helps people achieve greater freedom, has a right to exist. If I spoke that language, I would define myself now as a gender-fluid demi-boy. But now I rather want to simply indicate that I am neither a man nor a woman. Even such a framework is too narrow for me, they would prevent me from developing and changing.

There are many more options than two, between "pure masculinity" and "pure femininity" a huge world

Parents

I have to say that I am very lucky, I come from a liberal family, I have supportive parents. Of course, this does not mean that I was immediately accepted. The whole process of painful conversations, conflicts, getting used to my chosen name and grammatical gender took about nine years, and I would not say that it is completely completed - it is hardly possible, anyway, any parent perceives the transgenderness of their child as a personal loss. But at some point they stopped being nervous, started talking about me in a way that was comfortable for me, I was able to calmly discuss my life and even my bodily situation with them. But it required a lot of patience - and mine, and mom and dad. Ultimately, it is a great happiness when parents see in you not a “daughter” and not a “son” (with all the constructs and stereotypes about a “good daughter” or “good son”), but simply their child, a native person who is strong connected with them, but lives his own, separate, not always understandable, but respected by them life.

I am from Moscow, part of my childhood was spent in America, all my life I have been in activist and human rights circles. My older teenage years were spent at the Intellectual School for Gifted Children, where everyone else, I was not the most amazing character.

Childhood

When I was little, I didn't care about gender, it was difficult for me to associate myself with someone in this regard. When children played mother-daughter in the kindergarten, I was always a dog or a unicorn, but then I did not reflect on this topic. I always did not fit into the norm, I was friends with gender-marginal people - either with some gentle boys with a high voice, or with brutal girls, but gender in our relationship did not play any role.

From childhood I was outraged by everything connected with the division into boys and girls, but I did not particularly protest: I had to go out in a dress to sing in the choir - I will sing, because it is beautiful. For me, it didn't mean that I should feel like a girl. At some point, I demanded to call myself Mickey Mouse and, accordingly, in the masculine gender, but I spoke about myself like this, sometimes like that. I switched strictly to the masculine gender only at the age of 17.

When I was in first grade, in the mid-nineties, I was taken to America, where I lived for two years. It was a very important experience, I was pulled out of my usual environment and sent to school without any adaptation, at the time of the move I knew almost no English. But it was cool, in three months I learned the language and soon I was already reading Jack London in the original. There the lessons were very free: we played the flute, chess, sat in the class the way we wanted, there was a lot of interactive and creative work.

Then I was abruptly returned to my previous class, and it became a real hell for me: uniforms, aprons, dresses, toilet by permission, a huge number of rules. Girls do not communicate with boys - and in America everyone was grouped solely by interests, and not by gender, even the toilet was shared. In the States, I became an extrovert, but here it was very difficult to socialize, for two years I hardly spoke, I avoided people. Former classmates did not recognize me - I left as a thin girl with pigtails, and returned plump, with a short haircut, in bright cool clothes, even then I didn’t wear skirts of my own free will. They began to bully me - and not only children, but also teachers, I began to lag behind, although I had never been stupid. I remember how in the third grade I cried almost every night, hid in the closet, did not want to go to bed, only not to get up in the morning and put on those stupid tights and not listen to bullying teachers. I still have sleep problems, I think this is an echo of those events.

When children played mother-daughter in kindergarten, I was always a dog or a unicorn

Role-playing games

It got easier when I read The Lord of the Rings in the seventh grade and became a Tolkienist. I took the name of one of the characters, a company formed around me, which called me by the name of the hero and called me, respectively, in the masculine gender. The role environment is a treasure trove of queer research, I honestly think it's about 70-80 percent LGBTQ people because it's safe to express yourself there. It's a lot less gendered, and I jumped at it because it was the only way I felt I could truly be myself and not be bullied. Among the role players there are many people who are not of this world, if you say there: “I am not a man, but a dragon”, no one will even be surprised, everyone will know and take into account that you are a dragon, whatever that means. I have often heard that these subcultures allegedly “spoil” teenagers, but I look at it differently: if a person has already got there, it means that he initially had such a request.

First relationship

At 15, I started my first relationship with a significant person, we were very attached to each other. My partner looked like a slender blue-eyed blonde, conformed to all the canons of female beauty, was six years older than me. But emotionally and mentally, he was a difficult person, he had dysphoria incomprehensible to others, he hated his body, he had no stable identity, no understanding at all of who he was in this world. I empathized with him, because I often felt the same way. At some point, he realized that he was not a girl, but a boy, threw away all his clothes, demanded to call himself a man's name and began to inject hormones on his own - for me it was sharp and painful, it all happened in just a couple of days. It seems to me that then I started transphobia, it seemed to me that he became so aggressive because of the drugs, although in fact, most likely, he was simply in despair that he was not being taken, and angry. I dissuaded him, asked him why he should “maim himself”, is it really so important - in general, I imposed all the standard transphobic crap. But he endured it all. Now he is happy and healthy, he completed the transgender transition a long time ago and has been socializing as a man for many years.

