How to heal past wounds
8 Tips for Healing Emotional Wounds
Do you ever wonder if healing from emotional wounds is really possible? Can someone really heal from trauma, rejection, depression, a broken heart?
Perhaps youve been hurting for a long time and things dont seem to be getting better.
Perhaps you feel stuck, like youve tried everything, and it hasnt helped.
Or perhaps you feel like youre too old or its too late for you to change.
When you feel so broken and defeated, the task of rebuilding or reinventing yourself and your life feels overwhelming. Its natural to have doubts to wonder if emotional healing is really possible.
I want to assure you that emotional healing is possible. As a therapist, I see people make remarkable recoveries, becoming healthy, happy, and more fully themselves often in ways they never imagined.
But, its true, not everyone returns to emotional health. Some people continue to experience deep emotional pain, repeat unhealthy behaviors and relationships, and struggle with negative, distorted thoughts.
In my 20+ years as a psychotherapist and social worker, Ive noticed some commonalities among people who heal more fully from their emotional wounds and pain. I hope these reflections and tips will help you heal, as well.
- Take baby steps. Trying to make too many changes all at once can backfire. You may become overwhelmed or feel like a failure if you set unrealistic expectations. And dramatic changes are often unsustainable. Making micro-changes small, manageable, incremental changes create feelings of success, hope, and encouragement that are important to carry you through your healing process. You can learn more about making micro-changes here.
- Remember that you dont have to heal 100% to improve the quality of your life. Many people mistakenly believe that emotional healing is all-or-nothing. Again, this belief can be discouraging and overwhelming. But most importantly, its not accurate. Any modest amount of healing will improve the quality of your life.
Take it one step at a time and you will notice small improvements in your mood, ability to cope with triggers, relationships, self-esteem, and ability to complete your daily activities. - Be patient and persistent. Healing is a lot of work. We need to be patient and allow for the time needed to gain new insights and skills. And we need to be persistent and keep going even when it gets difficult, be willing to try new approaches, and challenge ourselves in new ways.
- Set realistic expectations. Im a big believer in the importance of setting realistic expectations. When we dont, we end up disappointed and frustrated often at ourselves, which doesnt help us heal. One of the most common unrealistic expectations that I see is expecting progress to be consistently forward. Nobody just gets stronger and stronger, healthier and healthier. Progress is more likely to be two steps forward and one step backward. And, honestly, dont be surprised if sometimes its two steps backward and one step forward.
This isnt a failure, its a reality. And realistic expectations coupled with patience, persistence, and self-compassion will lead to forward progress, it just may include a few detours and be slower than youd like. - View setbacks as part of the process and learning opportunities. Not only are setbacks normal, but theyre also Often, we learn more from what doesnt work than what does. So, instead of trying to avoid setbacks or relapses, accept that they are part of the process and challenge yourself to be curious about what you can learn that will help you move forward and toward greater healing and self-love.
- Prioritize self-care and self-compassion. When you ask a lot of yourself, you need to give a lot to yourself. And working on emotional healing takes an awful lot of energy, time, and sometimes money. In order to keep going, you need to really pay attention to your feelings and your physical sensations in your body (such as tight muscles, headaches, fatigue, etc.
) because these are your bodys way of telling you what it needs. Take the extra time to listen and take good care of yourself. - Be willing to process your feelings about the past. Trying to avoid whats happened in your past doesnt work. Those feelings tend to stick around, sometimes lying dormant or numbed for a while, but they eventually burst back into our consciousness with a vengeance. This is why therapists so often talk about needing to feel your feelings. We need to feel them and give them space before they lose their power over us and truly become part of the past. You can slowly work on sitting quietly, allowing your feelings to surface, naming them, and exploring what theyre about. For many people, this is quite challenging and working with a therapist can be helpful.
- Ask for help. Healing isnt meant to be done in isolation. It isnt easy to ask for help, especially if people have betrayed you in the past. But reaching out for help has so many benefits emotional support, guidance, and the ability to break down shame.
