Feeling like everyone hates you

SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

Suggested Resources
What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery. Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.
It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.

After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
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Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.
For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

SAMHSA Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator

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Welcome to the Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator, a confidential and anonymous source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the United States or U.S. Territories for substance use/addiction and/or mental health problems.

PLEASE NOTE: Your personal information and the search criteria you enter into the Locator is secure and anonymous. SAMHSA does not collect or maintain any information you provide.

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The Locator is authorized by the 21st Century Cures Act (Public Law 114-255, Section 9006; 42 U.S.C. 290bb-36d). SAMHSA endeavors to keep the Locator current. All information in the Locator is updated annually from facility responses to SAMHSA’s National Substance Use and Mental Health Services Survey (N-SUMHSS). New facilities that have completed an abbreviated survey and met all the qualifications are added monthly. Updates to facility names, addresses, telephone numbers, and services are made weekly for facilities informing SAMHSA of changes. Facilities may request additions or changes to their information by sending an e-mail to [email protected], by calling the BHSIS Project Office at 1-833-888-1553 (Mon-Fri 8-6 ET), or by electronic form submission using the Locator online application form (intended for additions of new facilities).

"I'm afraid of people because I think they all hate me"

Ask an expert to know yourself A man among people

what a wretch I am. I can't relax, I can't leave the house. It is difficult for me to work and study because of this, and making mistakes is generally death for me.

Amina, 19 years old

Amina, how did it all start? You did not immediately find yourself in such a position when you had to close yourself from everyone and be afraid of everything.

If you really can't leave the house, it's best to seek professional help from a psychiatrist, as the symptoms you describe are similar to those of a serious mental health problem.

WHO (World Health Organization) states that mental health is the ability to adapt to change. If you can't safely move around the streets out of fear that everyone hates you, then this is an overreaction.

If you were to leave the house and immediately a crowd of angry people gathered around you who would scold you, insult you and point fingers at you, then this would be a good reason for everyone to be afraid and stay at home in safety.

I don't think that's what happens to you when you decide to take a walk or go on business. Most likely, these are your thoughts, which are increasingly preventing you from living a normal life.

Our perception of reality is extremely subjective: if we have ideas, we will confirm them with facts. That's how the psyche works.

It is important to develop the ability to critically evaluate your own thoughts so as not to end up in a position where "everyone" hates us

You repeated this pronoun many times - this is called generalization and hyperbolization. Who is "everyone"?

And why are you afraid of mistakes? What does it mean that "this is generally death"? It is difficult to imagine a person who can live his life without making mistakes. When we make mistakes, we learn. When we learn, we comprehend ourselves and the world around us. By denying mistakes, you deny life itself. Think about it.

You should seriously reconsider the principles on which your worldview is now built - they lead you to isolation and suffering. You need to understand what brought you here and find another way where you accept yourself even when you are wrong. Where you are not at enmity with the whole world, but you know how to build relationships with it and live in harmony.

Photo Source: Getty Images

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"Everyone hates me." 10 tips from a psychologist on how to be offended less often

It is normal to be offended. But what if you have already quarreled with all your friends and any criticism hurts you? Thinking that no one likes you and everyone intentionally offends you is irrational. It is better to understand the reasons for your resentment and arm yourself with tactics suitable for different situations to overcome it. We retell an article by psychologist Leon Seltser on how to do this.

Do not rush to attribute evil intent to another person

If you have prejudices about yourself, you are likely to project them onto how other people perceive you. However, you need to accept that you may be unconsciously seeking confirmation of your own self-doubt. Having confessed your tendency to misperceive other people's intentions, try to remain attentive to the interlocutor. By continuing to listen, you will know for sure whether he meant something bad or it seemed to you.

Ask yourself if your reaction is not exaggerated

Think about what exactly you are reacting to, whether something actually insignificant became the reason for your strong resentment. Remember, when you overreact emotionally, it may be your inner child speaking. Therefore, try to respond not to the person who launched this emotional process in you, but to the child inside you. Be sympathetic to this vulnerable being, who was reminded of a long-standing emotional trauma and which he was never able to fully survive. Learn to soothe this child who seems to have been criticized too often. Explain to him that in general, everything is fine with you - even if sometimes you fail, you are misunderstood or accused of something without reason.

If the other person has not openly insulted you, hurt you or said bad things about you to other people on purpose, take it on faith that he does not wish you harm

Attributing bad intentions to other people is not the best way to have a healthy relationship with surrounding. Remind yourself that most people have no need to hurt others. Do not hide that you yourself sometimes show cynicism. But note that, for the most part, this is just a protective measure. And don't forget that most of us don't know how to accurately express our feelings and thoughts. When you hear someone else's words trying to hurt you, keep in mind that the message could actually be much friendlier.

If someone criticizes you, ask yourself if such an assessment can be regarded as constructive

You cannot improve and overcome some of your weaknesses and shortcomings as long as you resist any criticism simply because it scares you too much. So the next time you get criticized, shift your focus and think about whether this negative feedback can help you grow, develop some skills, or understand something better.

Consider whether your reaction might be a sign of excessive egocentrism

Resentment is one of the emotions associated with self-awareness. But when you're self-centered, it's easy to lose sight of the other person with their self-awareness. Try to overcome the feeling of anxiety and look at the situation from an angle that is different from your own point of view.

Take a deep breath, relax, emotionally distance yourself from the situation

No matter how self-centered you may be, do not forget that in the end you are not the center of the universe. A person could not have you in mind at all, uttering a phrase that upset you. Perhaps she seemed offensive only to you. So try not to take other people's words personally. And if the other person is drunk, in a bad mood, or irritated, it is safer to observe their unpleasant behavior from a distance.

Learn meditation, abdominal breathing, visualization, body scanning, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, tai chi or other relaxation techniques

Meditation helps to achieve calmness and overcome such emotions as jealousy, envy, thirst for revenge, resentment. Once you learn this practice, you can easily use it regularly for relaxation. Meditation teaches awareness and the ability to look at the "hooks" of thoughts before they pick you up and take you in an unknown direction.

Think about whether you offended another person even before he did you

If you try to shift your attention from your own feelings to the interlocutor, you may realize that he uttered an unpleasant phrase, because it was you who offended him in the first place. Maybe it's not him who should apologize, but you. Even if you didn't mean anything bad. By the way, the "Workshop" has already told you how to apologize so that you are really forgiven.

If you are deliberately looking for a reason to be offended, admit it to yourself

Catching others to hurt you may just be an attempt to assert themselves. In reality, such a habit simply hides self-doubt. It is more productive to focus attention on your own failures and ways to overcome them, rather than redirect it to the search for other people's shortcomings.

Lower your expectations of others - and of yourself too

Other people may not be as empathic, sensitive and responsive as you would like them to be. They may lack delicacy and consideration for others. Maybe you should just get used to other people's shortcomings, accept other people as they are, without trying to impose your own standards of behavior on them, which they cannot and will not adhere to? In fact, we are often frustrated only by the fact that others do not correspond to our personal ideals - often smacking of perfectionism and which we ourselves hardly adhere to. If you let go of your unrealistic standards, you will be less likely to get upset when you think others are dismissive, callous, or inconsiderate. You will almost certainly become calmer and happier.

The most unfortunate way to deal with resentment is to attack your imaginary or real opponent. If you want to know how to behave when you are faced with real attempts to hurt you, then the main advice is to develop self-confidence and improve self-esteem. So you will become less sensitive to the tactlessness of others. And if you hear a grain of truth in the words of the interlocutor, even if it is expressed impolitely, it will be easier for you to accept it and change your behavior for the better.

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