Aggressive environment

Transgender people began to appear in the company - and it killed me how aggressively masculine they were. All social interactions are built on gender and stereotypes associated with it, and for many this means that everything feminine and feminine is supposedly inferior, weak, not human enough, and most importantly, what you need to do is prove that you are enough of a man. And when someone who was assigned a female gender at birth realizes that he is a boy and begins to show it, cisgender men perceive this as a threat to their masculinity. Like, if you can consider yourself a man with female genital organs and a feminine appearance, then why did I serve in the army and constantly go to the gym? And if this is a story about a transfeminine transition (that is, in the eyes of the sexist majority, a story about how "a man decided to become a woman"), then it's even worse - "do you want to be a woman?" All these conversations caused me indignation and misunderstanding - why be a man if it means being an aggressive and insensitive asshole? At the same time, I knew that I was not a woman. And I asked myself questions: well, who am I then? And can I not decide? I wanted to be a combination of different genders.

Why be a man if it means being an aggressive and insensitive asshole?

I also had an unpleasant sexual experience, at a certain period of my life I looked like a teenage girl, and this is fraught with problems - harassment, cases of violence. I thought for a long time that my rejection of everything feminine was an internal misogyny caused by the fact that I was disgusted by the experience that I had when I was perceived as a "girl", and, roughly speaking, I do not want to be a girl, because it is unpleasant because of the neglect and violent attitude towards women in society. To some extent, perhaps it is. I dont know. On the other hand, I rely on identity, and not on how a person is perceived. And in this regard, I have never been a woman, just as I have never been a man.

In my late teens, I defined myself as an agender because any option was painful for me, I hated those moments when I was perceived as a woman, but I didn’t want to make a sharp turn towards masculinity, I wanted to get away from everything that imposed any gender on me. At the same time, I already studied at the university, where they addressed me as a girl.

Catholic Church

At some point I joined the Catholic Church and for several years I was a practicing Catholic. It may seem strange in combination with progressive gender views, but for me it had a lot of meaningful meanings. First of all, I was sure that God sees the real me, and not a boy or a girl, that I can be myself. Compared to the Orthodox tradition, I perceived the Catholic culture as more liberal, human-oriented, and flexible. I know other transgender and homosexual Catholics, this topic is not taboo, it is difficult to talk about it, but you can talk in the community, you can even get - to one degree or another - acceptance and support even from priests. It cannot be said that there is no gender in the Catholic Church - it exists, but it is alternative. For example, women are completely desexualized, such a “feminine” was closer and more comfortable to me. True, then I was kicked out of the church precisely for being transgender.

Language and gender

Language determines consciousness. In my freshman year, I developed a nasty habit of talking about myself in the passive voice. The feminine gender was unpleasant to me, I literally started to feel sick from it, and I was not ready to switch to the masculine gender. Therefore, I constantly said something like: “Yesterday I happened to be at a lecture. She was so boring that I had to sleep." It's a mockery of language, but I've been doing this for years, just to avoid gendering my speech. At first it seemed to me that this was a release: “Wow, you can speak without using grammatical gender.” But it’s easy in English, but in Russian it’s very difficult, every sentence forces you to choose between “he” or “she”. Then I realized that this crippled my psyche: I taught myself to speak and think in such a way as if I were not a subject, as if I were an eternal victim of circumstances. Where are my actions, my decisions, my life? Something was happening to me all the time. And this is also evidence that society excludes gender-nonbinary people, does not leave an alternative grammatical gender for us, does not allow us to be full masters of our own lives.

Why you have to decide on gender

Over time, I began to socialize more and more as a man (used a masculine gender, a masculine name, dressed so that I was read strictly as a guy), but still did not know what to do with my body. I talked about this with a priest, a psychologist, parents, a huge number of people. What I really needed was not their advice, but permission, which I could not give myself. At the same time, I really could not understand what I needed. I did not know about the existence of alternative options for transgender transition, they were not discussed even within the trans community. Not only doctors, but also other transgender people at that time were constantly trying to understand whether I was a real or fake transsexual, whether I felt “in someone else's body”, whether I hated my body enough to “deserve” some kind of right to sex correction. I really hated myself, but if I imagined myself with a flat chest and a dick, it didn’t get any better. But it was necessary to decide: if you are an eternal androgyne, then everyone considers you a child. There are rituals of growing up in the eyes of society, and becoming a woman or a man is probably the most important of them. They began to take me seriously only when I put on some kind of gender mask, but it was all very tortured, defiantly.