And help can take many different forms depending on your needs, so I hope youll look at it as another form of self-care and ask for the kind of help that best meets your needs.
If you feel discouraged, a guided meditation or mantra can help you shift your thoughts towards a more hopeful, positive outlook. You can experiment with the short healing meditation Ive written below or try creating one thats specific to your own challenges and needs.
Emotional healing is possible.
I am learning to take it one day at a time.
I will remember that its not a race to the finish line.
I will be patient with myself and continue to take small steps forward.
And when I have a setback, Ill use it as an opportunity to learn more about myself and how to heal my emotional wounds.
Emotional healing is a lot of work, so I will treat myself with loving care and remember to replenish my physical and emotional energy.
I will try to slow down and feel my feelings.
I will seek help from trusted people who can give me guidance, encouragement, and love along this journey.
I am healing one day at a time.
I am learning to trust myself and speak my truth.
I am learning to embrace my true self, imperfections and all.
I am learning to let go of what other people think and to honor what I think and feel.
I am learning about my interests, priorities, and values.
I am learning to make time for rest, fun, and pursuing my own goals.
I am learning to put myself on my to-do list.
I am learning to be ME.
I am healing one day at a time.
2019 Sharon Martin, LCSW. All rights reserved. Photo byAlex WoodsonUnsplash.
3 Essential Tips on How to Heal Emotional Wounds and Trauma
Self-Help | Trauma
7 Minute Read
W hen we think of the term “healing”, we tend to first think of a physical injury— a broken bone, a strained muscle, an open wound. We can acknowledge that each requires time, rest, a tender touch, and medical attention in order for healing to take place and occur properly so that all is restored.
But what happens when the wound is an emotional one? Learn three tips for how to heal emotional wounds and recover from trauma.
What is emotional trauma?
Emotional and psychological traumas are the result of extremely stressful events that leave us feeling unsafe and disconnected from everyone around us. They leave us feeling helpless, powerless, and overwhelmed. Many people also experience painful feelings and memories as well as anxiety that won’t go away.
Just like the traumas that the body endures, we need to recognize that we each experience a range of emotional traumas as the result of life’s many hardships. Emotional trauma is suffered by the mind, heart, or spirit. It can stem from any number of experiences, including:
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Loss of a loved one through death
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A bad breakup or divorce
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Surviving abuse or emotional neglect
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Sudden financial hardships
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Loss of property
Emotional trauma can leave us feeling helpless, powerless, and overwhelmed.
What are the symptoms of emotional or psychological trauma?Emotional and psychological traumas are the result of extremely stressful events that leave us feeling unsafe and disconnected from everyone around us.
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Emotional traumas can often be difficult to detect because symptoms manifest differently from person to person. Some might fall into a deep depression and pull away from everyone. Others might mask their pain with drugs, alcohol, or some other acting-out behaviors. Many people might appear to carry on as if it’s business as usual.
Issues of the mind and heart are harder to detect. Therefore, they are easier to hide from the outside world. As a result, we fool ourselves into dismissing, ignoring, or avoiding them in an effort to convince ourselves that we are okay and should just “move on”. But just like any physical wound, a broken heart requires attention, care, love, and healing.
We must go through an emotional healing process. Understanding the stages of trauma and recovery is a helpful place to start.
Emotional traumas can often be difficult to detect because symptoms manifest differently from person to person.
How to heal yourself emotionally from trauma or tragedyThe best course of action for healing old emotional wounds is to be an active participant in your healing process. Here are three tips for healing emotional wounds to recover from trauma:
Healing Trauma Tip #1: Practice Identifying The Cause
Injuries to our mind, heart, and spirit must first be identified and acknowledged before they can be treated. So often we walk around carrying pains we don’t even remember picking up. We carry them with us through life. Sometimes, this pain begins in early childhood and stays with us as we navigate adulthood. Other times, sudden shifts or unexpected life changes throw us into a crisis of identity that leaves us feeling lost.
Either way, you will not be able to release the pain you have been carrying if you don’t know that you’re holding onto it. You cannot heal an emotional wound that you invalidate or resist acknowledging.
Ways to identify the cause of emotional woundsAs a therapist, identifying the root causes of clients’ emotional pain and suffering is part of my mission. Meeting with a therapist or counselor is a fantastic opportunity to get in touch with your suffering and general discomfort associated with healing emotional pain. In order to address the underlying trauma, it’s important that you work with a therapist who is both trained in treating trauma and a good fit for your personality. Feeling understood and supported is key to this process.
If you’re reluctant to see a professional, or if professional help is not available, you can still begin to understand the causes of your pain through honestly examining yourself. Look at the people in your life.
Determine who and what is triggering your suffering and take notes. Keeping track of thoughts and in a journal can help you find patterns.
If you can’t work with a therapist right away, taking stock of what is causing pain is an important first step. Then you can move toward deciding how to heal emotionally.
If you can’t work with a therapist right away, taking stock of what is causing pain is an important first step. Then you can move toward deciding how to heal emotionally.
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Healing Trauma Tip #2: Practice Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness means being self-aware and present in the current moment. This is key to a peaceful life at any stage, but especially after emotional trauma. There’s a reason why people need to take time off from work and social engagements after a breakup or significant loss. Slowing down allows us to acknowledge and validate our pain and wounded feelings. This is much better than masking it with busy schedules or obligations.
Additionally, because mindfulness aligns you with the power of now, the traumas of your past will slowly begin to have less control over your emotional state. I tell my clients that healing occurs in the present, not by dredging through all of the trauma forever. We may revisit the traumatic moments as a means of releasing the pain and so that the wound can be uncovered. However, we do not live in the past or stay there for too long. Mindfulness can help retrain your brain to react differently to painful thoughts and memories.
Once you get to the root cause of your pain, you must lean into it and allow yourself to release it. The past only exists in the mind. Where you once were a victim, you can now choose to be a survivor by focusing on the beautiful opportunities available to you in the present moment. This is what a positive mental healing process involves.
Healing occurs in the present, not by dredging through all of the trauma forever.
Healing Trauma Tip #3: Practice Patience
Another crucial aspect of emotional healing is patience.
We all know that if you pick at a wound, it won’t heal. If you don’t rest a strained muscle, you risk further damage. The same is true of emotional scars. Stop interfering. Give yourself real time to heal. You cannot put a deadline on your progress.
The choice to heal emotions can be made at any given moment. However, it may take a significant part of a lifetime to heal deeply rooted suffering. Rushing yourself will only result in more distress. Instead, breathe and continue to encourage yourself. Be proud of every step you are taking towards repairing your mental, emotional, and spiritual wounds. Check out this blog post for how breathwork can help you manage overwhelming emotions, including anxiety.
Are you prepared to heal emotional wounds that are keeping you stuck?The therapists at Clarity Therapy NYC work with people every day who have experienced various kinds of trauma. They help clients develop a healthier view of themselves, strengthen their relationships, and build a new sense of purpose.
As a result, people feel more peaceful, whole, and safe. Are you ready to work toward healing?
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Your Turn: What coping methods have you found success with to heal emotional wounds? Share what’s worked for you in the comments below.
Dr. Logan Jones is a Psychologist and Founder of Clarity Therapy. Sign up for his free 30 Days of Gratitude email series and follow him on Instagram at @drloganjones.
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3 steps and 1 sure way how to heal spiritual wounds
Surviving emotional trauma from betrayal, betrayal, humiliation and manipulation of the feeling of love can be very difficult. If everything is left to chance and just wait, it can take a long time. And this time is not very easy. It is even more difficult to get out of this pool and maintain the ability to love. How to heal spiritual wounds and emerge victorious, having gained valuable experience and happiness, we will talk today in this article.
By doing what is recommended here, you will not only get rid of the problem, you will be really glad and grateful that this happened to you.
Now it sounds unbelievable and fantastic? Read to the end and do what is recommended. Don't take my word for it. Check it out for yourself and see for yourself.