There are rituals of growing up in the eyes of society, and becoming a woman or a man is probably the most important of them

Studying at the university

including future civil servant diplomats, I could not afford a full-fledged coming-out, although I was very tired of passive voice, trying to understand who I am for these people. I was called to the board, and I forgot the name written on the sheet.

I had an epic coming out in front of a teacher in my third year. He was not much older than me, we solved educational issues in social networks - and there I was always in the masculine gender. The teacher asked me what it was about, I replied: “I don’t feel like a girl and would not like to be addressed by my passport name. I will be pleased if you call me in the masculine form. He received me perfectly, asked a bunch of quite correct questions, reassured me and convinced me that he understood everything, but the main thing was that I didn’t say anything to anyone else at the university, because the rest were not ready for this. It is interesting that later I had very similar conversations with several other young employees of the university. That is, in personal communication, everything suits everyone, everyone is ready to understand and accept, but they are afraid of society, the environment, norms and expectations, which, perhaps, do not really exist.

First public coming-out

A year later, I entered the Master's program at the Higher School of Economics, which is famous for its liberality and progressiveness. I decided to play on this reputation of theirs and immediately after the interview, which went very well, I said: “You noticed that I speak of myself in the masculine gender. I would like to be called Johnny, and my passport name did not appear on any statement. Otherwise, I won’t be able to study here.” They met me halfway: at first they made mistakes, but I was serious and indignant: “Our specialty is called Human Rights, so respect my rights.” And soon everyone got used to the fact that I was Johnny. During this period, I presented myself as a transparent guy, because being agender and non-binary seemed too complicated for me, I went into such jungle only with closer communication. First, I needed to be taken seriously, and for this it was necessary to pretend to be a boy or a girl. I've always been more comfortable pretending to be a boy.

In personal communication, everyone is happy with everything, everyone is ready to understand and accept, but they are afraid of society, the environment, norms and expectations, which, perhaps, do not really exist

Help and gender correction

On the other hand, several years have passed, I worked in the Russian office of a large international human rights organization. Even in this environment, I was not received ideally, sometimes situations arose that exposed transphobia - benevolent, polite, but still transphobia. In 2015, I passed a psychiatric commission and received a certificate stating that I have “transsexualism”, I was shown a gender reassignment and a change of documents, and began masculinizing hormone therapy. During this period, I came to the birthday party of my former boss and told her about everything. She was already drunk and said: "I'm happy for you because I see that this is important to you, but, frankly, I'm very sorry." It was very painful for me to hear this, but I did not explain or prove anything to her. This happens all the time - people have their own expectations about you, and if you do not justify them, they are outraged.

I am sure that I started the correction not in vain: not because I immediately grew a beard and became a brutal man, but because I finally realized that I have the right to change my body. There is a lot of liberation in this. But by taking the turn towards masculinity, I felt like I had betrayed a part of myself. To sort this out, I went to psychotherapy and have been doing it for four years now. In parallel, I see a psychiatrist and treat the psyche with medication. I have a couple of psychiatric diagnoses (not counting "transsexualism", which, of course, I don't consider a mental disorder per se). This often happens to those who have to face discrimination and pressure all their lives, to hide something, to doubt the reality of their identity, this entails depression and anxiety disorders. At the same time, the opportunity to change one's body and documents, to socialize in accordance with one's identity, can be a healing experience.

I quickly realized that I didn't need a radical change. When I was choosing hormones with an endocrinologist, I immediately said that I wanted an androgynous appearance rather than a masculine one. I have an atypical drug regimen, it is important for me to maintain a “neutral” appearance. Sometimes this is difficult: some doctors, for example, believe that this means that I was mistaken and in fact I am not a transsexual at all. But now I feel much more whole and even love my body, finally learning to respect it and take care of my health. Perhaps the point here is not only in hormones, but also in psychotherapy. I do not rule out that at some point I will give up drugs. But for our country, this is completely strange; doctors are ready to talk about the so-called rollback or reverse transition in a calm manner, except perhaps in the West. But this does not mean that I regret my choice - I want to be the person who has tried all the options.

I want to be a person who has tried all options

New body

My body has started to become more masculine, smell, muscles, proportions have changed, and now my stubble is growing. But it is interesting that now, when I feel more masculine, it has become cool and comfortable for me to show conventionally feminine features. Now it would never occur to anyone to consider me a girl (and if they do, it will no longer be offensive and painful for me), so I can freely express femininity. I can cover myself with sparkles and go dancing in a club. I can act cutesy, I can be gentle, emotional, I can allow myself to love cute, “girly” things. In general, everything that is not supposed to be a “real man”. I had to come to masculinity in order to feel from there a connection with femininity - more precisely, with those human traits that society for some reason considers "feminine". Still, it is difficult to exist gender-wise in a world permeated by gender. Denying both masculine and feminine in myself means for me to live with constant protest and pain. I lived like this for a long time and I don't want to anymore.