- — How to heal emotional wounds after a breakup, after a broken heart, after betrayal, after a divorce
In past articles, I have already raised the topic of betrayal, disappointment, stress and grief. Provided ways out of such situations. Use these methods. Read more in the articles:
- "3 sure ways to forget a girl after a breakup, whom you love and cannot forget"
- "6 ways to relieve stress and nervous tension for a woman in various life situations"
- "How to get rid of stress and worries on your own and forever"
In these articles I described first-class techniques to bring yourself back to normal, into a resource state . Take advantage of them. Today we're digging even deeper. By reading and applying the three-step methodology described below, you will not only heal your wounds, not even just be healed, you will actually become stronger, wiser and, most importantly, happier.
How to heal spiritual wounds after parting, after a broken heart, after betrayal, after divorce
Why sometimes you broke up and forgot, and sometimes it's so hard and painful?
When do we get our hearts broken? When do we get hurt? Why is it so painful and tragic? We need to understand the reasons why we find ourselves in such a state, why do we need all this and why did this happen to us? Once you understand this, the solution will appear.
Mutual harmonious relationships are a rarity in our world. How to meet such I will write at the end of the article. And most often it happens that the feelings are not mutual. And if earlier, in antiquity, this led to sublimation into the veneration of the lady, writing poetry, i.e. energy rose to higher centers, awakened creativity and the flight of thought, then today people enter into relationships. Relationships are developing. But the problem is that very few people are ready to honestly admit to a partner, and to themselves, that there really are no feelings.
As a result, one feels love, flies and flutters, and the other uses it for his own selfish purposes. This is usually not noticeable to the lover, because the lover ignores such manifestations. Everything is aggravated if he is told that he loves and sometimes even shows signs of attention. However, sooner or later everything becomes clear. Everyone wants to be loved, and many fall for it. It's nice. But also, everyone wants to love and needs this feeling. Therefore, if he does not experience this, subconsciously, he begins to destroy relationships with his behavior.
What we don't notice
And this leads to a fiasco. But the one who provoked this, even unconsciously, does not experience grief. He moves smoothly into the next relationship and doesn't sweat it. Another thing with the second. He loved it and did not care for the soul. Opened up and went to unity. And then a hard kick in the heart.
It is extremely difficult to survive. Usually people close down and never want to have that pain again.
This leads to an atrophied ability to love, open the heart and live life to the fullest. These people suffer all the time. They make life much harder. Yes, they may not experience acute pain. But the euphoria from the fullness of love too.
Some would say it's better this way. But the problem is that by closing your heart, you will not be able to feel another person, nature, world, life. This is a truncated version of life. Like disabled people, such people have cut off a large part of themselves and ignore it. And this already leads to energy blocks, physical clamps, tumors, problems, diseases. Do you need it?
Therefore, it is critically important to pass this stage correctly and emerge victorious.
What needs to be understood and accepted
The first thing to do is to realize and feel that you are not the victim. You loved, you opened up, you wanted to merge with your beloved. He could not. He is disabled. This function does not work for him.
He can and should be sympathized with. Yes, you did everything to help him. But you can not help by force. If a person is not ready, then everything only aggravates the situation. It's his choice. This is his way. Maybe someday he can. Maybe. But not with you. Or maybe he can't. But this is his choice.
Here you need to understand that you are you. And he is him. Well, or she. I'm not going to sweat too much here about writing he or she. Understand this for your case. If you are a girl, then he is he, well, or she. If a man, and I write he, then read it, unless of course your chosen one is not male. )
Allow yourself to be yourself and the other to be different. It is important not only to understand it intellectually, but to accept it as a fact, to feel it. You must be prepared that the other will always be different. And he will never feel what you feel. We must come to terms with this. The only time this is possible is when both partners have mastered meditation and can immerse themselves in samadhi (merging with each other).
But this is a rarity. How to achieve this - read on.
How can one understand and forgive
When you find yourself in a heartbreak situation, the first thing to do is to think about where you made a mistake. This is no reason for regret. No reason to feel like a victim. It is worth finding the moment when you lost yourself, dissolved in your partner, put his priorities above yours, when you cheated on yourself.
It's not easy. But cheating on your partner is always preceded by your cheating. Your betrayal of yourself. You need to find this moment and admit that you have compromised your principles. Put him (her) above all. And of course, we received a signal that we should not do this. Most likely, you ignored him, tried not to notice, deceived yourself. This is the second joint. Then, most likely, more signals and signs followed, but you stubbornly stood your ground. So?
Maybe in your case the situation unfolded a little differently. But if you have come to a broken heart, you will have to get out of this state.
What to do to heal your heart:
- Take time for yourself. Another hour. Turn off gadgets. Disconnect from society. Be alone with yourself.
- Try to relax as much as possible. How much will it work. To do this, do what will help you. Anything will do. Hot bath, incense, music (but better without words, purely instrumental, to your taste, but the more melodic and inconspicuous it is, the better). It is desirable to be in a sober mind. But if it’s completely unbearable, you can afford a little alcohol. Very little. More ritualistic than physiological. And most importantly: you are alone with yourself. Gadgets are turned off, only you are in the house (apartment).
- If you can, enter a special state of consciousness (read how to do it in the article: “Meditation technique for beginners, how not to make 12 major mistakes and achieve success. A simple algorithm and clear instructions”)
- Perform an anti-stress technique (read about it "How to get rid of worries and stress: 3 simple practices that will make you calm instantly, easily, pleasantly and effectively")
- Relax your body.
Breathe fully. Stretch your breath. - Focus on the sensations of the physical body. Explore it.
- Pick a moment when you "changed yourself."
- Relive this moment. Say what you felt then. Feel it again and describe how you felt.
- Speak out what you feel as you relive this moment. What emotions, sensations are you experiencing now, remembering this event.
- Repeat steps 7 - 9.
- Repeat them again, and again, and again. Until this event becomes just a memory, without emotional and sensory coloring. (Usually need 2-3 to 7-10 cycles)
- Do steps 7 - 11 with the next event, and so on.
- Sitting with your eyes closed, imagine your (your) former (former) beloved (beloved) in front of you.
- Unite, merge with her (him). Be that person. You disappear and you begin to feel, think, act like he (she).
- Live (in your imagination) the most critical, fattest events of your interaction, conflicts, misunderstandings, quarrels, analysis of relationships, etc.
Live all this not from yourself, but from him (her). Do this until you start to feel like he (she). - Return to yourself. Disconnect with him (her).
- Erase his (her) image.
- From yourself, remember what he (she) experienced. Now it will not be difficult to understand and accept his (her) actions, words, actions.
- Do a sweeping breath and/or practice returning luminosity.
- Thank you sincerely to everyone who helped and helped you. Including the person with whom they worked. Don't forget yourself. Gratitude must be felt. It can be expressed in words, but it is not necessary.
- Open your heart. Be filled with light and flow of love. Take a harmonizing breath and complete the practice.
If you do the above practice well, you will be completely free from the burden of past losses and grief.
Perhaps, for a more targeted and high-quality study, you will need the practice of Emotional Harmonization. Read about it here.
And here. (links will open in a new tab).
How to continue to live and love at a new level of awareness and openness
When you are free, you will feel a new taste for life. Fullness and enthusiasm for new victories and achievements. Stop. It should not be forgotten that behavioral imprints and internal attitudes have not yet completely changed.
You are still the same as you were, but more perfect. You healed spiritual wounds and glued together a broken heart. But gluing will not return the previous fullness. To do this, you need to be completely healed – become Whole ! Only a Holistic Personality can meet a Full-fledged, namely His Woman (His Whole Man).
To make this possible, you need to heal yourself. How to do this in an easy artistic form, I described in my book "Hitchhiking to Heaven - a direct path to yourself." With the heroes of the book, you will go on an amazing and exciting journey and return renewed, in good health and good spirits.
Download the book here.
And my course will help you to truly gain Integrity, the practices of which helped me and many of my followers to regain their Completeness and completely heal . Read about how to do it here. This will give a complete understanding of how to heal spiritual wounds and fully help to regain oneself, the fullness of life, happiness and love.