Now I can play with gender, it no longer defines me, but it can be an extension of my feelings and desires. I would like all people to have the opportunity to live like this: not to be constrained, but to explore themselves, to receive more qualified information.

Children

I would not say that I want to have children, but still it is important for me to leave myself this opportunity in case such a desire arises. There is a myth that transgender people who decide to make a medical transition lose any reproductive options at all. Because of this, I was afraid of hormones for a long time and did not start taking them. But years later, I studied the issue in more detail and realized that if I really want to, I can refuse drugs, restore the previous hormonal background, get pregnant and give birth. But the question is - is there a maternity hospital in our city that is ready for a boy giving birth with male documents? And how will the registry office react to the child and his parent, who are technically “mother”, but according to the passport gender “father”, what will they write on the birth certificate?

Unfortunately, limitations are not always in our heads - they are set by the world. We do not consider some possibilities, because the society, system or state does not want it to exist. The world is allegedly not yet ready to recognize the existence of gender-nonbinary people, although we have always existed. I would like it to be possible to have a dash in the passport instead of "M" or "F". Neither "M" nor "F" correspond to me.

It is difficult to exist as an agender in a world permeated with gender. Denying both masculine and feminine in myself means for me to live with constant protest and pain. I lived like this for a long time and I don't want to anymore

“Western values”

Transphobes like to repeat that everyone suddenly became transgender, but it’s not like that, we have always been, there was simply no language to speak freely about it, there was no way to find words, open up, change bodies and documents and build a comfortable life. Still often, conservatives in Russia claim that these are all “Western values” - this is generally terrible nonsense, everything is just the opposite. The modern binary gender system with clear divisions and fixed roles was introduced by Western European civilization, which colonized the whole world and destroyed cultures that had alternative genders. For example, in some cultures of North American Indians and among the indigenous peoples of Siberia, there were several.

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Author:

Morozova Xenia, January 15, 2019

Gender non-binary and transgender have been linked to autistic traits

Researchers from the University of Cambridge, based on data from almost 642 thousand people, found that transgender and non-binary people have autism, autism-related traits and other mental disorders more often than cisgender people of people. The reasons and mechanisms of such a connection remain unclear, however, the authors of the work published in the journal Nature Communications , calling for easier access to mental health care and increased support for transgender people.

The biological sex, which is determined by anatomical, physiological and genetic characteristics, does not always coincide with a person's sense of self. In this case, they say that gender does not coincide with sex, and such people are called transgender - their number is approximately 0.4-1.3 percent of the population. The gender identity of a person may not fit into a binary system (division into male and female gender) - there are people who identify themselves with different genders simultaneously or alternately, or do not associate themselves with any gender at all.

Often, the mismatch between gender identity and biological sex causes discomfort and becomes the cause of a personality disorder - gender dysphoria. In addition, a number of studies involving people with gender dysphoria have found that these groups are more likely than cisgender people to have autism spectrum disorders and other mental disorders. However, the conclusions of these studies are based on small samples, the studies used different methods for determining transgender and autistic symptoms, and analyzed people of different ages and nationalities - which means that no generalization can be directly drawn from them.

Psychologists and psychiatrists at the University of Cambridge, led by Varun Warrier and Simon Baron-Cohen, analyzed five datasets based on online surveys, a total sample of almost 642,000 people, and answered the question, whether autism spectrum disorders, autistic symptoms and other mental disorders are actually more common in transgender and non-binary people than in cisgender people.

In all five datasets, transgender and non-binary people were diagnosed with autism significantly more often than cisgender women, men, and cisgender people in general (odds ratios ranged from 3.03 to 6.36). In four of the five datasets, the relationship persisted even after adjusting for age and education (in the fifth, the effect was not statistically significant). Conversely, in the same four sets, the percentage of transgender people and people with non-binary gender was higher among those diagnosed with autism (p < 2 × 10 ⁻¹⁶ ).

The authors then analyzed the results of four questionnaires on autism-related traits — scores on autism, systematization, empathy, and sensory perception — in people with different genders. In transgender and non-binary people, three coefficients other than empathy were on average higher than in cisgender people. The effect was observed both in people who were diagnosed with autism and in the rest, however, in the first case, the difference was more pronounced. This means that people whose gender identity does not match their biological sex are more likely to have autistic traits, even if they do not have an autism diagnosis.

Finally, the researchers examined the incidence of six other mental disorders (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, learning disabilities, and obsessive-compulsive disorder) in people of different genders. The frequency of diagnoses of all six disorders (especially schizophrenia and depression) was higher in transgender people and people with non-binary gender (for example, the odds ratio for depression was greater than 3.5; all p < 2 × 10 ⁻¹⁶ ).

The authors put forward several hypotheses about why the emergence of mental disorders is associated with gender.

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