As soon as the snow melts and the earth dries up, an army of cyclists and skateboarders fills the yards and squares, opening a list of summer injuries, among which broken knees and elbows are in the first place. Although these injuries belong to the category of lungs, they bring much suffering and inconvenience to children.
First aid: wash the wound surface with a 3% solution of hydrogen peroxide, pouring it directly from the bottle, or with a solution of furacilin (one tablet per glass of boiled water) or a weak solution of potassium permanganate (potassium permanganate).
If there is no antiseptic at hand, just use boiled water. Dry the wound with gentle wetting movements with gauze. Wash the contaminated skin around the wound thoroughly with warm water and soap, after protecting the damaged area. Lubricate a dried and non-bleeding wound with a 1-2% solution of brilliant green.
If the wound is dry and superficial, then it does not need a bandage. It is enough to follow hygiene rules and lubricate it with brilliant green 2-3 times a day. A good remedy for such wounds is Novikov's liquid, created on the basis of brilliant green with the addition of a special colloidal mass. Drying quickly in air, it forms a dense elastic film that protects the wound from dirt.
With bleeding and infected wounds, Novikov's liquid is contraindicated!
If the wound is deep, and blood or ichor continues to ooze from it, you cannot do without a bandage. Lubricate the skin around the wound with iodine or brilliant green, and apply a napkin moistened with furatsilin, rivanol, chlorhexidine or other antiseptic agent on the surface of the wound and fix it with a bandage.
Apply the bandage carefully and tightly enough: in a mobile fidget, it can slide off the wound, before you even blink an eye. But do not overdo it: too tight bandaging will cause circulatory disorders, and even swelling of the soft tissues below. To better hold the bandage on the wound, use an elastic tubular bandage that is properly sized.
Currently, the pharmacy has a huge range of modern dressings with hemostatic, antimicrobial, anti-inflammatory, analgesic and wound healing effects. I will name just a few of them: Koletex, Aktivteks. A drug, such as chlorhexidine and lidocaine, is applied to the gauze layer, and this napkin protects the wound from germs and has an analgesic effect. Due to the sticky edges, it is tightly fixed, does not require replacement within 2-3 days, and, most importantly, does not stick to the wound.
If the dressing is applied well, does not move out, remains dry and does not emit an unpleasant odor, which indicates the well-being of the wound, you can not touch it for 2-3 days.
When removing the bandage, be careful. Do not tear off the dried napkin, but thoroughly moisten it with any antiseptic solution or boiled water, and only when it gets wet, separate it from the wound.
Is the wound dry and clean? No more bandage required. Lubricate the wound with brilliant green, Novikov's liquid or liquid plaster[1], keep the skin around it clean and live calmly.
Why do broken knees take a long time to heal?
For the epithelialization of any wound, rest is required, and the one located in the joint area is constantly under load. One has only to form a crust, as it cracks when moving. Often the child himself tears off the crusts that tighten the skin and interfere with movement in the joint.
What to do? Use at night dressings with rosehip or sea buckthorn oil, Olazol preparation containing sea buckthorn oil, vinylin ointments, vinizol. From them, the crusts will become soft and elastic, and healing will go faster.
At night, the bandage will not interfere with the child, and the drug will freely act on the wound. There are ready-made bandages that have a wound healing effect: Activetex with sea buckthorn oil, Voskopran with Levomekol ointment - they are applied to the injured knee and accelerate healing, as they contribute to the penetration of air under the bandage, decontamination of the wound and its speedy epithelization.
Most often, knees and elbows suffer from falling from a bicycle and skating and skateboarding. A novice cyclist and a young roller skater will not be damaged by protective knee and elbow pads that soften the inevitable falls.
Another common bicycle-related injury: riding a “passenger” on the trunk, ending with the passenger’s foot getting caught between the spokes of the rear wheel and both falling to the ground. The "passenger" has a fracture of the bones of the lower leg or an extensive laceration. And the “driver” most often gets off with torn knees and elbows.
